Chili Con Corpses (18 page)

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Authors: J. B. Stanley

Tags: #midnight ink mystery fiction carbs cadavers

BOOK: Chili Con Corpses
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“Meaty Treats!” Lucy laughed. “You’re making that up, right?”

“Right. Now, Gary sees the order for ten thousand shares and thinks the purchase will drive up the price of Meaty Treats stock. So he buys a bunch of stock at the current price, executes the order for the ten thousand, and then sells his shares at the higher price. He makes a lot of money in just a few minutes.”

“How much money?”

James shrugged. “Could be thousands every time.”

“But he got caught and then fired because of this front running.”

“Apparently,” James continued in a voice laced with sarcasm, “he was fired and then magically appeared in Quincy’s Gap to stand by Kinsley in her time of need. How touching.”

“Doesn’t hurt that Kinsley’s worth millions, either.” Lucy was angry. “We’ve got to tell her, James! That poor woman has been through enough pain. I’m not going to let some greedy, cheating, lying, pig scum cause her any more grief!”

“That’s the Lucy I know and love,” James said fondly and then, watching Lucy’s eyes alight with happiness, realized that he had chosen the wrong words in which to compliment his friend’s loyalty and desire to see justice done. He made a big show of examining the time on the wall clock over Lucy’s head. “Uh, guess we’d better part ways for now. I’ll see you at Lindy’s. I know she wanted to meet up and share information before the other guests arrive. What time are we supposed to be there?” he asked, even though he knew the answer.

“She wants us all there at eight—including Murphy, who seems to have become an unofficial supper club member,” Lucy said with a trace of acerbity.

James didn’t reply and he couldn’t move, as he was trapped between Lucy and the far wall of his office. “Are you dressing up, since you’re the guest of honor?” he inquired, hoping to stir her into action by addressing her vanity.

Lucy wore an enigmatic expression as she stood. “I sure am. You won’t believe your eyes tonight, James.”

Following her to the door, James had a feeling that Lucy was absolutely correct, and that many unpredictable and eye-opening things might occur at Lindy’s party.

Murphy called James
to tell him she was running late and he should head over to the party without her. He arrived at Lindy’s small bungalow ten minutes early and was delighted by the sight of her outdoor decorations. In lieu of white or multicolored Christmas lights, Lindy had strung the straggly azalea bushes flanking her front door with dozens of glowing chili peppers.

Lindy opened the door, kissed him hello, and thrust a paper hat into his hand. “It’s a dress code requirement, Professor.” She grinned and gestured to her own fuchsia tiara bearing the words
Happy New Year
in silver glitter. “Unless you want one of these.”

James popped the weightless lime-green cone on his head, admiring how sharp Lindy looked in a silver blouse, large silver hoop earrings, and a flowing black skirt made of some kind of shimmering fabric. “No thanks, I’ll settle for the annoyance of having a string irritating the underside of my chin all night. By the way, you look fantastic, Lindy. Luis Chavez doesn’t stand a chance.”

“I’ll drink to that! Can I get you some fiesta punch?” she asked, leading James into the kitchen. She dunked a soup ladle into an enormous ceramic bowl and filled a hot-pink plastic tumbler to the brim with pale red liquid.

“What are we drinking this evening?” he wondered as he took in the other decorations. Lindy had strung a group of red, yellow, pink, and lime-green balloons across the doorways leading into her kitchen and living room. A piñata shaped like the children’s cartoon character Dora the Explorer dangled down from an eyehook at one end of the living room ceiling while a disco ball hung from the other. Rainbow-colored streamers were strung across all the light fixtures in each of the four downstairs rooms. Small tables covered with striped plastic cloths were arranged throughout the living room and a range of delicious smells were emanating from Lindy’s oven and stovetop.

“It’s champagne and cranberry juice,” Lindy answered James’s question. “Very refreshing, isn’t it? Oh, there’s the doorbell.” She grabbed some hats and tiaras and hustled to greet Gillian and Bennett, who both gushed over the transformation of Lindy’s house.

“The colors are simply
pulsing
with life and spirit!” Gillian shouted brightly. “I can just
feel
the renewal that a new year brings!”

