Chosen Child (32 page)

‘Are we going home soon?’

Ella patted the rock beside her. ‘I’m not sure. I’ll have to
phone the police; they’ve been looking for you and Daddy. Liz’ll be coming and
I don’t know what’ll happen then.’

Soraya sat on the rock, her eyes dark. ‘Why’s Liz coming?’

This was where she destroyed her daughter’s new world.
‘Sweetheart, something very bad has been happening at home, something I didn’t
know about. Liz wants to know you’re okay.’

‘Did Daddy do something bad?’

Ella blotted her eyes before the tears escaped. There were
no flies on Soraya. ‘I’m afraid he did. The police are trying to find out what
it was. Liz will explain what she wants for you, and we both know we can trust
her. You might be going back to Auntie Mel’s for a bit.’

Soraya’s face blanched. ‘I don’t want to go to Auntie Mel’s!
I want to stay with you!’

‘That’s what I want too, and I’m going to work very, very
hard to make sure that happens. But we – the police and I – need to get the bad
stuff sorted first and that’ll take a day or two.’

Her heart breaking, Ella made the call, then sat on the rock
with Soraya wedged between her knees, and they gazed out over the ocean. Thirty
minutes of beauty with her child in her arms; remember the feeling, Ella,
remember the smell, remember the love.

DI Martin arrived with a WPC half an hour after her call.
‘Rick’s been found further along the coast path,’ he said. ‘He’s unconscious.
They’re airlifting him to Truro.’

Ella clutched Soraya’s hand. ‘Did he fall?’

‘I don’t know. A German family found him. It wasn’t until
the paramedics reached him that we were alerted. WPC Gray here will go with you
back to your home. We’ll catch up later.’

Soraya was clinging to her, and Ella lifted the child into
her arms and turned towards the car park. For the very first time she was
walking along carrying her daughter, and please God this wouldn’t be the last
day they spent together.

Saturday 2nd August

Not knowing what was going on was intolerable. Amanda played
with Jaden until he went for his nap after lunch, then sat on the sofa zapping
round the TV channels. There was nothing on the national news at one o’clock,
and only a very short mention on the local station.
The body
of a man has been found in a Cornish garden
… She didn’t dare look
online. And what would happen when Gareth’s identity was released was anyone’s
guess. She’d need to discuss that with DI Martin. Amanda balled her fists and
thumped the sofa. Living alone, with just a toddler for company, was unbearable
today, thank God Suze would be here later. Amanda smiled wryly; she had never
looked forward so much to a visit from her mother-in-law. But Suze was a good
person and more important, she was family, exactly what they needed now. They
could stay in Glasgow till autumn, when it would be cool enough to visit her
own parents in Spain. St Ives wouldn’t be home for much longer. It was horrible
to think how many lives had been ruined by that stupid affair with James/Rick –
she needed to get her babies right away from that, into a fresh start.

Jaden’s voice called from his bedroom, and Amanda winced.
His naps were getting shorter; her lovely long break in the middle of the day
was a thing of the past. She lifted him, revelling in the sensation of his head
snuggled under her chin. Her boy, and he loved his mum; this was what she had
to defend. If the truth came out she would end up in prison and Jaden would be
sent to Suze in Glasgow. And probably the new baby would too, eventually. Suze
would take them, Amanda knew. But that wasn’t going to happen; she wouldn’t let
it.

So she had to know what was going on.

There were two cars in Ella’s driveway and Amanda slowed
down. Neither was obviously a police vehicle but then they didn’t always drive
around in panda cars. Maybe this was a bad idea, she didn’t want to barge into
a roomful of people. But there didn’t seem to be any other way to find out what
was going on.

She trudged up the path rang the bell, her heart thumping.
To her dismay it was Owen who opened the door, but before Amanda could say
anything Soraya ran out.

‘Jaden! Come and play!’

Jaden was struggling to get out of his buggy, grey eyes
shining and his face one big beam. Owen stood back silently, and Amanda stepped
inside.

‘Is Ella all right? And Rick?’

Soraya took Jaden’s hand. ‘Daddy’s in hospital. Come on,
Jaden. We can play in the living room.’

