Cipher (32 page)

“So far, and it’s
weird
. I’ve never actually been nauseated and still wanted to scarf down a whole bucket of chicken.” Nick dropped to the bed and fell back. “Now I want fried chicken. I wonder if Mahalia would make me some.”

“Probably. Especially if you tell her I’m going to eat some too. Everyone seems obsessed with feeding me.” Kat shifted to lean more comfortably against the headboard. “At least I can give you a little peace from Derek now.”

“Ha.” Nick rolled to her side. “You don’t get it, lady. This kid has kicked his parental instincts into high gear. I’m lucky I’m not on bed rest already.”

Derek had been frantic enough in the first year after he’d become Kat’s guardian…and he hadn’t been a shapeshifter. “Yeah, maybe you are. He means well.”

“Of course he does. He wants the best for everyone, no matter what.” Nick’s dark eyes shone with love. “Unfortunately, what he thinks is best for me right now is to be carried everywhere, not lift a finger, and preferably wear clothes made of safety foam.”

“And you used to think I was joking about the bubble wrap. You better make sure he doesn’t line the kid’s walls with it.”

Nick propped her head up on her arm and watched Kat. “Are you okay? I mean, Ben was your friend, and with what happened to you and Julio…”

If anyone could understand, it would be Nick. Nick, who’d fallen in love with Derek in the midst of her sister’s greatest tragedy. Kat picked at the edge of the bandage around her left wrist and tried to figure out where to start.

In the end, nothing worked but the truth. “I feel like I should feel worse.”

A hint of a smile tilted the corner of Nick’s mouth. “Because you’re happy.”

“Because I’ve been through hell before. Andrew almost bled to death in front of me, and I walked away alone.” Kat shrugged helplessly. “It hurts. Ben, and what happened… It hurts a lot. But this time, I have Andrew. And he makes it hurt a little less.”

“That’s not a betrayal,” Nick whispered fiercely. “Anyone who cares about you would be glad, so glad that you have that.”

“I know.” And she did, because she could remember watching Derek watch Nick, and being so
relieved
that he was loved, even as her own heart broke. She hadn’t begrudged him those moments of happiness. She’d clung to them as proof that the world had a shred of hope. “Thanks, Nick.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s just the truth. The world can be such an ugly place, but it can also be so beautiful it takes your breath away. The trick is to try and find more of the beauty than the ugliness.”

Kat couldn’t stop her lips from curving up. “Andrew takes my breath away.”

Nick rolled over on the bed, laughing. “Then go look at him, and send my husband in here while you’re at it.”

Kat stood and smoothed the blankets. “Andrew probably needs rescuing anyway.” Which was an exaggeration.

She hoped.

Eighteen months of holidays at the ranch had given her a rough idea of the layout. Instead of interrupting an angry confrontation, she found Derek and Andrew in the library. Talking.

No, not just talking. They were laughing together in a way she hadn’t seen in years. Not since before Derek had been turned, when they’d both been humans barely brushing the fringes of a supernatural world.

Brushing them because of her. Because she’d never been entirely human, and Derek had lived on those fringes because he wanted to give her what she needed to grow into her own as a psychic.

Knocking lightly on the doorframe, she leaned in. “Derek? Your wife wants you to go pamper her.”

Derek damn near tripped in his haste to get to his feet. “Is she okay?”

Poor Nick. “She’s fine. I think her request is secret code for ‘leave Andrew and Kat alone’.”

“Smartass.” Derek pointed at Andrew. “Do we need to find you a bedroom to sleep in?”

To Andrew’s credit, he managed not to laugh. “We’ve already been offered the guest house.”

“Which we’re sleeping in together,” Kat pointed out helpfully, just to make Derek wince. He didn’t disappoint, but as soon as his face screwed up into his big-brother-about-to-make-a-fuss expression, she laughed. “Get lost, Derek.”

“Nice to see you too, Kat.” But he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before making himself scarce.

Kat closed the door behind him, then moved to stand in front of Andrew. “Hi.”

He caught her hand and nudged her leg, knocking her down into his lap. “Hi.”

