Christmas In Silver Bell Falls (13 page)

Melanie nodded.  “Definitely!  I may ask you to design all of my banners from now on!”

For a minute she thought the older woman was going to cry but instead she grabbed Melanie and hugged her tight.  “You have no idea how much that means to me.”  She stepped away and wiped at her eyes.  “My ex-husband always told me I wasn’t talented and had no skills.  So to hear someone like you praise my work just means the world to me.”

Melanie made a mental note to reach out to Erika again for banners and maybe more graphics for future books.  “Should I take a seat?” she asked.

For the next few minutes, Erika helped her get settled and showed her where her extra pens were along with extra books.  “We have an assistant for you too,” Erika explained.  “Aimee’s a senior at Silver Bell Falls High School and she’s interested in journalism.  She was very excited when we told her she’d be assisting you.”

Melanie took her seat and smiled.  “Well then, I can’t wait to meet her.”

“And if either of you need anything and can’t find me, just ask for Ruth, Shelly, Sue or Chrissy—Aimee knows who they are—and they’ll get it for you.  They’re all part of the committee.”

For the next two hours, Melanie signed books.  She ran out of them and then was signing pretty much anything people could find for her to sign.  Aimee was by her side and would get up and get her something to drink or snack on and even managed to scrounge up some flyers that Erika quickly threw together with Melanie’s book covers on them.

By the time Josiah came for her, she was completely exhausted.  “So you sold out of all of them, huh?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear.

It was the first time that had happened for her at an event and Melanie had to admit it felt pretty darn good.  “I couldn’t believe how quickly they went,” she said as she stood up.  After introducing Josiah to Aimee, Melanie thanked the girl for all of her help and promised to look over a short story she’d written for one of her classes.  Taking Josiah’s hand, she made her way around the table and they began walking around the room to see the rest of the craft vendors.

“So…” he began, “did you have a good time?”

“You know what?  I did,” she said, looking up at him with a big smile on her face.  They walked hand in hand through the crowd, talking to people as they made their way around and looked at the different holiday crafts that people were selling. “The fans were amazing and I couldn’t believe how many of them there were!  They were even calling out to me on the parade route!”

“Some of them had signs too,” Josiah said playfully as he nudged her shoulder.  “I think there was a trio of ladies near the end of the route who even had a banner with your picture on it!”

“I know!  That was…” She paused and thought about it for a minute, “Alima, Isha and Michele!  They were so friendly and super sweet and I think I’m going to their book club meeting next week. Honestly, Josiah, this was probably the most enthusiastic crowd I’ve ever had at a signing.  They were wonderful.”

“I knew they would be.”

Melanie had no idea what it was she was looking for as they strolled around but she was simply having a good time looking.  There were tables loaded with everything from cakes and cookies to holiday home décor like candles and centerpieces. She and Josiah stopped and talked to a ton of different people and as they came around to the last row of tables, she saw someone who seemed to be selling ornaments.  “Oooh!” she cried.  “Look!  We need to go over there!”  Tugging Josiah with her, they made their way over to the table.

For several minutes she looked at the variety of handmade ornaments.  Some were ceramic, some were blown glass and some were made of wood.  Melanie picked up one and then another and then another until she found it.

The perfect ornament.

It was a small wooden wreath with a heart in the middle that simply said “love.”  It was hand-painted and everything about it seemed to speak to Melanie.  Within minutes, she had paid for it and had it wrapped in tissue paper in a small gift bag.  When she turned to Josiah, he had that look on his face—the same one he had the day they’d made love in front of their tree.

“It seemed like the perfect ornament,” she said quietly.

He swallowed hard and if she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was too choked up to speak.  All he did was nod and pull her in close to kiss her on the top of her head.

They casually made their way out of the tent and to Josiah’s car.  He held the door open for her and before she climbed in, she stopped and studied him.  “You okay?”

He nodded again.

“Did you like the ornament I picked?”

Another nod.

