Click Here (to find out how i survived seventh grade) (24 page)

“I’m sorry.” Rosie sat in the chair at my desk.

“Are you only here because I didn’t say anything mean about you on my website?”

Rosie laughed. “You did say I might be stuck up.”

“But then I said you weren’t.”

“True,” Rosie said. “But it doesn’t matter. I know I’m not.” She tugged on her braid. “Hmm, am I here because you didn’t slam me like everyone else? I honestly don’t know. I’d like to think I would be here even if you had said something mean about me, but I can’t say for sure.”

“At least you’re honest.”

Rosie smiled and sat down on the edge of my bed. “So, how are you doing?” She frowned. “I guess that’s a dumb question.” I tossed the covers off and stood up, rubbing my cast. “How could this happen?”

Rosie shook her head. “Like Ms. Moreno said, there was a big mixup. We didn’t even get to do anything with your disc last night because everything went wacko. Ms. Moreno had to deal with a server problem and then Tyler forgot to tell Mr. Arnett because he helped Eric format his last page and then things got really crazy.

“Then this morning, the group that Serena is in lost one of their graphic files and we were all trying to find something else to use. And then Mark’s column disappeared, then suddenly reappeared, and then Steve had gotten funny and added things like ‘Janitorial Makeout’ to the event listings, so we had to go through all of those and take out the joke ones.”

Rosie looked at me. “Once all those things were solved, we just published it. I voted to wait for you, but most people wanted to go for it, so we did.” She sighed. “We tried to call first thing, before …”

“I know.”

Rosie threw her arm over the back of the chair. “We heard about it about ten after nine and Ms. Moreno shut the whole Intranet down, but not before someone had printed out your stuff and passed it around.”

I collapsed on the floor, putting my head in the hand without the cast. “It’s a nightmare. It’s worse, way worse, than the PI.”

“PI?” Rosie asked.

“The Puppet Incident.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Rosie had never said anything about that, and I was grateful to her.

“You think it’s worse, too, don’t you?”

“Well, a lot more people are involved, that’s for sure,” Rosie said.

“Jilly thinks I did it on purpose. To get back at her.”

Rosie snorted. “That’s crazy.” She leaned toward me, touching my arm. “Erin, if I was working until midnight three nights in a row, I might accidentally switch some discs, too.” She flopped down on the floor next to me. “She’s just thinking about herself.”

I glanced at Rosie. “She’s not always like that, you know.”

“I know,” Rosie said. “You wouldn’t be friends with her if she was.” I sighed. “I’m not friends with her right now.”

“You will be,” Rosie said. “Don’t worry.” She picked up my cast. “Looks a little bare, doesn’t it?” She signed it: “To the best corny friend in the world.”

I laughed but stopped because it felt strange, then laughed again. We sat in silence for a few moments, giggling every few seconds before sighing.

There was a knock at my door.

“Yeah?”

Mom poked her head in. “Do you girls want anything? Lemonade? Popcorn?”

“Yeah,” we both said together. And laughed again.

Mom smiled. “Lemonade and popcorn coming up.”

I glanced at Rosie. “You know she feels bad if she’s letting me eat in my room.”

We smiled at each other and then I frowned, leaning back against the bed.

“Did Mark read all the stuff I said about him?”

Rosie nodded. “Well, kind of. He read some, but he was so embarrassed he stopped reading. But other people told him about it.”

“I’m SO embarrassed. Is he, like, freaking out about it? Is he totally mad at me?”

Rosie shook her head. “No. Just really embarrassed. Everyone’s calling him Cute Boy. And I mean
everyone.
”

“It’s better than Puppet Girl or Pinocchio.” I flopped down on my bed. “That’s probably why he didn’t call.”

“Pretty much,” Rosie said.

“And I know Tyler and Serena are mad.”

“She cried.”

I sat up. “What?”

“At first she was furious, and then when everyone started saying stuff to her about the Hate-o-Rama, she ran into the bathroom and started crying. Her mascara was running and everything.”

I shook my head. I had made Serena Poopendena cry. After all these years of torture and torment, I, Erin Penelope Swift, had reduced her to tears.

I felt like the biggest loser in the world.

chapter 24

The Gates of Heck

I was walking on death row. ETM&D (Evil Torture Mom and Dad) had refused my request to transfer to another school, even when I offered to eat all of my veggies, clean my room without being told, clean ALL the bathrooms including the toilets, and never ask for another thing as long as I lived.

“You need to go back,” my dad said. I needed to shrivel up and disappear, but that didn’t seem to be happening either. Mom had offered to take me to school so I wouldn’t have to ride on the bus, but I said no. Her lame attempt at charity came too little, too late. Besides, if I had to go, I was going to do it full force. If she drove me it would look like I couldn’t handle it, like I was avoiding everyone, especially Jilly. No, I would face it head-on. Right away.

I dragged my feet toward the bus stop, my arms wrapped around me to keep warm in the chilly November air. I wondered if there was any possibility that a four-day break and too much turkey and stuffing would make people forget. Or maybe a couple would be caught making out in Puppet Porter’s office or something.

Dream on, Erin.

When I turned onto the street where the bus picked up, I saw Jilly coming from her street. My heart raced, flipped, twisted, practically choking me. In twenty more steps we would be only a few feet away from each other.

“Jilly.” I said it quietly, even though no one else was there yet.

