Class A (25 page)

‘You didn’t,’ James gasped.

‘When Mr Large turned around, I took this massive swing with it and whacked him behind the knees to knock him over. The first time only made him go wobbly. He started turning towards me and I was
 
so
 
scared. I thought he was gonna kill me, so I whacked him again. As he went down, he caught his head on a rock and got knocked out.’

James couldn’t help smiling. ‘You knocked out Mr Large! That’s pure class.’

‘It’s not funny, James,’ Lauren moped. ‘I’m probably gonna get expelled. I thought I’d killed him for a minute. There was all blood coming out of his head. I was so afraid, I ran out of the training compound and didn’t stop. I wanted to speak to you before anyone else, so I went to my room and phoned you. Zara said you were on campus, but I’m not allowed upstairs to mission preparation, so I waited for you in here.’

James pondered for a few moments.

‘First things first,’ he said. ‘You better wash up, then we’ll have to find Mac and sort this whole mess out.’

‘Do you think they’ll boot me out?’ Lauren asked.

‘I hope not,’ James shrugged. ‘But laying out a teacher … Let’s just say it’s not gonna go down too well.’

*

James found some of his smaller clothes for Lauren to wear after she got out of the shower. When they got down to the ground floor, Mac’s office was locked. They asked the receptionist on the front desk.

‘Mac usually heads home at about eight,’ he explained. ‘But one of the training instructors got injured and I think he’s still over at the medical unit. I can ring his mobile if it’s urgent.’

‘I think you’d better,’ James said.

The receptionist had a short conversation before putting down the receiver.

‘Mac’s coming over ASAP,’ the receptionist said. ‘I don’t know what you two have done, but judging by the tone of his voice, I wouldn’t want to switch shoes with you at the moment.’

A few minutes later, Mac rolled up the gravel driveway outside in one of the golf buggies the staff used to move around campus.

‘This way,’ he said stiffly, striding through reception.

He pulled a great bunch of keys out of his jacket and unlocked his door.

‘Sit at the desk.’

James nervously sank into one of the leather chairs at the big oak desk. Lauren looked ready to start crying again.

‘So, young lady,’ Mac snapped. ‘Would you be so kind as to tell me why my senior training instructor is lying in the medical unit with a serious concussion and eight stitches in the side of his head?’

‘I’m really, really sorry,’ Lauren grovelled. ‘He made me so mad. Poor Bethany could hardly stand up and Mr Large wouldn’t leave her alone.’

‘If Bethany was injured, she should have quit,’ Mac said. ‘It wasn’t your business to interfere.’

‘So what are you gonna do to her?’ James asked.

‘I don’t like expelling people,’ Mac said. ‘But if I don’t expel a cherub for a serious assault on a member of staff, then what exactly
 
do
 
you get expelled for?’

‘I know what Lauren did is wrong,’ James said. ‘But it’s not like she walked into a classroom and belted a teacher for no reason. She was knackered and she was watching one of her friends get tortured by a raving lunatic. Everyone wants to take a swing at Mr Large at some point during basic training. It’s just unlucky Lauren happened to have a spade nearby when the thought crossed her mind.’

‘Hmm,’ Mac said, covering a tiny smile with his fingers. ‘I suppose there’s an element of truth in that. If I did expel Lauren, though, we’d send her to a good school and set her up with a foster family near campus so that you could visit her at weekends.’

‘I don’t care if she only lives across the street,’ James said. ‘If she goes, I’m going with her. We were separated after our mum died and I don’t ever want that again.’

‘Recruiting cherubs is tricky,’ Mac said, ‘and I don’t want to lose either of you two. But if I allow Lauren to stay, she’ll have to accept a stiff punishment; otherwise, we’ll have every kid on campus taking pot shots at the training staff.’

‘Please let me stay,’ Lauren begged. ‘I’ll do whatever you want and I’ll be so good, I swear.’

