Chosen (30 page)

“What’s going on?”  It was Chris, and he sounded like he had just woken up.

“Fire alarm,” I said quickly, checking over my shoulder.  The majority of the crowd had already passed, leaving only a small trickle of kids rushing by.  “Hurry up and get out.”

“Tracy?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Come on,” I urged. “We’ve got to get going.”  I assumed it was as hard for him to see me as it was for me to see him.  “Hurry, before we’re the last ones out.”

He cursed under his breath, but came out the door.  Catching him in the bare illumination of the far emergency light, I saw that he was only wearing a robe.  It made me grin.  It reminded me of my dad.  But that was cut short as we both hurried down the stairs, and blended into the milling crowd outside.

All around me, I could hear the uncertainty shared by my peers.  There was a palpable disquiet.  Nobody seemed to have any idea what was going on.  People were mostly talking about the crashing noise that had precipitated all this.  There was a common uncertainty about its cause.  It was dark outside, too.  While the night sky provided slightly better illumination that the dark corridors inside, it was still surprisingly difficult to tell anybody apart.  The lights that usually shone around the courtyard from the dorms were all out.

 I looked for Chris, but realized that he had also gotten away.  I stood by myself, huddling against the growing wind, and waited.  There was nothing else to do.

Just as abruptly as this thing started, it was over.  The cry of the alarm cut off.  Shortly thereafter, with a high pitched beep and whirr, like a machine booting up, the electricity was restored.  Lights came back on.  A confused and slightly tentative crowd filed back inside.  I stood on my tiptoes, looking for either Rob or Chris.  Neither could be seen.  Having nothing else to do, I followed everybody else inside, wondering if we’d ever get an explanation for what happened. 

Chapter Twenty – An Uncanny Pull

For the next few days, I buried myself in my schoolwork.  It was my only solace from the uneasy thoughts that disturbed my mind.  In the past, it had always helped ease my thinking.  There was no uncertainty there, just the work that needed to get done and nothing more.  There were no emotions involved, no doubt, and no misunderstandings.  There were no
people
involved.  I felt, futile as it were, that if I didn’t think about the crystals, they would just go away.

Of course, things were never that simple.  The first day passed without a problem.  On the second day, I found my thoughts drifting toward the crystals whenever I wasn’t completely focused on the task at hand.  I ruthlessly pulled them back each time.  But, my thoughts continued returning to the crystals as the day crept by, more strongly each time.  It was an effort to stop myself from running to Liz and begging to be shown the crystals again.

That type of pull frightened me, as well.  The best thing I could do was confine myself to my room, not speaking to anybody or doing anything not related to schoolwork.  Academics offered an escape, no matter how ineffective it really was.  Why was I thinking about the crystals so much? What was it that drew me to them?  Especially when I knew their danger?

If it was a matter of willpower, I thought I could continue fighting it.  At the same time, I knew I couldn’t isolate myself from everybody else at the school forever.  Sooner or later, I would need to face up to everything going on around me.

Which wouldn’t be a problem, I thought slyly, if it just had to do with Liz and the
crystal seekers
.  It was still odd thinking of the group of girls by that name, but that is what Liz proclaimed them to be.  Things would have been easy – well, maybe not easy, but definitely
simpler
– if my concerns only had to do with them.  The other issue, of course, had to do with Chris and Rob.

Relationships, especially with guys, had never been my strong suit.  I knew I was floundering based simply on how I had reacted.  Since the first day of class, Chris had begun texting me non-stop.  I ignored his messages.  He even came by my room a few times, at which point I froze and pretended I wasn’t there.  I just wasn’t ready to deal with him before getting a better grip on things.  I knew I had promised him that I would talk about
us
.  But, back then, my feelings were much simpler.  Right now, all my emotions were a mess.  His were too, I’d bet, especially after my promise to talk to him and then my ongoing avoidance of him. 