Bennett mumbled something in agreement and then said, “What’s with the kid piñata?”

“She’s a Spanish-speaking cartoon,” Lindy replied, directing her new guests into the kitchen where James was already ladling two glasses of fiesta punch into pink tumblers. “This is a Spanish-themed party, remember?”

“Hello?” Lucy’s voice called out from the front door. “Can I come on in?”

“Oh!” Lindy marched into the hall and exclaimed “Oh!” again.

When Lucy joined them in the kitchen, James could see why Lindy had been at a loss for words. While Gillian’s outfit was typically eccentric in that she wore an electric orange poncho stitched with green llamas over a gold lamé tank dress, Lucy was wearing a purple ruffled dress that could have been featured in
Sixteen Candles
or a Bangles video.

“What’s with the eighties getup?” Bennett queried and turned to Lindy. “Were we supposed to dress in some kind of special way tonight?”

“No,” Lucy quickly answered and then fluffed a tier of absurd ruffles. “This was the dress I wore to my senior prom. My
high school
prom. See? It fits again!”

All four of her friends examined her figure as she pivoted in a circle. There was no doubt that Lucy looked terrific and had toned her body into far better condition than it had been in during the previous New Year’s Eve, but she was still a bit voluptuous to be wearing this particular style of dress.

“I figured since I was the guest of honor,” Lucy continued, yanking at the hem of the dress, which was riding up both of her thighs, “I should break out something I wore when I was in good shape.”

James tore his eyes from the row of wrinkled fabric across her hips and around her waist where the dress was clearly too tight. “You look great,” he assured her kindly, and she beamed in response.

“A toast to our future deputy!” Lindy hailed her friend while raising her glass. After they drank, Lindy gestured toward the living room. “Let’s get talking before the others get here. I’ve got some tapas for us to enjoy while we’re trying to unravel Parker’s mystery.”

As they settled themselves in the next room, the doorbell rang again and Lindy ushered Murphy inside after handing her a yellow tiara. “Help yourself to some punch in the kitchen and then come join us. We’re about to share our latest findings.”

“Good,” Murphy said. “I have a feeling that this is our last shot to figure things out.”

“Why?” Lindy wondered in concern. “No, never mind. I’ll find out when you tell everyone else.”

Murphy entered the living room with a glass of punch and a dazzling smile. James locked eyes with her and tried not to let his gaze wander all over her body, which looked incredibly sexy in a pair of off-white suede pants and a tight, black top with a low neckline. She wore high-heeled black boots and a wide belt with silver studs. Like Lindy, she had also added a pair of saucy hoop earrings to her ensemble.

After exchanging kisses on the cheek with the supper club members, Murphy took a seat in a folding chair next to where James was perched on the end of the couch. With Lucy on his other side, he found himself wishing that he had sat in the leather chair next to the television, but Bennett had claimed it first.

“Let me hand out some snacks while I tell you what I figured out, which isn’t much,” Lindy said as she began to place an assortment of finger food on paper plates. “I’ve been racking my brains over how someone could have learned Adam Sneed’s name, that he was a student in one of my art classes, and that all of my students were taking a field trip to Luray Caverns.”

“I don’t mean to disturb your train of thought,” Gillian interrupted, “but these mushrooms are absolutely
inspired
.”

“Thanks. Milla gave me a bunch of recipes for tonight.” Lindy grinned. “Anyway, I realized, after rereading my daily planner, that the school had hosted Parents’ Night a week before the field trip. My students were showcasing their work, and I was begging for chaperone volunteers at the time. Any Tom, Dick, or Harry could have learned Adam’s name and all the details about the trip that night. I handed out fliers to everyone I could. And I saw so many people that night—parents, grandparents, third cousins once removed—the killer could have been there in disguise and I would never have known.”

“Nothing about the fake Mr. Sneed looked familiar to you when you saw him at Johnny Appleseed’s?” Lucy asked. Lindy shook her head no.

“I’ll go next,” Gillian volunteered. “I dragged poor Bennett with me to get Dalai Lama’s teeth cleaned, which my sweet darling did not enjoy in the least, the poor soul.”

