Claimed By Chaos (25 page)

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.” He said as he ducked his head so he could find her eyes. Her lips twisted in frustration and she tried to avoid looking at him.

“You should probably…”

“Look at me.” Alastair interrupted her. She turned her face to his and looked at him pointedly.

“You should probably…” Giselle couldn’t stand how flustered she was. She felt like a complete ninny.

“You’ve already said that part.” He teased. She swatted his chest.

“Stop.” She said and she took a deep breath. “You should finish outside of me until we’re sure.” She said quickly. Alastair’s head pulled back and he blinked slowly for a few moments before he shook his head.

“No.”

“No?” Giselle tried to step back but his arms locked.

“No. I’m not spilling myself anywhere but deep within you. I’m not pulling out of you like you’re a whore. I have no doubts, Giselle. I intend to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to see you round and heavy with my child. I’ll use every opportunity I get to make that a reality.” Alastair’s eyes dropped to her stomach and she felt it flutter. Excitement and panic flooded her. Giselle tried to push it all down but it wasn’t working with him so close. She swallowed nervously.

“Please, don’t do this to me.” Her voice was weak and unsteady. “Don’t take the choice away from me.” She looked into his eyes, they were turbulent and dark.

“The choice is entirely yours, mademoiselle.” His voice had become smooth and warm. Giselle felt goosebumps spread down her arms as his hands slid up her back and into her hair. He tilted her head back and pulled her lips to his. He held her there, hanging from his lips until her breathing became rapid and she was ready to beg him to take her mouth. “Do not offer your body to me if you aren’t going to let me do with it as I please.” Alastair released her and she stumbled back. Giselle felt dizzy and hot. Need and confusion clouded her mind. “You should probably go inside and get ready for dinner.” He said softly.

She felt her head nod and she turned. Her legs wobbled as she moved drunkenly through the canopy of trees. Her skin prickled and the hairs on the back of her neck stood as Alastair prowled behind her. Giselle kept her gaze focused on the ground and her breathing until she saw the study doors. When she went for the handle, Alastair’s arm reached around her and swung it open as the other wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against him. She felt his mouth press against her ear.

“You won’t be able to help yourself, Giselle. You’ll come to me and you’ll beg me to take you. And I won’t do a damned thing to stop you. I’ll give you everything you ask for until I have all of you.” Alastair promised. Giselle shut her eyes and trembled. She felt his arm slide away and she gripped the doorframe until she felt steady enough to stand. She looked back and up and was mesmerized by his lips. They were so close and she felt herself sway toward them. They tilted and she licked her own as she watched them part to speak. “Go.”

It was as if a spell had broken. Giselle took a deep breath and then ran. She rushed through the study and up the stairs. Her eyes were blind to everything as she flew down the hall. She flung her door open and then collapsed against it as it shut. She slid to the floor and stared across the room for several minutes until she heard the handle turn and felt the door push against her.

“My lady?” Jane’s gentle call startled Giselle and she jumped.

Giselle looked down at herself and gasped in shock when she saw that her bodice was still gaping. Her hand flew to her mouth as she felt a laugh and a sob burst simultaneously from her throat.

Chapter 42

It was growing late but Alastair knew she would come. He stared at the bed as he waited. His hands rested on the arms of the chair and his vision stretched out, beyond the room. He saw Giselle, under the tree, shattering in his arms. As he had predicted, being fully clothed had made joining with her only mind numbingly incredible. The layers of their clothes had muffled his body’s reaction enough that he was able to focus on the feel of his mouth against her and where their bodies joined. Being naked and feeling Giselle naked against him had been ecstasy. But it was the sort of ecstasy that could shred his sanity if he wasn’t careful. It was like the euphoria of opium: maddening, beautiful and itchy. He would lose himself if he overindulged.

It was a gamble to use desire to break down her resistance. He was using a weapon that had the potential to inflict as much injury on him as it did her. Alastair knew Giselle was as susceptible as he was but he wasn’t sure how much it would cost him. Loving her was far more disorienting than he had expected. The overwhelming pleasure was unsettling on its own, but combined with the fascination he felt with her and the emotions she stirred within him, Alastair felt like he was drowning at times.

Just when he caught his breath, Giselle would do something to pull him back under. Her words pounded and churned within him.
“You should finish outside of me until we’re sure.” “I’m not marrying anyone.”
And he saw her pulling away and shutting him out. Fear and frustration swelled and it made him restless. He wanted to hide, to get away from his emotions.
How do you
escape something that’s inside of you?
Alastair wondered. She was inside of him. If he failed, if she walked away, she would destroy him from within like a cancer.

