Christmas with Billy and Me: A Short Story (5 page)

Charlotte and Aaron stand to one side as us four adults rattle around lighting candles, moving the ice bucket of champagne on to one of the tables, and general faffing to make sure everything’s as it should be.

‘Right, all done?’ I ask, lighting the last of the candles.

‘Wait!’ calls Billy, walking over to the stereo. ‘Can’t forget the music!’

Bing Crosby’s ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ starts playing and I breathe a sigh of relief that one of the requested specifics hasn’t been forgotten.

‘Ready now?’ I ask again.

‘I think so,’ nods Billy, squinting as he looks around the room to check.

‘Perfect, I’ll get the lights,’ I squeak, making my way over to the switch on the wall. ‘Three, two, one!’ I count down, before flicking the switch and turning the shop’s overhead lights off.

There’s a gasp, followed by silence.

The room has suddenly come alive with romance.

It’s not the majestic lights working their magic.

It’s not the Christmas tree shining in its festive joy.

It’s not the handmade bits and bobs hanging from the tree or adorning every surface, nook and cranny of the shop.

It’s not Bing’s delectable tones crooning away.

It’s the sight of Colin.

In front of my mum.

On one knee.

With Aaron and Charlotte grinning behind him, clearly in on the secret – those cheeky little monkeys.

‘Jane,’ he begins, pursing his lips to still his mounting nerves before taking a deep breath.

Mum looks at me in utter shock, her eyes widening as they search mine for something, anything.

A smile that I can’t control spreads across my face. Big. Happy. Goofy.

She exhales and turns back to Colin who’s managed to compose himself.

‘I didn’t know I was ready to find someone to share
my life with again until I met you. Our broken hearts bumped into each other, and from that moment I’ve wanted to do anything in my power to patch up your heartache and give you the love you deserve. I’m not perfect – I’m short, grey and I eat far too much, especially at Christmas – but I can offer you kindness, friendship … and these two little rascals,’ he laughs, tilting his head towards Charlotte and Aaron behind him, who are standing hand in hand along with Minnie Mouse.

Mum’s eyes are filled with tears as her shoulders come up in laughter.

‘Please, Jane. Will you be my wife? Will you marry me?’

‘Oh, Colin … Of course I will!’

Finally my tears start flowing.

Tears of complete and utter joy.

As we all sit there hearing about Colin’s sneaky behaviour whilst enjoying the food I’d made and Billy’s mulled wine, I find myself thinking of the angel on top of the Christmas tree and picture Pauline watching over us. I hope she’s perched on a cloud somewhere in the company of Molly and Dad.

It comforts me to think of them with us on this special occasion. As Colin has proven with his children, the world is a much happier place when you keep their memories alive – rather than shutting them away into the big dark hole of the past. Now I make a conscious effort not to shy away from the absence of the loved ones we’ve lost. Instead, I choose to
think of them and honour them, to include them, to make them a part of our family’s future. They’re with us and I feel the love bouncing around the festive room.

Our little family might be unconventional, with bits missing or broken, but in this moment I feel nothing but pride, love and happiness. I feel complete.

‘OK, now, I didn’t know what to get you,’ I say, picking up Billy’s gift from under the tree and walking over to him.

‘You didn’t have to get me anything …’

‘But I wanted to,’ I say, raising my eyebrows as I place a huge box on the floor in front of him. The kids have already opened all of their gifts and have run off excitedly to have a go on their new bikes in the garden. Mum and Colin have gone to watch, although they’ve spent the majority of the morning in a bubble for two. It’s adorable to see them both looking so in love and engrossed with their affection for one another.

‘Whoa, not as heavy as it looks,’ he says, picking up the almost empty box.

‘I wanted to keep you guessing,’ I admit. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t been down here shaking it trying to guess.’

‘How do you know I haven’t?’ he grins before tearing into the glittery red wrapping, opening the box and taking out its contents. ‘An envelope …’ he vocalizes, looking puzzled as he turns it from one side to the other repeatedly as if its exterior will give him a clue.

I
can’t help but giggle as I watch him finally open it and take out the airline tickets.

