Choices (The Forever series, Book Four) (16 page)

CK smiles then, his features returning to one of smug
arrogance as he realizes I have not told Cole about the baby.

“Because of the monster who dared to call himself her
husband and I couldn’t bear to be without her. I wanted her safe and with me,”
he says easily.

I relax a bit now that I know he won’t spill the baby beans.

“Sooo,” Sebastian draws out the word slowly, “back to your
birthday. You taught me everything I know about sidestepping a question and
while nicely done, you aren’t getting away from this one.”

“I don’t see the point. It isn’t even the same date as it
would be now,” he complains.

“What does that mean?” Cole asks, lost as usual in the
changes throughout the history of the world.

I turn to him and explain about the change in calendar from
the ancient lunar calendar--which those two old farts were born during--through
the Roman calendar, Julian calendar--Devon and I--to the current Gregorian
calendar, being Cole.

“Oh, I see. Well a date is a date isn’t it?”

“I have an idea,” Sebastian says. “Why don’t we all just go
together and that way we all find out each other’s. Date first, followed by
month that it would be today. Agreed?”

We all nod and he says, “Right, go.”

And, not as much to my surprise as you would think, we all
blurt out “15
^th
April.”

“Well, go figure,” Cole says as we all stare at each other.

“Now that is some coincidence,” Sebastian says as CK looks
away. I stare at him and know that it is no coincidence, as I already know that
both Devon and Fraser were also born on the 15
^th
of April. I just
didn’t realize the extent to which it went. Although what it means is
undecided. It makes sense to me, in a way, that they would share my birthday as
we were all involved in the Prophecy that brought me to Power, but Sebastian?
What is his role? Or maybe it isn’t anything to do with me at all, but CK
instead?

“What’s the significance?” I ask him and he shrugs.

“I haven’t got that far yet.”

I narrow my eyes at him, “Where is the book now?”

“It’s not here,” he says.

Nice try.

“Where is it?” I press.

“
Ponte Sull’acqua
,” he says, glaring at me for
pushing him.

“Fine. I will go and get it,” I say. Inspiration hits me and
I add, “I will also find out what is behind those wards while I am there.” I
grab Cole’s arm and Astral out as CK shouts, “Aefre, No!”

Cole and I land in the grand entrance hall of the castle
followed closely by both CK and Sebastian.

Cole looks around in awe. “Wow,” he says, “This is some
fucking place.”

“This fucking place is my home,” CK says, thoroughly pissed
off that we are here uninvited.

“What’s yours is mine, my dear,” I say patronizingly to him
as I barge past him to the kitchens.

“Aefre, no,” he says again. “You don’t want to go down
there.”

“Constantine. You told me that you would tell me what’s down
there.”

“I know I did. But this isn’t the time. It’s not the right
way.”

“Tell me or I go down there,” I give him the ultimatum with
crossed arms, the book all but forgotten.

“Aefre. Don’t, my love,” he pleads with me.

“If you don’t tell me and I go down there and if it’s… you
know what, there is going to be hell to pay.”

“It’s not that. I told you it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

He shakes his head and I turn to the dungeon door and place
my hand on it.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair in agitation.

I break through the wards and pull open the door. A very
loud, pain-filled howl of anguish echoes up the steps, followed by a clatter
against the iron bars of a cell.

I step back, horrified. “What have you done?” I ask him.

“Not mine, Aefre. Yours,” he says, so sad my heart nearly
breaks.

“Mine? What do you mean mine?” I hiss at him.

“He is one of yours, Aefre.”

My mouth drops open in shock, “No. No. I only have two
living charges. You know that.”

“No, my sweet. You have three.”

“No!” I say again. “No! That’s not possible. I would know! I
would have known if one of them were still alive and here. I would have sensed
them.”

“He was behind the wards. You wouldn’t have known,” he
pauses for the longest time and then says quietly, “Did you never think about
what happened to the man you sired in
Nagyvárad?”

“Gustav? I don’t
know, I never thought about it. I assumed he was dead as I never heard from him
again after I got back,” I say, dread creeping over me.

