Christmas With Nathan (2 page)

Sensing that I may have overstepped the mark with my hormonal, horny outburst, I decided that now wasn’t the time to push him with a glib reply. Immediately shaking my head in response, I bit my lower lip nervously, a movement which merely caused his eyes to narrow further.
Shit
. I’d gotten myself so wound up in my strop that I’d totally forgotten about the not chewing on my lip rule. Nathan, however, was now glaring at my mouth, and quite obviously still held his dislike of me chewing on it. And his dislike of me nodding.
Bugger
. I’d just given him the double whammy of annoyances. And to top it off, I’d yelled at him rather impolitely too, I thought with a guilty flush. All in all, these past few minutes hadn’t exactly been my best.

His dark gaze alone was enough to make me cease the lip-chewing and lick along the abused flesh in way of silent apology. ‘No. Of course I wouldn’t,’ I murmured, hoping that might make up for the lip-chewing, nodding, and yelling fiasco.

I almost bent over to offer myself up for a punishment spanking. It was probably the least I deserved for my petulant outburst, but at the last minute I held back when I saw Nathan’s commanding eyes cloud over.

Letting out a gigantic sigh, he dropped his head for a second, his broad, tense shoulders rising and falling as he drew in several breaths – he was probably doing one of his calming countdowns – before he raised his eyes and stepped toward me. Remaining silent for a second, he lifted a hand to my neck and rubbed one finger along the necklace that never left my throat. The thrill of his contact had me tilting my head to give him better access, but I resolutely kept my eyes on his, trying to work out what he was thinking.

‘You remember what this stands for, Stella?’ he asked as he began to lightly tug on the metal, his fingers gently brushing across my skin and sending a flood of warmth to the area as my eyes fluttered closed from the pleasure.

I wasn’t sure why he was asking me such an obvious question –
of course
I remembered the necklace’s significance. It was the lockable chain Nathan had given me over nine months ago as a symbol of our commitment to one another. There was only one key to the clasp, kept in Nathan’s safe, and he had taken great pleasure in locking the chain to me before guiding me across his lap and having his wicked way with me to seal the deal. For Nathan, a man who had lived his life as a no-strings attached sexual Dominant before he had met me, this necklace was as close to his version of a wedding ring as I would ever get, and I absolutely treasured it.

Apparently I had paused too long in my answer, because Nathan took a step closer and used his thumb to gently tilt my chin up so my eyes re-opened and our gazes met, the force of his big blues causing my breath to hitch a little. ‘I’m waiting, Stella,’ he murmured, his burning stare focused solely on me.

Ah yes, as well as an extreme dislike for lip-chewing, nodding, and yelling, Mr Punctuality did
not
like to be kept waiting. Especially when he was being all commanding like this, so I swallowed to moisten my throat and quickly answered. ‘It shows I’m yours,’ I whispered, finding myself sorely tempted to add a ‘Sir’ on the end, even though I hadn’t used that title since well before William was born. I only used ‘Sir’ on rare occasions in the bedroom when we scened together as Dom and sub, but seeing as we hadn’t had sex for months the need hadn’t arisen.

To my surprise, Nathan shook his head at my reply, his strong jaw moving slowly back and forth and accentuating the lightly stubbled angles as he rejected my answer. A hint of a smirk touched his lips as he continued to watch me carefully before he tapped the necklace twice with the pad of his forefinger.

‘No, it does not just mean that you are mine, Stella. This necklace represents
us
. Both of us, and the commitment and love we share. The chain signifies you, twining through my heart, and the lock characterises me, binding us together. It is the most important gift I have ever given or shall ever give in my entire life.’ Once he had finished laying that stunner on me, Nathan cleared his throat as if he was embarrassed by how deep he had just been. I have to say, I was stunned into silence by the raw sentiment too, and immediately felt tears welling at the back of my eyes. Blimey, that bit about the chain signifying me twining through his heart was poetic enough to go inside a greetings card, and I hastily tried to commit it to memory.

‘You are mine, Stella, but I am just as much yours, and as such, there is no way I would ever,
ever
, want, or need, to go elsewhere for sex.’

