Choices (New Beginnings #1) (12 page)

"I don't want to talk about it." She got up to leave.

"Ethan can take you places. He's a good young man, and I’ll be thoroughly disappointed if he's not my son in-law one day soon."

###

Their father's good mood lasted all day. He even had a long conversation with Chris. They both had a better understanding of each other than they ever did, thanks to her mom, so none of it was brought up. They didn't talk about everything that was said because both were men that shied away from uncomfortable situations. It was easier to pretend it hadn't happened.

Their mom must have gotten to their dad as well, because he acted like Chris was the same son he’d always known. He was, but it was nice for his dad to see that as well.

Chris was offered the position running the new offices of Matthews & Matthews when they opened. The second Matthews had stood for Chris and Michaela's grandfather who had started the firm, and their father was pleased that there would be two Matthews once again.

There is a lot you can forgive, Michaela thought, when it comes to your family. You can say or do some pretty awful things but they won't ruin the relationships forever as long as you have the humility to understand that you were wrong. That's the difference between friends and family. It's a lot easier to walk away from a friend.

Michaela's thoughts went immediately to Jason. Even after last night she’d barely thought about Ethan, so why couldn't she get Jason out of her head? She was getting ready for bed when Chris knocked on her door and popped his head in.

"Hey, you're still up." Chris grinned. There had been a certain lightness about him ever since the talk with their father. He was no longer carrying the weight of parental disapproval.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Want to go for a run?"

"Chris," she said. "It's been snowing all day."

"For old times’ sake?"

She laughed at that, remembering how they used to love running on the hard frozen ground with the icy wind in their faces. Some people would've called them masochists. "Why not?" She smiled and followed him out. "Think you can keep up?" She poked his stomach. "I don't think you've run the entire time I've been living with you."

"I'll do." He laughed and swatted her hand away.

"We'll see." She grinned wickedly and took off.

The cold air burned as it filled Michaela's lungs but she didn't stop. When she ran, she didn't have to think. In a way, she was free.

After only a few minutes, she saw her brother slow to a stop beside her.

"Tired already?" she asked, stopping as well.

"Not really. No." He ran a hand through his hair and looked out across the dark water. In the night, Michaela couldn't see the expression on his face, so she just waited. When he didn't say anything, she bumped her shoulder into his.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I brought you out here because I needed to talk to you."

"We couldn't talk inside?"

"No," he said. "I feel like that house has ears everywhere."

Michaela knew exactly what he meant. Growing up, her mother had seemed to know everything. Michaela had her suspicions. There were always so many staff people around that would have jumped at the chance to earn a few extra bucks spying on their boss's children.

"Okay," she said. "So, what's so important that we have to freeze our asses off?"

"How are things between you and Ethan?"

"Seriously? That's what you want to talk about?"

"Humor me." He looked away uncomfortably while she thought of what to say.

"It's complicated, Chris." Michaela sighed. "It's not the same as before." She paused for a moment. "Let me rephrase that.
I'm
not the same as before. I don't think he's changed at all. I'm just seeing him differently. I think he wants a future from me that I'm not sure I can give him." Michaela's shoulders relaxed and she sat down on the snow-covered sand. It felt good to get that out, and Chris was the only person she could talk to about it.

"Your ass is going to get wet." He gestured to the snow, and she could almost hear laughter in his voice as they both realized the ridiculousness of the situation. They were out in the freezing cold weather in order to avoid their parents. Chris was right. Michaela could feel the snow soaking into her pants.

"Just sit with me." She took his hand and pulled on it. "You're the one who wanted to talk."

"Right," he said, sitting down and growing serious again. "Has Dad been pressuring you about Ethan?"

"Since the day we started dating."

"Did you guys talk about Ethan today?"

"Yeah, Dad still thinks I have to marry him. As if Ethan's last name is the only thing to consider. I really don't care if I get to be a Walker or not. What I care about is if I love him. I mean, I'd be perfectly happy with a life as the wife of a bartender ..." She stopped speaking. Why had she just said that? Chris had always been able to read her better than anyone.

"Michaela, have you talked to Jason?"

"We're talking about Ethan," she said, harsher than she had intended. "Let's keep to that. Why are you asking about Dad?"

"It was something he said to me this afternoon." He scratched the side of his face and then leaned back on his elbows, forgetting about the wet ground they were on. "I think Ethan is going to propose to you again tomorrow."

"What?" Michaela shot to her feet. "He couldn't possibly be that stupid. I said no only a few months ago."

"So, you haven't changed your mind?" Chris got to his feet and Michaela was able to look him in the eyes.

