Claimed by the Order (S-Gods, #1) (12 page)

“Lay right here,” she said smiling and patted the bed beside her. A lump formed in his throat as he fought to hold back tears. A desire to flee took hold of him, but there was nothing he could do. Marduk crawled into place as she instructed, burying his face in the bedding. His chest constricted, and his heart beat loudly in his ears until he felt Ra climb onto the bed behind him. He tried to brace himself for what was coming, but when Ra pulled his ass up and slammed into him, Marduk’s devastation was complete. All his hopes for freedom seemed to wash away, and once again he wished to expire from the world.

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T
he next day, Marduk locked himself in his room, skipping all of his classes and refusing to answer when Shamash came looking for him. Though he was sure Shamash could have broken his door down, Shamash gave up and let him be. Marduk lay curled on his bed for most of the day. He had come to the realization that all his aspirations to expose the Order would amount to nothing. If Ra was a member of the Order, it was likely the whole council was corrupt, and there was no one in the world he could go to. His only way out would be to give them what they wanted.

Marduk remained locked in his room for two more days. If Shamash let him stay there that long, he was going to stay in his bed until Shamash dragged him out of it. There was no way he could pretend to show Shamash affection after this.

On the second night, Marduk heard a knock at his door. When he made no attempt to answer, a soft voice came from outside his room.

“Marduk, are you in there?” It was Shala. It had been so long since he’d spoken with his goddess friends. Without thinking, Marduk crossed the room and opened the door. Nanya and Shala greeted him with smiles and hugged him before sauntering into the room. Marduk stood in the doorway staring at them, wondering why he had let them in. Then he turned and barred the door.

“Where have you been, Marduk?” Shala asked in a scolding voice. “You’ve been so distant lately. We were worried when we didn’t see you in class.”

Marduk turned to face her, but his voice caught in his throat. Just then Nanya threw herself on his bed.

“We’ve missed you, Marduk. You never visit us anymore.” Nanya smiled.

“Nanya, I ... I don’t feel well. I’m not in the mood for anything.”

“Don’t worry, darling,” Shala said, placing a hand on his arm. “Do you think we just want you for sex? You’re our friend. Come sit with us, and tell us what’s going on.”

Taking a deep breath, Marduk returned to his bed and sat down on the side while Shala stretched out next to Nanya.

“So, Marduk.” Shala said, running a hand down his back. “Are you going to tell us what’s going on? Are you still upset about Aya?”

Marduk took a deep breath, and stared at his hands in his lap. There was nothing he could say to them without lying.

“You know you can talk to us.” Shala continued. “After the thing with Seth, you were so withdrawn, and then you hooked up with your cute little god friends who won’t let us go anywhere near you.”

“We’re not jealous Marduk,” Nanya said. “Well, I guess we are a little jealous, but mostly we just miss you.”

Marduk stared at the closed shutters of his balcony and breathed deeply. He wished he could tell them something. He wished he could tell them everything. After a while, the room went silent.

“Just come lay with us, Marduk,” Shala finally said.

Marduk broke from his daze and crawled under the covers between them. Before long, both goddesses had cuddled against him and fallen asleep. He realized in that moment that they were his only true friends. If he ever confided in them, telling them all that he suffered, they would support him completely, but telling them about the Order would put them in danger. The next morning Nanya and Shala left for class, and though they urged him to go with them, Marduk remained in his room.

Shortly after they left, another knock came to his door. Marduk waited in silence, worried it was Shamash, when a voice came through.

“Marduk, it’s us. Are you in there?” Marduk recognized Ninurta’s voice on the other side of the door and rose to let them in.

“What’s going on?” Emesh asked, walking in with Ninurta, and Irra. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you.”

Marduk locked the door behind them and returned to his bed, followed by the gods. He sat in silence, not knowing what to say. They were all members. He could never tell them about his foiled plot to expose the Order, and he wouldn’t dare repeat what happened with Ra.

“Has anyone ever escaped from the Order?” he finally asked.

“Marduk, please don’t ever think about that!” said Emesh. “There’s only one god who ever tried running, and the Order punished him by chaining him naked to a mountain top for eternity. The buzzards and birds of prey tear away his genitals by day, and when his parts grow back over night, the birds tear it away the next day. They accused him of some slight against the gods, but the truth was he tried to escape from the Order.”