He saw Giselle standing in front of him and he returned to the bedroom. He searched her face. Her eyes were red and her nose was pink at the edges. Her hair was a mess and she was shaking. She had put up a hell of a fight. Alastair let his eyes slide down her body. Her nipples pebbled beneath her gown as his gaze touched them. When he reached her thighs she gasped and swayed.

“Take off your gown and get on the bed.” His voice was harsh and it took all of his strength to remain still as her hands rose to the straps. He watched the gown slide down her body and his erection throbbed angrily. Giselle kept her eyes on his as she sat on the bed and scooted back. “Spread your thighs.” He commanded as he stood and walked toward the bed.

Chapter 43

The next morning they were away shortly after breakfast. Alastair almost called their journey off when Giselle strode from the house toward the stables in her “disguise”. She wore a hat and had her hair pulled in a simple queue and tucked into her coat. She wore a white shirt, black waistcoat and coat. Buckskin breeches and hessians clung to her legs and would have been painfully revealing if she hadn’t chosen a large greatcoat. Alastair could see that she’d bound her breasts but there was still something elementally feminine about her. He shook his head and grumbled as he lifted her onto Lucifer’s back. He swung into the saddle and grimly signaled for them to be off.

Giselle was tense and quiet as they left Winthorpe. Alastair was content to let her remain pensive, his mind was absorbed with what had followed after she appeared in his room the night before.

He had imagined that he would break her, make her understand that fighting was futile by showing her how completely he could possess her body and that she was helpless to stop him. He had intended to use sensuality and pleasure ruthlessly. At best, he had been demanding. Giselle had been urgent and fragile. She begged and tore at his clothes frantically as he pleasured her with his mouth and then rode her until they were both exhausted. Despite her earlier request, she wrapped herself around him and held him tightly as he poured himself into her.

When it was over, she was silent as she curled against his side and fell asleep. Tears clung to her eyelashes and Alastair stared at them until they dried. He filled the hours, whispering reasons and promises as he saturated himself in the sight, feel and smell of her.

By midmorning Giselle had shaken off her uncertainty and became joyous as Lucifer and Sleipnir raced through the countryside. Her eyes and lips teased Alastair as she pushed her mount to fly faster. As Alastair had predicted, he spent most of the day in pain but it didn’t prevent him from enjoying the exhilaration of their ride. When they stopped to let the horses rest they ate quickly without drawing attention.

It was late afternoon when they reached London and clattered into the mews behind Spencer Place. A few of the grooms raised their brows as Alastair lifted Giselle from the saddle. He ignored their glances as he cursed himself for forgetting she was in disguise. He was striding swiftly toward the house and had almost reached the doors when he noticed that Giselle wasn’t with him. He turned and found her staring at the house.

“Are you coming in?” He teased. She frowned as she jogged to his side and grabbed his arm.

“I can’t enter Spencer Place like this. I can’t meet your mother dressed like a boy!” She hissed. Alastair laughed softly as he shook his head.

“I can assure you, Maman will not confuse you for a boy or be offended. You forget who her daughter is. If anything, she will love you more for it.” He assured her as he grabbed her arm and tugged her toward the house.

When they entered the front hall, Gilles was waiting. Giselle saw him and ran. She threw herself in his arms and he laughed as he scooped her up. Alastair stifled his annoyance. A moment later, Maman appeared with Elise on her arm. Gilles turned Giselle and her eyes grew wide as she took them in. Gilles pushed her forward.

“Maman, Elise, this is Lady Giselle St. Claire.” He said softly. Alastair heard his voice waver slightly. His brother was overjoyed to introduce Giselle to them. All three women curtsied. Maman’s eyes were rapidly appraising Giselle from head to toe. He knew she wouldn’t find her lacking. Giselle was nervously returning her gaze. “Giselle, this is my mother, Mrs. Celine Spencer.” Gilles smiled at Alastair as Maman stepped forward and pulled Giselle into a warm embrace.

“Mon petite! You must call me Maman! You are more than I imagined!” Maman gushed. Giselle’s eyes flared and misted as she tentatively returned the hug.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you!” Giselle whispered, overcome with emotion. Maman stepped back from Giselle as they parted and looked her over again before her head swung to Alastair.

“Oh, Alastair! She is magnifique! No?” She asked excitedly. Alastair did his best to not blush as he nodded and looked down at his boots.

“Yes, Maman, she is.” He said quietly. Gilles chuckled.