The problem was that whatever feelings I had for him paled in comparison to what I felt – or thought I felt – for Rob.  That night he came by totally changed my perspective on things.  Even though nothing had happened between us, I felt the connection was
there
.  It wasn’t something I would have expected.  But, I realized there was another side to Rob: one that ran much deeper than the buff body and stunning eyes.  There was a person there.  He cared for me – however irrational that really seemed.  What did I have going for me, that Liz or any of the other girls here didn’t seemingly have more of?  Maybe it was just the novelty of my being new that attracted Rob.  If it was something so simple, so superficial, so
outside of who I was
, it diminished my enthusiasm for him.  Or maybe it didn’t.  I wasn’t sure.

So, I avoided him, too.  Thankfully, we had only science class together.  The second time that class met during the week I walked in as inconspicuously as possible and right at the bell, hoping he wouldn’t notice me.  It didn’t work, however, as he made eye contact and winked.  I pretended not to notice.  At the end of class, I slipped out before anybody else, quiet as a mouse.

So, I had to balance two different guys at a time when I totally wasn’t prepared for it.  So, my pitiful natural instinct kicked in: I ignored both of them.

Thankfully, though, I didn’t hear from Liz or the others for the remainder of the week, either.  It was almost an eerie silence, like they were waiting for me to crack and come to them.  Perhaps it was just my imagination getting the better of me, but with every day that passed my thoughts started coming back to the crystals with increased intensity.  It made it seem that it was just a matter of time before I went back to Liz.

Complicating matters even further, and definitely contributing to why I just wanted to be by myself, was the fact that my headaches had started getting worse.  As the week dragged on, it started becoming a chore to get out of bed every morning.  I trudged from class to class throughout the day, but the entire time my head was throbbing.  The usual clarity with which I could focus on things was gone, replaced by a cloudy haze that lifted only when I thought of the crystals.  It made focusing on schoolwork infinitely harder.  Yet, that was the only thing I would allow myself to do.

Unfortunately, the amount of work given out at the start of the year was sorely lacking.  Everybody was still transitioning from summer mode – even the teachers – so the assignments we got were few and far between.  I did my best to read ahead, to bury myself in the material we would cover later in class, but it was empty work.  By the time the weekend rolled around, I had reached the extent of how far I could work ahead.  It was time to face reality.

Saturday morning, I woke up having hellish nightmares.  I dreamt I was back in the void, but this time there was no escape.  The crystals had abandoned me.  When I tried to draw on their power to save myself nothing happened.  I was empty, and alone.  Even worse, Ashley’s attack replayed itself over and over again, but this time, when the horrible flame touched my skin, it reached deep into my being until its wicked tendrils wrapped themselves tightly around my soul.  It gave a yank, and everything that was me was forever lost, wrenched cleanly out of my empty body by a torturer’s hook.

I shot up in bed, my sheets drenched in a pool of sweat.  My heart was racing, and I was breathing hard.  My eyes were open wide, but not seeing.  It took a few moments for my breathing to calm, and for me to realize I was safely in my room.  I stumbled out of bed and toward the bathroom, where I splashed cold water against my face. 

I walked to my desk slowly.  It was already light outside, and I doubted I could fall asleep after the dreams I’d had.  Today, I realized belatedly, marked the start of opening days, the annual events that welcomed students back to Oliver Academy.  Things would get started in the main yard around noon.

I sat down heavily in my chair.  Everybody was expected to attend, which meant I would inevitably run into Liz or the others.  I was unprepared.  I wanted to talk to them on my own terms, only after I’d figured things out.

Yet, how could I figure anything out if I deliberately prevented myself from thinking about it?  I sighed.  I was unprepared to face the crystals, and all their implications.  But I had to do it sooner or later.

I thought back to how it all came about.  It was because of my curiosity about what happened in that room at the party, obviously.  I knew now what that was, of course.  Liz had used one of the crystals, and was suffering after-sickness when I found her. 
Why
she was using it was another question.  Her use of it had drawn me to the room, almost as if… as if the crystal was calling to me.

