Christmas Steele (10 page)

“Why maybe?” She thought he liked Jason.

“Jason is a good man, but he has a lot of
baggage. Baggage can weigh even the best man down. I think he needs
to purge some of what he’s holding onto before he can commit to
anyone.”

Great, so not only was Jason afraid of
commitment, but he was also one of the walking wounded. He was like
the perfect off-limits bad boy, just waiting to be reformed and
tamed. “I don’t want to love Jason,” Lacy declared.

“But you do,” her grandfather said. He didn’t
seem to expect an answer, which was good because Lacy had none to
give.

Chapter 10

The cookies were baked. The tree was up. Now
all that was left for Lacy to do was to finish her Christmas
shopping. But that was easier said than done. Money was no object
anymore, so her budget wasn’t what was stopping Lacy. And she had
already bought presents for her mother and grandmother. The problem
was the men in her life. What was she going to buy for her father,
grandfather, Jason, and Tosh? And Sean, she should probably buy
something for him, too, although that was pretty easy; she could
simply buy him a new videogame.

Inspired by her grandfather’s thoughtfulness,
she wanted to think outside the box, but where to begin? Her father
was easy compared to everyone else; he was a passionate golfer. Now
that he was retired and living in Florida, he had plenty of time
and energy to indulge his hobby. He never grew tired of anything
related to golf. Perhaps Lacy was taking the generic way out, but
why not buy him what he liked? She would find another golfer, ask
his opinion, and buy whatever he told her.

With one man marked off her list that left
only her grandfather, Tosh, and Jason. Lacy didn’t want to spend
the day shopping alone, but her grandparents lacked the stamina to
keep up with a full day of power shopping, and her parents were
once again busy catching up with friends. After yesterday’s rescue,
she was loathe to call Jason—who was probably working anyway—and
that left only Tosh.

“Can you play hooky today?” she asked as soon
as he answered his phone.

He gave the longsuffering sigh that had
become his trademark lately, the one that told her he was
exhausted. “Sure, why not?” he said, surprising them both. By the
time he showed up at her house, he was almost giddy at the thought
of taking a day off work.

“I have to be back in time for tonight’s
party, though,” he warned her.

“What’s tonight?”

“The Daughters of the American Revolution.
And, yes, before you ask, I have to dress in revolutionary regalia
which they kindly provided for me, complete with one of those three
corner hats.”

“Why do you have to attend the DAR
party?”

“I dunno. Episcopalians and the DAR go hand
in hand somehow. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I just want to
relax and forget work before I have to get my George Washington
groove on.”

“Your life is odd, Tosh,” she told him.

He grinned. “I prefer to say it’s
interesting. So who are we shopping for today?”

“You, Grandpa, and Dad.” She trailed off,
looking out the window.

“That’s it?” he added, knowing her too
well.

“Jason, too.”

The answering silence was significant.
“Okay,” he drawled at last.

“Are you shopping?” she asked.

“No, I’m done.”

“How did you get done already when you’ve
been so busy?”

“I don’t procrastinate, unlike some people I
know,” he said.

“I didn’t mean to procrastinate. It just
sneaked up on me this year.”

“It has a way of doing that,” Tosh agreed.
“Where are we going?”

She directed him to the larger mall in the
next town, knowing it had a golf store and she would at least be
able to check her dad off her list. On the way, she told him about
the gift from her grandfather and asked him what she should get for
him.

“You have a lot of money now,” Tosh pointed
out. “What’s something you can get for him that he might not be
able to afford for himself?”

“I have no idea,” Lacy said. “He doesn’t seem
to care much about material things. All he really wants is to have
a good relationship with my mom, and I can’t buy that.”

“But you can buy them some time together,”
Tosh said. “How about tickets for him and your grandmother to visit
Florida?”

“Tosh, that’s brilliant,” Lacy exclaimed,
clutching his bicep in excitement. “Why didn’t I think of that?
Grandma never goes to Florida anymore since she stopped driving
long distances, and she’s a little afraid of flying. Sending him
along with her is the perfect ruse to get him down there. Mom will
have to understand that Grandma can’t make the trip by herself.
Won’t she?”

