Chrysalis
Authors: Emily Gould
Table of Contents
Emily Gould
Ever the victim of friendship, Luke seeks out rugby player and fellow student Josh with the intent of asking him out on behalf of a friend. In a moment of panic, he accidentally asks Josh to go out with him instead. Fully expecting to be punched by Josh and his fellow jocks, Luke is dumbfounded when Josh instead says yes—leaving Luke with absolutely no idea what to do, besides run away to panic elsewhere and try to figure out what to do about his unexpected date.
Chrysalis
By Emily Gould
Published by Less Than Three Press
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission of the publisher, except for the purpose of reviews.
Edited by Caitlyn Penny
Cover designed by Aisha Akeju
This book is a work of fiction and as such all characters and situations are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is coincidental.
First Edition November 2011
Copyright © 2011 by Emily Gould
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN 978-1-936202-87-4
I should have thought,
just thought
, just for a second … but I think my brain is allergic to thinking. Actually, I think my brain hates me.
"Why the fuck do you want to know?"
He's towering over me. I want to run, but all my legs want to do is wobble and give out. I think this is probably the most terrified I've ever felt, with Josh looming over me, swearing, surrounded by his friends.
My friends are not here; they don't come to places like this. Only rugby players do, apparently—and they come here to tower.
"No, I-I didn't, I didn't mean … " I try to work out what to say, how to get out of this one … Why didn't my brain figure out ten minutes ago that going up to this guy and saying "Are you gay?" would be a bad idea?
How the hell does someone get so tall?
"Will you go out with me?" I practically scream, because my allergic non-thinking brain has finally decided to give up the ghost. I close my eyes, wondering if anyone will complain if he hits me. I can hear his friends laughing.
"What?"
The first time I said it was loud, but this second time I'm amazed he can hear me. I can barely hear myself, although that might be because my ears are buzzing. "Will you go out with me … ?"
Josh blinks at me. I blink back. His mates stop laughing and look at him, kind of puzzled. I stare at him desperately, hoping like hell the answer is 'no' .
He looks around, as if it's a joke, as if he's going to make a joke. I give a crazy, horrible cheesy grin. He reaches forward and pats the side of my cheek gently. "Well, kid, you've pulled. Outside the front gates. Tomorrow, at seven."
Josh laughs. They all laugh. The laughter follows me as I stumble out the door.
*~*~*
"Well?" Emmy demands. She's been doing that since I got back. "Well?"
I make her wait, though—if I had to go through being traumatised, she can stand waiting. I get a drink, and then spread my essay work across the desk and look at it for a bit. "Well?"
"No."
"No what? Did you ask him out for me?"
"He's gay."
"Oh."
"He asked me out."
"What?" She stares as me, trying to see if I'm joking, but I don't joke all that much. "He asked you out?"
It stings a bit, the way she says it, as if no one would ever ask me out. It hasn't happened since I started university, but still. "Yeah. Well … I sort of asked him out. I asked him if he was gay and it pissed him off, and I couldn't think of anything else to say."
"Oh man, Luke." She shakes her head at my inability to interact. "Oh man."
I scowl at her. "It's your fault! The only instructions you gave were 'find out if he's gay, and if not, ask him out for me'. What was I meant to do? And the next time you want to find out if a guy is available, you can ask him yourself; I am not going through that again."
"Well, at least you have a date, yeah?" I think the acquisition of dates is all that Emmy thinks is important.
"He's six feet tall! I don't like tall guys." I poke my work a bit with the pencil. "I like cute guys. Sweet little emo guys with eyeliner and shit, not guys that look like the missing fucking link. Safe guys."
"He's hot!" Emmy smirks at me, because she finds it funny. I'm starting to wonder why I agreed to do the favour for her in the first place. In fact, I'm starting to wonder why I'm friends with her at all. "All the girls will be jealous."
"What if he wants to take it further than just a date?" Okay, maybe I am whingeing now, but he scares me. He really does. "What the hell are we going to talk about?"
Emmy rolls her eyes. "Just let him talk. If it gets bad, phone me and I'll come rescue you, okay?" She pats my hair, messing it all up, and then makes a face. "Oh, and Charles says he'll return your notes tomorrow after lectures."
"I'm going over to his tomorrow evening anyway … "
"Don't you have a date now?"
I scowl and flip her off.
*~*~*
Charles takes things more seriously. "Look, why don't you just tell him you made a mistake?"
"Six feet tall."
"He's not going to hurt you, especially not in the middle of a restaurant. Tell him you came to ask if some girl wanted to go out with him, and then made a mistake."
"He'll laugh at me," I mumble.
"Probably," he says, sounding bored, and I remember that I don't really like Charles so much because he makes me feel like a dick. "I brought back your notes. And Chelsea brought back your hair-straighteners."
I take the bag. "How … are … things?" I ask, a little cautiously. Because it's always a hard question to ask.
"Okay … " He sighs a little. "Not long left now. She's pretty much just staying in the house." He frowns and I notice that he's starting to get wrinkles on his forehead.
"Is Chels … well?"