Once he was finished, I stood there gazing up at him, unable to do anything other than give him a decidedly shaky nod as my eyes swiftly filled with tears. Thankfully, he didn’t chastise me for the nod this time. Instead, his domineering façade melted away at my pathetically drippy look as he graced me with a soft, sweet smile.

Stepping closer, he cupped my face gently and lowered his lips to mine, capturing my mouth in a kiss so tender but somehow passionate that I immediately melted into his arms, tears flowing down my cheeks as I gave up my mouth to the exploring pressure of his tongue.

Breaking our lips apart he leant back, a frown briefly fluttering across his brows as he saw the quantity of my tears, before he began to wipe them away and leant down to place a sweet kiss on each of my eyelids.

‘Now, no more tears or stupid talk about me cheating on you, Stella, because it will never happen. Understand, my sweet girl?’

If I took a second to think about it, I knew deep in my heart that Nathan wouldn’t cheat on me. He’d already proved his dedication to me by giving me the necklace,
and
moving out of his beloved apartment into this temporary rented place – because I’d been unable to overlook the women who’d shared his life before me.

Rolling my lips together as a distraction to try and stop more tears falling, I gave a nod and smiled at him shakily as I suddenly filled up with embarrassment at my outburst. ‘Sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Must be the baby hormones in my system.’

Letting out a small chuckle Nathan guided me down on to the sofa, one arm looping around my shoulders so I was tucked firmly into his side where I immediately relaxed against him with a happy sigh.

Throughout my pregnancy, labour, and the following months, Nathan had often borne the brunt of my rampaging hormones, so he knew exactly what I was talking about. Poor guy, he’d been so patient with me while I had cried endlessly during my morning sickness, moaned about having sore nipples during breastfeeding, and generally used the excuse of “I can’t, I’m pregnant” to get out of anything I didn’t particularly want to do. I may, on occasions, have slightly used the baby to my advantage, but Nathan had taken it all in his stride and happily humoured me.

‘I know we haven’t had sex for a while …’ His words faded slightly as I saw Nathan wince, probably doing a quick calculation in his head about exactly how long it had been. He needn’t have bothered – I could tell him down to the precise weeks, days, and practically seconds, ‘… but we’ve been intimate every day in some form or other, even if it’s just showering together. I thought that would be enough reassurance that I still want you and only you, Stella. I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear enough why I was holding back,’ he murmured, taking my hand and giving it a firm squeeze.

Drawing in a deep breath, Nathan placed a kiss on the top of my head and adjusted his position on the sofa so he was sat sideways facing me and could look directly into my eyes. Chewing on his lip as he studied me, it briefly crossed my mind to question why it was OK for him to chew his lip but not me, but I refrained from asking, the serious expression on his face enough to silence me.

‘I can see why you might take our lack of sex as a snub, but I’m trying really hard to do what’s best for you, Stella. Your body went through a hell of a lot giving birth to William. I don’t want to hurt you.’

His words were so sweet, his concern deeply touching, but I needed him to understand that I was OK. ‘You won’t hurt me, Nathan. I know my own body and I’m fine now, I promise. Even my gynaecologist said I’d made one the quickest recoveries she’s ever seen.’

He raised a hand, first raking it through his hair in agitation before lowering it and cupping my jaw gently, his thumb swirling over my cheek as I leant into his soft touch. ‘Seeing you in labour was really fucking hard for me, Stella …
really fucking hard
.’ His admission came out on a wheeze and my heart clenched. He had never told me this before. I knew he’d had a bit of a panic attack the day I gave birth to Will, but at the time I’d assumed it was over being a father, not my wellbeing.

‘You were deathly pale, and in such pain, and there was so much
blood
…’ A huge, tortured sigh escaped his chest and I saw the remnants of fear cloud his eyes. ‘It was horrible. All I could think was that it was my fault you were there. I felt so helpless and I swore to myself there and then that I would take better care of you. I … I guess that’s what I’m trying to do now, I don’t know how else to make sure you’re really OK apart from holding myself back.’

Wow. Nathan had softened a lot since he’d found out I was pregnant, and gotten far better at opening up about his feelings, but the look of raw anguish on his face made it screamingly obvious how much he cared about me. How much he truly
loved
me.

‘For the record, regardless of the discomfort of labour, I
never
regret having Will, and I certainly wouldn’t blame you for putting me there. It takes two to make a baby, Nathan,’ I reminded him with a smile.

