Christmas and Forever (6 page)

Liya bowed her head for a second, lifting it when the pang of jealousy and hurt no longer throbbed and battled for supremacy. She had no control over her past or Aidan’s. Furthermore, she had no control whatsoever over what Aidan felt or didn’t feel for her. Yes. That was all there was to it, Liya rationalized. A sense of calm overtook her senses. Across the distance, and beyond the city lights, Liya imagined the lush and vibrant landscape of the snowcapped pine trees and mountains. She found herself really and truly looking forward to the trip up to Bear Ridge. As much as she loved everything the city had to offer, the tranquility of nature was calling. Better yet, make that yelling out to her. The best thing was, without Aidan around she would finally be able to gain some much-needed perspective on how to handle him and return things to the way they were months ago, before she started to see him as so much more than her employer and a dedicated doctor.

Chapter Four

Aidan knew he was behaving like a jealous bastard. But for him, knowing it and trying to curtail his anger were two vastly different entities. He had no reason to feel betrayed by Liya and yet he did. She was just a young girl, and it was ignorant of him to come to the premature conclusion that she didn’t have a boyfriend. For the past two weeks he’d tried not to think about Liya’s offer for him to call if the need existed. This evening after he had ushered a group of third-year medical students through a heart transplant surgery, a sense of loneliness assailed him unlike any he had ever known. Maybe it was bearing witness to the enthusiasm and naiveté on the faces of the students. Aidan wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it kindled a spark within him and Liya was the only person he thought of that could help him through it. He wanted, needed to hear her voice.

On the way home, he’d been petrified and nervous like a teenager at the chance of hearing her voice outside of the clinic. Aidan wanted to talk to her in the privacy of his apartment, to tell her things he had no right to.

And now, days after their encounter along the boulevard, he had no reason to give Liya the cold shoulder, speaking to her only when deemed necessary because he’d seen her in the arms of another man. Worse, the guy had been young. He was so damn close to Liya’s age and also black—in essence, someone she would have so much more in common with than him.

Get a grip, Keegan.
Aidan raked a hand through his hair and checked his watch. It was the Friday before Christmas and the clinic was only open for half the day. On a whim last night he’d packed his bags and made the decision to venture up to Bear Ridge later that day. Despite James’s urging to spend the holiday there, Aidan hadn’t been sure. That is, until he had seen Liya, strolling and giggling with her male companion. He needed to get away. Eradicate her from his mind. The lure of the mountains and quietude would help him get back on track with his emotions.

“I’m going to lock up now,” Liya remarked as she entered the back room.

Aidan took a second from the shelf of immunization vials he was organizing and gave a brief jerk of the head. It was best to keep conversation with her at a minimum, to avoid lashing out at her for his perceived betrayal.

She cleared her throat and regarded him fiercely, although her words carried an air of acceptance. “I should stop coming here, shouldn’t I?”

His heart hammered. Her question made perfect sense. “That’s up to you. You’ve been a valuable member of the staff here—”

She snorted loudly. “Am I? Then why do you treat me like I don’t exist anymore? This week, for example, I can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve spoken to me.”

Tension straddled Aidan’s shoulders. What did Liya wish to hear from him? “I haven’t had much to say to you. I’m not sure what you expected, were expecting, from me.”

Her eyes rounded out into orbs before she pursed her lips. “Then I guess it’s settled. I won’t be coming back after today, Dr. Keegan. I hope you can find someone else to replace me after the holidays.”

Aidan fought back a guffaw. She was dead serious, that much he could see. The new year had yet to kick off, and already it was looking worse than the previous one. Last year he didn’t have anyone he looked forward to seeing during the weekdays. Now all that was to be taken away from him when she left.

He grappled for control and something to say to mask the vulnerability. “I suppose that’s understandable. I’m sure you’d like to have more time for your…personal life.”

“You don’t know anything about my personal life, Aidan. Let’s not pretend.”

