Choice Theory (49 page)

pain of, 39

preschoolers, quality world of, 58–59

present, the, 121

as emphasis of reality therapy, 116–17, 130, 167–69, 220–21, 231–32

prevention, 13

problem solving, 244–48

nonmath vs. math, 247–48

Procter and Gamble, 263

proficiency testing, 280–82

progress, technical vs. human, 8–10

Prozac, 4, 70, 87–88

psychology, traditional, failure of, 5

psychosis, 135, 136, 146–49, 153–54, 193

bipolar (manic–depressive), in, 136, 154

psychosomatic diseases, 79, 84

creativity and, 137–59

psychotherapy, 62–63

drugs and, 88

the workless in, 110–11

punishment, 5–8, 13, 16, 21, 50,55,61

education and, 237, 238, 241, 249, 250–51, 253, 257

holding back love as, 97

in parent–child relationship, 7–8, 19, 20, 59, 60, 196, 200, 207, 208, 212

put–downs, 29, 30, 52, 106, 173, 187

quality, defined, 236

quality community, 254, 309–31

history of vision of, 314–18

implementation phase of,330–31

initial steps in creation of,325–28

picturing of, 318–25

readers’ groups and, 328–29

Quality School, The
(Glasser), 235, 269, 270

Quality School Consortium, 254

quality schools, 234–37, 239, 247, 154–55, 159–80

competence and testing in, 273–80

criteria for, 282

Quality School Specialist Program, 2–55

Quality School Teacher, The
(Glasser), 234, 269

quality world, 44–61, 113

community and, 60–61

defined, 45

ideal relationship in, 102

ideas for belief systems in, 45,54–55, 57

love and, 163, 164

people in, 45–60, 68,
69,
71, 74, 102–5, 148, 150–51, 163, 169, 182, 192–94, 198, m, 236, 245, 248, 257

self–idealization in, 53

sharing of, 164

things in, 45, 54, 57, 239, 243, 249, 250, 256, 257

two opposing pictures in,
see
conflict
Quality World Activity Set, The,
209n

Rain Man
(movie), 92

rational emotive behavior therapy, 10

readers’ groups, 328–29

reality:defined, 44, 46–48

dreams and, 135

learning to deal with, 59

of men vs. women, 167

of workless person, 109, inreality therapy, 62–88

case studies of, 62–76, 80–83, 85–88, 115–3*, 148–53, 156–57. 165–74, 182–90, 197–206, 221–31

conflict and, 114–33

defined, 62

marriage counseling in, 179–90

total behavior and,
see
totalbehaviortraditional counseling comparedwith, 116–17

rejection, 49, 83, 84, 164, 211, 2.31

religion, 6

quality world and, 45, 47, 54

remarriage, 34, 69–70, 93, 101

resentment, 52

responsibility, teaching, 212, 213

retirement, 42, 90–91

rewards, 5–6, 16, 21, 41, 208

Ritalin, 257

schizophrenia, 136, 147–49

schooling, 237–47, 249, 251–52, 255, 257, 260, 262, 274

calculation vs. math in, 242–47

defined, 237

schools,
see
education; students;teachers; teacher–studentrelationship
Schools Without Failure
(Glasser), 270