That was also frightening.  It echoed uncomfortably what Ashley had said.  She had insisted that I was drawn to come to Oliver Academy, and Traven Island, because of the crystals.  That couldn’t possibly be true, yet… why did I feel so uneasy when I thought about it?  It was almost as if, deep down, I knew there was a grain of truth.  And admittedly, in the face of everything else I’d been shown, perhaps the idea wasn’t as preposterous as it appeared at first glance.

You can’t run from who you are, Tracy
.  Another thing Ashley had said.  That prophetic sentence weighed heavily on my mind.  None of it made any sense.  It was as if I had walked into one of those fantasy stories when I came to the island.  Except this was real life.  I was scared.  And there was nobody to turn to – nobody I could talk about all this with.  Kyla, or even my parents, would have been an obvious first choice, if it wasn’t for that oath Liz had made me swear.  The mere thought of telling somebody other than Ashley, Liz, Eve, or Madison about the crystals left me queasy.  Something about the oath made it very real.  

My thoughts turned back to the crystals.  What were they, exactly, and how did they work?  What was so special about them, or about me – or any of the other girls – that activated their power?  What did Liz call it again?  Reading their aura?  It was something I did without realizing, apparently.  The scariest thing was how natural it felt.  When I held the crystal in my hand, and experienced that burning sensation, even though it frightened me, it felt… right.  As if I were made for it.

I found myself longing to touch the crystal again, to feel the surge of energy and power flowing through my body.  This time, I wouldn’t succumb to the after-sickness.  This time, I would control what the crystal did, and become one with its power.  This time—

A bout of vertigo hit me, and I felt sick.  I clutched at my roiling stomach.  The movement left me lightheaded, and even though I was sitting down, I felt disoriented.  A mental image of the crystal flashed out of nowhere.  It blocked out everything else.  It was the most perfect representation I could believe.  I could see the sharp edges, the translucent side planes.  The dull blue hue vibrated within, calling out for me to touch it.  Slowly, tentatively, I reached for it in my mind’s eye… and it evaporated into mist!  I felt a sudden pang of loss, followed by a harsh, sharp pain at my side.

Before I knew it I was on the floor, gasping and doubled over.  The entire world seemed to swirl before me.  The walls of my room blended together with the floor, until I could no longer tell which way was up or down.  The light streaming from the window seemed too harsh.  It flared menacingly, enveloping the whole room.  I shut my eyes, pressing my face into my elbow to block out the light, but it only intensified.  It was
pulsing
, much like the crystals pulsed, all around me.  My only defense was the crystal in my mind’s eye.  But, it had disappeared, and, with it, any hope of saving myself.  I cried out in anguish.  Suddenly everything… went away.

I opened my eyes warily.  My head was still spinning, but this time the vertigo felt like I’d had too much to drink.  The light shining through the window was a simple ray of morning sun, no more intense or malicious than usual.  The walls of my room were steady, as was the ceiling and floor.  Everything was as it is supposed to be.  Nothing moved anymore. 

I rose slowly.  This was not the first incident I’d experienced since coming here.  Each was getting worse since I had learned of the crystals.  I couldn’t tell if the crystals were the direct cause of it, or if it was due to my earlier concussion.  Maybe it was some uncanny combination of the two.

I thought about showering and getting dressed, and then heading out for opening days.  Thought about it, but decided against it.  A weariness was creeping into my body.  It wasn’t a fatigue from overtiredness.  It was more like… more like a
drawn out
feeling.  Like too little butter spread over toasted bread.  I climbed back under the covers, positioning myself so I was on the dry part of the bed.  It was strange, the way I felt at the moment.  My shoulders felt weighed down, and an external pressure pressed down on the rest of my body.  I felt my forehead with the back of my hand.  Was it warm?  Maybe more so than usual.  Perhaps I was coming down with something? The flu or some other type of bug, unrelated to the crystals?