Ciao (10 page)

“No one told me exactly where we’re going tonight,” I say to Ben. “Somehow I got the impression it was a dressy affair. Seems I was wrong.”

“Didn’t Blake tell you?” Ben glances over at Blake, who looks blank.

“I’m sorry,” Blake says. “I thought Ben told you.”

“We’re going sailing on this amazing boat,” Ben explains. “Catalina Island and a fantastic catered dinner.”

“Right …” I look down at my high heels and frown. “I wish I’d known.”

Before long we’re aboard a very cool boat — a boat I could’ve really enjoyed had I known we were going sailing. And after a short tour where Grace and the guys actually do some hands-on with the sails and such, we are served a casual-but-nice dinner out on the aft deck. And I know it should be no big deal, but it’s like I got off on the wrong foot — literally. As the evening progresses, despite taking off my shoes, I continue to feel out of step.

Meanwhile, Grace is relaxed and lovely and charming— and I begin to realize that she is capturing the attention of both guys. She’s a Dodgers fan and talks about baseball like an expert. She’s also naturally gregarious, but not in an obnoxious way. She’s great at drawing out interesting conversation, though it’s hard for me to get a word in edgewise. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough, or perhaps I’m just mesmerized. Like, where did this girl come from? So I ask her.

“I grew up on a little ranch not far from Santa Barbara,” she tells me. “My dad always dreamed of being a cowboy.”

“So do you have horses?” Blake asks.

“Oh, yeah.” She nods. “About a dozen. And some cattle too, as well as some other animals.”

“Do you ride?” Aidan asks.

“Sure. My brother and I grew up riding.”

Now both guys pepper Grace with questions about the ranch and horses and her brother, who used to do professional rodeo. I just listen—it’s as if I’m not even here. I’m fully aware that the cameras are running and I’m going to end up looking like the dummy date. It’s like I just can’t get into sync. In fact, I’m pretty sure no one would notice if I disappeared.
So I excuse myself before dessert and slip away to the other end of the boat. I briefly consider jumping ship and swimming to shore, but the lights of Catalina look to be at least a mile away. Instead, I decide to just sit here for a bit, soaking in the starlit sky, enjoying the lapping sound of water and the peace.

“Hey, what are you doing over here?” Blake asks me.

“Just enjoying the view.” I stand up. “Sorry. I guess I lost track of the time.”

“At least you didn’t fall overboard. Are you going to rejoin the group?”

“Sure.” I start walking back.

“Are you okay, Erin?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “I just feel a little out of it.”

“That Grace is quite a talker.”

“But a pleasant talker.”

“Aidan seems to like her too.”

I laugh. “So, really, I wouldn’t be missed if I just continued to lay low.”

“There you are,” says Ben as he comes for us with a camera guy. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s great,” I tell him. “I just got caught up in the view. It’s spectacular back there without all the boat lights.”

“Well, they just brought in dessert,” Ben tells me with a trace of irritation in his voice. “Hopefully you’ll want to participate now.”

Soon we’re all seated at the table again. As the dessert tray is served, Ben moves into his role as the host, asking us about our date experience, what we liked, what we didn’t like. Everyone seems happy and pleased, except for me.

“I guess I’m just not the blind dating type,” I admit. “I
don’t really like surprises that much. And I wish I’d known more about our date destination earlier.” “You felt overdressed?” Ben asks.

“Yes. And I might’ve brought my camera along. I mean, this boat trip has been beautiful. No complaints there.”

“Aren’t you happy with your date?” he persists. “Something wrong with Aidan here?” He grins at Aidan. “Seems like a nice enough fellow to me.”

“Aidan is great,” I admit. “But the whole thing … well, it just feels a little awkward. To me, anyway. I’m sure most people would love doing something like this. Maybe I’m just weird.” I actually look to Blake, wishing he would do or say something to help bail me out of this. It’s like I keep digging myself deeper into a hole.

“It’s probably my fault,” Grace says. “I talk too much when I’m nervous.”

“You don’t seem nervous,” Ben tells her.

“Oh, I’m just good at covering it up,” she says. “I’m pretty nervous. I mean, most of you have TV experience, and I’m just a regular girl.”

“You don’t seem like a regular girl to me,” Blake says with real admiration.

“I thought you were totally comfortable,” Aidan adds.

“I’m even thinking about inviting you to join our regular cast of daters,” Ben tells her. “You’ve been great. Now, tell me, Grace, what did you especially like about Blake?”

She looks at Blake then slowly smiles. “He’s a real gentleman. He’s a good listener, but he’s also a great conversationalist. He’s funny and fun.”

“So, would you go out with him again?” Ben asks.

“Absolutely.” She nods.

