Cherry Pop (Mercury Rising Book 3) (20 page)

“I have many talents,” Ben said. “Computers were only one of my options.”

Tripp finally turned and looked at him. “I know. You could have been a real contender.” He forgot what old movie that was from. It was black-and-white and had Marlon Brando in it. Ben had insisted they watch it on late-night TV a couple of weeks ago. Much to his surprise Tripp had liked it a lot.

“That’s close,” Ben said. “I didn’t actually sell out like Brando, though. I chose the road most travelled.”

Tripp smiled stiffly. “Not travelled much around here.” Every word out of Ben’s mouth reminded him how different Mercury was from California and what Ben was used to.

“Okay,” Ben said with a sigh. “Would you just tell me what happened yesterday?”

“You never answered my texts,” Tripp countered. “Why?”

It was Ben’s turn to look away. He lowered his legs and smoothed down the sheet on the bed beside him. “We had that fight the night before and I was all kinds of confused,” he finally admitted. He peeked up at Tripp. “And then something came up and I thought it had been too long to respond and that I’d just talk to you in person.”

“I may have sort of broken my promise to you,” Tripp said, guilt making him a little sick to his stomach.

“What promise?” Ben said, frowning.

“About not talking about us, not telling people we were seeing each other.” Ben opened his mouth to say something and Tripp rushed on, not letting him speak. “I just needed to talk to someone after that fight we had. Which really wasn’t a fight, by the way. At least not what I’d call a fight. More like a disagreement.

“Anyway, Luke had breakfast with me at Wren’s, and we sort of got to talking because he could tell I was upset. And then Brian and Evan showed up and Brian was being an ass and accusing me of dumping you or something, and I got mad and spilled the beans. And then it just seemed to steamroll from there until half of Wren’s was talking about us.” He winced. “I’m real sorry. I mean it. I am. I wasn’t trying to push you into anything. I swear.”

“I saw Trey yesterday afternoon and he told me,” Ben said quietly with a little smile. “It’s okay.”

“I—it’s okay?” Tripp asked. “Who are you and what have you done with Ben?”

Ben patted the bed next to him. “Come here,” he said. “Let’s talk.”

Tripp hesitated. Ben reached over and picked up another bottle of water off the bedside table. “Drink some more water. You’ll feel better. And if you drink this—” He shook the water, then reached down beside the bed and pulled up a full bottle of Cheerwine. “—you can have this.”

“I’m actually feeling pretty good, considering,” Tripp said, surprised to find that it was the truth. “What’d you give me earlier?”

“Just some Advil,” Ben said. “It’s the painkillers and the water and sleep combo that helps kill a hangover, according to Connor. I think being young helps too.” He said it sarcastically.

“Are we going to rehash that old argument?” Tripp asked impatiently. “Eight years isn’t a huge age difference.”

“No, you’re right,” Ben said, surprising Tripp again. “Now, would you please get your ass over here so we can talk? I promise not to bite. Yet.”

It was the “yet” that got Tripp over to the bed.

That and the Cheerwine.

T
ripp sat cautiously
on the bed beside Ben and took the offered bottle of water. Ben smiled wryly at the suspicion on his face, trying to set Tripp at ease. He felt a pang of regret that his confusion and mixed messages had made Tripp so hesitant. When they first met, it was Tripp who impetuously accepted his attraction to and feelings for Ben, with no hesitation or uncertainty. Ben hoped he felt the same way today.

“I had a rather interesting day yesterday,” Ben said, settling comfortably back against the pillows, angled to face Tripp.

He liked this. Liked sitting here on the bed half naked talking to Tripp, discussing what had happened in the hopes of getting Tripp’s opinion about it all. Somewhere along the way in the past month Tripp’s opinion had become important to him. Tripp was pretty grounded. He understood the black and white of a situation, but he appreciated the gray areas too. Hadn’t he said he lived in the gray area, or something like that, when trying to convince Ben he was gay? God, that seemed so long ago, even though Ben knew it wasn’t. He’d never had someone in his life like Tripp, not just as a lover, but as a friend.

“You had an interesting day?” Tripp said incredulously. “Both Luke and my dad tried to talk to me about anal sex yesterday. It was very traumatic.”

“Poor baby,” Ben said through his laughter. “God, that must have been awful.”

“You have no idea,” Tripp said, shuddering. “I told my dad I never wanted to hear him say the words ‘anal sex’ again.”

“I’m voting for that also,” Ben said, cringing. “Was this all because of me?”

“Yes,” Tripp said, finally relaxing back against the headboard like Ben. He grabbed the pillow and shoved it behind his back. “It all started at Wren’s. Somehow that got real pretty fast. I blame Brian.”

“I usually do too,” Ben said, nodding. “It works.”