His ears perked up. She had switched to his name again. He wished she would stick with it and stop the Dr. Keegan crap whenever she became angry, as well as the more heinous, “Sir”, as she had called him in front of her boyfriend. Once again the reminder of the other man in Liya’s life reeled in another wave of fury. Aidan stared her down, the anger smoldering into arousal that refused to be quelled. His cock hardened painfully. The provoking female standing before him was one hundred percent, all woman.

There was nothing girlish about her, no matter how hard Aidan tried to tell himself she was simply a woman-child. Liya’s luscious curves made him pine to stroke his hands along her hips and plunge his cock into her over and over.

Voice low, Aidan asked, “Would your boyfriend approve of me calling you to talk, as you suggested? Or does he also think I’m harmless after seeing me last night?”

She tilted her head and parted her bow-shaped lips, peering at him with a mixture of confusion and something else he couldn’t identify. Tenderness? Pity? He hoped it was the former.

“Is that what this is about? You saw me outside of work and you’re upset that I was with someone?”

He gritted his teeth. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut?
Bitter old man
. “Upset? You’re an employee here, Ms. Emerson, why should I be upset about your personal life?”

She gave a slow nod and advanced a step closer. “If it makes any difference, he’s not my boyfriend. You’re not the only one who’s lonely, Aidan and you’re not the only one who has been hurt. The only difference is I don’t wear my pain like a badge. You do, and I suppose my greatest wish for you is to toss it out.” She pressed a hand to his chest. His entire body went taut at the electrifying touch. “Would Sarah have wanted you to live like this?”

Sarah. She had said his wife’s name. It felt like she had dashed a bucket of ice-cold water on him. Liya was talking about moving on. Commencing with life, marrying, having more children and all that was included in the life Aidan had wanted with Sarah. She meant for him to do those glorious things with another woman, when he had promised himself to keep Sarah and only Sarah in his heart. Liya was the proverbial temptress, enticing him to betray his promise. Every look, every silken word that fell from her lips made him covet the impossible. Suddenly, everything seemed all too real. His feelings for Liya. The possibility of moving on. It was too much.

Aidan panicked. “You know nothing of what Sarah would have wanted.” He lifted her hand from his chest. “I’m only going to say this once to you: don’t ever mention her name or act like you know anything about the type of person my wife was.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Liya glared while reaching over the counter for her handbag, never taking her eyes off him. “I doubt I’ll see you again. In that case, Merry Christmas, sir, and take care of yourself. In spite of your attitude, you’re an amazing doctor and so many people depend on you. I only hope you won’t forget that.”

He couldn’t seem to stop himself from talking. “That’s just it, isn’t it, Liya? If I didn’t have the clinic and my work at the hospital, what else is there for me? Would there be a reason for anyone to need me? I know my shortcomings.”

“And I know mine, but that doesn’t mean I plan to spend the rest of my life alone.”

Aidan let out a harsh breath. “What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say?”

Liya’s fingers grazed the door handle. “For starters, you could wish me a ‘Merry Christmas’. Since this is likely the last time we’ll see each other, Dr. Keegan.”

He was beside her in an instant, halting her motion with his hand above hers. Her quick intake of breath whistled across the room. Eyes bright and shiny, she held his gaze. So many damn promises inside those charcoal eyes, he thought. Liya was hanging on his every syllable and true to form, Aidan knew his next words would disappoint.

“Merry Christmas.”

She shook her head and quirked her lips to the side as if she understood everything that went unsaid. “Take care of yourself, Doc.”

Seconds later, Liya was gone. Aidan thumped his fist against the wall. Was he going to allow her to walk away and possibly out of his life forever? Liya had said the man wasn’t her boyfriend, and the relief he’d felt upon hearing that was insurmountable. He had to get her. Aidan sprang toward the door and held the handle. His mind worked overtime, all of his insecurities tumbling and crashing into the next, upending his thoughts. What if he did go out there and stop her? What would happen if he grabbed Liya’s soft hands, crushing her to him and burying his face in her neck? Would he be rewarded with the feel of her soft arms around him? Would she tell him that he wasn’t just useful as a doctor, and that he could be the man for her? Could he even be the man for her?