“How about you, Blake? Would you do a second date?” Blake looks uncomfortable and I suspect it’s because of me.

“Sure, he would,” I answer for him. “Wouldn’t you, Blake?” He just shrugs.

“And how would you feel about that, Erin?” Ben asks. “I know you and Blake have dated some.”

“I think Grace is a very nice person.” I smile at her. “Anyone would be fortunate to go out with her.”

“Well, thank you,” she tells me.

“So … Aidan?” Ben turns to him now. “Would you want a second date with Erin?”

Aidan looks like he’s at a loss for words. So once again, I step in. “I’m sure Aidan would prefer going out with someone more like Grace,” I tell him. “I have to admit I’ve been kind of a stick-in-the-mud tonight.” I smile at Aidan. “My apologies. I probably shouldn’t have agreed to do this. Like I said, I’m just not the blind date type.”

They continue to chat some more and I feel like actually jumping overboard now. I can’t even explain what’s going on with me. Maybe it’s PMS or something, but I feel like I’m on the edge of tears, and the sooner this night ends, the happier I will be. Is it because Aidan seems uninterested, or that I’m jealous of Grace, or simply that I feel hurt by Blake? Maybe it’s all three; I don’t know. But I do know one thing: I won’t be watching this particular episode of
Celebrity Blind Date.

Blake is somewhat apologetic the following week
. We go out for our usual date on Friday and have a pretty good time, but I feel off balance and confused. I’m just not too sure about our relationship anymore. I know it’s because I had assumed things were going to change between us, in a good way, and then they didn’t. Also there’s that whole blind date thing … and Grace, who, to my surprise, has become a regular part of the dating cast. I can tell that Blake still thinks she’s pretty cool. Is there more to it than that? I don’t know. I feel worried. And Blake is so caught up in the TV show that he seems oblivious.

As a result, I’m very glad to go back to work on our show, and planning for the Milan trip is a good distraction. This time I decide to follow Paige’s example and do my research. Mollie becomes my study buddy, a plan that has a twofold reasoning on my part. Obviously, I really need someone to help me brush up on Italian fashion so I can hold my own against Paige. But the larger reason is I know Mollie’s a little bummed
that she’s not back in school yet. “Winter term will be here soon enough,” I reassure her. And I tell her that she’s wise to give herself — and Fern — more time to adjust. Fortunately, she seems to have moved well beyond the baby blues or postpartum depression or whatever it was, and most of the time she seems pretty normal. And she’s more than happy to help me. This research is a natural fit for Mollie—she loves following fashion and the names of the designers roll off her tongue almost as easily as they do for Paige.

“It’s a good thing the show isn’t dependent on you for your fashion expertise,” Mollie tells me two days before we’re scheduled to leave for Italy. She’s been quizzing me on designers all evening.

“Hey, I mistook Rossi for Rosso — so sue me.”

“Well, Sergio Rossi might sue you if he heard you saying that Renzo Rosso launched the Eco Pump.” Mollie shakes her head like she can’t believe how dense I am. “And Rosso might sue you if you said that Rossi owned Diesel.”

“Maybe I should just forget about both of them—if I can’t keep them straight, what’s the point?”

“The reason I told you about Sergio
Rossi,”
she persists, “is because I thought you’d appreciate his commitment to sustainability. The Eco Pump is a
biodegradable
shoe, Erin. He uses this stuff called Liquid Wood for the heel and the sole. Plus he treats the leather with an ecological tanning process. And part of the profits from his sales go to Good Planet. I thought you’d like to mention that, if you get the chance.”

“Right.” I nod. “I remember now.”

“And Renzo
Rosso
is of interest because of Diesel. You said you like Diesel designs.”

“You’re right. I do. But right now my head is so full of names
like Pucci and Prada and Versace and Gucci and Biagiotti and Balestra. It’s like I’m suddenly hungry for linguini.”

“Oh, don’t rub it in.” She groans. “Thinking about the food you guys will have in Italy is torturous. I only read the first half of
Eat, Pray, Love
while I was pregnant, but I was craving Italian food for weeks after that. No wonder I piled on the pounds before Fern was born.”

“So there’s a reason to be thankful you don’t have to go to Milan,” I tell her.

She rolls her eyes. “Will you be worried about Blake while you’re gone?”

“Why should I be?”

“Well, it sounded like he was kind of into that Grace chick.”

“I never said that,” I argue. Which is true; I didn’t tell her that. In fact, I said very little about the whole blind date thing. It’s something I want to forget. “What makes you think Blake’s into Grace?”

Mollie looks uneasy. “I guess it was something Tony said.” “What?” I demand.

“Just that Blake thinks Grace is pretty cool.”

I nod. “She
is
pretty cool. I like her too.”

