Chosen by Sin (34 page)

“What?” she asked, the question simple and designed to deceive. She’d
probably wanted to say: “I don’t feel guilty.” But she didn’t, because she
couldn’t, because that would have been a lie.

“You feel guilty that you survived and your parents didn’t. You feel
guilty because you’re immortal and the Draci aren’t. Hell, you probably even
feel guilty that you got pregnant, despite the fact you didn’t think you could
and we used condoms. Goddess knows that if that’s true, then I contributed to
your guilt. For that I’ll always be sorry. But I don’t blame you anymore, Jes.
And you have to stop blaming yourself. For all of it.”

She pulled away from him, walked across the room, and turned her back
on him. But he didn’t give up. He came up to her. Close enough that she’d feel
him even though they weren’t actually touching. “Why are you the only immortal
here?”

She whirled around. “Excuse me?”

“Why haven’t you brought in other vampires to help you? Surely there
are some who’d be willing to do what you do. Some that are medically trained,
in fact. Why do you do things all on your own?”

“This village is virtually unheard of. We want to keep it that way.
It’s how we’re able to maintain some level of peace. Besides, I don’t know any
vampires. Not anymore.”

“It wouldn’t be too hard to find them. I can talk to my friend Knox. He
has connections.”

“No,” she said coolly.

“No?” he repeated. “Just like that?”

“That’s right. I don’t want vampires—I mean, I’m fine with things
the way they are.”

“I bet you are. It puts you in a pretty important position, don’t you
think? Everyone around you either ill or dying. Almost like you’re some kind of
Goddess. That would change if all of a sudden you brought in another immortal.”

“All that would change is that the Draci will have exposed their
weaknesses to more people, more people who can turn against them, more people
they can’t trust. Or are you telling me that you trust others? Even this Knox
you’re talking about?”

“There are not many I trust,” he conceded. “But I have good reason for
that. What’s your reason? Just who staked you and your parents out to die?” He
reached over and lightly caressed her scars. This time she managed not to
flinch. “Was it vampires? Is that why you don’t want to bring your own kind
here?”

“No.
Ce n'était pas des vampires
.
It was werewolves.”

“What?” It was the last thing he’d been expecting her to say.

“That’s right. It’s ironic, don’t you think? A were killed my parents.
My mother and my father. But a were also saved me, and then another gave me a
baby. Maybe it’s some kind of cosmic fair play.”

“If werewolves killed your parents, why would Bodin have intervened?
They must have been acting under his orders.”

“They were. At least, initially. They were searching for a vampire
among my villagers, but they couldn’t find him. They didn’t believe us when we
said we didn’t know where he was. Or even who he was. Bodin told them to find
the vampire so he could talk to him, but he never authorized violence. Bodin’s
men went crazy. They overpowered several of us. We weren’t used to fighting. We
were a peaceful clan. They took us and staked us, not realizing I was too young
to have vampire powers or vampire weaknesses, either. And then Bodin arrived
and he saved me. Then he punished his men. Each and every one of them. So it’s
not vampires I hate. I don’t hate anyone, Dex. Not even weres. I hate the ones
who did what they did. But I don’t hate the whole race.”

“Then you’re better than me. Better than most people. I don’t think I
could be that evolved. In fact, I know I can’t. Did Bodin ever find the vampire
he was looking for?”

***

At Dex’s question, Jes said, “I don’t—” but her claim of
ignorance stopped mid sentence.

Because something had suddenly occurred to her. Something alarming.

It was so obvious, but she, who prided herself on gathering information
and wielding her scientific mind like a finely honed scalpel, hadn’t even
thought of it.

The day Bodin had saved her, his weres had been searching for a
vampire. That had also been around the same time Bodin had sent Dex away. Could
it be that Bodin had been looking for Dex’s vampire father? And if so, why? To
talk to him? Or to kill him?

A shiver of doubt swept through her. Was it possible that Dex was right
about his grandfather after all?

“Jes, if you don’t hate any particular race, why won’t you bring other
immortals here?”