Tosh shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes
people get an idea stuck in their heads, and it’s hard to change.
Like your mom’s resentment of Mr. Middleton. Like you believing you
need to buy a present for a man who’s not me. Crazy.”

Lacy smiled, squeezing his bicep. “You’re
both my friends; don’t be jealous, Tosh.”

“Oh, Lacy, I’m so far beyond jealous there
isn’t a word for what I am,” Tosh said.

Lacy wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so she
didn’t. Instead, the topic moved on to Tosh regaling her with some
stories from the parties he had attended lately. He could always
make her laugh, and today was no exception as he caught her up on
the petty disagreements of his parishioners. She supposed he
technically wasn’t supposed to tell her the things he did, but she
never repeated what he said, and who else was he supposed to talk
to? Everyone needed to unload once in a while, even pastors who
were supposed to be above it all.

In the end, they had a perfect day together,
strolling through the mall, talking and laughing as they shopped.
Tosh turned out to be very helpful when it came to carrying Lacy’s
father’s present, which was large, awkward, and heavy. Maybe golf
was good exercise, because she was exhausted just from shopping for
clubs.

She couldn’t buy Tosh’s present while he was
there, and she didn’t feel comfortable buying for Jason in front of
him, but she knew what she was going to get for both of them. Tosh
needed a way to relax and decompress. After playing video games
with Sean, Lacy knew a new game system was the prescription for
Tosh. He didn’t have a system, for whatever reason, but she knew he
enjoyed games because they had talked about it.

Even though it was difficult to think about
Jason when she was with Tosh, he hadn’t been far from Lacy’s mind
during the day. She kept picturing him returning to his treeless,
lonely house and the image made her sad. All of a sudden she knew
what she was going to buy him for Christmas, but she would need
help, and she knew just where to get it. As soon as she and Tosh
finished lunch, she escaped to the bathroom and pulled out her
phone, pushing a number she kept on speed dial.

“Travis, it’s Lacy,” she said. Travis was an
officer at the jail. He and Lacy had become good friends ever since
her grandmother’s incarceration.

“I know; I recognized your ringtone. Why are
you whispering?”

“Because I’m in a public bathroom. I was
wondering if you could do me a favor,” she said.

“Anything,” he said, his sincere tone telling
her he meant it.

“Can you swipe Jason’s house key and make a
copy?”

“Uh, anything but that. I have no idea how
that would even be possible.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you,” she said,
and it was true. Travis had become a jack-of-all trades informant,
helping her with several problems. Belatedly she realized she also
needed to buy a present for him.

“I’ll do my best. When do you need it
by?”

“As soon as possible,” Lacy said. “I’d like
to use it tomorrow.”

“Okay, but I may have to involve others in
this plot.”

“Whatever you need. Thanks, Travis. I’ll buy
you something pretty.”

Travis laughed. “See that you do. Later,
Lacy.”

They disconnected and she rejoined Tosh. “I
just remembered I have to buy a present for Travis,” Lacy said.

“You just remembered that in the bathroom?”
Tosh asked, sounding suspicious.

“The bathroom is a good place to think.
C’mon,” she grabbed his hand and led him to the electronics store
where she bought a game for Sean and a gift card for Travis, that
way he could pick out whatever he wanted.

“Shopping is exhausting,” Lacy said as Tosh
drove her home.

“And you didn’t even get everything from your
list,” he said.

“Don’t worry; I know what your present is
going to be now,” she assured him.

He parked in her grandmother’s driveway and
turned to her with a smile that looked sad. “Don’t buy me anything,
Lacy. I don’t need anything. I just want…Well, you know what I
want, but I guess you can’t give me that for Christmas.”

Lacy faced forward as the levity was sucked
from the car. Why couldn’t Tosh be happy with their friendship as
it was? Why did he feel the constant need to pressure her for more?
She was exactly where she wanted to be with him, but apparently he
wasn’t in the same place with her. Why couldn’t he let it go?