“And you’re okay that Blake’s spending time with her?”

I’m not sure what to say.

“I mean on the show. Tony said she’s already become part of the regular cast.”

“Tony sure seems to know a lot about it.” I’m gathering up my stuff, thinking I should get home since tomorrow’s my last day to get organized before we leave for Italy. “Has he been spending a lot of time with Blake?”

“I think he’s trying to get some hands-on experience with the show.”

“Is he going to do a blind date?”

“Sounds like it.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

She holds up her hands. “Like I told you, Erin. Tony and I are just hanging together as friends these days. Kind of like you and Blake.”

“Right …”

Mollie narrows her eyes. “And you’re okay with that, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“You and Blake just being friends?” I shrug. “I guess so.”

Mollie gets a knowing look. “You’re not.” “I don’t know,” I admit.

“Well, I think you’re jealous of Grace,” she says a bit smugly.

I roll my eyes. “Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t even know. But I do know I need to go. I don’t have time to think about this now.”

“And if, while you’re gone, Blake and Grace start to date … you’re okay with that?”

“If that’s what they want, sure. Why not?”

Mollie looks doubtful, but to my relief doesn’t say anything.

“Look, if Blake and I are meant to be together, it’ll happen, right?”

She nods. “Right. It’ll happen.”

“Tomorrow’s a crazy day for me,” I tell her. “We have planning meetings and I still need to pack. So I might not see you again before we leave.” I hug her.

“Drop me a text or two if you’re not too busy,” she tells me. “I’ll be praying for your trip.”

“Thanks.” It’s a relief to see Mollie’s faith is still intact— perhaps even stronger than before. I lean down and kiss baby Fern good-bye. “Now don’t you grow up while I’m gone.”

As I drive home I try not to obsess over what Mollie insinuated about Blake and Grace. Really, I have no control over what does or doesn’t happen between them. At least Blake and I are good friends now. Although we haven’t spent as much time together since
Celebrity Blind Date
went into production, I know that our friendship is the most solid it’s been for a while — and way better than when I went to the Bahamas and figured we were finished. And I value our friendship. Even if that’s all it’s meant to be, I should be thankful.

The doctor decided, and Fran reluctantly agreed, that it’s too soon for her to travel abroad. Although she’s feeling much better and is able to care for herself, an overseas trip is just not in the cards right now. Her mom was hugely relieved to see Fran’s improvement and went home to Boston last week — and I’m sure Fran was hugely relieved to see her go. Even though Fran can’t go to Milan, I think it’s been good medicine for her to participate in the plans for this trip. And she’ll continue to play a consultant role from her home. Plus she assured us that she intends to be well enough to come on the next trip we take.

After the stresses of the Bahamas trip, Mom had really hoped that Fran would be up for this one, and Helen had planned for them to direct in tandem, lightening the load. At
least Leah gets to come now. Naturally, Leah is thrilled, but Paige is concerned. For some reason Paige doesn’t completely trust Leah’s ability to direct or produce. Paige only sees her as a motivated assistant —not someone with producer abilities. I’m not sure. I guess we’ll have to see.

“I have something special planned for this trip,” Leah tells us as we’re boarding the flight to Milan. She points to me. “Which is why I asked you to bring your camcorder. My carry-on bag is full of accessories and beauty items I gathered from a couple of sponsors last week. We’re going to give some lucky passengers in-flight makeovers.”

“Seriously?” I glance around the first-class section, wondering how these people will react to a fashion intervention.

“We might have to start in the coach section,” Mom suggests.

“What about the flight attendants?” Paige looks worried. “Will they think we’re a security risk?”

“We’ve already gotten permission from the airline,” Mom explains. Obviously she and Leah have been in cahoots. “The airline appreciates the free publicity we’ll be giving them.”

“If all goes well, they might even buy some ad time on the show,” Leah says.

Paige smiles. “Well, this could be fun.” She points at me. “Let’s start with you.”

“Right,” I say sarcastically. “I’ll film myself while you make me over.”

“We’ll do you off camera,” Paige says. “That way the passengers will see two good examples of travel chic.” “Travel chic?”

She nods as she reaches for her own carry-on. “That’s what I’m going to call this.” And just like that, she’s working
me over. “At least you’re wearing a cool set of sweats,” she tells me. “But you need some color and sparkle.” I let her do her thing as a middle-aged woman across the aisle watches with interest.

“You’re very good at that,” she tells Paige. Paige explains who we are and why we’re doing this and asks the woman if she’d like a minimakeover too. At first the woman is hesitant.

“Oh, come on, Mona,” the guy with her urges. “What can it hurt? And it’ll pass the time.”

