Chris & Nancy (5 page)

CHAPTER 4

IN THE SUMMER OF 2006,
Holly Schrepfer was driving home when she saw a disheveled and upset woman walking along Quarters Road. The woman was her new next-door neighbor, Nancy Benoit, whom Holly had not yet properly met. Holly asked Nancy if she was
OK
. The answer was no, not exactly — she had just had a fight with her husband, who threw her against the wall, and she was afraid to go back inside. Holly drove Nancy to a hotel near the Atlanta airport, where she spent a couple of nights before things at home cooled off.

In the first years of their marriage, the Benoits, employed by the Atlanta-based
WCW
, had settled in Peachtree City. Wrestlers from the South generally liked to live closer to the center of metropolitan Atlanta. Out-siders like Benoit (Canada), Johnny Grunge (New Jersey), William Regal (Great Britain), and Fit Finlay (Ireland) favored Peachtree, another rim away from the nearest suburbs and somewhat more sanitized, even sensory-deprived.
WCW
ring announcer Dave Penzer and
TV
cameraman Darwin Conort also lived there. The wrestling people formed a regular social circle, hanging out together at places like the Ginza Japanese Steak House. Their wives, especially, bonded, swapping insecure gossip about what their husbands were up to on the road.

But eventually the Benoits withdrew from the group. Chris, who could be gregarious on the road, was distant and awkward at home. The only person with whom he continued to keep in touch was Grunge, which was why his death, on top of Eddie's, hit Chris so hard.

The core of Benoit's personality remained an enigma to the end. Even some of his closest friends and colleagues could be intimidated by his intensity, his single-minded focus on wrestling, and his fanatical workout regime of stair-climbing and squats, along with weight training, from which he had never lapsed, going all the way back to his days of humiliation at the lowest level at a Japanese dojo. Former wrestler Superstar Billy Graham was among those who observed a fundamental social disconnect, a quality whereby Benoit, in the middle of a non-wrestling dialogue in a group situation, was prone to zoning out without warning. Later, struggling to make sense of Chris's murderous rampage, Graham remembered that a lot of the guys called Benoit “the zombie.”

Another wrestling colleague who puzzled over Benoit was Chris Masters, who put it this way: “To be perfectly honest, I respected the hell out of Chris Benoit for being the man that he was, but there was always an intense energy coming from him every time I shook his hand. It made for sometimes short and awkward conversations.”

On
CNN
's
Nancy Grace
, fellow Canadian wrestler Chris Jericho described Benoit as “almost a tale of two cities, a tale of two people. There is the Chris Benoit that had these horrendous acts of extreme psychopathic lunacy in the last couple days of his life, and then there's the Benoit that I myself traveled with, lived with, said ‘I love you' to on many occasions. He was my mentor. He was one of my best friends. And he was a brother to me in so many ways. And the fifteen years I knew him and the two days that he decided to do these horrible, horrible acts, it's hard to kind of discern the two. And that's why we have to figure out what would cause such a mild-mannered, polite, influential, tremendous person and performer to do such things.”

Jericho called Benoit “a very quiet man but not a recluse and not a hermit, just quiet. He minded his own business, but he was always around. If there was a joke, he would laugh. And of all the years I was with him, I never once saw anything — if there was a fight — if I went nuts and wanted to beat somebody up, he was the guy that would contain me. And a lot of people can tell you that.”

Journalist Dave Meltzer also had a nuanced view of Benoit. He considered being accessible to his fans his own important responsibility, and when Meltzer launched an Internet radio show in
1999
, Benoit was his first on-air guest. “Chris was uncomfortable and distant, but was very nice and a good listener to those he knew,” Meltzer said. “I think he was someone who was always thinking and a very private person. He definitely needed to be by himself and didn't like being social at times. He internalized a lot. He was
not
a ‘dumb jock' type.”

One factor in Chris and Nancy's isolation from the Peachtree City circle was that, even back then, they had a habit of breaking out in operatic public fights that embarrassed those around them. Nancy had a sharp tongue, especially when she was boozed or pilled up, and she hit all of Chris's buttons. Their friends were hardly surprised when, in June
2003
, Nancy filed for divorce and was granted a temporary restraining order based on an April incident in which Chris, according to Nancy's court papers, “lost his temper and threatened to strike the petitioner and cause extensive damage to the home and personal belongings of the parties, including furniture.” In August, they reconciled and Chris moved back in.

* * *

If Chris wasn't a hermit before he lost his twin anchors of Eddie Guerrero and Johnny Grunge, he became one afterwards. The Benoits built a sprawling new house, in the classic Federal style, at the edge of Fayetteville. They didn't even bother to secure a purchaser for the Peachtree house before moving to the new one — partly because the housing market was in a slump and they didn't need the cash, and partly because Chris wanted nothing more than to wall himself off in a gated mansion, as quickly as possible.

In addition to eschewing wrestlers' funerals, Chris renounced religion. Or maybe he swore by it as much as at it — the distinction wasn't clear. Nancy took him to counseling sessions with their pastor, George Dillard of the Peachtree City Christian Church. Together, husband and wife read the Bible, and he started memorizing passages, which he quoted to friends and family.

Chris's remarks in an email to journalist Greg Oliver shortly after Guerrero's death showed the unrealized objectives of a tortured odyssey:

I know that he has left us but I still feel like I'm going to see him on the road next week. I do not know if I will ever have as good a friend as I did in Eddie. I was able to talk to him about anything in my life, and he was always able to make sense of things or change my perspective.

He was somewhat of a spiritual guide for me. I do not know if you read the Bible at all, or what your beliefs are, and I will respect you for whatever your beliefs are. But if you ever get the opportunity to read about Job, it reminds me so much of Eddie. At one point after coming out of rehab, he had nothing but the clothes on his back. He had physically, mentally, emotionally and monetarily hit rock bottom. He lost his family; his wife and children had left. But he never lost his faith and through it was able to overcome the odds.