"Chris, I don't even think I want to keep dating him. So, no, I don't want to marry him right now."

"Dad seems sure you'll say yes this time."

"What?" She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

"He told me that you were going to help get the new offices up and running, but that you wouldn't be in the city for much longer."

"That bastard!" Michaela started pacing back and forth furiously. "I can't believe him!"

"Sis, calm down." Chris grabbed her arm to stop her moving and turned her to face him.

"Don't you get it, Chris? This is why he was okay with me becoming a family lawyer. It's why both he and Mom have been trying so hard to act like they’re supporting my dreams. They don't think they'll ever actually have to support them. They're expecting me to marry Ethan and move back here to get our life set up while he finishes school. They're expecting me to become some housewife socialite. They're expecting me to be just like Mom!"

"Do you really think they'd do that? Lie to you about allowing you to become whatever you want?"

"Yes! They would! Mom and I had a talk years ago about what it would mean to be Ethan Walker's wife." She felt the tears make warm tracks down her icy cheeks and didn't bother to wipe them away. "Chris, they don't know how he really is. He scares me sometimes. How could I marry someone like that?"

"Has he hurt you?" Chris's voice lowered into a growl and his posture straightened. Michaela put a hand on his arm.

"Now is not the time to go all macho brother on his ass," she said. "I need you here with me." He relaxed and rested his arms on her shoulders as he looked her in the eye.

"Fine, but promise me something. Promise that after tomorrow, you'll be rid of him."

Michaela swallowed and then nodded slowly. Chris pulled her into a hug. She shivered even with the warmth of her brother's arms.

"Let's get inside," he said. "It's cold out here."

"You think?" she laughed as they started walking towards home.

"Can I ask you one more question?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Jason."

"What about him?" she snapped.

"He's my best friend, Mic." Chris put his hands on his head and turned away from her. "This is so messed up! Why am I even getting involved?"

"Getting involved in what?" She grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around to face her.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen it. You have to know how he feels about you."

"What I know is that he hasn't said anything to me about it."

"Does he have to?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Yes he does. He can't expect me to read his mind. You don't know everything that has happened."

"Are you going to give him a chance when Ethan is out of the picture?" he asked the question that had been rolling through her mind since she started doubting her relationship with Ethan, which, let's face it, was five minutes after she took him back. Would she give Jason a chance? He was going to have to ask for it.

"Listen to me Chris," Michaela said, her voice low. "If Jason's wants to be considered a choice, he needs to make himself one." With that, she started walking away from him.

Michaela felt strange that on the eve of ending things with the boy she’d considered the love of her life for so long, she couldn't stop thinking about someone else.

Thirteen

Thanksgiving Day came way earlier than Michaela was prepared for. When a maid woke her at ten, she grumbled and tried to roll back over. It wasn't until the curtains were thrown open, allowing the sunlight to flood the room, that Michaela finally got up. She’d barely slept the night before. She and Chris got in late and, after she thawed out in the shower, she laid in bed unable to clear her mind enough to sleep. It was four in the morning before she finally drifted off.

Michaela waited as long as she possibly could before heading downstairs to face her parents. She would've been happy if she didn't have to see them at all that day. She found her mother sitting at the long table in the dining room, drinking her coffee.

"Good morning, darling." She smiled at her daughter, but Michaela only grunted in response as she grabbed a pastry and went into the kitchen in search of a mug for her coffee. Her mother used china cups for this and they were set out, but Michaela didn't think they held enough coffee. She had a feeling she’d need it today.

Sitting on the counter were an arrangement of pies their cook must have made for them to take to the Walkers'. The Matthews had been celebrating thanksgiving at the Walkers' mansion ever since Michaela was a kid, long before Michaela and Ethan started dating. The announcement of their relationship had been met with such joy. One more thing to tie the families together.

Michaela barely knew Ethan's father. Mr. Walker was a well-respected surgeon who traveled to perform complicated procedures that other surgeons wouldn't attempt. Mrs. Walker didn't work, but she was on the board of about a dozen charities and museums. Then there was Josh. He'd be missing this year, as he had a game the next day. He was the only member of the Walker clan that Michaela wanted to see.

The Walkers were old money. Ethan's great-grandfather had been a steel magnate, leaving them with enormous wealth. A lot of women would do anything to marry into that family.

Michaela was headed back up the stairs to practice more avoidance when her mother called behind her. "We're expected at the Walkers' at three."

"Okay, Mom."

Outside her room, Michaela bumped into Chris as he threaded his arms through his jacket.

"Going somewhere?" she asked.