‘What? We’re going to LA?!’ he proclaims after reading their destination.

‘Yep. In two days, for two whole weeks.’

‘But, what about the shop?’

‘It’s all sorted. Mum’s due some holiday time from the library and Colin’s offered to help out too.’ I can’t help but grin at his expression.

‘We’ll be having New Year in LA?’

‘With your family,’ I nod.

‘Do they know?’

‘Of course they do,’ I laugh. ‘I had to check they weren’t going off on holiday or anything. I would’ve booked a hotel, but your Mum has insisted we stay with them.’

‘I bet she has. I can’t believe she hasn’t slipped up – she must be so excited.’

‘She sounded it.’

‘Thank you so much, Sophie!’ he says, getting up off the floor and scooping me into his arms so that my feet are up off the ground. ‘I can’t believe you’re going to meet my family, though … You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for there.’

‘They’ve all sounded lovely on the phone,’ I shrug – although secretly I’m pretty nervous about meeting the Buskin clan. I’ve never been particularly good with new people – especially important people like potential in-laws (here’s hoping … one day).

‘That’s what they want you to think,’ he laughs.
‘Just wait until they get their claws into you – Mum will have you agreeing to all sorts!’

I’m thrilled that he’s visibly excited about seeing his family. Although it makes me question more than ever why he hadn’t planned the trip himself – even if I weren’t able to go with him because of the shop. He’s clearly missed them more than he’s let on.

‘Now it’s time for yours,’ Billy winks, walking over to the tree and bringing back a fairly big present – wrapped in brown paper, but with a big festive red bow placed on the top. The tag on the present reads, ‘Christmas … a time for remembering, cherishing and uniting. Life presents us with a series of patches, and from those little patches great things are made. Merry Christmas. Billy. Xx.’

Opening it, I’m greeted by a rainbow of colours. Dozens of different fabrics, of various textures, shapes and sizes, have been sewn together to create one ginormous, warm and cosy quilt.

A beautiful patchwork quilt, to match my beautiful patchwork family.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I love Christmas and I’m not ashamed to admit that we put our Christmas tree up on the earliest possible date – one year it was even up in November! It’s the one time of year when you can curl up on the sofa and stuff your face full of chocolate without anyone thinking badly of you – surely that alone is a reason to rejoice?

If you don’t find it quite so easy to slip into the spirit of the season, here are a few Christmassy tips from me to you:

1. Write all your Christmas cards. You’re bound to feel extra Christmassy after you’ve written ‘Merry Christmas’ a hundred times!
   
2. Grab yourself a big bowl and overload it with chocolates – Ferrero Rocher, Cadbury’s Roses, Quality Street, Lindt Balls … all of the greats! Put them on the coffee table in your lounge and
   slowly
   make your way through them (you don’t want to peak too early). If other people come over, you can enjoy a group appreciation of chocolate … or you can just hide them all. Sharing is caring, but not when it comes to Ferrero Rocher!
   
3. Get your friends over and play Balderdash. If you’ve never heard of it before, go out and invest – it’s the ultimate Christmas board game!
   
4. Make mince pies and eat a few while they’re still hot. Be careful not to burn your mouth though – rookie mistake.
   
5. Give those neighbours whom you never talk to a festive treat – nothing like the aforementioned homemade mince pies to bring the community together!
   
6. Whack on the Christmas tunes and enjoy singing ‘All I want for Christmas is yoooooooooou!’ at the top of your lungs.
   
7. Go to a Christmas tree farm. I didn’t know these actually existed until a few years ago, but I now love the idea of going along and picking our tree out … as long as some cute little animals haven’t already bagsied it for their home, of course!!
   
8. Go see Santa! Yep, go sit on the old guy’s knee and spiel off all the things you want this year.
   
9. Get the Argos catalogue out. When I was a kid we used to turn down the corners of our favourite pages in the hope that we’d be given them all for Christmas … talk about subtle hints!
   
10. Hire a snow machine. OK, this might be slightly extravagant – perhaps just learn a tribal snow dance and perform that around your living room instead.