“Oh.”  A little part of her was disappointed.  It wasn’t as if she wanted him to throw a parade in her honor over an ornament, but it would have been nice if he at least told her—with words—that he liked it.  She was just about to sit down when Josiah’s hand on her arm stopped her.  She looked up at him expectantly.

“Every year I come to this craft fair,” he began quietly.  “I have to be here in official capacity but I always take time to walk around and check out everyone’s tables and compliment them on what they’ve made.”  He paused.  “For the last several years, whenever I stop at Hank and Lisa’s table, I think about how incredible their ornaments are.”

“Hank and Lisa?”

“They’re the ones who made your ornament,” he clarified.  “Hank does all the woodwork by hand. He’s been doing it for years and I’ve always marveled at it but never bought anything.  And then today, you saw them and it was like…you knew.”

This time it was Melanie’s turn to nod because that’s exactly what it was like.  And there was nothing she could say, because without any words, they managed to say it all.

Chapter Seven

A week before Christmas, Josiah walked into Melanie’s bedroom and froze.  “You’re packing?”

Looking over her shoulder at him, she nodded.

“But…why?  You still have another six weeks here.  And…and Christmas is a week away.  We said we’d spend it together.”  Everything in him was in panic mode and he didn’t know how to stop it.

“I sent my rough draft of the book to my editor on Monday.  She’d been so anxious about it that I sent it without doing any of my own edits,” Melanie said while still folding clothes.  “Anyway, she got it and she loves it.  I need to go into Manhattan for a few days to meet with her and while I’m there I’m also meeting with my grandmother’s attorney.”

Josiah frowned.  “For what?”

“I never contacted him like I said I would about starting the paperwork for me so I could sell the property to you at the end of the three months.”

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, he thought.  She wasn’t supposed to still be thinking about selling him the property or leaving because in his mind, she was always going to stay.  Walking over to her, he gently grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him.  “Mel, I don’t understand what’s going on.”

She looked at him curiously.  “It’s pretty obvious, Josiah.  I need to go away for a few days and take care of some things.  I’m coming back.”

He wanted to relax—maybe even sigh with relief—but he felt like her leaving was going to change everything.  “You’re sure you’re coming back?” he asked tentatively.

Melanie smiled at him.  “Of course I’m coming back.  I have six more weeks that I have to stay here for.”

Josiah’s hands instantly dropped away and he took a few steps back and cursed.

“What?  What’s the matter?”

This wasn’t the discussion he wanted to have and he hated feeling like he was forced into it, but clearly there were some things that needed to be said.  “Is that the only reason you’re coming back?  Because your grandmother’s will dictates it?”

The smile she gave him was patient and it just irritated him even more.

“I’m serious, Melanie,” he snapped.  “We’ve spent every day together for six weeks!  I thought we were building something here but at the end of the day, you’re still going around treating this like it’s some sort of arrangement!”

“That’s not true!” she cried.

“Then tell me how it is that with everything we’ve shared you can still stand here and talk about leaving at the end of January!  How is it that you’re still focused on selling me this property?”

“You want this property!  Hell, you should have gotten it, not me!  We both know that!  I’m just trying to make it right!”

He raked a hand through his hair in frustration.  He cursed again.  “I don’t give a damn about the property!  It’s you that I want!”

Her shoulders sagged and she slowly approached him.  “I want you too, Josiah.  I just don’t want this hanging between us.  I know what it’s like to want something so badly and then have it taken away.  I’ve lived with it my whole life.  You gave up so much in hopes of buying this land.  I just want to get through the three months so we can do it right and then I can sign it over to you and it will be yours and everything will be okay.”

“Wait, wait, wait…sign it over to me?” he asked incredulously.  “What does that mean?”

She sighed.  “I wanted it to be a surprise.  I’m not selling the property to you; I’m going to the lawyer so I can simply sign it over to you when the terms of the will are met.  Then it will be yours.”

He shook his head.  “Uh-uh.  No way.  You’re not signing anything over to me.  I am buying the property from you at market value.  That’s not negotiable.”