“Giselle, allow me to introduce my wife, Lady Elise Spencer, the Countess of Cambroke.” He said as he went to Elise’s side. Giselle was transfixed as Elise curtsied.

“Lady St. Claire, it’s such a pleasure to finally welcome you to Spencer Place!” Elise said as she held out hand. Giselle blinked rapidly as she reached for it.

“Lady Elise, I have heard so much about you!” She squeezed Elise’s hand as her eyes flew to Gilles. “Gilles! She’s so lovely!” Giselle whispered. Elise blushed.

“I have been told that you are exquisite, Lady Giselle.” She said softly as her head angled toward Alastair. His eyes snapped to Gilles and found him smirking. There was a commotion from the stairs as Madeline came rushing toward them.

“You’re here! Bon!” She announced as she came to halt in front of Giselle. Her eyes swept over Giselle quickly and she laughed as she threw her arms around her. “You will do very well, mignon!” She announced. Giselle was once again overcome. Gilles cleared his throat and Madeline blushed as she stepped back.

“Lady St. Claire, Her Grace, the Dowager Duchess of Clerendon. Madeline, Lady Giselle St. Claire.” He scolded softly. Both women curtsied and Madeline shrugged.

“Pardon my manners, we have all been so eager to meet you.” She explained. Giselle blushed as she looked around. Gilles crossed to Alastair and pulled him into a half embrace.

“How was your journey from Fulbourn? You made good time, I assume Lucifer didn’t give you any trouble.” He asked. Alastair nodded as he smiled at Giselle.

“Your ferocious stallion is enamored with Giselle, he would probably let her lead him around like a lap dog if she chose to.” Alastair said as he leaned down to let Maman kiss his cheek.

“You look well, mon fils!” She said softly as Gilles laughed in exasperation.

“I should have known, Lucifer is very fond of the ladies.” He laughed as he guided everyone to the sitting room. Elise linked her arm with Alastair’s as they turned.

“You have to tell me all about Charlotte.” Elise said before she stopped and turned to Giselle. Everyone was moving through the hall but she was frozen. Alastair raised a brow in question. Giselle looked down at her clothing and bit her lip. Maman rushed to her side.

“You all go ahead and I will take Giselle upstairs and help her settle in.” Maman insisted as she guided her up the stairs. Alastair winked at Giselle as she looked over her shoulder. Maman tugged on her arm. “Come! We have a room ready for you with everything you sent over from Grillon’s.”

Chapter 44

“Will you be needing anything else, sir?” Briarly asked as he refilled Alastair’s brandy.

“Hmm? Oh, no. Have a good night, Briarly.” Alastair said as he looked at the old man. He was pleased to have him home. Alastair smiled as the butler bowed and left.

It should have been comforting to be back in his personal domain but it felt empty and didn’t feel like it fit him anymore. Everything about Burton Place felt too small and drab. Which was ridiculous because nothing had changed and it was richly furnished.

Alastair sighed as he raised his snifter. Hopefully, he would be looking for a new home soon. Something he could share with a chaotic minx and fill with children. He frowned at the tug of doubt that prevented him from enjoying the vision.

He told himself that having Giselle at Spencer Place was an advantage. Surrounding her with the family and letting her see that they accepted her had to be a step in the right direction. Alastair could see that she enjoyed being around everyone and they adored her. When he left her, she was glowing. The Mothers were over the moon. He could practically see their minds at work, envisioning a wedding and children. They were also excited at the news that Lucien, Mirabelle and Charlotte would be arriving the following evening.

Giselle had been absorbed with Elise. She followed her, studying the way Elise found her way around the house. Alastair overheard Giselle asking Elise to teach her to see with sound. The request worried him.
What use would she have for such a skill?
He wondered. Elise had been fascinated in return. She had endless questions about Gilles’ time in France and to repeat various phrases in the many languages Giselle spoke. Alastair had paid very close attention when Elise asked Giselle if she could feel her face. Giselle had paused before agreeing but cheerfully sat still while Elise set her fingers to her skin. He focused on Elise and saw the flicker of a frown and that for a brief moment she appeared concerned.

Alastair felt a draft and heard the floor creak. His head turned toward the French doors.

“Having trouble sleeping?” He asked softly as Giselle stepped from the shadows. She shrugged as she looked around the library. Her hand drifted along the shelves and her head tilted as she read titles. Alastair remained still as his eyes followed her around the room. She had changed back into breeches. She took a deep breath and smiled softly.

“This room smells like you.” Giselle looked at Alastair and crossed the room, she didn’t pause before lowering herself onto his lap. She sat astride his thighs and her arms slid around his neck as she pressed close. He shut his eyes as he waited for the flash to fade and for his ears to clear. When he opened his eyes, she was staring down at him.