Tripp took a drink from the bottle of water, and then lowered it to his lap, staring at it. “You had me pretty messed up,” he said quietly. “I didn’t know what was going on with us after that fight that wasn’t a fight. And then you weren’t answering my texts and everyone told me you didn’t want me, and then Luke said you’d left to go back to L.A. with some guy who came to see you.”

“Wow,” Ben said, tentatively reaching out and running his finger along the sharp tendon that ran from Tripp’s wrist to his thumb. “You did have a traumatic day.” Tripp set the bottle down on the floor beside the bed and then took Ben’s hand in his, interlocking their fingers.

“First of all, I am guilty of ignoring your text because I wasn’t sure what to do about us.” He thought Tripp would say something, but he didn’t. He just sat there rubbing his thumb over the edge of Ben’s fingernail, not looking at him. “I was worried that we were getting too involved and somebody was going to get hurt.”

“Me?” Tripp asked, peeking over at him in a side glance.

“Both of us,” Ben said, clarifying. “Then I talked to my mom.”

Tripp frowned and turned his head to face Ben. “Your mom?”

Ben nodded. “Do you know what she told me? She told me she left my dad because it was too perfect, everything was perfect and she didn’t think it could last. And then she blew me away by admitting that if she could do it all over she would, because she never found in L.A. what she could have had with my dad.” He was still shocked over that conversation and planned to talk to her again soon about it. Maybe he needed to talk to his dad too.

“Damn,” Tripp said. “My dad said pretty much the same thing. He told me that he left my mom before she could leave him, because he never believed that a woman like her would stay with him. All those other women were him trying to find one to take her place when she finally left. I told him he was crazy.”

“And I’m doing all those things,” Ben said, wincing in shame. He let go of Tripp’s hand, opened the Cheerwine, and took a drink, then handed it to Tripp. “I’m so worried about this great connection we’ve had from almost the moment we met that I’m not enjoying it or giving it a chance to grow. I’m sorry for that. I can’t believe how patient you’ve been.”

“I am pretty close to perfect,” Tripp said modestly.

“Don’t push it.” Tripp just grinned at Ben’s dry tone and took a drink. “But, the thing is, actually the most important thing, is that I’ve been projecting again.”

“Projecting what?” Tripp turned on his side and rested his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow on the bed. Ben readjusted and took up a similar position facing Tripp.

“My past onto you,” Ben admitted. “I saw myself in you, when I was younger and I first got involved with Roland. I wish now that I hadn’t been in such a rush to be with him. I feel like I lost eight years of my life. I lost chances and opportunities, experiences that I can never get back, because I threw my youth away on someone who didn’t deserve it. I didn’t want you to do the same thing.”

“That’s not me and that’s not what’s going on,” Tripp interjected hotly.

“I know,” Ben rushed to add before Tripp could go any further. “I know that now. And at the time I didn’t realize that was what I was doing. But yesterday, it just became clear. I know you’re not me. You’re nothing like I was then. I was so green, naïve and immature, ripe for the picking. Roland saw that and took advantage and I let him, at first because I was dumb. Later, because it was just easier. I got used to having someone around, even if it was someone I didn’t really want anymore, and who didn’t really want me, if we were honest about it. I was afraid of being alone. So I closed myself off and buried my unhappiness, and in the end it didn’t matter because he let me go, long after I should have left on my own.”

“That’s not going to be us,” Tripp said quietly. He rolled away and set the Cheerwine on the floor, then rolled back to face Ben again, reaching out to capture his hand. “We have a lot in common. Okay, we have a lot of things not in common too. But that’s good, right? I told you, I don’t want to change you. I love you just the way you are. And I’m not going to change for you either. I like me just fine too.”

“It’s kind of soon for the L word,” Ben said, his heart leaping. He was scared of going there, but good scared.

“You play it your way, I’ll play it mine,” Tripp said, and Ben was again reminded of his conversation with his mom.

“I talked to Roland yesterday too.” Tripp’s eyes got big. “He called. The guy from L.A. who came to see me? It was Roland’s very recent ex, the guy he kicked me out for.”

“What the hell?” Tripp said with a laugh. “Your day may actually have been more interesting than mine.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Ben agreed. “Anyway, his name is K.C., as in the letters K and C.” Tripp rolled his eyes, which made Ben laugh. “It was eerie how much he looked like me, at least me a few years ago. He came to see me because apparently he was tired of being unfavorably compared to me over the last year. When Roland kicked him out he decided to come and see what was so great about me. His words, not mine.”

“You are great,” Tripp told him. “Did it get ugly?”

“Not really. He sort of lost steam a couple of minutes after he got to my office and then he was just a lost kid who didn’t know where to go or what to do. So I took him to Trey in Wilmington.”

“Kid?” Tripp said.

“I guess he’s about your age,” Ben said, wrinkling his nose. “But he seemed a lot younger. He made a casual comment about you being in the same place I was back when I met Roland, and that’s what made me realize I’d been projecting my own confusion and unhappiness over my choices onto you.”

