Choices (17 page)

“Is this where we’re staying?” she asked, swinging a leg over the saddle and dismounting. Logan followed suit, and led Bridger and the pack horse over to a tree to tie their reins. Abby brought Ellie over and tied her up, then walked over to a rock and sat down, stretching her legs out in front of her.

“Yeah, this is it. I have to get camp set up. There’s still another surprise later.”

She caught his eye and let her gaze drop down the long, lean length of him, her perusal brief but intense.

“That’s a surprise I think only time will spent waiting will enhance.” She purred, and Logan felt all the blood drain to his groin. She watched his eyes turn a smoldering gray, the color of smoke in an out of control fire.

“Keep up talk like that, and we’ll be sleeping on the cold ground tonight.”

Abby laughed, delighting in her effect on him. She just wasn’t used to having a man react to her the way Logan did. It made her feel powerful, super self-confidant, like she could accomplish anything she wanted.

“Are you gonna sit there laughing or come help me?” he asked, his face splitting in a wide grin. She bounced up off the rock, full of energy, even after the long ride.

“My, aren’t we testy.” She replied, dancing out of his reach when he grabbed for her. He laughed and chased after her, his long legs catching up with her and he caught her around the waist and swung her around, bringing his mouth down to hers in a hard kiss, intense passion and love driving the force of it. Abby moaned and leaned into him, feeling the frissons of fire that danced down her spine ignite in her lower belly. So much for thinking she wasn’t a passionate woman. His touch sparked maelstroms in her blood, heated her skin to a fever pitch. All coherent thought fled her mind and her focus dwindled to just him and nothing else.

Logan knew that if he lost control, which he was dangerously coming closer to doing, they really would end up sleeping on the cold ground. It was already late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to sink, but he couldn’t make himself stop. Every feeling, every emotion, he thought he didn’t possess took over when she was in
his arms, and it made him feel alive, as if he had just been moving through life as a ghost, and hers was the touch that brought him back to life.

This time Abby pulled back and broke the kiss, leaning back in the circle of his arms to gaze into his eyes. She could stare into them forever, it felt like. She reached up and ran her hand along his chiseled jaw, leaving trails of fire in its wake.

“I really don’t want to sleep on the cold ground.”

“Even with me as a blanket?” he grinned audaciously, but he stepped back, moving over to the pack horse to unpack the tent.

They set about erecting the tent, a large canvas guide tent, Abby realized, and setting up bedrolls and blankets, Logan assembling the small propane heater.

By the time they were done, dusk was falling rapidly and the temperature was dropping, but he still hadn’t lit a fire in the circle of stones that he used when he came up here by himself.

“Are you going to light a fire?” she asked, rubbing her arms. Just then, a single howl rose out of the gathering darkness, sending cold shivers skittering down her spine. She looked around at Logan and he was crouched down behind a large clump of sagebrush, motioning her over. She moved over to him and crouched down.

“Was that a wolf?” she asked in a whisper.

“That’s the other part of the surprise. I was hoping they would come out.” He whispered back, training his eyes to a section of the ridge that was lined with huge pines.

“I didn’t think there were wolves this far out of the park.” She whispered her excitement over-taking her fear.

“It’s a splinter pack. I noticed them about two weeks ago. I haven’t said anything to Ben about it, knowing how he feels about wolves, but they haven’t come down into the winter pastures, so I’m just going to let it lie for right now. There!” he whispered excitedly, pointing to the stand of pines. Abby followed his finger to where he was pointing, and at first didn’t see anything. She strained her eyes, struggling to bring anything into focus in the gathering gloom, and then noticed tentative movement in the trees. A pair of eyes was peering out from behind the pine closest to them. Abby could just make out the outline of a majestic head, lowered almost to the ground, as if scenting for danger, which was probably exactly what it was doing. Then with tentative steps, the wolf came out into the open and sat down, seemingly oblivious to the large white tent and three horses tied to a tree. He put his head back and howled, calling to his pack.