The world fell away, taking the pain of the last few days with it. Here, in this moment, it was her and him, and Nick was right. Life was about clinging to the beautiful parts. “So. Derek didn’t punch you in the face, it seems.”

“Mmm.” Andrew wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger. “He was more interested in whether I plan on breaking your heart again.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“I told him that part of our lives is over, and we’re trying something new—being happy.”

They’d broken free of their endless loop. Finally. “Good answer. Especially since I’m pretty sure I already moved in with you, without either of us discussing it.”

He laughed and settled his hands on her thighs. “I did hear that Anna’s going to live with Sera.”

“I said it was okay.” Which had been a presumptuous move, she supposed, in retrospect. Enough of one for nerves to set her heart to racing. “I probably should have asked you first. I mean, asked you if you want me living with you for the rest of forever.”

“You mean like I should have asked before I informed your cousin that I intend to marry you as soon as you’ll let me?”

Now her heart was skipping beats, doing a funny new dance in her chest as she discovered a spontaneous interest in the institution of matrimony. “You could probably talk me around. Only if you come up with an awesome idea for a wedding, though. Mac and Jackson stole Vegas. If we do that now, we’ll just look like copycats.”

“Uh-huh.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “We’ll think of something. I mean, we’re creative people, right? And we’ve got time to figure it out.”

How could she have ever thought she was cold? He warmed her, even with the softest touch, and she knew now how easily he could bring that gentle heat to a boil. “We’re brilliant.” She murmured the words against his cheek, then kissed his temple. “We’ll get married eventually, but it doesn’t even matter. We’re Kat and Andrew. We just
are
.”

“You know, that’s exactly what I said.” And then he kissed her.

Soft lips, hard body, slow burn and a pleasure that transcended flesh. She melted into him, then took Nick’s advice and lowered her shields. Not so much, just enough to let his love flood her, to lift her up to a place beyond bad memories and pain.

It was beauty, and she seized it with both hands and savored it, drank it down until she was giddy. Drunk. Until her fingers tightened on his shoulders and his dug into her hips, and even though they were panting and half-crazy, there was no shame in the loss of control.

No shame, and no fear. Just Kat, and Andrew, and together they were everything.

About the Author

How do you make a Moira Rogers? Take a former forensic science and nursing student obsessed with paranormal romance and add a computer programmer with a passion for gritty urban fantasy. To learn more about this romance-writing, crime-fighting duo, visit their webpage at
www.moirarogers.com
, or drop them an email at
[email protected]
. (Disclaimer: crime-fighting abilities may appear only in the aforementioned fevered imaginations.)

Look for these titles by Moira Rogers

Now Available:

Red Rock Pass

Cry Sanctuary

Sanctuary Lost

Sanctuary’s Price

Sanctuary Unbound

Southern Arcana

Crux

Crossroads

Deadlock

Building Sanctuary

A Safe Harbor

Undertow

…and the Beast

Sabine

Kisri

Wilder’s Mate

Coming Soon:

Children of the Undying

Demon Bait

Hammer Down

Hunter’s Prey

He’s no one’s hero. She’s no one’s pawn. And now they’re caught in the crossfire…

Deadlock

© 2011 Moira Rogers

Southern Arcana, Book 3

Abandoned by her wolf shifter father and raised by her human psychic mother, Carmen Mendoza can’t deny she’s different. She craves things most women shy away from—and she has a trail of shapeshifting ex-boyfriends to prove it.

Working at a clinic for supernatural creatures, she’s escaped the notice of her father’s legacy-obsessed family. Until they need a pawn in their bid for power. Snared by a vicious spell designed to wake her inner wolf, Carmen’s only hope is to trust the one man strong enough to soothe her darkest instincts.

Alec Jacobson was once the heir apparent to the wolves’ ruling elite, until he walked away to marry the woman he loved. She paid with her life. Now he lives as a rebel, a black-sheep alpha who protects the supernatural residents of New Orleans from the wolves’ barbaric class system. Too bad he can’t protect himself from his need for Carmen.

Yet staking his claim on his enemy’s niece will turn his city into a battleground. Unless he can find a way to stop breaking the rules—and start making them.