"A buddy of mine wants me to stop by."

"Who?" she raised a single eyebrow. "Who wants you to come over on Thanksgiving?"

"Tony."

"Isn't that the guy who worked for Dad and told him you guys were ..."

"Well, he wasn't wrong." Chris shrugged.

"You know we have to be at the Walkers' in a few hours?"

"Don't worry, little sister." He messed up her hair and grinned wickedly. "I won't be long."

"Ewwwww gross!" She pushed him away. "Just don't let Mom see you leave."

"You forget, I'm good at the whole secretive, covert thing."

"Obviously not, if Dad found you out."

"Dad's like a ninja when it comes to finding stuff out, though."

"Just go," she laughed. "But, don't be late. I don't want to be at the Walkers' without you."

###

Chris and their father both made it back in time to go to Thanksgiving dinner as a family. Michaela could barely even look at her father, but she didn't think he noticed. Her mother saw her coldness and gave her a disapproving glare, but Michaela didn't want to talk to her either.

The Walkers' house was even bigger than their own. The front drive was lined with large, old magnolia trees that had been stripped bare by the November weather, but were beautifully lit by their spotlights. The house itself was dark against the snowy backdrop. Stone pillars lined the front, holding up a second floor balcony.

The Matthews' driver let them out in front and then unloaded the pies and took them to the service entrance. Before they reached it, the front door opened and a man in a penguin suit ushered them in out of the cold. He took their coats and hurried away.

Michaela stomped the snow off her boots and looked around. She’d spent a lot of time in this house over the years. Ethan's parents were rarely home, so they spent their time alone here. She knew every turn it took to get to his bedroom and could make it there blindfolded - she had before. She knew which jacuzzi out back had stronger jets and where the key to the liquor cabinet was kept. They’d gotten into a lot of trouble in this house in the past, and they’d had a lot of fun.

Now, as she looked around, the place looked strange. Michaela doubted she'd be invited back after saying no to Ethan yet again, and the house suddenly felt different with the knowledge that this family wouldn't be hers one day. For so long, she’d assumed it would, planned on it even.

They were shown into the sitting room, where Ethan was with his parents. He stood immediately and walked over. After shaking hands with her father and kissing her mother on the cheek, Ethan smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss. Without meaning to, Michaela flinched away from him, remembering the last time she saw him. His eyes clouded over with anger, but he didn't say anything. He’d gotten forceful and almost hurt her in her bedroom two nights before, and Michaela was pretty sure he didn't think he did anything wrong. 

"Come in, come in!" Mr. Walker waved them in, breaking the tension, and invited them to sit as he called for a maid to come and make them drinks. Michaela thought she was going to need more than one.

"Michaela, dear. Sit next to me." Mrs. Walker patted the seat beside her, giving Michaela a look that said she really didn't have a choice. Ethan's mother had always scared Michaela. Her appearance was harsh. She wore her hair pulled back from her face and always had that slightly pinched look about her cheeks that marked the Botox areas. She was always dressed impeccably, nothing out of place. In their world perfection was key, and Mrs. Walker took that to the extreme. She sat straight and stiff with her legs to the side, one ankle crossed over the other. Her every movement was small but precise.

Mr. Walker, on the other hand, was more like his youngest son, Josh. He was always cheery and good for a laugh. He'd cross his legs and lean back to watch what was going on around him. It was as if all the social events and societal rules were one big show to him - there for his entertainment. Michaela had always liked him but he was rarely around.

The conversation centered on Michaela's father's new firm in the city. Mr. Walker seemed overly interested.

"I've always had a fondness for New York," he said. His wife shifted beside Michaela and shot daggers at her husband. It was well-known gossip that Mr. Walker had a wandering eye as well as other wandering parts. He traveled a lot and had been caught cheating in the city. A friend of Mrs. Walker's was kind enough to take pictures of a restaurant rendezvous and spread them around the community.

"Are you liking the city, my dear?" Ignoring his wife, he directed this question at Michaela.

"Very much." She sipped her cocktail and decided not to elaborate.

"I'm hoping she won't be there for much longer," Ethan spoke up and winked at her.

Michaela found herself getting angry. She knew what would be expected of her if she married Ethan but to hear him mention it so openly was hard. What made it worse was that not a single one of the four parents in the room batted an eyelash at that. Only Chris gripped his glass tighter and set his mouth in a firm line.

Michaela clasped her hands together and dug her nails into her skin to keep herself from saying something she'd regret. That was not the time or the place for that discussion.

"Michaela has been an integral part of the team at a family law place called Legal Services," Chris said, leaning forward and smiling at his sister. "She even got to help on their most recent case."