Her answer was an easy one given what she’d just been thinking.
“Because while I don’t hate,” she answered slowly. “I also don’t trust. Like
you, I’ve lived long enough to know that everyone is motivated by their own
selfishness, and that includes me. You asked if I want to be a goddess? Yes. I
do. I wish I had the power to create and manage life. Because I think I’d do a
much fairer job than those currently in power.”

He obviously had no response for that. How could he? Life was filled
with unfairness. Dex had to know that better than most.

It was just too bad creationism, and if it existed, individual cosmic
power, weren’t ruled by democratic vote. Or maybe, given what a bad job the
world’s current democracies were doing, it wouldn’t even matter.

“I’m sorry, Jes,” Dex said. “I know you’re doing what you think is
right. But you can’t continue to hurt yourself in a desperate attempt to alter
nature.”

She smiled. Appreciated that even now he was trying to protect her.
Convince her that what she was doing was wrong. But she didn’t believe him. She
probably never would. “Dex, the night I met you, you were with your Para-Ops
team. How long have you been together?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Please. Just answer my question.”

He did, albeit impatiently. “A few months.”

“I saw for myself how well you work together. Do you consider the
Para-Ops team your family?”

“No.”

She smiled sadly at his swift response. “Let me guess. You think of
them as better than your family, don’t you? So let me ask you this, and answer
honestly, please. Would you die to protect one of them?”

He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t. Not for several tense, prolonged
seconds. Then, with great reluctance, he admitted, “Yes.”

She nodded at the confirmation of what she’d already known. “Then why
can’t you understand that I’d do the same for the Draci? Because they are my
family. If I can help them, even if it means suffering a little pain, then so
be it. I’m an adult. I can make that decision. And I’m sorry, but I won’t stop
trying. Ever.”

A few hours later, Jes finally fell asleep. She was obviously
exhausted, the trials of the past few weeks as well as her pregnancy causing
her internal clock to shift. It was another hour before Dex accepted he wasn’t
going to rest as easily. Silently, he left her room and walked into the garden,
heading for the iron gazebo where they’d had their first meal together. He was
almost to the structure when shadows moved.

Cy said, “So you’re still here, huh? I thought if anything would make
you run, it would be that.”

Dex stepped closer and saw the dragon-shifter. He was in his favorite
sitting position, sprawled out and limbs splayed, swigging back something clear
from a bottle.

“I’m not running,” Dex confirmed, bracing himself against the gazebo’s
opening. “Today only proved how much Jes needs me here.”

Cy nodded and pointed the neck of the bottle at him. “Because I can’t
take care of her the way you think you can?”

The dragon-shifter was clearly inebriated. Slurring his words. His
manner more aggressive than usual. Dex sighed. “You’re too close to the subject,
Cy. Too willing to give her what she thinks she needs.”

“You think I let her hurt herself because it might end up saving me?”
He shook his head. “No. I let her do what she needs to in order to have any
semblance of happiness.”

“Maybe she needed her quest in order to be happy at some point, but not
anymore. She has me and the baby now.”

Cy laughed. “Oh wow. That’s a good one. So when I wasn’t looking, you
decided to pledge your love and devotion to her after all?”

Dex straightened. “That’s right. I know you aren’t happy with that, but
if you want to continue being part of Jes’s life, you have to accept it.”

“You mean: if I want to be part of her life for the next fourteen years
of the life that I have left, right? And even then, only if I’m lucky.”

For the first time since Dex had met Cy, the guy looked morose.
Completely without hope. If Dex hadn’t been so messed up himself, unsure of how
to handle Jes and her obsession with prolonging life, he might have even felt
sorry for the other male. “I didn’t say that, Cy.”

“You didn’t have to.” Cy shot to his feet, weaving slightly before
catching himself. “Damn it, it’s not fucking fair. She just met you but you’re
going to get everything. Her. The baby. Hundreds of years with them.”

When he put it like that, it did sound pretty damn unfair. Exactly the
reason Jes wanted to prolong the Draci lifespan in the first place. But
everyone had their baggage. He understood wanting to change things for the
better, but how far did that extend? Far enough that someone like Jes gave up
her own chance for happiness in order to give it to others? He wasn’t going to
let that happen, and he sure as shit wasn’t giving up his chance for happiness
with her. “You said you were happy, Cy. If that’s true, you’ve had fourteen
years of the happiness I’ve just discovered is possible.”