Instead of Eddie becoming bitter, Eddie became better. In our business it is really difficult to understand why we do what we do and why we think what we think unless you are in it, unless you have a passion for it. It is so demanding physically, mentally and emotionally in every possible way, but when you love it as did Eddie, as I do, you have a better understanding of why we do what we do.

I do not believe that I will ever find someone that I will bond with and be able to understand and be understood as I was with Eddie. I'm not looking forward to going back on the road, not that I ever did. I hate the road, but I looked forward to Eddie's company and camaraderie. Both of us hated the road, being away from our families, but both of us lived for that in-ring bell-to-bell time.

Without his Three Amigos road partner, Chris was lonelier than ever, but this condition collided with an ironic reality: while the
WWE
schedule remained punishing, it was somewhat more manageable than it used to be. The war with
WCW
was long over, and
WWE
talent no longer needed to be away from their families
300
days a year. Live events were built more than ever around
TV
shoots and pay-per-views; though there were still regular “house” shows, as well, the scheduling was marginally lighter and more rational. In December
2005
, while Nancy recuperated from surgery in which a long-damaged disk in her neck was fused and repaired, the company even gave Chris an extended leave, which also gave him a chance to recover from several nagging injuries.

But even if you could afford the expenses of bouncing back and forth from the road to home (and Chris, who made more than $
500
,
000
a year, could afford it more than most), you had to make choices, and Chris was increasingly choosing to stay away. Like many wrestlers, he liked to say he was a homebody at heart, and like many wrestlers, he seemed to be saying so, with repetition and overwrought sentiment, in an effort to convince himself as much as others. “Quality time with my family is a big vice. It's something I'll fight for and crave,” he told the
Calgary Sun
in
2004
.

The juxtapositions — “quality time,” “vice,” “crave” — showed an inconsistency of more than just rhetoric. The evidence of the last months of Chris and Nancy's lives, including an incomplete record of the text messages from their cell phones, brings into high relief the bitterness of their alienation, spotlighting both specific issues and the general inability of this particular man, in a profession celebrating misogny, to embrace domesticity.

In late March
2007
, Nancy told her mother-in-law that she suspected Chris was not “doing the right thing” on the road. Margaret Benoit said she would talk to Chris about it on his July trip to Canada.

On May
5
, Nancy text-messaged Chris:
“Daniel has called twice today. What you cant bother with him either.”

On the morning of May
9
:
“One night your textgng I love you durin the day you wont talk. Get off the crap your on its makin you passive aggressive and I dont need the abuse.”

Three hours later, the subject was Nancy's charge that Chris had not made himself available to his two kids with Martina, who were visiting from Canada:
“Your big claim ask anyone you work with how you are, know one knows what goes on behind closed doors. and the excuses about not being able to see your kids is your failure in putting no effort to them. paying out lots of money sending for them twice a year is a far cry for being a Dad. you need to get it together. I will not except this steroid enduced rollercoaster ride of emotional abuse. ignoring the problem or running away isnt going to help you face it you need professional and only if your fully honest about all of it.”

That afternoon:
“You don't get it I do not except your emotional and verbal abuse. you want to talk to me your gonna have to put more effort into it than this.”

The next day:
“You are a grown man with three kids set the example are you trying to say this is how you grew up watching your dad call your mom names and make her cry? No then what gives you the right! grow up for mighty sakes get off the stuff its obvious im probably not the only one who can see and we both know the [wwe] wellness program is a joke.”

On the morning of May
12
:
“I tried to put an end to this your the one who is draging it out its stupid you could have been home last your doing.”

That afternoon:
“Daniel has been calling you you need to call him and me too this has gone on long enough i tried to talk to you you could have been at home yesterday.”

That night:
“If you havent figure daniel knows how to dial your cell by pushing phonebook and scrolling to ‘chris cell' hes mad at me cause you havent called be an adult and call. It wont take much more for him to realize its not me hes mad at hes not a baby any more and a message isnt going to be enough.”

May
22
, ex-wife and in-law problems:
“The german christmas ornament would not have bothered me had
[Martina]
not kept asking about it especially when she kept asking about it on my birthday, she tried to ignore me on Mothers Day I called back twice. So when your parents do come I will confront your mom she has put me in the middle this time. I'll handle it. Ten years now, havent been here and now still cant come when the Kids are together. My folks are coming just for the Kids summer holiday. Effort. second on my list to Help. We asked when I had the big surgery. Two years ago. It's enough already. No more excuses just be real!”

On May
26
, Nancy seemed to be mocking Chris's complaint that his hard work was not appreciated by his dependents:
“Money orders every month cant give hugs. you should keep working wouldnt want the ex to miss another four weeks paid while you send for your annual Im a great father summer holiday!”
And:
“What's sixty thousand times ten? six hundred thousand. boy, I feel sorry for you, all that money, time and effort and still no thank you, no thanks for the trips every year, twice, three times at least a year. I wonder does anyone really know when they go to bed at night or eat a meal or wear the clothes they put on how tired you are at the end week or how very very hard it is to work for six hundred thousand. nope, its much easier to have it handed to you with four weeks paid holiday. yuo. no idea what you've lost. no need to worry Ill make sure your sacrifices are well know.”

In another text later that day, Nancy zeroed in on the apparent heart of the matter: Chris's refusal to change the beneficiaries on an old $
250
,
000
life insurance policy, which still listed as beneficiaries Martina and their children:
“If you wanted your exwife to have your retirement fund you would have given to her ten years ago at the divorce. If you wanted her to have more you wouldn't have tried to hide your money. Now it's the point, we are married. I come first.”