I couldn’t believe I’d thought for even a second that he might be cheating on me, and seeing his face now – scrunched up with his memories of my pain – I felt immediately guilty at my lapse of faith. ‘I wasn’t thinking straight. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. I’m so sorry, Nathan.’ Trying to lighten the mood, I gave him a cheeky smile and small shrug. ‘Blame it on me being horny. I just assumed that because I was gagging for it, you must be too.’

Finally, I saw his expression clear and lighten as he sat up straighter and gave me a wicked look that sent a shiver of desire shooting straight to my groin. ‘Oh, believe me, I’ve been gagging for it. I’ve had to hold myself back from taking you ever since I brought you home from the hospital.’ That admission pleased me greatly, enhancing my self-confidence no end and causing me to grin at him as I watched his cheeks flush. Cocking my head, I tried to work out his odd expression – it wasn’t quite guilt, but there was certainly some embarrassment evident, and there was even a mild flush to his cheeks. ‘I may have resorted to an occasional wank in the shower,’ he finally confessed, looking mortified to be admitting to pleasuring himself.

Throwing my head back, I laughed hard before lowering my gaze and meeting his embarrassed look with one of my own. ‘You’re not the only one. I might have scratched my itch a few times too,’ I admitted, enjoying the startled expression that jumped to his face.

‘Christ, really?’ he muttered thickly, his pupils dilating before my eyes with arousal.

Nodding my head, I didn’t get a chance to reply properly because Nathan’s body inclined toward me in a blur of speed, caging me in as his mouth landed on mine in a kiss so passionate that I was instantly breathless. His skilled tongue forced its way between my lips and began to stroke across mine until I moaned out my pleasure into his mouth and clutched desperately at the back of his head with clawing fingers. God, he was such a good kisser. One of his hands dived into my hair, pulling me closer as the other dipped between my thighs and cupped me possessively over the material of my jeans, his fingers splayed and his thumb rubbing firm circles on my clitoris and causing me to groan into his mouth.

‘No more touching yourself, Stella. Your pleasure is my job, understand?’

His possessive words sent a rush of moisture between my legs and instead of an instant reply, a high-pitched, needy sound left my lips as I squirmed under his touch, my body already on fire from this much-missed attention.

‘OK … deal,’ I panted. ‘As long as you promise to take care of me right now, though, because I really can’t wait any longer,’ I begged, shamelessly grinding my groin against his hand as my own fingers clutched at his shirt in a shaky attempt at ripping it open.

Pausing in his onslaught, Nathan looked down at me with analysing eyes. ‘You’re definitely OK?’ he asked again, and I frantically nodded my confirmation. ‘Yes.’ I was more than OK – I was ramped up and ready to go.

‘In that case, let’s sort us both out with some relief, shall we?’ he murmured, his lips dropping to my neck and working over the heated skin with a series of eager licks, sucks, and gentle bites that had me clawing at his shirt, desperate to get him naked.

‘It’s OK, baby, slow down. I’m going to take care of you,’ he assured me as he left the sofa and dropped to the floor before me. Pulling off my socks, he threw them behind him before sitting up on his knees and starting work on the zip of my jeans.

Meeting my eyes, he smiled softly, his excitement clear in every part of his face. ‘We’re not going to have full sex tonight, though.’

My eyes flew open, but before I could complain he raised a finger and pressed it to my lips. ‘It’s been a while; we both need breaking in again. But don’t be disappointed, Stella, because believe me, I’m going to make sure you get off tonight. Multiple times.’

His promising words had me snapping my lips shut as my protest died on my tongue. Nathan was a man of his word, and supremely skilled in the sex department, so if he said we’d both be satisfied by what he had in mind then I believed him.

‘OK,’ I agreed, lifting my hips to help him with the job of removing my jeans and knickers. Before moving to my jumper, Nathan stood up and efficiently stripped away his own clothes until he was completely naked and looking rather proud of the erection jutting out in my direction. He should be proud – it was an impressive appendage, and boy, had I missed seeing that sight. My eyebrows rose at just how speedily he’d hardened. He was
very
pleased to see me, and I couldn’t help but grin as my greedy eyes feasted on his beautiful body.