“Why are you being so stubborn about this?” she cried with frustration. 

“Because it’s not right!  I’ve planned on buying this land for years!  I’ve worked my ass off to save the money for it and there’s no way I’m going to just take it.  I’m not a charity case!”

“Josiah,” she began, trying to sound calmer, “it’s not charity. This should have been yours to begin with.  I have no ties to this place—you do.  Please.  I want this to be yours.”

Her words should have made him feel better, but they didn’t.  “The property could be ours, Mel,” he said.  “Yours and mine.  I love you.  I want to marry you.  There’s no reason to draw up contracts or talk to lawyers.  I want us to be together and we can start a life together here.  We can tear down the cabin and build a place that is well and truly ours.”  His heart was beating like he’d run a marathon and it wasn’t until he was done speaking that he saw Melanie had paled and she wasn’t smiling.

Maybe he was speaking too soon or maybe he shouldn’t have blurted it out quite like he did but…he had seriously hoped for a different reaction.  “I’ve never hidden how I feel about you,” he said gruffly.  “I know in the beginning we said this was a temporary thing but somewhere along the way, that changed.”  He paused and saw her expression hadn’t changed.  “I guess it was only for me.”

Melanie let out a shaky breath.  “You have to know how much you mean to me,” she said quietly.  “I never expected this—you—any of it.  I was so angry when I got here and then there you were and you…you make me see things differently.  I’m not so angry anymore and for that I will always be thankful.”

Josiah wasn’t sure what she was getting at but so far it wasn’t a declaration of love.

“Melanie, I love you.  I fell in love with you when you were angry and when you resented the fact that you had to be here.  I love our talks and the way you’re so open about your feelings.”  He paused again.  “But I need to know how you feel about me.  Call it insecurity or at this point just damn curiosity, but I need to know where I stand with you.”

Her blue eyes welled with tears.  “You mean the world to me,” she said quietly.  “When you’re not here, I miss you so much that it scares me.”

He hated how needy he sounded.  “But…”

“But we haven’t talked about so many things.  In your mind you see us married and living here in Silver Bell and building a house and a life here.  That’s your dream but…I’m not so sure it’s mine.”

Okay.  Wow.  Josiah had no idea what to do with that.  “Is it me or is it the town?”

She visibly swallowed.  “I have a life back in Raleigh.  My father is there.  My friends are there.  My house is there.  Josiah, I…I just don’t know if I can walk away from all of it.”

He took a step away from her and then another.  “But you can walk away from me.” 

“Don’t…” she said, reaching for him but her feet never moved.  “It’s not like that.”

He smiled at her sadly.  “It’s exactly like that,” he said and then turned and walked out of the room.  Out of the house.

And quite possibly, out of her life.

****

She stood there long after the front door had closed.  So many feelings were running through her—anxiety, fear, sadness, anger—and she wasn’t sure which one was at the top of the list.  Her heart beat madly as she slowly left the room and walked out to the living room.  The Christmas scene there seemed to mock her. 

Another Christmas ruined.

Perfect.

The night before, Josiah had put what seemed like a small mountain of gifts under the tree.  He had said they were gifts for his family but there were no tags on any of them and she had a sneaky suspicion they were for her.  Ironically, she had a pile of gifts for him hidden away in her bedroom closet.  As much as it pained her to admit it, she had really been looking forward to Christmas this year.  For the first time in…forever…she had been hopeful.  But the universe won out because it clearly wanted her never to enjoy a Christmas again.

Ever.

****

All Josiah wanted to do was pace, but it wasn’t nearly as satisfying when he was doing it in such a confined space.  The whole damn tiny house thing had seemed so perfect and logical at one point, but right now it just pissed him off.

And to be honest, he wasn’t sure which particular topic pissed him off more—the fact that Melanie was going out of town without talking to him about it, that she still planned on going back to Raleigh at the end of three months and just walking away from their relationship, or maybe the fact that she had planned on giving him the damn property as if he were a charity case.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was that even though he said the words to her out loud and told her he loved her, she still hadn’t said it back.