Schwab Middle School, 259–71, 177, 314, 318

science, 243, 247

serotonin, 87

sex, 60, 187

of adults abused as children, 221–25, 228–29

children and, 196, 205, 206, 216

long–term, 175–76

love and, 33–36, 163

love vs., 97, 102, 103

power and, 35

premarital, 165, 166, 167

quality world and, 48, 49

strength of the needs and, 97, 102, 103, 105

survival and, 31–32, 35

unloving, 7, 22, 29, 49, 239, 2–45

sexual abuse, 218, 219

case study of, 221–31

sexual aids, 176

Shakespeare, William, 135–36, 240–41, 245

Shine
(movie), 193–94

signals, in control psychology, 16–17

Simpson, Wallis Warfield, 35

smoking, 84–85

sociopath, 106–9, 112, 113

workless person compared with, 108, 109

solving circle, 42, 94–106, 173–74, 175, 177

child–parent, 210, 218

in marriage counseling, 181–82, 187–90

premarital, 100–101

in workplace, 303–5

Southwest Airlines, 11, 289
Staying Together
(Glasser), 190

strangers, 15, 309

stress, 84, 95, 197–98

students, 234–82

failing, 38, 237,
2.39–41,
259

learning disabled, 255–59, 271

motivation of, 12, 14, 241

overage, 264–65

at Pittsburgh conference, 234–35, 248–49

quality world of, 49–50, 55–56, 239, 243, 245, 248–51, 257

at Schwab Middle School, 259–68

Stacys, 248–55, 258, 259

see also
teacher–student relation–Shipsuffering:control over, 4, 29, 77

control psychology and, 7

power and, 40

see also
misery; painsuicide, 32, 34, 53–54, 69, 81, 147

survival, 25–33,43, 231

crying and, 25–26

quality world and, 48, 56–57

sex and, 48, 49

strength of need for, 94, 95–96,98, 101, 102, 106, 108

system, the, 12

systems approach to counseling, 12

Take Effective Control of Your
Life
(Glasser), 140–41

taxes, 287, 288

teachers, 6, 9, 23, 25, 131, 194, 134–43, 159–76

power of, 38

at Schwab Middle School, 259–68

teacher’s assistants (TAs), 277–78

teacher–student relations, 10, 12,50

computers and, 55–56

quality world and, 49–50,55–56, 59

role–play of, 239–41

school success and, 21–22

Stacys and, 248–55

technical vs. human progress, 8–10

teenagers, 198–206, 209

love needed by, 217–18

power of, 38, 60

quality world of, 55–56, 60

Ten–Step Discipline Program, 269

testing, 273–82

proficiency, 280–82

in quality schools, 273–80

thinking, 4, 129, 239

creativity and, 135–36

dreams as, 135

ownership, 15, 41, 52–53, 103

in total behavior, 72–76, 79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 135, 146

TLC (total learning competency), 273–80

toddlers, quality world of, 58

total behavior, 72–88, 145

activity in, 72–76, 78–79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 146

creativity in, 135–36

defined, 72–73

dreams as, 134

feeling in, 71–73, 76, 78, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 146

physiology in, 72–76, 80, 83–85

thinking in, 72–76, 79, 80, 83, 85, 87, 121, 135, 146

trust, 52, 64, 103, 191–233

child rearing and, 195–218

dealing with child abuse and, 218–33

establishing, 211, 213

inability to, 116–17, 220, 223, 236

rebuilding, 212

tutoring, 261–62, 266

unhappiness,
see
misery; pain; sufferingvan Gogh

Vincent, 135–36

Van Vleet, Marjorie, 312

Ventura School for Girls, 314–19

Vietnam war, 55

violence, 7, 22, 49, 194, 239, 245

violence
(cont.)
depression as alternative to, 80–81

in marriage, 6–7, 52, 89, 177–79. 310–11

of sociopath, 107

of Stacys, 252, 253

survival and, 32–33

vitamin C, 142

vocational schools, 252–53

Wadsworth VeteransAdministration Hospital, 142–44

Waller, James, 118n, 151–52

wars, 55

withdrawal, 173

women:abuse of, 6–7, 52, 98, 177–79, 221–31

domineering, 89–91

male hatred of, 49

power and, 35

workless, 108

see also
mother(s)work, workplace, 11, 283–305

boss management and, 284–89, 292–96

high–quality, 10–11

lead management and, 289–92,303–5

obstruction and, 292–96

performance reviews vs. solvingcircles in, 302–5

see also
bosses; jobsworker–manager relations, 9, II, 12.

worker’s compensation, 296–302

workless, the, 107–13

psychotics compared with, 153

W
HEN
I
GOT STARTED
on the wrong track, Bob Sullo did a lot of thinking and helped me straighten out. I probably would have gotten there eventually, but I appreciate very much what he did. His book,
Inspiring Quality in Your School
(NEA Professional Library, 1997), discusses how a lot of choice theory is put to practical use in a school.

Bob Wubbolding, a colleague of twenty-five years, made some good suggestions throughout. His expertise is reality therapy, and he is in the process of writing a new book,
Reality Therapy for the 21st Century.
Among the things he’ll do in this book is answer all the people who question whether there is a research base for this therapy. There is.