Abby caught the gasp that came to her throat so as not to make a noise when the rest of the pack came out into the open, moving wraithlike, and their long legs carrying them out of the trees. It was a small pack, only five, but their beauty rendered her speechless.

She and Logan crouched, not saying a word. They were upwind of the pack, thankfully, and didn’t do anything that would alert them to their presence.

The
alpha, the big male who had appeared first, lay down, and in the alpenglow of the evening, his little family played around him, jumping all over one another, and occasionally going to over to him, to lick his mouth and neck and whine submissively. A beautiful female, her coat gleaming silver in the light, came over to him and followed the same routine, then lay down next to him. Abby figured that was the Alpha female, the Alpha male’s mate for life.

It seemed to Abby that they crouched there for hours watching them, but the light had barely left the sky when the Alpha stood, gave his great body a shake, then gave another one of those haunting howls, the rest of the pack joining in. Then they bounded off back into the pines, their long legs carrying them away.

They crouched another moment, both of them excited in the knowledge that they had seen something that so few people in the world had seen.

“That was awesome.” Abby breathed. Logan just nodded.

“I know some wolf researchers who haven’t spent that much time among a pack. It’s not usual. They’re so wary of humans.”

“I was hoping you would like it.” Logan replied as he stood, stretching to work out the kinks in his legs. He had his arms over his head when Abby barreled into him, almost knocking him down. He laughed as her arms crossed his back in a fierce hug, and he brought his arms around her.

“What’s that for?” he asked, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“For thinking about me. For knowing it was something that I would love to see. For knowing that something so simple would mean more to me than anything you could ever buy me.” She rushed out in a torrent of emotion, her words muffled against his chest. Logan tightened his embrace, and said into her hair, “I didn’t do anything special Abby, just got to know you. Did he do that? Take the time to know you?” he asked, grimacing. She seemed so starved for affection sometimes, as if she had been dying of thirst and he was the first one to come along and offer her water.

She shook her head, bumping his chin.

“Well, that was his fault. I’m not him, Abby. I won’t ever be him. I won’t ever put you second in my life, not for anything.”

“That’s all I need to know.”

Logan got the fire going and cooked a simple stew in a pot hung over it. They ate, not talking, just watching each other in the light of the
flames. Abby couldn’t seem to take her eyes off him, feeling that if she did, he would disappear into the dark, fading away like a spectacular dream. She wondered again for what seemed like the hundredth time how someone she had known for so short a time could come to mean so much to her.

Later, they reclined together facing the fire, Logan with his back resting against a saddle and Abby leaned into his chest, sitting between his long legs. His arms were around her, and she had a hand on his chest, feeling his deep, even heartbeat through the fabric of his coat.

“I would be supremely happy just to stay here forever like this.” Abby said, content to just lie there and stare at the fire and feel him next to her. Logan kissed the top of her head. “We’d run out of food and then where’d we be?” he joked, and Abby slapped him playfully on his chest.

“What I meant was, everything is so peaceful and right now I don’t have to think about what lies ahead of me, and how I’m going to get through it.”

“I’ll be right there with you, every step of the way. You don’t have to worry.” He whispered fiercely, tightening his arms around her, as if that protection alone was enough. She sat up and turned toward him, searching his eyes. It seemed she could see her future there, in the smoky gray depths, and for a moment she believed that everything lying ahead of her would be painless. She knew it wouldn’t be, that the rebuilding of a broken life would be a long, hard road, but she knew Logan would be there for her, and that did make it all seem better.

“I know that you’ll be there for me, but what happens when I go back to Boston, close up the house, gather my things and what’s left of the life I have there?”

“I’ll go with you.” he said resolutely.

She gaped at him. She hadn’t expected that. “What about the ranch? What happens if I have to be there for a while?”

