Christmas Holiday Husband (20 page)

But worse—far, far worse—would be Cal’s reaction. What had she done?

“
I had a Dad all the time, Mum, and you didn’t tell me. Even when you knew, you didn’t tell me. I hate you Mum. I want to be with my Dad.”
She heard his voice so clearly he might have been in the room with her. And what could she say to refute his accusations? Nothing.

She bowed her head, stricken, shamed, shaking, and finally rose to rinse the acrid taste from her mouth. Then she crept back to the bed, and curled up, aching and trembling, knees tight against her chest like a scared child.

After a few minutes she reached out and separated the photos, setting them side by side to compare them. Huge tears blurred her vision, leaked down her face, and soaked into her pillow.

She had no idea how long she lay there, desolate and inconsolable, but she stirred at the polite tap on her half open door.

“Ellie? Are you all right, dear? Are you coming down for lunch?” Ginny’s kindly voice enquired.

Ellie moaned—a hopeless terrified sound. Ginny hurried in and laid a concerned hand on her brow. “Oh my dear girl, whatever’s wrong? Please—whatever’s wrong?”

She flapped a hopeless hand toward the two photographs. “My son is Tony’s child,” she choked. “Tony’s found out about him. He’s left me this to show me he knows...” She collapsed into wracking sobs again.

Ginny drew a fast breath and lowered herself onto a nearby chair. Ellie continued to sob. A few minutes later the distant beat of the helicopter intruded into the strained atmosphere of the room.

“You’ll have to be very brave, Ellie,” Ginny said, standing again. “We need to smarten you up. That’s Tony bringing your son back to the farm. He swore me to secrecy. Said he’d arranged it as a surprise for you now school’s out because you were missing Callum so much.”

She reached for the photos and inspected them more closely. “I had no idea about the relationship of course, but they’re peas from the same pod, all right.” She raised an eyebrow and looked at Ellie with motherly compassion. “Can you do it? Can you manage to look pleased for your boy?”

She set the photos down again, crossed to the bathroom, turned on a tap, and returned with a cold, damp flannel. She briskly washed Ellie’s face and smoothed her hair back as though she was one of the twins. “Lie there a minute with this over your eyes.” She folded the cool cloth into a pad and handed it to a stunned Ellie.

“I’ve been sick,” Ellie muttered, obediently reclining and pressing the welcoming dampness over her face.

“Some perfume then,” Ginny said. “Have you brushed your teeth?”

The helicopter throbbed raucously close now. Ellie listened until it settled, then levered herself up from the bed. She staggered to the bathroom, gave her teeth a rapid minty scrub, heaved a huge sigh, applied some lip gloss, and stood there blinking at Ginny. “Will I do?” she quavered.

“Quite a transformation. Have you time for a lick of eye-shadow? Just to disguise the redness in your eyes?”

Ellie fumbled amongst her small cosmetic collection and smoothed on some grey-blue frosted powder. “God help me,” she groaned at her reflection. “Thank you Ginny. I couldn’t have managed it without you. What the hell happens now?”

“Let’s watch for them from the balcony—it’ll give you a little more time, and the fresh air will help.”

“I don’t think anything much will help.” But she followed Ginny out through the French doors and leaned on the surrounding parapet until Cal and Tony came into view.

The breeze blew down from the hills. The scent of the pine forest wafted strong and fresh. Any other day she’d have breathed it in with pleasure; today it barely registered. She’d fixed her whole panicked attention on the two figures below.

Tony’s stride was long and purposeful. His eyes were hidden by sunglasses, and he prowled like a beast after prey. Callum was the prey—skipping ahead of him, full of eager anticipation, and never knowing the havoc his sudden appearance had caused.

Tony said something, and Cal glanced upward and waved. “Mum! Mum! We came in the helicopter!”

“I heard you land,” she called back. “I’ll be right down.”

She and Ginny turned together.

Ginny paused by the telltale photographs and nodded. “Not much doubt, is there?”

“No doubt at all,” Ellie replied. “Tony was the only man I ever slept with. Even if Callum had turned out short and fat and blond, he’d still be Tony’s.”

Ginny let out an amused squawk at the reply, and the two of them descended the stairs, spluttering helplessly, although more from nerves than mirth.

xxx

She couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t meet whatever accusations his dark gaze held. Her eyes went straight to Callum as he ran toward her under the shady portico. She hugged him close. “What a fantastic surprise for me, Cal! I’ve only just found out you were on your way. We’ll have to make your bed up, won’t we?”

She turned her back on Tony, tucking an arm around her son, hoping to put on a good enough show to fool him. But still Tony’s menacing presence intruded.

Fingers of unease ran up and down her spine as she led Cal into the entrance hall. Tony paced close behind, carrying a small suitcase that Ellie recognised as her mother’s. He eased ahead as the boy stood staring at the curving timber staircase with obvious awe.

“I’ll get the bed set up for you,” he called over his shoulder. They trailed him up to the gallery, and he entered The Blue Room uninvited. Ellie raised a hand to stop him, but he silenced her with a hard glance.

She blanched as he headed straight for the photos, then relaxed as he opened the top drawer, pushed them in, and slammed it closed. He turned to the wardrobe where the folding bed was stored. “Can you give me a hand, Cal? It’s a bit tricky.”

“Sure, Robbie!” He was his father’s willing slave already.

“Sheets,” said Ginny, appearing at the door a few moments later. “Pillows and blankets are on the wardrobe shelf. Let me know if you want more.” She sent Ellie a brief smile. “Lunch in five minutes everyone.”

xxx

Tony settled onto the lounger next to Ellie an hour later while Ginny kept the three children occupied in the pool. Cal wore swim-shorts he’d treated him to before they flew out to Wharemoana. A very small token, given how much he’d missed out on.

