City Girl (5 page)

“I can't remember.”

Darvi looked very pleased with herself. “Well, you have a wife now. She'll see that you don't go hungry.”

And down the table some more, Cash was sitting with Darvi's youngest bridesmaid, a sweet girl of 11 who wanted to know all about ranching.

“How do the cattle get to market?”

“We round them up and load them onto the train.”

Not wishing to be impolite, she tried not to show her dismay.

“Doesn't it smell rather bad?”

Cash smiled. “In summer it does.”

“What do the people do, just ride with a hankie over their noses?”

“Well, the cattle are not with the people. They have special train cars.”

Cash watched as she bit her lip and giggled.

“I thought they were right in with the people.”

“That
would
smell rather bad,” he said and made her laugh again.

Hours later, after good food and lots of hugs and good wishes, the bride and groom climbed into a covered carriage and settled against the plush seat.

“You know,” Dakota said for his wife's ears alone, his arm holding her close, “I couldn't help but notice that this dress has a lot of buttons down the back.”

Darvi turned to look at him.

“It does, doesn't it? Do you think that will be a problem?”

“Not for me.” He sounded very satisfied. “I'm a very patient man.”

Darvi started to laugh, but Dakota caught it with a kiss before they both settled back to finish the ride to the hotel.

“I've been reading the Bible,” Charles told Cash at breakfast the next morning.

“What have you been reading?”

“Genesis,” the older man answered and then seemed to be searching for words. “I'm a businessman, Cash. I try never to lead with my heart.”

Cash waited, sure his father was going somewhere with this.

“I guess I'm just trying to say that I never saw God as logical before, but I'm very impressed with how He laid out the world and commanded Adam to care for it. And even after Adam and Eve had to leave the garden, God had plans for them. He never set them adrift, as it were.”

“No, He sure didn't. Genesis is a great place to start, Father. That was wise of you to start at the beginning.”

“There are some things that confuse me, though. I mean, why would Noah, after being so disciplined to do this huge job God gave him, get drunk?”

Cash smiled a little. “And why do I, knowing I was bought with a price, Christ's precious blood, commit sins and want my own way?”

“Why do you?” Charles persisted, truly needing an answer.

“Because I'm still a sinner. Scripture says the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I've been saved from eternal death, but as long as I'm on this earth, the battle with my flesh will continue. I can choose not to sin at any time— God's Spirit inside of me gives me the strength to do that— but I don't always choose it. I sometimes want to sin and don't care that I've put myself out of fellowship with God.”

“What does that mean, ‘put yourself out of fellowship'?”

“My faith in Christ's life, death, and resurrection made me clean before God, but sin separates us from God, so when I sin, I lose communion with Him. I'm still His child—it's impossible to lose that—but until I confess my sin and repent of it, there's a barrier between God and me. He's a huge, forgiving God, so I have no excuse. I just need to agree with Him about my sin, and all lines of communication become open again.”

Charles nodded, his face intent. He was opening his mouth to speak again but suddenly stopped. Cash saw his father's eyes dart across the room before the older man shifted his gaze to his coffee cup and took a drink.

Cash turned to see his mother had come in and let the door swing shut behind her. Cash watched her as she came to the table.

“You're talking about God, aren't you?”

Charles looked a bit sheepish, but Virginia sat down, her face open.

“It's all right, Charles,” she shocked him by saying. “I've been doing some thinking of my own.”

“On what exactly?”

Virginia turned and looked at Cash. “I've been patting myself on the back about this wedding.” She smiled a little wryly. “I'm not sure why—Clarisse Wingate did all the work—but for some reason it's given me great pride that two of my boys have found wives. But in the midst of those thoughts, you came to mind. It's not that you're not married, Cash; it's what you believe. I was just short of taking bows over Dakota and Darvi's marriage, and then I thought you wouldn't feel that way. You would thank God for putting them together.”

Cash only looked at her, still too surprised to speak.

“You would, wouldn't you, Cash?”

“Yes, Mother,” he said gently. “I would.”

Virginia sighed a little, her gaze going upward. “I just don't know if He wants me. I know Charles is interested, and I want to be, but I feel as though God is hiding.”

“The God I believe in, the God of the Bible, doesn't play hide-and-seek with anyone. He's not capricious. Deuteronomy 4:29 tells us God can be found if we search for Him with all our heart and soul.”