Warning: This book contains a renegade alpha wolf, a smart empathic doctor, very dirty sex with psychic safe-words, the occasional dominance game in and out of the bedroom, and a group of supernatural citizens ready to take on the corrupt leaders of their world.

Enjoy the following excerpt for
Deadlock:

Carmen slowed and spun, walking backwards. “How long have you lived here?”

“This house?” He slowed too, to a casual amble. “Bought it…oh, nine or ten years back.”

“And do you do this often?”

“Run? Or chase women through the woods?”

“That’s chivalrous of you, to keep pretending you’re the one doing the chasing here.”

One eyebrow quirked up. “You’re right. If I were really chasing you, you’d be under me already.”

“Now there’s a thought.” She had to get used to the blatant, idle flirtation. She couldn’t get aroused every time he said something like that, or she’d be perpetually horny—and frustrated. “I meant your obvious role as protector and mentor. Do you have a lot of new wolves beating down your door?”

“A few,” he acknowledged with that infuriating little smile. “Someone has to take care of them, and I’m good at it.”

And he needed it. She might never hear the admission from his lips, but she felt it plainly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You’re going to trip and break your neck if you keep walking backwards on this path.”

She stopped. “I was trying not to be rude.”

He jerked his chin toward the path. “Quarter mile, maybe a little more. There’s a nice clearing. I’ll give you a ten-second head start.”

The predatory glint in his eyes stole her breath and kicked her heart rate into high gear. “Head start for what?”

“Before I chase you. For real.”

She had to be crazy to consider it, even if the thought made her body buzz. “And then what? More dirty talk because you can’t sleep with me, but you can sure the hell torture me with your eyes and muscles and ridiculously hot voice?”

He actually laughed. “Can’t do much to fix any of that. I could back off, I guess, but you’re not going to like that much better.”

“No, I suppose I wouldn’t.” She didn’t feel like a crazed animal, but she’d never been quite so moved by feral instinct, either. “Go easy on me, would you?”

Pacing herself wasn’t a problem, not if it was only a quarter of a mile, so Carmen ran hard, pushing herself almost at a sprint. Soon, the near-echo of trampled brush drifted from behind her, and she smiled through her panting.

He let her get three long strides into the clearing before he tackled her, somehow twisting their bodies as they fell so she sprawled across his chest. His low, delighted laughter curled around her, warm as the arms that circled her waist. “Easy as I get.”

Too easy. Too intimate. She wiggled out of his arms and landed on the ground beside him. “You smile like you’re not used to it, did you know that?”

Laughter died, and he twisted his head to stare at her. “It’s been a while. Only other person willing to poke at me until I laugh is Kat. I always figured she did it because she knows I’m not going to kill her, even if I’m glaring like I want to. An empathy thing.”

“Maybe.” She wanted to reassure him with her touch, but she thrummed with a sexual awareness he could surely sense. “Is everyone else so careful with you because they’re scared?”

“Some of them are.” He slid his fingers over hers, his hand a heavy weight. “What do you feel? Beneath the sex, what does my power feel like?”

Dominant. Implacable. “You’re strong, and you’re intense.” All things so wound up in her attraction to him that there could be no separation.

“And I’m a little crazy. Or I act that way enough that everyone thinks it’s true. Better if most of the scary people in town are wary of pissing me off.”

“Makes sense.” His hand was huge, warm and a bit rough. She wanted to feel it on her body, sliding down her back and curling around her hip to hold her still for a hard, demanding thrust.

The mental image formed so quickly that all she could do was bite her lip as she blinked and willed it away.

His fingers tightened around hers. “I hate not knowing what to do. If I’ll hurt you more leaving you alone, or by giving you what you crave. I don’t want to hurt you at all. Do you have any fucking idea how long it’s been since I didn’t know what to do?”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” she admonished. “It isn’t your job to keep me from hurting, and no one knows everything all the time.”

“It’s my job to keep from hurting you.” He lifted his hand and hers with it, sliding it up until they pressed into the grass over her head. Then he released her and rolled to his side, propped up on his elbow so the bulk of his body loomed above her. “It’s all a damn excuse. It’s my job, and I’d be doing it anyway…but that’s not why I’m doing it now.”