“Well, I do have Ben to run the ranch while we’re gone, he’s capable. And in this day and age of faxes, Internet, and those wonderful inventions called phones, I’m sure we’ll manage.”

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, but it must’ve been grand. You’re too good to be true.” She marveled.

Logan frowned, feeling uncomfortable. “No, that’s not being good, that’s being selfish. I don’t want to let you out of my sight. You might forget me back in Boston.”

Abby reached up and traced the frown line on his forehead, trying to smooth it away.

“Logan, I could never forget you.”

He reached for her hand and planted a soft kiss on her palm. Abby leaned back into him and stared into the fire, her thoughts turning to troubling matters. She needed to tell him she spoke to Steve, and although nothing much had been said, and she had stuck to her guns about relocating, it seemed so wrong that she had lied to him about it. She couldn’t just say, “Oh by the way, I had lied earlier about talking to Steve, ha-ha.
” He probably wouldn’t like that very much, would probably feel very hurt that she didn’t confide in him earlier. She could tell him tomorrow after they got back to the ranch that he had called while they were up here and she had returned his call, but that would just compound things, a lie on top of a lie.

“Abby, where do we go from here? After you
come back to Montana?” he spoke above her, a slight cautious note in his voice. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up now, he wanted to wait to ask her until after the dance tomorrow night, but this was as good a time as any. She didn’t answer for a bit, as if she were mulling it over, and he felt a frisson of fear skitter down his spine on icy legs. Maybe he had put his heart on the line for what she might see as a rebound. He didn’t think she would intentionally hurt him, she wasn’t that kind of person, but maybe she didn’t see this as lasting.

“I…well, I thought that maybe...” she stuttered, but he cut her off.

“Forget I said that. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. It doesn’t matter right now. You have a lot to go through still so, forget it.” He rushed out, not wanting to hear what she was going to say.

“I just...”

“No, don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it later. Let’s just enjoy the night, okay?” he asked, desperation creeping into his voice. He heard it, and tried to tamp it down. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t need her decision right now, could wait forever if need be, but he had waited so long to find what they had together that he couldn’t bear to wait to solidify their relationship, half scared that she would leave.

Abby wanted to tell him about her decision
; that she wanted to come back to the ranch and be with him, but Kassey’s words came back to her. Logan might not be content to just have her move in, he would probably want to get married, and as much as Abby loved him, she didn’t want to put that much control in someone else’s hands. She was sure he would love her as Steve never had, and do almost anything to make her happy, but there was that little gnawing doubt. What if she decided to pursue her dreams, and if they didn’t mesh with his opinions, he might resent her. The wolves for instance; there was a lot of bitter contention in the west among that subject and meetings with ranchers and environmentalists had gotten violent. It was something both groups took personally, deeply and wholeheartedly, and after seeing the pack tonight, Abby felt more resolved to fight to save them.

Truth be told, Logan was still an unknown to her. She knew she loved him, and no matter what happened, she probably always would, but the fact remained they had only known each other two weeks. Was that long enough to be sure that you wanted to legally bind yourself to someone? Abby wasn’t completely sure, and that was enough to make her cautious.

She knew for certain that she wanted to be with him, and shouldn’t that count for something?

Logan was mentally kicking himself. He should’ve let well enough alone and not brought it up. They were having a good time, here and now, and he had to ruin it. He should’ve just been patient. He needed to remember that she had just gotten through a divorc
e and probably wasn’t thinking beyond getting her life on track. He could wait; he had waited this long for her to come into his life. Whatever uncertainty he was feeling he could push aside. He was telling her the truth when he said he would go back to Boston with her, and support her, but the thought of seeing her around her familiar surroundings, people and places that he could never fit in with, was an ache that he couldn’t put aside. What if she saw her ex again and wanted to go back to him? He had been able to give her things that Logan couldn’t. Logan was wealthy in his own right, but a couple of bad years would make the ranch suffer, and they would struggle. Surgery never had bad years. Surgery always paid the big bucks.