“Hey,” he said, reaching over the seat to
clasp her hand. “I’m sorry I brought it up. My defenses are
weakened because I’m tired. I know you’re not ready for anything
more than what we have.”

Lacy let go his hand and circled his neck,
hugging him tightly. “I do love you, Tosh. You know that.”

“Yes, I know that,” he said, still sounding
sad. He returned her hug, though, and rested his head on hers.
“Duty calls,” he said. He sounded more cheerful, but she thought
his tone might be forced. “I need to go stop the British from
advancing on our town. I’ll see you tomorrow at your awesome
Christmas party.” He kissed her forehead and let her go,
effectively dismissing her.

She let him go, trying not to be hurt by his
brusque manner. The gnawing sense of guilt was back, guilt because
she couldn’t be what he wanted her to be right now. Today it was
accompanied by the fear that maybe she never would be. What
happened when she was ready to move on and get over her hurt from
Robert if the person she moved on with wasn’t Tosh? Would he still
be her friend? She wasn’t sure, and that uncertainty made her
uneasy.

When she went inside her house, the
atmosphere was peaceful for once. Her mother and grandmother were
working in the kitchen and the silence told her it was going well.
Her father was reading a book on the couch, and her grandfather was
reading the newspaper in the recliner. They both looked up at her
with welcoming smiles.

“How did it go, sweetheart?” her father
asked, setting aside his book. “Did you finish shopping?”

“Not quite, but I have a good idea of what I
want to buy now. How was your day?” The question was loaded; had it
been World War III?

“It was good,” her father replied. “Mom’s in
a chipper mood today. She and Grandma are working together on
supper, so it should be good.”

Lacy smiled. She was tempted to poke her head
in the kitchen, but didn’t want to risk incurring her mother’s ire
for any of the unknown reasons her mother tended to turn on her.
Instead she sat beside her father on the couch. Her grandfather
handed her the entertainment section of his paper, and she began to
read before sleep took over and she dozed until it was time for
supper.

Supper was another peaceful affair. Lacy
wouldn’t exactly say it was a love fest, but the open hostility
seemed to have died down a bit. For that she was thankful. They
were able to have a pleasant conversation without her mother
hurling accusations, insults, or veiled criticisms. The meal was
delicious, but Lacy didn’t overindulge. All in all, it was shaping
up to be a perfect evening. So of course it couldn’t last.

After cleaning up the kitchen, everyone
retired to the family room to relax when Frannie’s phone rang. Lacy
knew by the tone that it was her sister, and she tensed, clutching
her hands on the edge of the sofa. Her mother answered cheerfully,
asking a hundred questions about the Hamptons and Robert. At first
Lacy was paralyzed, and then she felt as if she were drowning, as
if each question her mother asked was sucking her into inky, icy
emotional darkness from which there was no recovery. Hearing her
mother’s joy at talking to Riley and Riley’s apparent happiness on
the other end of the line was too much for Lacy’s fragile psyche.
Any emotional stability she had gained the last few months was
suddenly shattered, and her only thought was escape.

With no clear objective in mind, she sprinted
from the house, slamming the door behind her. Then she stopped
short on the porch, looking around in dismay. Where could she go?
She was already at her dead end. She had already fled New York and
come to the solace of her grandmother’s house. If she couldn’t find
comfort and healing here, then maybe there was none to be
found.

She had no idea how long she stood on the
porch, but suddenly her father was beside her, wrapping her in her
coat.

“You forgot this,” he said gently.

Lacy realized then that she was freezing. She
shrugged into the coat, shivering. “Thanks, Dad.”

He stood beside her, his hands braced against
the railing as he peered out at the dark yard. “Your mother doesn’t
mean to be as insensitive as she seems about the Robert situation,
Lacy.”

“I know,” Lacy answered dully, not really
believing the words.

“It’s hard on a parent to see their kids not
getting along. She just wants things to be better between you and
Riley; we both do.”

“How can they ever be right again, Dad?” Lacy
asked, her voice cracking. “How could she have done this to
me?”

Her father wrapped his arms around her, and
she gave in to her tears then, crying against his chest as she had
when she was a little girl.