“How could you
do
that to me?” Ellie hissed. “How could you leave me to face something like this with no notice, no preparation?”

Tony turned in her direction, hoping his sunglasses hid the intensity of his emotions. “I wanted to meet him. I
had
to meet him.”

“You could have asked!”

“I asked. I gave you plenty of opportunities...”

Ellie’s breasts rose as she dragged in a breath. “Such as when, exactly?”

“You said he was only nine when Ants was talking about the Tooth Fairy. If you’d said ten I’d have had a clue, and we could have discussed it reasonably from there.”

“Reasonably? I doubt you know the meaning of the word.”

“He’s my
son
, Ellie. It’s a hell of a thing to find out.”

“It’s a hell of a thing to try and discuss reasonably—that’s for sure.”

Her panicked voice sliced chunks off his hard-held composure. He thrust a hand back over his hair and expelled a sharp breath. “You should have told me the truth on the beach. I gave you all sorts of openings.”

“You gave me nothing of the kind. You bombarded me with questions and grabbed me against my will.”

“Yeah,” he drawled. “I really noticed you objecting—rubbing yourself all over me like a bitch on heat.”

She shot him a venomous glare. “Take those bloody glasses off and look me in the eye, Tony. Like a bitch on
heat
?” Her voice rose to a disbelieving squeak.

“You wanted me,” he said, lips compressed, yanking at the glasses and returning his furious gaze to her.

“Like a hole in the head. And we’re off the subject. Dumping that photo there for me to find was the cruellest thing anyone’s ever done to me.”

“Apart from leaving you pregnant in the first place.”

He wondered if Ellie would hear the regret in his voice. Hoped so much she would, but she ignored his tentative apology.

“You didn’t know that, Tony.
I
didn’t know for weeks. I was on the pill—it shouldn’t have happened.”

“On the pill for a bit of holiday fun, I suppose?” he couldn’t help suggesting.

She raised her chin and stared him down. “On the pill for irregular periods, if it’s any of your business. Not on it long enough to be safe from your super-high stud farm fertility, more’s the pity.”

He gave a sudden amused snort and tried to stop it from becoming a full blown laugh. “Why didn’t you let me know you were pregnant?” he said with more softness.

“How could I? Where the hell
were
you? In the outback? In India? Crossing the Sahara Desert for all I knew. How could I have found you? I did make an effort later, but it wasn’t easy. And I really bet you wanted a pregnant teenager chasing you around the world to wreck your holiday.”

Then he saw she’d made the connection.

“On the
beach
?” she exploded. “You knew
then
?”

He nodded, discomforted. “I saw Cal’s photo beside your bed,” he said very quietly, casting a glance out over the pool to ensure they hadn’t attracted anyone’s attention. “And that just demolished me. Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you arrived here and found it was me? That he was mine?”

xxx

Ellie chose to ignore those queries to gain some much needed time. Her fevered brain raced and swooped like a flock of panicked sparrows. “What were you doing in my room?”

“Ginny gave me some laundry to bring up. I wasn’t snooping.”

She shot him a suspicious glare and then fell silent for a few moments. “But why did you do it like this?” she pleaded. “Why just foist it onto me?”

He grimaced. “I thought,” he muttered, “that you might disappear again and I’d never get to meet him. You already had me scared silly, thinking you had another man somewhere...”

“Quite a young one, as it happens,” she said with the ghost of a grin.

“I wasn’t to know that, was I? You didn’t want me to know. You’re so damned self-contained.”

“I’ve had to be.” She watched as he dragged in a deep breath.

“Well, you don’t have to be now. Reconsider. Marry me.”

Crimson fury bloomed in her brain. “
What?
You can’t be serious? Did I not make myself perfectly clear earlier?

“It’s easy now this is out in the open. Marry me. Live here. You and me and Cal and the twins. One proper family.”

Ellie produced a snort worthy of a Clydesdale. “That’d suit you beautifully wouldn’t it? Instant mother. Instant wife. Sex on tap. All the arguments you came up with last time. What about
me
? What about
Cal
?”

He grasped her arm, bristling with frustration. “You’d both live here of course. You’d have a great life.”

She cast a deliberate glance down to his hand. He gentled his grip and then released it to run his fingers down to hers. She shook him away.

“I already have a life, Tony. A life I’ve made for myself. A life I’m very happy with, thank you.” She watched as his eyes hardened again. “Cal doesn’t know you’re his father, and I don’t want him knowing. You can be the big hero called Robbie for a couple of days and then he goes back to town with me, none the wiser.”

Tony pinned her to the spot with his furious gaze. “Two days after ten long years?” he queried, disbelief obvious in every syllable. “Is that all you’re willing to agree to? No Ellie—I want him here for longer than that. I want to get to know him. I want him to get to know
me
.”

She closed her eyes, searching for patience. “Think about it from his point of view, Tony. He’s never had a father. I told him you were dead. It...solved a problem.”

“He wanted to know?” Tony demanded.

“Of
course
he wanted to know. Everyone wants to know about their parents. So I can’t suddenly produce you after all these years. Someone who’s lived only a few hours from home. It’s too cruel.” She regarded him with exasperation. “I can’t do it to him,” she snapped, as Tony opened his mouth to say something further.

“But you can do it to me?” His voice was silky now.

She swallowed. “You’re grown up. You can take it.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

The quiet words hung between them as they watched his children squealing and splashing a dozen yards away.

“He’s the twins’ brother, Ellie. They’d love a big brother. And wouldn’t he want to know he has sisters? I was an only child.
You’re
an only child. Didn’t you feel—a bit too singular?”