Alastair slid a hand around her neck and pulled her face to his. Giselle’s lips opened with a sigh and he let his tongue tangle with hers. The erection he’d been suffering all day raged as she rocked against him. He gripped her waist to still her as he angled his head and took their kiss deeper. His other hand started pulling her blouse from her trousers. He slid his hand beneath and pressed it to her skin and let it glide up to her breast. His thumb brushed against her nipple and Giselle pulled from his lips and gasped. Alastair pushed her shirt up and pulled her close as he lowered his head. He teased her nipple with the tip of his tongue and she whimpered until he wrapped his lips around it and began to suckle.

He felt her hands between them and groaned as the buttons of his trousers slipped free. Giselle’s hand closed around his erection gently and she eased him out. Alastair breathed through the shocking of his nerves and felt her hand start to stroke. He released her lips and let his head fall back. For a moment, he remembered that he was supposed to be tying her to him with lust. The pleasure spreading from his cock was so warm and strong, he forgot about tying and just about everything else. Alastair slid lower in the chair so Giselle could spread his trousers wider. His hips started to lift in time with her hand he groaned in delight as he felt her hand squeeze his sack gently. After a day of aching and throbbing in the saddle, it was heaven.

Then, he thought he would cry. Giselle released him and he felt her hands press his shoulders. He lifted his head to beg her to continue but she slid from his lap and sunk to her knees, between his legs. Alastair was beyond words, need and anticipation flooded him and he could only stare as she took him in her hands and set her tongue to him. Her tongue lapped up his length and he hissed. He gripped the arms of the chair desperately as she started to lick hungrily. Giselle’s eyes locked onto his as she rose on her knees and let her tongue swirl around the pulsing head. He held his breath as he silently begged her to take him into her mouth.

As if she could hear his thoughts, her lips curved wickedly, causing him to twitch in her hand. She pressed her lips to the sensitive skin and brushed them back and forth, teasing him with their lush softness. His mouth opened as he watched her lips part and close around him. He exhaled and shut his eyes as he felt her lips slide down, taking him deeper into the soft warmth of her mouth. His head fell back and he thanked every deity he could remember as her hands started stroking and her lips clung as her head rose and fell. Her tongue fluttered against the tip of his cock and his eyes rolled back.

“I will give you anything. Anything you want. Just don’t stop doing that.” Alastair begged weakly. She hummed and he felt it. “Jeesus!” He gasped. Giselle started to suck and he saw stars. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling as he tried to make his lungs work. It didn’t take long for him to feel the pressure build and the coiling tightness. He was afraid to look down. He wasn’t ready to come, he needed to be inside of her. Alastair reached for her shoulders and clenched his jaw as he raised his head. The sight of her lips stretched around his rigid length made the pleasure painful. He squeezed her arms and pushed her back. “Stand up.” He growled.

Giselle pouted as she looked up at him. He leaned forward as he helped her rise. When she was standing before him, Alastair attacked the falls of her breeches.
This is very strange from
this angle.
He thought as he flicked the buttons open. He quickly tugged them until they were around her knees, grabbed her hips and turned her away from him. He had to bite back a groan at the sight of her bare bottom.

“Sit down.” Alastair said as he gripped her waist. She looked back over her shoulder and he was nearly done in by the look she cast upon him. Her eyes were heavy and her lips curved as she licked them. Her hands locked around his wrists and she pressed her derriere back toward him and his mouth watered as he watched it lower. His eyes grew wide as he watched Giselle slowly impale herself on his straining cock. He waited until she could go no further and wrapped his hands around the firm globes of her bottom, supporting her. She wasn’t ready to take him all yet. Alastair helped her rise and she moaned in delight. “Lean forward.” He said through clenched teeth.

Once she had her weight over her knees, Giselle quickly found her own rhythm and started riding him. Alastair sat back and watched her bottom bouncing upon him and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He wrapped an arm around her waist, slowing her. He started pulling her down upon him as he thrust into her. Giselle whimpered as he stretched her and pressed deep. It took several moments before he sighed in relief as she sat fully upon him.

Alastair pulled her back so that her head rested against his shoulder. He filled his hands with her breasts and she gasped when he rolled her nipples between his fingertips as he started to rock and thrust his hips faster. He set his lips to her neck and laved as he stroked deep within her tight core. Giselle’s moans became louder and longer and Alastair felt her wet heat bathing his balls. He let his hand slide down her stomach and pressed into her curls.