Ella appeared in the kitchen doorway and gave Amanda a
hunted look. The pain in the other woman’s eyes brought tears to Amanda’s.

‘Ella, I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, and to her enormous
surprise Ella hugged her tightly.

‘
You’re
sorry – it’s me who should
be saying that,’ she said, her voice tight. ‘They’ve told me it was Gareth.
Amanda, I don’t know what to say. I’ve no idea how Rick was connected to your
husband. The police are investigating but so far there’s nothing.’

Amanda wished with all her heart she’d stayed at home.
‘Soraya said Rick’s in hospital?’ She could hear the fear in her own voice. If
he was in hospital he wouldn’t have been interviewed yet – would he?

‘Yes. Come in, Owen’s made coffee. And this is Liz, our
adoption worker, and Mel from foster care. And you know DI Martin?’

Amanda sat down opposite Mel, feeling like the biggest
imposter on the planet. This was exactly what she hadn’t wanted to happen. Ella
poured her a coffee, and Amanda saw how the other woman’s hands were shaking.
An awkward silence fell. Amanda blinked at her coffee, noticing how sunlight
from outside was casting mug-shaped shadows on the kitchen table. Eventually
Ella spoke, her voice unsteady. ‘Rick’s in Truro. They’re operating; it’s a
brain haemorrhage and it’s not looking good. They’re talking about brain
damage.’

For a moment Amanda couldn’t breathe. First Gareth, then
Rick… ‘
No
– what happened?’

Ella gave her a queer look and Amanda ducked her head. She’d
sounded over-concerned there; she should be more careful. Fear chilled through
her, and the baby kicked in protest. Silence fell again, broken by the sudden
blaring of the television in the living room. Jaden’s bubbly laugh rang out.

‘A bang on the head may have caused his injury,’ said DI
Martin. ‘We’re hoping he’ll wake up enough to tell us what happened with your
husband.’

Amanda nodded. How horrible, now she had to hope Rick was
never able to speak to them. But at least they didn’t know how Rick and Gareth
were connected. She should say as little as possible now. If only she’d stayed
at home.

‘I see,’ she said at last. ‘You’re busy, Ella. I’ll leave
you to get on with things.’ She was about to get up when Liz spoke.

‘If you can stay another five minutes while I explain to
Ella what’s going to happen with Soraya it would be helpful. Your little boy’s
being a good distraction through there.’

Amanda slumped back into her chair, and Liz turned to Ella.

‘Until this case is closed she’ll be going back to Mel’s,
Ella. I’m so sorry, but you’ll understand we can’t do anything else.’

‘And afterwards?’ Ella’s face was white.

‘That depends. If Rick was involved in this death, he won’t
be allowed to adopt.’

‘My marriage is over.’ There was determination in Ella’s
voice. ‘I want Soraya.’

‘What are you talking about? What’s happening? I don’t want
to go to Auntie Mel’s, I’ve got a forever mummy now!’ Soraya was in the
doorway, her eyes huge and her face almost as white as Ella’s.

Amanda choked back a sob. This was awful. Jaden’s voice from
the other room gave her an excuse and she went through to pick him up, rocking
him in her arms. And she who had been instrumental in a man’s death could rock
her child, while Ella, who had done nothing wrong, was about to have hers taken
away.

Amanda stood in the hallway, listening as Ella spoke to
Soraya.

‘Darling – you remember I told you Rick had done something
bad? Well, I have to help the police find out what happened, and that will take
a bit of time. Another thing is, because of what Rick did, I don’t want to live
here anymore. So I’m going to look for a nice new home and I’m hoping very hard
that you can join me there some day. But until it’s all settled you’ll be
staying with Auntie Mel.’

Amanda could see into the kitchen. Soraya’s face was
tear-blotched and red. ‘I don’t want to go! What did he do? Will you come every
day? And can Jaden come too?’

‘I don’t know what Rick did but the police will find out.
I’ll see you as often as they let me but I don’t know anything about that yet.
Auntie Mel will keep us right about it.’

Amanda closed her eyes. It would be the biggest relief ever
to get right away from the whole situation here.

A chair scraped back, and Mel spoke. ‘Come on, sweetie.
Let’s pack your case and then we’ll be home in time for tea.’