Aidan looked down at his leg. Liya was aware of the injury, but she was clueless about the damage and ugly scar that was left behind. On the other hand, Liya had seen him at his worst, limping and still, she continued to hint at her feelings for him.

He thought again about the horrendous curves life had slung his way. It wasn’t fair, that much was for sure. And it was more of a burden than one man should have to bear. At the same time, it was a refrain he was getting tired of repeating.

He needed to call Liya before he left for the cabin. Allowing her to walk out of his life was not an option. Aidan whipped the cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. If there was one thing he had learned about Liya, she was true to her word and kept her promises.

The trill of the phone reverberated in his ear. Aidan crossed his fingers. His heart slammed inside his chest as he waited, hoping to hear her voice. On the fourth ring, her voice came through, faint and distant.

Shit. She couldn’t hear him. No wonder, the connection was shot and in no time the phone reverted to the startup screen. Dropped call. Knowing Liya, her phone battery had died. Much like forgetting to wear gloves on the coldest morning, she had forgotten to keep her phone fully charged. Disheartened, Aidan tossed the phone on the counter. Useless. For now, he would leave her alone until after he returned from the cabin and the holiday atmosphere was behind them

Chapter Five

The cabin was deserted. Outside in the cold, Liya surveyed the snowy landscape. It was just as she had imagined. Behind the cabin in the distance, the Appalachian Mountains stretched toward the overcast skies, shaded in a blanket of snow. Save for a chipmunk scampering across the sparse limb of a maple tree, which was flanked by several overgrown coniferous pines, she was alone.

Unless she had hit her head and the date was wrong, it was Friday afternoon. She had expected to see the others milling about upon their arrival. Liya crossed the entrance to the log cabin and rang the doorbell. She pressed her nose to the chafing surface of the double window, peeking to see if anyone was inside. Not a soul. Frowning, she wondered if she had been tricked. But why? It didn’t make any sense. None of the doctors seemed mean-spirited. She trudged through the snow, the icy clumps coming all the way up to her boot-clad calves, and made her way back to the car. Maybe they had cancelled the get-together and tried to contact her. She opened the driver’s side door and pulled her phone off the seat, recalling that Aidan had also attempted to contact her before the connection flat-lined. The battery was dead.

No wonder. She sighed and slumped against the driver’s-side door. What a bust. She wasn’t ready to trudge back down the mountain slope and spend Christmas alone. The drive back would be exceptionally grim in light of the disappointment.

Mind made up, Liya eased into the seat, pausing at the distant sound of an approaching car in the falling snow. She ambled out and slammed the door. If it hadn’t been for the pelting snow she would have immediately recognized the sedan. Liya blinked and squinted her eyes against the mist

Aidan! That was Aidan’s car. Her mind whirred. What was he doing here? She leaned against a tree and waited for his car to brake. She hadn’t expected to see him again. Blood coursed through her veins so hot, the winter’s eve seemed like a late spring afternoon. Her heart bubbled with excitement. She maneuvered out into the open.

“Aidan?”

His eyes scanned the area before bringing his attention to her, confusion plain as the stubble of hair on his jaw. “Liya, what are you doing here?”

She forced a smile. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Brows furrowed he continued to gape at her as if she had lost her mind. “I asked you a serious question. How did you find out about this place and what are you doing here?”

“I came here to spend the holiday.” She frowned and looked around at the emptiness. “At least I thought I did.”

“How did you get the address?”

“What’s wrong with you?” She didn’t like his tone implying that she had done something wrong. “Dr. Northrop invited me here for the holidays, but it looks like they might have canceled and tried to contact me. What are
you
doing here?”