Cy threw the bottle against the side of the gazebo, shattering it into
a hundred pieces. “This isn’t as easy as buying a fucking ice cream cone,” Cy
snarled.

“I know that.”

“No,” Cy said. “You don’t.” The dragon-shifter stumbled toward him
while Dex held his ground.

The closer Cy got, the more sure Dex became that the one bottle had
simply been the first of many. Cy reached out and thumped Dex on the chest with
the flat of his palm. “You don’t know anything, Dex Hunt. You certainly don’t
know Jes.” He slapped Dex in the chest again. “Not what drives her. Not if you
actually believe that you and the baby will make her so happy that she’ll stop
being obsessed with her research.”

This time, when Cy moved to slap him, Dex shoved back. Hard. Cy toppled
backward, landing on his ass. To keep him down, Dex pushed his foot against
Cy’s chest. “Whatever I don’t know about her, I’ll learn. I know it won’t be
easy and I’m not expecting a miracle overnight. But we’re going to have the
time to figure it out together.”

Cy struggled beneath Dex’s foot before surrendering. With that, Dex
released him and stepped back. Cy immediately clambered his way to his feet.

“Only until you leave her,” Cy spat. “Remember, I told you that. I know
you’ll leave her.”

“I’m not leaving her.”

“You’re wrong. What if she continues to experiment on herself? What if
it goes beyond cutting and she wants to explore regeneration by having someone
cut off one of her limbs? You going to stay with her then?”

“I’d never let that happen. I’ll protect her, and I’ll help her find
other ways to get what she needs. If what she needs is to find a way to
lengthen life, then fine, I’ll do everything I can to help her. But she’ll damn
well learn to balance things and look out for herself, too.”

“What if she asks you to do something?”

“What? She can have anything she needs from me. Hell, she can have my
blood before I’ll let her shed any more of her own.”

“Too late for that,” Cy taunted.

“What are you—”

“You have no idea what Jes would demand of you. What if she wanted your
loyalty?

“She has it.”

“What if she wants you to pledge your loyalty to someone else? Someone
you hate? What if she wanted you to
save
someone you hated?”

“Stop fucking around, Cy. If you have something to say, then just say
it.”

“Fine. Bodin of Hammersham.”

“Nice try. But I already know he’s the one who brought Jes here.”

Cy’s eyes rounded with shock but Dex felt no pity for him.

“She told you that, huh? Well, did she tell you he’s here? Because he
is. He’s been here the entire time.”

***

Something woke Jes and she automatically reached for Dex. She frowned
when she found the space beside her empty. Where had he gone? And was he still
angry with her?

She closed her eyes, wishing things between them weren’t so
complicated. Hating the fear and uncertainty she’d seen in his eyes when he’d
discovered what she and Amanda had been doing. But Dex had hated his
grandfather his whole life. Had probably plotted to kill him for most of that
time. He didn’t understand the urgency she and Amanda had felt as they’d stared
down at Bodin and—

She abruptly sat up.

Bodin. She’d intended to check in on him immediately after she and
Amanda had concluded with their research, but once Dex had arrived, she’d
forgotten. Then she’d fallen asleep.

She leaped out of bed, and finding herself still in her robe, didn’t
even bother to dress. She grabbed her keys, the ones that would enable her to
get to Bodin, and rushed out of her room.

When she arrived, Bodin was either still unconscious or asleep, but
he’d kicked all his covers off. Occasionally, he muttered to himself and
writhed restlessly on the bed, as if he had something important to do.
Something urgent. Only someone or something was keeping him from it.

She picked up the covers and tucked them carefully around him.

“Camille, my darling girl. Dex—” he whispered.

It wasn’t the first time he’d called to them in his sleep.

“Shhh,” Jes soothed and placed her hand on his forehead. Despite all
the antibiotics they’d been giving him, he was burning up. It wasn’t the heat
of infection, but the heat of his ancestors calling him home after a long life
lived. No matter how they’d fought it, she knew it was Bodin’s time.