“I hate to say this, Marduk,” said Ninurta, “but the only way out is to give them what they want. No one likes betraying another god, but we all had to do it. I know you hate Aya for what he did, but eventually you’ll forgive him.”

“I don’t know,” Marduk said.

“You know,” said Irra, wrapping his arms around Marduk. “Emesh pledged me, but I no longer hold a grudge. You can’t be their pet forever. If you find a virgin god, don’t hesitate to give him up for your freedom. You’ll feel like shit for doing it, but you’ll recover.”

“I agree with Irra,” said Ninurta. “It’s the only way out.”

After they left, Marduk ventured out of his room. He still wasn’t ready to return to his classes, and he had no desire to see Shamash or Isis, but he wanted to get some fresh air. He emerged from the temple, stepping into the sunlight, and strolled through the gardens. He knew what they’d said was true—the only way out was to give the Order what they wanted.

Was he a fool to think he could go against the Order? Were his ideals too high? Marduk started to think about Aya and how he had endured the Order’s torture for three long years. Maybe Aya was like him in the beginning, refusing to betray another god. It made sense that Aya finally broke. Was he being too hard on Aya for what he’d done?

After a while, Marduk sank into the grass and gazed out at the mountains. Marduk had only been the Order’s pet for a month, and he was already considering giving in, yet Aya had lasted three years... Was he actually considering bringing them a virgin? His chest felt hollow. Would he be able to live with himself if he did this to someone else?

Right at that moment, Marduk caught movement in the corner of his eye. In the distance, three goddesses were running through the gardens with who appeared to be the beautiful god he had seen in the council lounge. Marduk’s heart skipped. It was Anu. Marduk suddenly had the desire to go snatch him away from the goddesses. He knew he could do it. He could seduce the beautiful god and make him his. Then Marduk stopped his train of thought, wondering why he was dreaming about Anu. He already had three lovers. Wasn’t that enough? Was he thinking about this god because he was likely a virgin? His stomach twisted.

He rose to his feet, turned away from Anu and the goddesses, and walked further into the gardens. He desired Anu, but he knew he should stay away. He couldn’t possibly have such thoughts. He was stronger than that, wasn’t he?

S
ince his arrival at the temple, Akad had experienced freedom like he’d never known before. He spent his days lounging in the temple gardens among beautiful young goddesses. His three avid admirers were all very open about their love for him, but his dreams were focused on Siren. Though he was mostly uncooperative, his goddess lovers never tired of pursuing him. Day after day, they lay together in the gardens shaded by the vine-thatched roof above. He allowed them to touch him and kiss him as they lay in the grass, but when soft lips touched his, he thought of Siren, and the illusion was never strong enough to go further.

One day, Akad and his goddesses were running through the gardens, chasing each other until they fell exhausted in the grass near a bed of flowers. After laughing and stripping away their clothing, the goddesses took him down. They kissed and touched him in ways that drove him mad, but he fought his desire to take hold of them, and by the time they gave up, he was exhausted. The goddesses collapsed naked in the grass around him with their arms draped over his body. Akad’s gaze drifted to a small stream of sunlight breaking through the thatch of vines above, casting a speckled pattern over the bed of blue flowers to his side. His body felt relaxed, but his head was spinning. Akad wondered why he felt so cold and detached every time a goddess tried to kiss him. Was he afraid of loving another? Did he fear his heart would be crushed just like it had been when he loved Talos?

Akad’s thoughts drifted back to the day of his first kiss. It was only a few years back that he had first noticed Talos on the crew of his father’s ship. Akad and Talos were roughly the same age, but there was something about Talos that drew him in. Every time Akad saw him, his heartbeat quickened. Though they rarely spoke, Talos swiftly became his secret desire. Akad dreamed of running his fingers through his long, fair hair and pulling his lean, solid body against his own. He’d had yet to kiss or touch another being, but their mutual attraction ignited his imagination.

One day Akad left the helm, searching for shelter from the blazing Egyptian sun. While strolling along the edge of the ship, Akad spotted Talos alone, securing provisions on the bow. Akad froze, unable to move or breathe while he watched Talos tighten a knot in a long rope. His heart seized in his chest, and something inside him clicked, propelling him forward.