I gulp as Cole stares at me in disbelief, and Sebastian
looks away, not wanting to catch my eye. I slump down the wall and close my
eyes. Cole moves to come closer but I hold my hand up for him to remain where
he is. I have to see if this is the truth. I have to do something that I
haven’t wanted to do since I got my Powers six months ago, but should have. I
was afraid to see it. I didn’t want to see all the loss I had caused. I
concentrate and flick through the records in my head and bring up my own list
of charges. I saw it briefly when the download occurred at the old Council
buildings in Milan, but I pushed it to the side and kept it buried. I find it
and I draw in a deep breath. I peek at it in my mind’s eye and I see Evoric at
the top. Status: Murdered. I see the next and the next all murdered. I skip to
the bottom, just to stop all the pain and see Devon and Cole there Status:
Alive. It calms me and I look for Gustav’s name. I find it fairly close to the
top. Status: Alive. It’s true.

“Explain,” I croak.

“After about
twelve years had passed since I saw you that day, I wanted to find you. I
needed to see you again. I had heard no more about you in Nagyvárad and I
assumed you Shifted and moved on to a quieter life. I went back to the castle
where I last saw you and it was abandoned. The villagers were terrified of the
place, said it was haunted by the spirits of those who had…” he clears his
throat, “…died there. I went anyway
and discovered the dungeons had been
locked off with wards. Romani magick. I knew then it had something to do with
Lance. I summoned Dmitri to help unlock the wards as he had Romani of his own
and that is when we found him. The humans were long since dead but the Vampire
you sired…he was still alive. Starved and insane, a feral creature that was
beyond repair,” he says and pauses to see my reaction.

I am staring at him, speechless and in horror.

He continues, “I had him brought here, tried for centuries
to fix him after we found you, but it was too late. The damage of being new and
away from you and of being starved and isolated was too much for him to come
back from.”

I shake my head. “No,” I say, the tears falling freely. “No,
please, no.” I slump further down into the ground the wall to the floor, not
able to complete a coherent thought.

“I’m sorry, my love. It was just another punishment from Lance,”
he says, crouching next to me.

“Why didn’t you just end him? Put him out of his misery?”

“The Romani who broke the wards warned me of the link. The
link with Blood Magick. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t take the chance that
ending him would also end you. He hasn’t been mistreated, Aefre. I have given
him the best life I could under the circumstances. I have never stopped trying
to bring him back. But he is dangerous.”

“All this time? All this time you had him here and you
didn’t tell me? I lived here with him locked up in the dungeon for over two
hundred and fifty years and you didn’t tell me?” I am getting hysterical now.
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“To protect you,” he says simply. “You were in no fit shape
after we found you. Over a dozen years it took for you to come back from what
he did to you.
You
were my priority. When you did come back you were
still so fragile for so long, I couldn’t risk a relapse. It was done and I
didn’t want you taking on the burden and guilt that it would have brought.”

“I have to go down there. I have to see him,” I say, holding
out my hand for Cole to help me up.

“I don’t think you should. He won’t know who you are and you
can’t talk to him. He has lost all of his humanity, Aefre. He can’t Shift
back.”

“What?”

“He has been completely taken over by his Vampire half.”

“I can help him. I have to try,” I say desperately. “He’s
mine. I did this to him. It’s all my fault. I have to fix it.”

“You can’t.”

“Then end him,” I say forcefully. “Don’t leave him to be a
monster.”

“I can’t,” Constantine says desperately. “Lance told me that
he did link you, when you were going to get Polly. I asked him and he told me
what he did.”

“Maybe he was lying? Who cares? I can’t die now. I am
invulnerable. Don’t think of me, just put him out of his misery,” I say again.

“No. I won't risk it,” he says, resolute.

“Liv,” Cole says. I look at him and he looks back at me in
sorrow.

“I have to go down there,” I say again.

“I will come with you,” Sebastian says.

“No,” Constantine says. “I don’t want you going down there.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Like hell I can’t,” he says as he grabs my arm, pulling me
back from the door.

I use all the strength I can muster to pull away from him
and take Sebastian’s hand, kicking off my shoes in the process. Damn dungeon
steps.

“Liv,” Cole says again desperately. “Are you sure you want
to do this?”

I nod sadly, “He’s mine. I left him to his fate. I won’t let
him go another minute thinking I left him on purpose.”

“Come,” Sebastian tugs on me and I follow him, the knot tightening
in my stomach with each step down.

He must sense me on some level as he calms when I approach
him. He is on all fours, completely Vamped out, snarling at Sebastian, but then
he whimpers when he sees me.

I pull away from Sebastian and kneel down at the cell. I put
my hand through the bars and he bares his fangs at me.

“Liv,” Sebastian warns quietly.

“Shush,” I whisper.