Right now, all of it was fighting for the top spot and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.  She had to go and meet with her publisher—that was a given.  It was her job, her livelihood and there was no way he would tell her or ask her not to go.  But the lawyer?  Yeah, that was a completely different story. 

They hadn’t talked about it—not since those first few days and to be honest, Josiah had forgotten about it.  That probably had something to do with him not wanting to think about the end of the three months Melanie was supposed to be there.  Call it delusional, but in his mind, she wasn’t going to go back to Raleigh.  Well, that wasn’t completely true.  He knew she was going to have to go back there to tie up loose ends, but in the end she was going to be with him in Silver Bell.

Clearly he was wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…she said she was coming back after her meetings and how she’d stay the three months and how he meant the world to her.

The world.

Not love.

Dammit.

So now what?  She was going to be gone for a few days and Christmas was right around the corner.  Her gifts were under the tree and he had planned on sweeping her off her feet.  How could he possibly go through with it now?  If they weren’t heading in the same direction, how was he supposed to sit there and spend Christmas with her without slowly devastating himself?

It sucked.  The entire situation sucked.

The silver lining—if he had to find one—was that he was apparently going to have a few days to think about it and figure out what it was he was supposed to do.  Did he continue to woo her when she came back or give her space?

“I have no freaking idea,” he muttered and sat down on his sofa, closing his eyes as he threw his head back.  “No freaking clue at all.”

It was dark out and if he knew one thing, it was that Melanie wasn’t leaving tonight.  She wasn’t going to fly out or drive six hours to get to Manhattan until tomorrow at least.

He’d offer to go with her, but it wouldn’t solve anything.  The time apart would be helpful for him to get his head together and figure out what he was going to do.  And maybe it would help Melanie by giving her time to think about Josiah’s proposal for their future.

****

The following evening, Melanie sat in her upscale hotel room in Manhattan staring out at the skyline and sighed.  Josiah hadn’t come back to the cabin and she took a cab to the airport.  She hated leaving things the way they had, but there hadn’t been much of a choice.

All day he had been on her mind—to the point that her editor playfully smacked her in the head and told her to snap out of it.  It was exactly what she needed and from that point on, even though he was still there, Melanie was able to engage in her meeting about the Christmas book.  Her entire editing team was thrilled with what she’d written and they brainstormed together and worked through the weak points.  When someone asked her what had finally inspired her, Josiah’s name was the first thing that came to mind.

After the meeting, Christine had taken her to dinner and questioned her a lot more about what had finally gotten her out of her funk.  That’s when Melanie pretty much broke down and shared the whole story of her relationship with Josiah.  It felt so good to talk to someone about it and she was thankful Liza simply let her talk before offering any suggestions.

“It seems to me you’re in love with him,” Christine said.  “It’s obvious.  So why are you fighting it?”

“I’m not fighting it.  Not really,” Melanie replied weakly. 

“So what’s the hang-up?”

Melanie looked at her and felt like she was on the verge of tears.  “It’s so soon,” she cried.  “And we don’t agree on where it is we see ourselves living.”

“It’s because it’s a Christmas town, isn’t it?”

Melanie nodded.

Elbows on the table, Christine leaned toward her.  “Okay, at the end of the day, what matters more to you—being with Josiah or not dealing with the biggest holiday of the year?”

“That’s not fair, Chris!  It’s not that simple!”

“So make it that simple!  What’s so great about living in Raleigh?  You’re a writer and you can work from anywhere!”

“My father is in Raleigh—and my house, my friends…everything!”

“Have you talked to your father about it?”

Melanie hesitated.

“That’s what I thought,” Christine said confidently, leaning back in her chair.  “Look, I can sit here all night and tell you why you should do it, but it’s something only you can decide.  I know you and your dad are super close so really, you need to talk to him.  Maybe he can give you some direction.”

Now, hours later, Melanie knew she needed to take that advice.  Grabbing her phone, she sat on the bed and called her father.