Children of a New Earth (6 page)

“Leukemia,” she said.

Still looking away, he nodded.

“How long?” she demanded, wide-eyed.

“A while.”

“Why didn’t you say something? Did you even go to the doctor?” William Pritchard had served as a medic in the Army before the collapse. He was the closest thing they had to a doctor, and after thirty years, everyone had forgotten the difference.

“Nothing anyone can do,” he muttered.

“You still could have said something.”

“You worry enough as it is. It can’t be changed.”

Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Damn it, you could have said something anyway.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he repeated.

After a long time, she sat down at the table opposite him. She couldn’t meet his gaze, not yet. She thought of the others, her mom for one. It was always the same with radiation-induced leukemia: the bad colds that just got worse, the nosebleeds, then bleeding elsewhere, and finally death. There was no cure. Even before the collapse, there had been no cure.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Just you.”

“What about Jacob?”

“He’d have to take me anyway.”

“Damn it! This trip could kill you!”

“I’m dying anyway. The ranch needs me.”

Amy felt anger rising inside her.
The damn bastards, they don’t deserve loyalty like that. They certainly wouldn’t repay it. What right do they have to take Dad’s last days?
She wanted him here and safe, not out there in god-knew-what sort of danger. Their precious supplies could go rot.

She looked at her father and bit back her tongue. She couldn’t voice what she was feeling; it would only hurt him. Besides, he knew how she felt.

She could only guess at his motives. Her father had a philosophy that was at once naïve and practical. He did what he did because he was the only one able to do it. Whether those who benefited from his labor were good or bad, appreciative or hostile, didn’t even enter his mind.

“Harder! Again!” Isaiah barked.

“Yes sir!” Shawn barked back, leaping to his feet and striking out at Patrick. Patrick dodged the strike easily, and they continued to spar.

Isaiah nodded before returning to stalking the practice field. Everyone was training in earnest now. Luke was drilling Kurt in takedowns. Daniel was holding Bobby O’Malley off with a vigor he had never shown before. Now that several of them were going into action, everyone was taking their training serious.

If it weren’t for my knee, I might be going as well
, Isaiah grimaced. That couldn’t be helped, but he was bound and determined that anything that went wrong would not be due to lack of preparation on his part. He was pushing them harder than ever and planned on continuing until the day they left.

His afternoon did not look so cheery. Jacob had asked him to give a refresher course for the older men.
Refresher course, my ass
. It had been twenty-eight years since the last military contact. With the exception of Jacob, himself, and Amos, no one attended the regular training sessions. Trying to get them all back up to speed in one week was not going to be easy.

Luke punched Kurt. Kurt sidestepped and swept Luke’s leg. He was definitely better. He hesitated less. But he was still a long way from where Luke would trust him to be able to do it in combat.

Luke was just glad that he had worked up the courage to talk to Isaiah. He didn’t want to question the arms master’s strategy, but Kurt was going to be a serious weak link on this mission.

Kurt was just too small and weak to ever excel at Special Forces hand-to-hand combat drills. Luke had found a book in the ranch library,
Judo for Self-Defense
. He and his brother had been experimenting with it for much of last winter. He had talked Isaiah into letting him work with Kurt one on one, teaching him takedowns and throws.

“Do you think we will have to fight?” Kurt asked as he helped Luke to his feet.

“Honestly, no,” Luke said. “But we have to be prepared. Really I don’t think it’s likely we will find much. Some ruins where we can scavenge what we need and be back.”

“That’s a relief,” Kurt said. He never questioned Luke’s knowledge in any matter. “That’s one less thing to worry about.”

“What else is there to worry about?” Luke asked as he closed in again. Kurt swept him to the ground.

“My dad’s been going on about the end of the world again,” Kurt muttered, embarrassed. It was generally believed that his father was slightly off his rocker. During the collapse, he had sincerely believed the end of the world was at hand (Luke knew this to have been a fairly common belief back then). He thought of the ranch as good Christians fighting the Anti-Christ.