“Where does it say that?” Charles asked, standing as he spoke and moving to the small desk in the kitchen where he'd been keeping the Bible. When he came back, Cash opened the book and showed him the verse. Virginia pressed in to see as well.

For the next few minutes Cash took them to passages that spoke of God and His expectations of the people He created. Both Virginia and Charles were very attentive. Cash didn't press his parents, and after just a short time, he sat back and was quiet.

Virginia was the first to speak. “Charles, would you mind terribly if we didn't leave for Europe this month?”

“No, I wouldn't, but why wait?”

“I just want to hear more of what Pastor Cooper has to say. I want to go this morning and next week too. If we're leaving soon, I might be distracted.”

Charles took her hand, and for a long time they looked at each other.

“I'm a stubborn old man,” he said, having forgotten Cash's presence.

“You're in good company then,” Virginia said, her eyes still on his. “You're married to a stubborn old woman.”

Charles raised Virginia's hand and kissed it, but they weren't distracted with each other for very long. This subject was too urgent in their minds. Only seconds passed before they had more questions for their oldest son.

“What are you doing?” Liberty asked her husband when she found him poised outside the closed kitchen door. She was ready for the service long before she needed to be, and because she'd already had some juice, she was hungry.

“Cash is talking to the folks about spiritual issues,” Slater responded, his voice low. “I don't want to interrupt.”

Liberty nodded. She couldn't really hear what was being said, but she was quiet with her husband. They stood for a moment longer until Slater glanced at his wife's face. As usual she looked a little pale in the morning. He knew it would help if she could eat.

“How about,” he started, “I take you out to breakfast?”

“All right. Do I need a sweater?”

“I'll keep you warm.”

Liberty smiled in delight as he took her hand and led her to the front door. An impulsive outing was always fun in her mind, and she loved having time with her spouse, but even as they left, both husband and wife remembered to pray for the people in the kitchen.

Three

“Y
OUR FATHER GAVE ME THE LONGEST
hug he's given me in years,” Gretchen Rawlings told Cash, Slater, and Liberty after the train pulled out of the St. Louis station. “I don't know when I've seen him so tender.”

The older woman's eyes misted over, and her three grandchildren let silence fall, but they understood just what she meant. The questions and discussions they'd had in the last few days and the interest they saw in Charles and Virginia had given them all renewed hope that someday they might set their faith, their future, in Christ.

It was five days after the wedding and time for all of them to head home. Before catching their own train back to spend a week on the gulf, Darvi and Dakota had spent a few days on their own and then come back to the Rawlingses' house to open gifts. Now these other four would ride together as far as Dallas before Slater and Liberty would connect to one train and Cash and his grandmother to another.

Everyone was on the quiet side. It had been a tiring time—fun, but draining both physically and emotionally. The family was weary. And Liberty was not just tired—she was hungry. She had not felt up to eating before they left, so it wasn't surprising that she was ready for food not too many miles down the tracks. The young couple asked the others to join them in the dining car, but both Cash and Grandma Rawlings declined.

“I'm rather glad we're on our own for a moment, Cash,” Gretchen turned from the window to say.

“Why is that?”

“I've been meaning to tell you that you need to get married.”

Cash looked at her, hardly able to believe his ears.

“You're the fourth person to tell me that in a week,” he admitted quietly and found his grandmother's eyes widening in surprise.

His face was so serious that she put a hand on his arm.

“I'm sorry, Cash. Truly I am. That was very insensitive of me.”

And that was all. No “buts,” no explanation of good intentions or having only his happiness and well-being in mind—just an apology.

Cash smiled at her and she smiled in return, and although they shared no other words, Cash's heart was very thoughtful.

It was never my intention to be the last one, but it's not as if I'd planned it. I couldn't be happier for my brothers, but seeing them get married doesn't change anything in my life.
Cash let his heart be quiet for a moment, and then he spoke to the Lord.
You don't have this for me yet. I don't need to even ask about it. I can see it with my own eyes. I feel I'm ready to be married, but You know me best.

Cash could see that this was all he could say to God. He could thank God and trust Him for the future, but he couldn't expect God to act on something just because he felt the time was right in his human mind.

Cash's own sense of weariness suddenly intensified. He was so glad for the time he'd had with the family, but right now he was tired. A glance at his grandmother, whose stamina always amazed him, told him she was settling in for sleep too. Cash had no problem joining her. Even knowing he would have to move when Slater and Liberty came back, he stretched his long legs toward the seat across from him and let his body slouch down into comfort so he could sleep.