“Yes! Touch me!” She begged. Alastair reached between her thighs and his fingers parted her delicate flesh. He felt where his cock entered her and his balls tightened. He set his fingers to the tender nub of flesh and started massaging it and Giselle let out a little cry. He continued to undulate beneath her as his fingers worked at her breast and between her thighs. Giselle’s head lulled and she moaned incoherently as she panted his name.

Alastair savored the sounds she made, they soothed his worries and made him hopeful.
She can’t turn away from this.
He assured himself. Her body started to become rigid against him and her breathing became erratic. He increased the pressure of his fingers as he thrust even faster. Giselle became frantic. Her hands locked around his wrists and her head thrashed from side to side. She hauled in a breath as she arched and Alastair covered her mouth just before she screamed. Her body started to shake and she squeezed him mercilessly. He bit down on her shoulder as heat rolled through his body and his nerves contracted before they exploded. He felt his balls squeeze and the pressure rush through his cock as heat burst from the head and stream after stream of his release filled Giselle. She screamed against his hand and Alastair pressed his lips to her ear.

“Sshh. You’ll give Briarly an apoplexy.” He whispered. She moaned and licked his hand as she went limp against him. He shuddered as the last of his climax shook him and he rested his head against her shoulder. As soon as his heart returned to its normal cadence, Alastair lifted Giselle and groaned as he slid from her. He pulled her breeches up and helped her stand. Once she was steady on her feet he stood behind her and settled himself in his trousers and buttoned them. “Time for bed.”

He bent and swung her into his arm. She giggled and looked up at him as she wound her arms around his neck. Alastair felt his chest tighten as he looked down at her. The house could burn around him and he could lose everything, the only thing he needed was in his arms. He watched as her eyes darted around, curiously absorbing the house as they moved through it. Every time they passed a door she would ask “What’s in that room?” and she would seem disappointed when it was just a parlor or a bedroom.

“What exactly were you expecting to find here?” Alastair asked as he set her on her feet in his room and shut the door. She shrugged as she turned and looked about. “I don't know. I just didn’t expect everything to be so typical.” Giselle opened the door to his dressing room and peeked inside. He smiled as he leaned against the mantle.

“I had considered a laboratory and a menagerie but I decided there wasn’t adequate space.” He said and she had to check to see if he was serious. He smiled and winked. “Everyone thinks they’ll use a laboratory but once they have one…” Giselle laughed as she sat on the bed. She frowned as she sniffed.

“I don’t smell you at all in here.” She mumbled as she leaned back on her hands. Alastair held his hands up as he pushed away from the fire place and approached the bed.

“I don’t spend much time in here.” He said as he raised her foot and pulled her boot off. Giselle’s brows pulled together.

“What about when you sleep? Do you have a bed somewhere else?” She switched her feet so he could remove her other boot. Alastair shook his head.

“I don’t have much use for a bed, when it’s just me.” He grinned at her and her lips twisted.

“But you do sleep, when it’s just you, don’t you?” She asked. Alastair shrugged. Her head pulled back. “What do you do all night?”

“If I’m not working on something, I read or study mathematics. Or I just think.” He pulled her up so he could pull her blouse and chemise over her head. Giselle grabbed his lapels and looked up at him.

“Everyone sleeps. You have to sleep.” She insisted. Alastair pressed a kiss to her lips before he pushed her back on the bed.

“I sleep.” He pulled her breeches and stockings off. He picked up her chemise and blouse and started folding. “What is your preoccupation with me and sleeping?” He asked as he shrugged off his coat. She stretched across the bed and yawned as she pulled a pillow under her head.

“Aside from when you were drunk, I’ve only seen you sleep one other night.” She watched drowsily as he removed his waistcoat, hung it and sat to remove his shoes and stockings.

“I will sleep for an hour or two most nights. I just do it in my chair in the library or at my desk. I have periods where I don’t sleep for as much as a week I and will retire to my bed for a night when it’s over.” Alastair crawled onto the bed and settled behind her. She purred as she pulled his arm tight around her. He felt her tense.

“Is it to do with the nightmares you had as a child?” Giselle asked carefully. He smiled softly as he pressed his lips to her neck and inhaled her scent. If his room smelled like her, he would spend his nights there.

“No. I haven’t had the nightmares for many years. I just have a hard time falling asleep. My mind stays too active, it keeps me awake.” He didn’t feel tired at the moment but he felt calm. “I enjoy my nights a great deal more with you, my love.” He whispered. Giselle sighed.

“Me too.” Her voice drifted off and her body relaxed.