Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 2: A New Adult Romantic Comedy
Read Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 2: A New Adult Romantic Comedy Online
Authors: Adele Huxley,Savan Robbins
This book is work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This book contains explicit material and is intended for readers 18 years or older.
The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademarked owners of any wordmarks mentioned in the following fiction.
Copyright ©
2016 by Adele Huxley
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.
All requests should be forwarded to:
[email protected]
Chronicles of a Serial Dater
is a series of 7 short stories designed to keep you laughing all summer long, with a new release nearly every week. Mark your calendars with these dates!
Book 6 - August 24th
Book 7 - August 31st
Bonus online content will also be released with each addition, adding to the interactive fun! Be on the lookout for any chapter ending with this image:
Believe it for not, all the dates, conversations, and horror stories in this series are real. Readers just like you were kind enough to share their funniest and worst dates for our entertainment. At least something good came out of them! So if you’re reading these and at any point think, “Come on now, this is too ridiculous,” just remember…
The truth is always stranger than fiction, and nothing is stranger than online dating.
You can still get in on the fun! If you have a funny/bad/horrible date you’d like to share, or even some hilarious online conversations, email me at
[email protected]
with the subject “SUBMISSION”
“I saw your latest video,” Anette said, her words dripping with meaning.
Even with the crappy internet connection, we could easily see Lourdes roll her eyes. “I’ve been waiting for this since you called. Come on. Let’s get it over with.” She dipped her head and gestured toward the camera, inviting the comments.
“What? I haven’t seen it? What’d she do now?” I asked, looking between Anette and the computer screen for any clues.
“Do you want to tell her or would you rather I do it?”
Lourdes laughed, her curly hair bouncing with the movement. “Be my guest. I’d love to hear your interpretation.”
Anette’s brown eyes were wide and sparkling with mischief. “Our dear friend is apparently reviewing sex toys now. This week, instead of testing out the latest lipstick shade, she tested out a massive double-ended dildo.”
My jaw dropped as I stared at the screen for her reaction. “You what now? You recorded…”
“‘Net! It wasn’t double ended, for God’s sake. Tee, it was a normal dildo of perfectly normal girth and no, I didn’t demonstrate it on camera. What on Earth do you women think of me?”
“Uh huh,
sure.
I saw it! The thing could be used as a weapon if someone breaks into your apartment.”
Lourdes laughed and tutted. “I know cocks and cock-like things aren’t your favorite flavor of tea, but I thought you’d be more open-minded than this.”
I grinned, happy to be a spectator as the conversational tennis match bounced back and forth. It was great to just hear Lourdes call us by her nicknames. These video chats instantly erased the distance, a whole country stretched between us in New York and her in Los Angeles.
As the two bantered on, my phone buzzed in my lap. After taking a quick glance to make sure they were completely embroiled in their play fight, I swiped the screen open and saw a message from Phillipe, a guy I’d been texting for a couple days.
“Hey cutie, how are you? Been thinking about you?”
I tried to hide a grin as my thumbs quickly slid across the keyboard.
“Good. Busy. You?”
“I’m good now ;)”
Lourdes’ increasingly loud voice caught my attention. I tucked the phone between my thighs and covered it with my hands. “Will you slap her for me, please?”
Anette bit her lip as she tried not to laugh. “All I’m saying is there’s a name for a woman who gets paid for sex.
And it rhymes with the ‘constitution.’ Which, FYI, is rather ironic if you think about it.”
Without having heard most of the conversation, I still gave Anette a playful smack on the shoulder.
“Thank you! For one thing, I’m not getting paid to
have
sex, I’m getting paid to talk about it. Secondly, if you knew how much they were paying, you’d have your own channel up within the hour. And finally, there is a word for that kind of woman.” She grinned as we both sat waiting for her delayed response. “Entrepreneur.”
“I think it’s resourceful,” I proclaimed, making a mental note to watch the video when I got a second. My phone buzzed between my legs but had to leave it until Anette looked away.
“As long as you can hook us up with freebies, I’m all for it,” she laughed, finally conceding to Lourdes’ superior debate skills. “Cock-like objects don’t bother me, for the record.”
The two fell back into a less heated conversation and I stole a second to check my text. When I swiped my screen open, I wasn’t able to hold back a gasp.
Followed by a photo of a large penis. I say “a penis” because I have no way of knowing if it was actually his penis, nor would I now ever care to find out.
“Oh, ewwww,” Anette sneered as she spotted the photo in my lap.
“What’s that face for?” Lourdes asked as Anette snatched the phone from my hand.
“Cock-like object detected!” she declared as she held my screen up to the camera.
“Impressive,” Lourdes giggled. “Someone you know or are you browsing porn while we talk?”
My cheeks must’ve turned ten shades of red as I grabbed my phone back. “No! This guy I was… he… nevermind. It’s nothing. So, are you planning on branching out into the wide world of flavored lube?” I asked attempting to turn the focus back on her.
“Nuh-uh, you aren’t changing the subject,” Lourdes said, shaking her head. “What? Is this your first dick pic?”
“Oh, we haven’t told you! Our dear little Talia, like millions of other twenty-somethings, has joined the online dating world.”
I shot Anette a look and rolled my eyes. “And regretting every moment of it. Obviously.” With a few taps on my screen, I deleted Phillipe, and his dong, from my life.
“Aww, you haven’t met anyone?”
“We aren’t all as naturally gorgeous and charming as you,” I deflected.
“She’s landed a few creeps, but we’re still trying,” Anette butted in.
Lourdes’ perfectly sculpted eyebrows shot up. “We?”
I gave the camera a long-suffering smile and she laughed. We all knew and accepted Anette for her particularly intense brand of love. Lourdes was probably thankful to not be on the receiving end of it for once.