‘James,’ Mac said. ‘Do you have any thoughts on how we should make Lauren suffer?’

James looked uneasily at his sister.

‘It’s obviously got to be the worst punishment going,’ he said. ‘And it’ll have to last the whole two and a bit months until she can restart basic training.’

‘Agreed,’ Mac nodded.

‘What about cleaning toilets and changing rooms?’ James said. ‘Everyone always says that’s really horrible.’

‘Not hard enough,’ Mac said, sweeping the idea away with his hand. ‘Kids get toilets and changing rooms for swearing or skipping lessons. It’s unpleasant, but all it boils down to is pushing a mop and squirting disinfectant.’

‘Worse than toilets, then,’ James said, trying to work out how Mac had twisted the situation around so that he was trying to think up some awful punishment for the person he was supposed to be helping out.

‘Well,’ Mac grinned. ‘It just so happens, I did have an idea. There’s a drainage problem in the wooded area on the far side of campus. The fields keep flooding because the ditches have gradually become blocked up with silt. I reckon someone Lauren’s size would take a couple of months to clean them all out. She’ll have to work hard, every day before and after school, plus all day on Saturdays and Sundays. How do you like the sound of that, Lauren?’

‘I’ve got to be punished,’ Lauren said, nodding meekly. ‘If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.’

‘Ditches it is,’ Mac said, clapping his hands together. ‘And I’ll be putting you on final warning, Lauren. That means if you do one more thing wrong, you’ll get kicked out. And I mean
 
every
 
tiny thing. Run in the corridor, you’re out. Miss a homework assignment, you’re out. Get to class late, you’re out. For the next three months, you’re walking on eggshells. Your behaviour must be immaculate. Is that understood?’

Lauren nodded.

‘And there’s one more condition,’ Mac said. ‘For you, James.’

‘For me?’ James gasped.

Mac nodded. ‘You’ve talked me into giving Lauren a final chance. In return, I want something from you. If Lauren breaches her final warning, I want you to promise that you’ll stay at CHERUB.’

James thought for a couple of seconds. ‘But you’ll put her with a family nearby so I can still see her when I’m not on missions?’

Mac nodded. ‘That seems reasonable.’

‘I suppose, then,’ James said.

It seemed pretty convenient, the way Mac had found the perfect punishment for Lauren. James suspected Mac had worked everything out in advance. The expulsion threat was a ploy to make him and Lauren squirm.

‘And of course, Lauren,’ Mac grinned, ‘once you’ve cleaned out those ditches and start your second attempt at basic training, I’m sure Mr Large will wreak his own special revenge.’

*

Lauren slept in James’ room. The bed was a double, but the two of them still cuddled up in the middle. Lauren woke early and didn’t seem too miserable, considering that the next five months of her life looked like being a living hell.

‘Have you got a diary?’ she asked.

‘It’s in my desk,’ James said, still buried under his duvet.

Lauren used the diary to work out that it was one hundred and seventy-four days until she finished her punishment and basic training. She took a sheet of paper and began writing the numbers from 174 down to zero in her neatest writing.

James poked his head out of his covers. ‘What are you doing, Lauren?’

‘Making a countdown chart. For the next hundred and seventy-four days, I’m not gonna whinge or cry about anything. I’ll take this piece of paper everywhere I go. However bad it gets, all I’m going to think about is how many hours it is until I can tick off the next number. In one hundred and seventy-four days I
 
will
 
pass basic training. I swear it, on our mum’s grave.’

James scrambled out of bed.

‘No way,’ he said angrily. ‘You can’t swear something like that on Mum’s grave. Some things are out of your control. What if you get injured, or sick?’

‘I won’t,’ Lauren said sternly. ‘If something hurts, I’ll close my eyes and think about the piece of paper in my pocket.’

‘It’s a good idea to focus your mind,’ James said, sliding his legs into a pair of tracksuit bottoms. ‘But try and be realistic. There are quite a few kids who’ve taken three or more attempts to get through basic training. You could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment.’