“Him or me either,” Bennett grumbled. “I had to sneak into Dwight’s office while Gillian drank tea and ate cookies behind the front desk. And I was out of sight for so long that Gillian told June I had diarrhea and was locked in the men’s room!”

Gillian smirked. “Well, I had to think of something. June was
very
sympathetic, too. She offered to brew Bennett some wild blackberry tea to assist with his
healing
, but he insisted on leaving as soon as he was done investigating. Rushing about is so
stressful
on the bowels, Bennett.”

“Can we keep in mind that I didn’t actually
have
diarrhea, Gillian?” Bennett fumed.

“June also told me that the reason Dwight moved to our gloriously beautiful part of the country was that Parker was one of a very small group of veterinarians practicing animal dental cleanings without the use of anesthesia. Dwight wanted to be trained by such an avant-garde thinker and, indeed, Parker taught him all she knew.” Gillian sighed. “June is very impressed with how Dwight learned to look an animal in the eye, speak to it in calm and gentle tones, and calm its fears.”

Bennett rolled his eyes. “Anyway, while those two nut jobs gabbed away about kitty dentistry and whether fruit flies have a soul, I learned that Dwight went to Princeton. That’s curious because it’s the school where Gary went, too.”

Murphy leaned forward in her chair. “Did you follow that trail? Did you call Princeton?”


First
, we waited for the moment to feel right,” Gillian stated while fluffing her hair, which was dusted with some sort of glitter. “We needed a very lucky time of day, so we phoned the Alumni Office just before sundown. Bennett pretended to be calling on behalf of the Luray Post Office. He said that a postal box belonging to Dwight Hutchins had just been switched over to a Mr. Gary Lowe and wanted to know which one should be receiving the Princeton alumni mail. Once Bennett was told the two men graduated the same year
and
both belonged to the same fraternity, we felt that there was just too much coincidence in this picture.”

The group fell silent. “It’s clear to see how Dwight benefits from Parker’s death,” Murphy finally said. “He has full control of a successful practice now.”

“What does Gary gain?” James wondered aloud. “Is he planning to help Dwight with his future investments or is he up to something more devious?”

“Devious?” Lindy was bewildered until James explained the discovery he and Lucy had made about the former stockbroker.

“Deceit can cloud much
deeper psychological issues
,” Gillian breathed and then shuddered.

Lucy absently pulled a piece of chicken from a kebab and plopped it in her mouth. “There’s more,” she said when he was finished chewing. She told the group about the burglary of Colin’s office.

“That’s where my story enters the picture.” Murphy waved a kebab at Lindy. “These are almost savory enough to distract me from what I have to share, but it’s not much of a tale. As soon as I heard about the burglary from a friend of mine at
The Harrisonburg Herald
, I met up with Colin at his office where he was going over everything that had been taken. He’s really concerned about the missing ampoules of Wildnil. He and the local law enforcement officials think some kids or even some crazy hunters plan on using the drugs to go after hibernating black bears.”

Gillian leapt to her feet. “That would be monstrous!”

“Well, I’m not convinced their logic is correct,” Murphy told Gillian in a soothing tone. “It seems odd that this burglary occurred at the same time Gary showed up in Virginia.”

James tried to absorb all of the information he had heard thus far. Suddenly, he remembered an important detail. He turned to Murphy. “Did you ask Colin about his lack of action at Ramsay’s farm?”

She nodded. “He said he thought the calf was already dead and was upset because he couldn’t do anything about it.”

“That sounds like a pile of crap if you ask me,” Bennett remarked. “I’m going in for more punch. Helps me wrap my mind around all of this. Who wants some?”

As Bennett refilled glasses, Murphy finished her narrative. “I have to admit that I wasn’t sure if I believed him, either. It’s hard to get below that suave surface level and catch a glimpse of the real Colin Crabtree.”

“Perhaps he’s a skilled actor …” Lindy let her thought hang in the air.

“But what’s
his
motive?” Lucy broke the spell. “Dwight’s the only one with a clear motive as of this point. Add in opportunity and I’d say he’s looking more and more like our guy.”

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