‘I want my shells but if I take them the others’ll get
them!’ Soraya was crying loudly now, and Amanda buried her face in Jaden’s
neck. They had done this, she and Rick, and she would have to live with that.

Sunday 3rd August

The house was silent. Ella walked through the kitchen, into
the dining room – hard to remember the last time they’d dined in here; probably
at the beginning of May, before Soraya started visiting – and across the
hallway into the living room. There were so many little knick-knacks lying
around, so many memories of her marriage. And this was the famous first day of
the rest of her life.

She glanced out to the back garden. The shed, still in its
police tent… and the shell garden, bereft of most of the seashells. Only the
buddleia looked as usual, butterflies bobbing around in their colourful dance.

Thank goodness she was going to Helston to stay with Mum and
Mary, albeit a day later than originally planned. The thought of spending
another night in her bed here made Ella feel sick. No, no – she would get the
house cleared and on the market ASAP – if that was possible without Rick. If it
wasn’t she would rent it out.

The photo on top of the television caught her eye – her,
Rick and Soraya the day the little girl first came to spend a night. The happy
family that had never been, in reality, and there was no way back from what
Rick had done. Ella lifted the photo and stared. She and Soraya were standing
close, sharing the same space and touching, but Rick was a few centimetres
away, at a distance. The gap had been there long before she was aware of it.
Ella eased the photo from its frame and went for the scissors. Two good snips
and she was holding a lovely photo of her and her girl, with a tiny bit of
Rick’s arm at the side. She would touch it up and have one made for Soraya too,
if they’d let her have it. God bless Photoshop.

Tears welled up and Ella blinked determinedly. Liz would be
here soon with information about how – and if – she could proceed as a single
adopter. It was important to make a good impression in the face of adversity,
but oh, this was tough. She was back to making a good impression on her
adoption worker. Back to assessment and back to panel, too – if she was lucky.
If she wasn’t it would be the end for her and Soraya. The doorbell rang, and
Ella stuck her chin out. This was it, the new beginning. Or maybe the end.

‘Are you okay? And how’s Rick?’ Liz came in and sat in her
usual place.

‘I’m fine. Rick’s still unconscious and they’re not happy
with him. His sister’s on her way. I’ll be starting divorce proceedings
tomorrow no matter what, though. Liz, do I have any chance of getting Soraya?’

Ella held her breath. The hope was unbearable, but how very
much worse it would be to have Liz dash it forever.

‘You do, but it won’t be a quick fix. You’ll need to get
your living situation regulated, including your income, and then we’ll be back
at the assessment leading to home study stage. Realistically, we’re looking at
six months at least. And no guarantees. I’m not even sure you’ll be able to
visit her until your application’s gone through. The circumstances are –
unusual, to say the least. We’ll sort that out next week.’

Ella stared at her hands on the table. What were six months,
after all, if she had her girl back at the end of them? A shitty fucking
horrible long time, that was what.

‘Ella, I called Mel today and as an exception we’re going
there this afternoon. We need to make sure Soraya understands what’s going on.
You’ll be able to make your goodbyes properly. Yesterday was chaotic.’

For a moment Ella couldn’t speak. Oh, what a painful kind of
joy this was. She was to be allowed to say goodbye properly. With no
guarantees. But at least there would be a goodbye before she left her girl to
be cared for by others.

Ella ran upstairs and rummaged in her jewellery box. Here it
was; the butterfly brooch she’d worn as a little girl. A delicate gold base,
and vivid turquoise enamel. She would give it to Soraya whether she was allowed
to or not.

‘For me? Is it gold?’

They were upstairs in Soraya’s bedroom. It was hers alone
now as her foster-sister had been adopted, and Ella was glad to see Soraya’s
shells safely spread out on the chest of drawers.

She fastened the brooch on the little girl’s sweatshirt.
‘Yes. It’s on loan. We’ll hope very, very hard that you can come to a new
forever home with me, maybe next springtime. Then we’ll get you one of your own
and you can give me this one back.’

‘And if I can’t come?’

‘Then you have a forever butterfly to remind you I love
you.’

Soraya nodded slowly, fingering the brooch. ‘Honest truth?’