When the world did not end, James Derry had been disappointed. He had expressed many times since that he feared the ranch had been found wanting. When drunk or in moments of deep despair, he declared loudly that the world
had
ended and that they were all in hell and just didn’t know it. Luke shook his head.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure we will find the world outside the valley,” he said. 

Kurt gave a sheepish grin and nodded. “You excited?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Luke replied. He could barely contain his excitement. The only thing that marred it was Amy. He understood her being upset, but she had barely talked to him since the news had come out. They didn’t have much time left together. Why couldn’t she forget about herself for once?

“I’m scared,” Kurt admitted, “but under that, I am excited too. Whatever is out there, it can’t be worse than here, can it?”

The thought startled Luke. He had never thought about it like that. He took the ranch for granted. It just was; there was no other possibility. For Kurt, a scrawny boy with a half-crazed father, always picked on by Patrick, Shawn and the O’Malley boys, it must indeed be hell.

“Well, I think that should work,” Marlin puffed as he hoisted the pump. “You want to hook her up?” He gently lowered the pump into a bucket of water while Amy went to attach the wires.

Since she had discovered his condition, Amy was noticing all sorts of things. He held the pump steady with one hand, but his face showed a slight strain. That would be unremarkable in anyone else, as the pump weighed some thirty pounds. Her dad, however, was something of a legend at the ranch for his strength. He had been relieved of most of the farming and gardening duties because he was too hard on tools. Several of the stronger men had snapped spade handles working in the rocky soil of the valley. Marlin had snapped a blade.

She attached the wires, and the pump rumbled to life. Water shot out of its top. Amy shared a relieved look with her father. “Well, that’s one thing you won’t have to worry about while I’m gone,” he said as she killed the connection. “We’ll get Luke to help us put it back down later today.”

He wiped at his face, which was bright red. “I’ll take it up to the pump house,” she said, “you head home. Elisabeth will probably have lunch done by now.”

Marlin gave her a pained look. “Probably chicken noodle soup again,” he muttered. Amy returned a stern look.

She didn’t care what he did or did not tell Jacob, Amos, or any of the others. Elisabeth was another matter. She would not let him leave without telling her the truth about his condition. He hadn’t wanted to, but Amy hadn’t given up.

Elisabeth had taken to following her father around fearfully, constantly offering him chicory coffee and chicken soup, like these small comforts could keep leukemia at bay. Marlin tried his best not show how the extra attention bothered him. He kept busy packing and repacking tools and going over the ever-growing list of things the ranch could use.

“Amy!” 

Amy was halfway back to her house when her sister’s cry interrupted her thoughts. She ran the rest of the distance in moments.

Her sister was out in front of their house, bending over her dad. He was on his knees, struggling to rise. His face was white behind the dark beard. His beard and lips were specked with red, and he struggled to breath.

“He just started coughing and went all weak,” Elisabeth said. “I saw him go down, and I ran out here.”

“Let’s get him inside,” Amy said after a moment’s deliberation. Marlin nodded his agreement. With one daughter under each arm, they helped him to his feet. Amy was shocked at how easy it was. She had always thought of him as a burly man, but the thin body under his overalls showed just how sick he was.

They got him inside and propped him up in his bed. Elisabeth brought him some warm broth. “Dr. Pritchard?” she asked.

Marlin started to shake his head no and began coughing again. 

“Yes,” Amy said firmly.

Jacob came by later that afternoon. Dr. Pritchard had come to see Marlin and given him some herbs, mainly mint for his breathing. He had spoken quietly to Amy and Elisabeth in the kitchen. He left them a small bottle of valerian root tincture. It would ease Marlin’s pain. There was nothing else that could be done.

The herbs helped, and Marlin was sitting propped up in bed fingering the list he had made Amy bring him. Jacob sat stiffly at his bedside. Amy sat in the hall and listened.

“I’m sorry,” Marlin said as soon as Jacob entered.

“Good God, man,” Jacob replied. “You’re not the one who should be sorry, after all you have done for us. If there’s anything we can do . . .”