Akad walked up to Talos, pulling him away from his work, and Talos turned with a sharp intake of breath as Akad pressed his body against his and ran his fingers through the curls of his fair hair. Talos blushed under his attention, but Akad had no fear. He kissed Talos lightly, the mortal’s salty taste shocking and invigorating him. Then he deepened their embrace, kissing Talos with increasing passion until he melted into his arms. In that moment, Akad’s entire world transformed. His desires came alive, flourishing with every beat of his heart, and he felt like he would never be the same.

He wanted this ecstasy for all time. He wanted the mortal’s hard body melting into his, the taste of his hot lips arousing every fiber of his being. He longed to consume the boy completely, but a dark cloud had descended upon him, casting a shadow over them both. A hand grabbed hold of Akad’s hair, yanking him back and ripping him out of the boy’s embrace.

Akad stumbled backward on the deck and fell onto his butt. His mind reeled, but he realized no one but his father would dare lay a hand on him. The warmth fled from his body, and a cold shiver ran under his skin. Akad beheld the fierce god Anshar looming over him. The sight of Anshar’s black beard and dark, piercing eyes sent a terrifying tremor through his body. Akad averted his eyes and rose to his feet before his father, trying to conceal his anger.

“Father,” he breathed. He could feel the rage burning in Anshar’s black eyes. Remembering how his father saw mortals, he wished that he had never approached Talos so brazenly. His gaze drifted to the beautiful boy who stood glued to the spot where he’d left him. Talos trembled as he stared at Anshar, his complexion ghostly white.

“Son, you are a god, and gods do not love mortals!” Anshar said. “Your only relationship with mortals is as their master. They must learn to fear you and obey your commands. If they disobey, you are obliged to strike terror in their hearts until they are god-fearing, as they should be!”

“Yes, father,” Akad said, lowering his head. It was far from his first time hearing Anshar speak about mortals in this manner. He wished he could abide by his father’s rules, but it was hard following his reasoning, especially when Akad found mortals so beautiful and appealing.

“I have the feeling you do not understand me in the least,” Anshar said. “Maybe you believe mortal men to be equal to gods ....”

Akad looked up at Anshar with no idea how to respond. He would never argue with his father, but he wanted to say something in his defense.

“Father, I—”

“No! Do not speak to me! Evidently, I have to show you why gods are superior to mortals. If you must see the proof of their inferiority before you respect my wishes, then that is what I will give you.”

Anshar regarded Talos and then looked back at Akad.

“You and the mortal boy will follow me to the helm.” He stormed toward the end of the ship where most of the men were gathered. At the navigation table, Anshar removed a clay map from its surface and stood waiting as Akad and Talos approached. Stopping next to his father, Akad forced himself to meet Anshar’s fierce gaze. He had an intense desire to steal a glance at Talos, but he didn’t dare.

“The first lesson you will learn is the true nature of mortals,” Anshar said, his dark eyes penetrating Akad.

“Mortals are like beasts, for they will betray and utterly destroy one another the moment they are given an opportunity to do so. They are driven by power and lust, caring for nothing but these two primal desires.”

Akad lowered his eyes and his stomach lurched. Anshar’s “lessons” always resulted in death and destruction. Anshar had sunk five ships in one lesson and in another he had flooded an entire coastline, killing thousands of civilians. Akad couldn’t bear to imagine how his father planned on proving his point. Anshar stalked toward Talos, grabbed the boy’s arm, and pulled him up to the table. Akad’s stomach twisted painfully. Talos stood trembling across the table from him.

“Captain, post!” Anshar commanded. His dark-haired captain stepped forward, awaiting his orders. “I give you and your men this boy. Do with him what you please, but I insist that you do what you will right here and now.”

Then Anshar pushed Talos up against the table, pressing the boy’s hands to the table top. Dread wrenched his stomach, and his head spun. He stared at his quaking friend and was sure he was going to be sick. Talos clung to the table top, refusing to meet Akad’s gaze. Laughter rang out from the men around them, but Akad was frozen, unable to move or breathe. He wanted to protest, but rebelling against his father would only bring further calamity. He saw the captain approach Talos from behind, and when the man grabbed Talos, Akad gasped. Talos was like a waif in the shadow of the armor-clad man towering over him. The captain grabbed the boy’s hair, and shoved his face down on the table.