Kay Mentley, mentioned in depth in chapter 10, is the principal of the first quality elementary school, Huntington Woods, that is choice theory from floor to ceiling. Put together every fantasy about what a school should be; Kay and her staff have brought them to life. Her book,
Quality Is the Key: Stories from Huntington Woods,
is available from the William Glasser Institute.
Linda Harshman, the director of the William Glasser Institute, made it possible for me to have the time to write this book. She is a lead manager; talk to any of our staff and you will quickly see why. To me, she is indispensable.

If you found that the book reads easily and clearly, I thank Cynthia Merman, my editor. When I sent her the manuscript, I said, “Work your magic.” She did.

Brian Lennon, from Skerries near Dublin, Ireland, gave me the support I needed when my editor faxed me while I was in Slovenia to tell me that the book was great, but that it needed a new subtitle. He helped to steer me in the right direction, but my many Slovenian and Croatian colleagues also did their part. When we asked, “What does choice theory mean to you?” they said, “Freedom.” Recently at a conference in Acapulco, I had the pleasure of meeting a caring brain researcher, S. Paul Rossby, who presented a paper on the neurophysiology of violence. When my wife and I talked to him afterward, tears came to his eyes when we told him we believe that violence is not irreversibly imprinted into the brains of many young people who seem so callous and hard to reach. With caring and choice theory, their violence can be reversed. We look forward to sharing ideas with him again.

If you want to reach any of these people for any reason, and they are well worth reaching, contact the William Glasser Institute for their addresses. They helped me, and I’m sure they would not hesitate to help you.

I have to stop here. If I went on, I might not be able to stop short of the hundreds of people teaching choice theory who are joining me in the task of driving the plague of external control psychology from the Earth.

Books by William Glasser:

WARNING: PSYCHIATRY CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Glasser describes how psychopharmacology has usurped the role of psychotherapy in our society, explains the wide implications of this radical change, and details what can be done to counter it.

FOR PARENTS AND TEENAGERS:
Dissolving the Barrier Between You and Your Teen

Glasser shows how parents can strengthen their relationships with their children by listening to their points of view and admitting that they, as parents, might occasionally be mistaken.

CHOICE THEORY:
A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

In one of this century’s most significant books on psychology, Dr. Glasser offers a non-controlling psychology that gives us the freedom to sustain the relationships that lead to healthy, productive lives.

THE LANGUAGE OF CHOICE THEORY
•
WITH CARLEEN GLASSER

Using real-life conversations as examples, the left-hand page of this guide cites typical controlling orders or threats, while die right pages exhibits a more reasonable version, using choice theory.

CHOICE THEORY IN THE CLASSROOM

Glasser puts his successful choice theory to work in our schools—with a new approach to increasing student motivation.

REALITY THERAPY:
A New Approach to Psychiatry

Glasser explains his procedure, an alternative to Freudian psychoanalytic procedures, showing its merits over conventional treatment.

COUNSELING WITH CHOICE THEORY:
The New Reality Therapy

In this long-awaited continuation
of Reality Therapy,
Dr. Glasser takes readers into his consulting room and illustrates exactly how he puts his popular therapeutic theories into practice.

REALITY THERAPY IN ACTION

“In this age of managed
care …
reality therapy might be a better alternative to expensive psychiatric drugs.”
—
Library Journal

CONTROL THEORY IN THE PRACTICE OF REALITY THERAPY:
Case Studies
•
EDITED BY NAOMI GLASSER

A collection of case studies and examples of how Control Theory can translate into the practice of Reality Therapy.”

THE CONTROL THEORY MANAGER

Combining Control Theory with the wisdom of W. Edwards Deming, this indispensable management resource explains both what quality is and what lead-managers need to do to achieve it.

THE QUALITY SCHOOL:
Managing Students Without Coercion

An examination of coercive management as an educational problem.

THE QUALITY SCHOOL TEACHER:
A Companion Volume to The Quality School

How to establish warm, totally non-coercive relationships with students, teach only useful material, and promote student self-evaluation.