"Christopher," their dad said, "they don't need to hear about that." He turned his gaze to Ethan. "How is school?"

Michaela zoned out as they talked about Harvard and Ethan's plans for after he graduated. She drained the rest of her drink and caught the maid's attention. "Can I get a whiskey?" She’d lowered her voice, hoping they were all too preoccupied to notice. The maid glanced around at the two families and then nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

Taking her new glass from the maid, Michaela took a sip and closed her eyes. It was going to take a lot of this to get through the night.

Mrs. Walker leaned over and spoke to Michaela in a quiet voice so that she was the only one that heard. 

"I was so happy to hear that Ethan was able to look past your behavior over the summer. It would be a shame if all those years he had invested in you were for naught."

Michaela tensed up and forced herself to smile. There were so many things she wanted to say to that woman. Instead of the anger she’d held onto moments before, Michaela felt tears coming to her eyes.

"I need to use the restroom." She shot to her feet and was out of the room before anyone could stop her. She reached the bathroom and closed the door before setting her drink down. She rested her elbows on the marble countertop and hung her head, willing herself to pull it together. She knew what Ethan's mother was like. But his mother wasn't the real problem here. Michaela couldn't stand being in a room with a boy she no longer trusted, his mother who had never truly accepted her, and her own parents who she felt had betrayed her.

She turned on the water and splashed it onto her face as she tried to calm her breathing. Her mother would be upset she was ruining her make-up, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was doing a good job of holding back the tears but keeping it in left her feeling like an emotional wreck.

Michaela jumped when her phone rang but finally smiled when she saw who it was. She hit Answer and breathed in deeply to keep her voice from shaking.

"You have no idea how good your timing is," she said.

"I think I do. You're at my parents' place right now, aren't you?" Josh responded. "I figured you'd be going crazy and, if you got a call, it'd give you a breather."

"You know me too well." Michaela made a sound that was half laugh and half sob.

"Seriously, though. Are you okay?"

"No," Michaela answered. She took a sip of her drink and then exited the bathroom. She walked through the busy kitchen and, deciding she needed some air, stepped outside into the cold and sat down on a bench on the back deck. The hot tub covers were piled high with snow and the railings that ran along the perimeter of the deck were encrusted with ice.

"My family can be hard," Josh said.

"It's not only your family that's the problem. Ethan's going to propose and my parents are in on it."

"I take it that you aren't excited with the prospect?"

"That's an understatement." She sighed and suddenly wished she’d thought to grab her coat. The dampness of the bench beneath her seeped into her dress and sent a chill up her spine.

"You know you deserve better than him, right?"

"Josh, he's your brother."

"Yes, but you're my sister. Whether you marry the douche bag or not."

"I wish you were here." Michaela felt the last of her whiskey create a warmth to battle the cold. She set the glass down and dug her free hand into the snow. Her other hand still held the phone she was pretty sure had frozen to her face.

"I don't wish I was there, but I wish I could see you. I miss you. Maybe next year, you can avoid the family drama and come to Columbus."

"That sounds wonderful. Do you have a game today?"

"Nah, we had practice this morning and a big game against the Hawks tomorrow. Then we have one more game before a five-day breather."

"That's great." Michaela heard the door slide open and looked up to find Ethan watching her. "I've got to go," she told Josh. "Your brother found my hiding spot."

"Oh God, you need to find a better one next time. Don't tell any of them I called. Mom would be pissed since I haven't called her today. I'm enjoying the peace." Michaela laughed and promised she wouldn't tell before hanging up and following Ethan inside.    

###

"Who was that?" Ethan asked.

"Just a friend from the city," Michaela responded, looking away and trying to keep her promise to Josh not to tell.

"The bartender?"

"I keep telling you, he's a bar owner. And no, it wasn't him."

"Why should I believe you?" he growled.

"I honestly don't know, Ethan." She sighed, turning away from him and starting to walk. There were too many people in the kitchen and she knew that cooks and maids talked.

"Don't you walk away from me." Ethan grabbed her arm but she yanked it free of his grasp.

"Okay, I guess we're going to do this now." She’d hoped to get through their Thanksgiving meal before having to have "the talk" but she suddenly felt the overwhelming need to just have it done. Ethan followed her into the library.

Michaela used to love this room. Growing up, when her parents were too much, she'd hide out at Ethan's and spend hours among the books, just reading. There were bookshelves lining the side walls that stretched all the way to the vaulted ceiling. The room had an old-fashioned feel to it that had always allowed Michaela to forget the outside world for a little while.