So Leah gets Mona to sign a release paper, and with my camera running, Paige begins her magic. Because my sister is so cheerful and upbeat, Mona actually begins to relax and has a good time as Paige perks up her makeup, helps her with her hair, adds a scarf, and tries out some accessories.

“And I get to keep these?” Mona asks as she puts on a pair of silver earrings.

“All the accessories are compliments of Banana Republic and Bluefly dot-com,” Leah explains.

“You look great,” the guy tells Mona when Paige has finished her magic.

Leah pulls out a hand mirror and gives it to Mona.

“See,” Paige says with satisfaction.
“Travel chic.”

When our flight is somewhere over the Atlantic and food-and-beverage service is taking a break, we emerge from the first-class section to seek more takers. I continue to film Paige as she approaches her first “lucky” coach-class candidate—a young woman dressed in frumpy sweats, with her hair pulled back in a stark ponytail.

“Hi,” Paige says cheerfully. “I’m Paige Forrester from
On the Runway
and I’d like to give you a minimakeover.”

The woman blinks.
“What?”

“We’re on our way to Fashion Week in Milan,” Paige explains. “And we thought it would be fun to help some passengers arrive at their destination looking travel chic.”

“Travel chic?”

“I know how lots of travelers just crawl out of bed, don’t take any time with their appearance, and arrive looking like something the cat dragged in.”

The woman laughs. “That’s true.” She agrees to participate, and after about twenty minutes, Paige has this woman looking great too.

Paige does about a dozen travel chic makeovers. Some women only need a light touch, accessories, and some lip gloss. Some need major help. Finally, despite the increased interest in being made over, Paige and I are both ready for a break. Before we return to first class, we get a solid round of applause from the pleased passengers.

“That went well,” I tell Leah and Mom as we return to our seats.

“Yeah.” Paige nods. “Fun idea.”

“Now you girls might want to get some rest,” Mom advises. “We have a busy schedule in Milan.”

With a connection in Zurich and eighteen hours of travel time, we’re all fairly exhausted when we land, but on the way to the hotel, I feel energized by the beauty of Milan. “I can’t wait to get out there with my camera,” I tell Mom.

“Well, it’s your free day to do as you like,” Leah says. “Make the most of it, because tomorrow, we shift into full speed.”

“We’re staying in a former convent,” Mom informs us.

“Are you kidding?” Paige asks.

She laughs. “Not at all. It’s a smallish Four Seasons hotel near the Via della Spiga and it’s supposed to be quite nice.”

As it turns out, the hotel is very nice, with a great Italian feel to it. Paige and I share the suite this time, and Mom and Leah share an adjoining room.

“I know Dylan’s going to be in Milan,” I say to Paige as we’re getting situated in our room. “I hope you’ll respect me enough not to invite him for a sleepover here.”

She rolls her eyes. “Taking that whole convent thing a bit seriously, are we?”

“You know how I feel about it—engaged or not engaged, I think you should wait until after the wedding.”

“I know.” She sighs. “My old-fashioned little sister.”

“Maybe so. But considering how things went—or nearly went — in the Bahamas, I’d think you might want to reconsider the whole sleeping together thing even more now.”

“Why?” Paige asks as she starts unpacking her carry-on.

“Well, if Dylan had really had an affair with Eliza, would you have broken off your engagement?”

“Maybe …” She sets her cosmetics bag on the bathroom’s travertine countertop.

“And would you have regretted having had sex with him?”

“Maybe …” She turns and looks at me. “So that’s why you think it’s wrong to have sex? Because we might not get married in the end?”

“I saw how hurt you were after the Bahamas, Paige. And I could be wrong, but I think a big part of that hurt was the result of having been so intimate with Dylan. It’s like you gave your heart and everything to him. You totally trusted him with all of you—and then it seemed like he just stomped on it. I mean, he didn’t really, because he didn’t really cheat on you. At least we don’t think he did.”

“But if he
had
actually cheated, you think it would hurt me even more because I’d had sex with him?”

“You’re the only one who can answer that for sure, Paige. Honestly, if it were me—if I trusted someone like that and then he betrayed me? Really, it would hurt a lot!”

She seems to be considering this. “You know, you could be right.”

“And maybe if you weren’t having sex with him … well, maybe it would be better for both of you, and for your relationship in general.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know … but I guess I’ll think about it.”

The rest of our bags are delivered and we continue to unpack. I’m thinking perhaps, just perhaps, I made a little progress with Paige. I really think she’s more vulnerable than she realizes when it comes to her relationship with Dylan. And sometimes I wonder if the engagement might not have simply been a handy escape for both of them. I remember how freaked Paige had been in London, thanks to the media frenzy over her alleged relationship with Benjamin Kross. The paparazzi got the best of her and she even considered stepping out of the spotlight permanently.