“Remind me to thank K.C.,” Tripp said with a quick smile. Then he frowned. “Are you sure Trey was the right person to leave him with? Wouldn’t Evan have been better?”

“I think K.C. is a lot like Trey was when he got to Hollywood,” Ben mused. “Roland took advantage of K.C. He’s good at that. Anyway, my reasoning was that Trey would know what to say to someone in K.C.’s position, you know? Like a mentor. Also, I really wanted him out of Mercury. I couldn’t see any good coming from his staying here.”

“I guess I can see that,” Tripp said, although he sounded doubtful. “Trey was talking about building a house here.”

“What?” Ben was shocked. “I mean, I know he’s out here visiting Brian and Evan like every other week, but he wants to live here?”

“Time will tell,” Tripp said in his practical way. “Talking isn’t doing, is it?” He gave Ben a lopsided grin. “Maybe you should think about building a house here.” He sounded hopeful, but at the same time nervous.

“Maybe I should,” he said, acting casual. That got Tripp’s attention.

“Really?” he asked, excitement spiking his voice. “Are you serious? What about going back to L.A.?”

“My condo is only 850 square feet,” Ben told him, smiling. “And they don’t allow pets.”

“Oh, you can get something a lot bigger down here,” Tripp said, playing along. “Three thousand square feet, maybe four depending on your budget. Even get a yard for your dog.”

“I was thinking maybe a cat first,” Ben said. “You know I like to work up to serious commitment.” At least now he did. He’d jumped in without a lifejacket with Roland and he’d promised himself he’d never do that again. Tripp wasn’t Roland, Ben was
older and wiser, but the reality was they’d only known one another for a little over a month. Despite their off the charts chemistry and the very real feelings he had for Tripp, he was going to err on the side of caution.

“The fact is I’d miss those tall trees.” He traced the tattoo on Tripp’s arm. “And the night trains.” He ran his hand over the train on Tripp’s upper arm. “And you. If I left, I mean.”

“About how long does it take to work up to serious commitment?” Tripp asked. He pulled Ben’s hand over and bit the tip of his finger.

“You never can tell. But I can definitely see this thing going somewhere. Maybe. Someday.”

“Like today, maybe?” Tripp said with a grin. He slid down and lay on his back, scooting over so his side was pressed against Ben, and smiled up at him. “We’re in a bed, you know.”

“I know,” Ben said, grinning down at him. “I noticed that. My bed.”

“Now that I’m here, you’re going to have a hard time getting me out,” Tripp told him.

“I’ll remember that,” Ben said, leaning over and kissing Tripp’s forehead. “If I ever want to get you out.” He rubbed his nose in the soft hair falling over Tripp’s forehead. He smelled like Axe, and sweat and beer. For some crazy reason it was a huge turn on. He rolled over on top of Tripp and let out a rumble of pleasure at how good he felt.

“If I work this right,” Tripp whispered, kissing Ben’s neck, “you won’t ever want me to leave.”

“I’m pretty sure even if you work this wrong I won’t,” Ben told him honestly. “You feel so damn good beneath me.”

“Do I?” Tripp asked. He ran his hands up and down Ben’s bare back and then squeezed his ass, making Ben grind into him. “Well, you feel amazing.”

“Do you remember what you asked me last night?” Ben murmured, kissing the corner of Tripp’s mouth.

“To marry me?” Tripp asked, and Ben’s heart stopped for a second.

“No,” he choked out. “You didn’t ask me that.”

“Hmm,” Tripp said, biting Ben’s jaw. “I’ll put it on the list.”

“What else is on the list?” Ben asked. He lightly kissed Tripp on the mouth, teasing him.

Tripp hesitated, meeting his eyes. “To make love?” he finally asked, blushing.

“I believe you phrased it differently,” Ben said, smiling. “Your exact words were more like do you want to fuck.”

Tripp closed his eyes and swallowed. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“Do you remember my answer?” Ben asked, knowing Tripp had no memory of it. Tripp shook his head, still not looking at Ben. “I said last night wasn’t the right time.”

Tripp opened one eye and then the other. “It wasn’t?” he asked.

“Nope,” Ben said.

He kissed Tripp again, this time letting his desire for Tripp loose, tugging Tripp’s lip between his teeth until Tripp opened his mouth and let Ben in. He tasted like Cheerwine, and warm, sexy Tripp. Maybe that was why he loved that damn sweet cherry pop so much—because it reminded him of Tripp. It would always remind him of Tripp.

Tripp’s arms and legs wrapped around him, holding him tight as Tripp moaned into the kiss, letting Ben do what he wanted. Ben loved the slick heat of Tripp’s mouth, his slightly crooked right front tooth, the way he liked to slide the flat of his tongue against Ben’s.

Finally he pulled away from the addictive kiss. “Ask me again,” he told Tripp.

“Want to fuck?” Tripp asked breathlessly.

“Yep,” Ben said, and Tripp laughed with obvious delight.