Gustav stares at me, at my hand, and crawls closer. He stops
in front of me and he sniffs my hand and licks me like a dog would. My heart
breaks as he puts his face against my palm, nuzzling me. The tears roll
silently down my face, as he clearly does know me.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you,” I whisper in the old
language. “I’m sorry that I turned you, I’m sorry that I kept you locked away.
I’m so sorry that I left you. Please know it wasn’t my choice to leave you.”

His eyes come back up to mine, but I see no sign of humanity
in them. He is as Constantine said: damaged beyond repair. I push my wrist to
his mouth and without hesitation he clamps down and feeds from me noisily and
hungrily. I shake off Sebastian’s hand that has landed on my shoulder in
warning.

He pulls back and turns away from me. He curls up on the
floor in a ball and my heart wrenches as I hear him say, “Please let it end.
Please, I can’t go on.”

I look at Sebastian but I don’t think he heard anything.

“Please, help me,” I hear.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper again. “I’ll make it better. I
promise.”

I focus my magick and a bright orb of light hovers above my
palm.

“Aefre, NO!” Constantine shouts as Cole yells, “Liv!” They
both dive for me as I shoot the orb towards my charge, one of so many I turned
just because I wanted to--to suit my own needs with no regard for them. The orb
hits him and he flinches. “Thank you,” he projects into my mind somehow and
disintegrates in a great ball of light.

I cry out in pain--emotional, as well as physical--as
Constantine and Cole land on me a second too late.

“I’m sorry,” I say over and over again as I fall into a heap
on the floor.

“Liv? Liv? Are you okay?” Cole asks me in a panic as he
pulls me into his arms. CK is just staring at me in horror that I might go up
in flames at any minute.

“I’m okay,” I mutter. “My own magick won’t hurt me. No
matter what other factors.”

“Fuck, Aefre. I have never been so terrified in all my
life,” CK says, dragging me to my feet and embracing me. “Don’t ever do
anything like that again.”

“I had to. He was in so much pain. I had to,” I whisper as
he carries me back up the steps. “You should have told me straight away,” I say
to him. “Maybe I could have helped him then. Maybe he would have been all
right.”

“No, my love. I don’t even want you to know the state he was
in when we found him. There is nothing you could have done.”

I close my eyes and say, “There has been too much killing
lately. I can’t do anymore. Are there any more secrets? Any of you harboring
something I should know about?” The pain of killing one of my own is slicing
though me and making me slightly hysterical again.

They all shake their heads at me warily and I mutter, “I
better not find out afterwards.”

CK puts me down and I reach into the cupboard that houses
the Scotch. Not bothering with a glass I pop the lid and drink deeply. “I need
a minute alone,” I say as I reach down to retrieve my shoes. I wander off
upstairs to my old room. Pausing at the door, I turn back and go towards CK’s
room. It is exactly how we left it last year: my robe still slung over the
chair and the candles still in place, all a bit dusty. He clearly hasn’t
allowed anyone back in here since those two days in June. Those two wonderful
days.

I mentally light the candles and my anguish eases. I crawl
onto the bed with the bottle of Scotch and take another deep drink, curling up
on my side.

Sometime later I hear CK say, “Thought I might find you in
here.”

I ignore him.

“Oh, Aefre. Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out again,” he
sighs as he climbs onto the bed behind me and drapes his arm over me, just like
he used to do after he found me. We lie in silence for a few more minutes, then
Cole and Sebastian find us.

“Liv?” Cole says.

I turn at the pain in his voice and I see the fear on his
face. The fear that this is where I want to be, that I am going to leave him to
be with Constantine and for a microsecond I don’t want to leave the comfort of
CK’s arms. He must see it pass across my cursed face as he stares at me in
sorrow and turns to leave. His action forces me to move and I leap off the bed
shoving the Scotch into CK’s hand, noting in annoyance the smug, arrogant look
on his face. I storm past Sebastian and catch up with Cole, grabbing his arm
and pulling him into the alcove.

“Don’t bother trying to explain,” he snarls at me. “I am
quite capable of connecting the dots.”

“No, Cole, it’s not like that.”

“I saw it on your face. That you wanted to be with him.”

I sigh. “Maybe for a second,” I admit and his eyes flash in
pain. “I just wanted everything to be easy again. Before all these Powers and
secrets and choices had to be made.”

“Like when you lived here before with him and shared that
bedroom with him and he took care of you,” he says nastily.

“We never shared that bedroom,” I say as if it’s important
that he know that.

He looks at me blankly.