Lauren stood in front of James and barked an order. ‘Slap my face.’

‘Yeah, I’m really gonna hit you,’ James said, shaking his head with contempt.

‘I’ll show you I can take it,’ Lauren said. ‘As hard as you like.’

‘Give us a break, Lauren. You realise we could have lain in bed for at least another half hour?’

Lauren lunged forward, grabbed hold of James’ nipple and gave it a savage twist. James rolled backwards on to his bed, howling in pain.

‘What the
 
hell
 
did you do that for?’ he shouted.

‘Slap my damn face,’ Lauren shouted back.

‘You really want to see how tough you are?’ James raged. ‘Fine. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into you.’

There was a sharp
 
crack
 
as his hand hit her face. It was more painful than Lauren had expected, but she stifled her groan and toughed it out with a thin-lipped smile.

‘One hundred and seventy-four days,’ Lauren said. ‘Believe it.’

James grinned. ‘Will you be coming down to breakfast with me, or are you too tough for food as well?’

*

There were about sixty cherubs in the dining-hall when James and Lauren arrived. It took a couple of seconds for the room to go quiet, then chairs grated backwards and everyone stood up and started clapping and banging cutlery on the table. There were shouts of
 
Lauren
 
and whistles as well.

Shakeel was standing nearby; James looked over at him.

‘What’s this all about?’

‘Your sister,’ he said, as if James was some kind of idiot. ‘She’s the biggest hero in the history of CHERUB. Everyone dreams of getting revenge on Mr Large, but I never imagined any kid would really have the guts to do it.’

Kids piled in from all directions, until Lauren stood in an ocean of hugs and handshakes. A couple of stocky teenage boys hoisted Lauren off the ground, balanced her on their shoulders and took her on a victory parade around the dining-room. She had a mix of emotions on her face; happy, freaked out and afraid of getting her head smacked on a light fitting. As Lauren was galloped around the room, the kids at the dining tables were all pledging to help her dig.

‘Dig what?’ James asked.

‘We heard Lauren’s got to clean out the ditches at the back end of campus,’
Shakeel
explained. ‘Everyone is putting on their
wellies
and going up there Saturday morning to help her out. We reckon with a hundred or more kids on the job, we’ll get the whole lot cleared out in a day.’

‘Cool,’ James said. ‘That’s really great of everyone.’

‘It’s what she deserves,’
Shakeel
said. ‘I wish I’d belted Mr Large one. There’s a collection going around as well. Everyone’s putting money in and we’re gonna get her something from that shop in town that does trophies.’

Amy came up to James as Lauren was on her third circuit of the dining-room.

‘We had a whip round up on my floor,’ Amy said. ‘We got seventy quid. What’s Lauren’s favourite shop?’

‘She gets a lot of stuff from Gap Kids,’ James said. ‘Why?’

‘There’s already more than enough for the engraved tankard,’ Amy explained. ‘We were thinking of getting her some gift vouchers, or maybe a humongous teddy bear …’

26. SOCKS

‘You’re such a jammy little git,’ Kerry said. ‘You realise me and Kyle are stuck here on Thornton until this mission is finished?’

It was Friday night. They were in the boys’ bedroom and James was packing a hold-all for his flight to Miami in the morning.

‘That’s the wrong attitude,’ James said, grinning. ‘We’re all equally important members of a team. It’s just that my role is toasting on some beach in Florida, while you get to spend half-term here. If you’re lucky, someone might start a fire and you can watch one of the derelict houses burn out.’

‘You’re
 
such
 
a funny guy,’ Kerry sneered.

‘How many socks do you reckon?’ James asked.

‘At least one pair for each day.’

James looked in his underwear drawer and realised he only had two clean pairs. He started hunting around the floor and balling odd socks together.

‘Aren’t those dirty?’ Kerry asked.