“There’s not,” Marlin muttered.

“I know,” Jacob sighed. “And, unfortunately, this couldn’t have come at a worse time.”

“Give me a few days,” Marlin breathed.

Damn him,
Amy thought angrily.
A few days and he’ll be
. . . she broke off, not even wanting to think it.
He’ll never be in shape to go,
she finished to herself.

Jacob apparently had the same thought. “Not a chance, Marlin. Sorry, but we have no time for pleasant lies. You won’t be out of this bed this summer, if ever.”

“I’m sorry,” Marlin said even quieter.

“It’s nobody’s fault. We will do what we have always done. We’ll make do. You give me the list, and we’ll do what we can.”

“That’ll never work. You need someone who knows the stuff.”

“I’m sure whoever we find to bargain with will be able to handle that.”

“What about scavenging? I thought we were going to avoid contact if possible.”

“So I had hoped,” Jacob said. “But plans change.”

Marlin shook him off. “No matter. You still need someone who knows the stuff. Even if we find friendly people, we may still have to scavenge. Besides, they may not have what we want, but something else that will work. Someone on the mission needs to know the technology well enough to make a judgment call.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Jacob shot back. There was a pause while he took a deep breath. “I know this will make my mission hard, maybe impossible. But you are too sick, and that’s that. There is no way you can come.”

“And you know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Marlin snarled. There was the sound of rustling as he tried to rise. He started coughing and fell back. There was a long uncomfortable pause as he fought to catch his breath. “I taught her everything I know,” he said, his voice husky.

Amy went cold as she realized what he was talking about.
Me? On the mission?
Ever since the mission was proposed, she thought about the men leaving the valley and her behind. She imagined working alone in the garage, she and Elisabeth alone in this house, watching out the window for their father to return. She even thought of herself sitting alone in the evenings missing Luke’s company. Never once did she think of
going
on the mission.

“This is a military mission,” Jacob shouted, slapping his hand on the bedside table for emphasis. “It is no place for a little girl.”

Amy bristled. She had dark thoughts of bursting in and yelling at Jacob. Her father beat her to it. “Don’t you think I know it’s dangerous? Don’t you think I would do anything to spare her? Don’t you think I have prayed every night for the strength to last long enough?” Marlin broke off as he went into another coughing spell. 

“Of course, of course,” Jacob said.

Amy didn’t hear much for a while after that. Her mind was spinning. Now she understood why her father had tried so hard to hide his illness. She was ashamed of his goodness, his self-sacrifice.

Why had it never occurred to her? It was so obvious, once she thought about it. Luke and Daniel had worked out as much weeks ago. They knew their fathers were no longer able to leave the ranch for an extended mission. They were too old, or they had too many responsibilities. This mission would belong to the next generation, and they had few enough of them to spare.

“I can’t approve of this, Marlin,” Jacob continued when Marlin had recovered somewhat. “The risks, the resources we would have to use to keep a woman safe out there . . .”

Marlin controlled his anger better after that. He knew as well as Amy how these people felt about women in general, and Amy specifically. He never fought it head on, the way Amy always did. He let Jacob argue. He did not refute a single point. In the end, it made no difference. They had no other choice.

Amy looked down as she heard Jacob rise to go. The knitting she was supposedly doing in the hall had not grown any longer the whole time she had listened. It was a hopeless mess anyway. She never seemed quite able to get it right. Everything came out lopsided.

The door opened, and Jacob came out. He sank down on a bench opposite Amy. “I’m sorry about your dad,” he said. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t change my mission. I have a ranch to save. I guess I’ll be needing you to come with us. I know, I know,” he said to the protest that never came, “there will be risks. A woman . . . well, we will do our absolute best to take care of you, see that you come to no harm. Marlin says he can fill you in on what he needs and all that.”

Amy stared at him, fighting the anger. He never asked her, for one thing. Then he implied that she would be too scared to go, that they would have to take care of her. Finally he implied that she didn’t know what they needed, that she’d have to ask her father. Hell, she’d done most of the work on that damn list.