"Oh yeah, size of the side of a house, but still well. It shouldn't be a problem, really; her mum had no problems. I mean, she came out fine herself, so I'm sure the kid will manage. People have babies all the time; it's perfectly normal."
I let him talk for a bit longer, because Charles is going through a hell of a lot of problems right now and mine seem a lot smaller in comparison. Chelsea is his half-sister, although the half doesn't make much of a difference; they both look pretty similar, all fine blond hair and wide blue eyes. When I first met Charles, I had a bit of a crush on him, although that faded pretty quickly because Charles isn't really interested—in guys, girls … or
anything
really. "Well, I hope it goes okay, man," I say when he's finished.
"Yes. And good luck with your date." He gives a grin, the first one I've seen for a while. "Don't forget the mace!"
*~*~*
I'm hoping Josh won't turn up, I really am. But he does, and in a fucking rugby shirt with the collar turned up at the back. In contrast, I've made myself look as emo as possible: dark makeup, striped shirt, big boots, and re-styled hair to cover about half of my face, even though I usually just brush it over my left eye and leave it at that—all in an effort to look as little as possible like the kind of person I think he'd want to date.
Why the hell did he say 'yes'? Why the hell does some rugby-jock want to go out with a guy like me?
Josh looks me over and gives a quick grin, and I feel like kicking him. He wraps an arm around my waist and I almost throw up out of fear. "Shall we go?" I nod, mutely. "Does dinner sound okay?" I give another little nod. I can feel his hand pressing against the small of my back and I'm terrified he'll move it. Mostly terrified he'll move it down. What do I do if he grabs my ass?
Thankfully, he doesn't; just takes me to a place and sits down. I sit down, too, and stare at the menu. Saver deals and inexpensive food choices look back at me. As well as everything else, he's a cheap date. The waitress comes and I jab my finger at a random vegetarian thing, wondering if it's worth pretending to be vegan and kick up a fuss. I bet he'd really hate a vegan. I don't kick up a fuss, though, and when I look up, I see he's looking back at me and it almost scares me shitless.
"So … " he begins, and then stops. There's silence for a bit. I really wish they'd bring the food, so we could eat and get out. I start to feel a little sorry for Josh, stuck with a lousy date who doesn't even want to be with him.
"It was a mistake," I blurt out, because my brain failed me again and I can't think of anything to say.
Josh frowns. "You want to change your order?"
"No … "
"What was a mistake?"
I look down and mumble something random, staring at the tablecloth. I wish I'd put a slightly less crazy shirt on. "Why did you want to go out with me?"
Josh raises an eyebrow, and then sighs deeply, and I realise with panic that he's about to launch into a heartfelt talk. I don't want a heartfelt talk, especially not from a six foot tall rugby player with a popped collar . "Well … I don't know. For one thing, well … you're the first guy who's ever had the guts to ask me out. I was curious."
The guts? What guts? I have no guts!
"And … you're kind of cute." He gives me a sweet little smile. I'm starting to panic. "In a sort of crazy emo way. You looked so helpless when you asked; I felt saying 'no' might kill you or something. You seem different to all the guys I usually hang out with, the guys I usually go out with … "
I can't think of anything to say to that, so I keep my mouth shut. It's what Charles would do; he always does sensible things. I sometimes wish I were more like him.
There's silence for a bit and Josh is sort of smiling at me in a vaguely dopey way. Then he asks me the question: "Why did you ask me out?"
I take a deep breath and open my mouth to channel the Sensibleness of Charles, but for some reason, I start channelling Emmy instead. "Uh … you're hot. And a rugby player." I stutter out.
He stops smiling a little at that which makes me feel relieved. And then at long last, the food shows up, and we can eat and get out.
*~*~*
The next day, I go 'round to Charles and Chelsea's place (except it's really Charles's place, since Chelsea just moved in when the whole baby thing happened). Thibby, one of Charles' oldest friends, is there as well. He's been hanging around more since Chelsea's pregnancy to give Charles a bit of support, and he's promised (or threatened) to beat up the father if he ever turns up. I've never understood why Thibby and Charles are friends, as they're so completely different.
Thibby gives me a nod as I stumble through the door, then turns back to his computer. He's wearing a khaki T-shirt and his hair is currently bright orange. I ignore him because I want to focus on my problems.
"Chels!" I yell.
She comes out of the bedroom to meet me, sort of wobbling a little, and we hug carefully, because she's so large. "Ooh, Lukie! I heard you'd grabbed a hunk!"
"I'm scared of him," I admit, although right now I mostly feel like a cock for messing up his date so badly.
"Yeah, Charles said." She hugs me sympathetically and I remember why I love her so much. "Must have been crap. My advice is back away—back away fast—then run."
"Because you've never been on inadvisable dates," Charles snarks, but she just rolls her eyes and ignores him. I can't ignore him, though; even if I don't have a crush on him anymore, he's still a bit intimidating, and I always feel guilty when he calls me out on shit or reminds me that I'm speaking crap.
He does that a lot. I do it a lot, too.
"Are you dating now?" Thibby peers over the computer and gives me a critical, slightly pissed off look. "How did that happen? You never get dates, you're too chronically shy."