Jilly stood with her gloved hands clasped together in front of her, looking down the street. I could see how tight her jaw was, her teeth clenched so she had a bulge near the back of her cheek. She didn’t seem to notice that I now wore a cast because I’d nearly broken abone.

“Um, Jilly?”

“God,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “When is this bus going to come?”

“I really need to talk to you.” My voice was so small, I wasn’t sure I’d spoken at all. But I knew I had when Jilly whirled to face me.

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough? Don’t you think you’ve hurt enough people by talking?”

“It was private!” I protested. “No one was supposed to see it. And I don’t —”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t want anyone to see it! You said you hated me. Hated me, Erin! And you think I’m selfish and stuck up and a big baby. You wanted to strangle me, then decided to just put a muzzle on me.” Her eyes blazed as she stepped toward me. “You said I had small boobs. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? Can you imagine how many people were looking at my chest all day long? Do you know how many Mounds bars I got last Wednesday? The vending machine ran out of them.” Her voice was high and I knew she was trying not to cry. “I thought you were my friend, Erin. But you’re just a big fat hypocrite!” She stomped a few feet away from me, but I saw tears spring to her eyes.

“I also said you were my best friend and I couldn’t believe you wanted me for a friend. And you made me pick between the two of you. What was that about?”

“We’re not talking about that right now, Erin. We’re talking about you writing mean and hateful things for the entire school to see.”

My breath was coming fast, my heart pounding. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean —”

“Hey! There she is!” Two eighth-grade boys sauntered up, one of them pointing at me. “You’re the one who wrote all the stuff on the website,” he said, then shook his hips. “Am I a hot tamale?” He made kissing noises, then turned to his friend. “Got a pillow? I want to make out.” They both cracked up, leaning against each other for support.

My whole body tensed and I bit my lip to keep from crying.

The other one came over and put his face close to mine. “Where’s Cute Boy? Has he declared his undying love?” He raised his arm. “Will you sniff under my arms to check for BO?” Then he turned to Jilly. “And isn’t this your best friend that you HATE?”

Jilly’s back stiffened.

“Shut up!” I shouted. “Just SHUT UP!”

I took off running down the block just as the bus turned the corner and headed for our stop. I didn’t stop running until I was four blocks away, had turned three more corners, and was standing safely in front of the RV parked on the side of our neighbor’s house. They usually drove it down to Texas at this time of the year, but something had come up so they were staying home. I bent down and felt under the rim of the motor home until my fingers located the hide-a-key. I’d seen them get the key out several times when they would get the RV ready for a trip. I looked all around before slipping inside, closing the door behind me.

The RV was cold and quiet. In front of me was the kitchen, a small square of tile with a sink, a stove, and about a foot of counter space. To my right, behind the driver and passenger seats, was a table tucked between two cushioned benches, like a booth in a restaurant. Across from it stood a couch. Above the cab was a bed. To my left was the bathroom and a bedroom, just a mattress and two pillows, without any bedding.

I wrapped my arms around me, shivering on a small rug. DEFCON 0. Even Chris didn’t know about this and it was the first time I’d used it. I pulled off my backpack and slid into the booth, resting my hands on the table. I hadn’t planned for this. I had no food, except one emergency Snickers and an old Tootsie Pop I’d started carrying around since my conversation with Mr. Foslowski. I had no books. No games. No paper. Nothing to do.

After what seemed like years, I stood up and crept to the window that faced our house. I was just feet away from where I had started this morning and yet it felt like miles. I knew my mom was inside our warm house, working on her latest client’s website down in her basement office. Hmm. Maybe I could sneak in and get some books and some food. Warm up a little. No. Too risky. She was always popping upstairs, especially if a client called. She used that time to tidy up while she talked.

I let the curtain drop and turned around. I’d just have to stay here until 3:45, when I could safely walk in the door and tell her how I’d survived the whole BN (Blog Nightmare).

Sighing, I rummaged through the cupboards, looking for something to eat or read. I found a mystery novel under the front passenger seat and a box of crackers in the cupboard near the sink. Two blankets were stashed in a drawer under the bed and I pulled them out, wrapping them around me as I settled back into the booth.

At 8:35 by the dashboard clock, I heard our garage door go up. I ran to the window and peeked through the curtains as our car backed quickly down the driveway. Mom put the car into drive and sped down the street. Gee, she was in a hurry. But what a lucky break. After watching the car turn at the end of the block, I ran out of the RV and got a bunch of supplies from the house and used the bathroom. Then I ran back. Who knew where Mom had gone or when she’d be back?

It took me four hours to read two hundred pages and devour the box of crackers. A quick check of the dashboard clock told me it was noon. Three hours and forty-five minutes to go. And I mean GO. I needed to pee again. I wondered if it was okay to use the bathroom in the RV. I decided I’d better hold it. I could do it. Didn’t I go all night without peeing?

Sleep. That would get my mind off my bladder. I grabbed the blankets and climbed up on the mattress at the back of the RV.

When I woke up, I hurried to check the time. Three thirty-nine! Wow. I’d done it. I was cold and stiff but I’d made it through my first day back at school without going back to school.

I quickly put everything back the way it had been, including the empty box of crackers. Then I grabbed my backpack and the key and hustled out the door.

Both of my parents were pacing around the living room when I came in. They turned to look at me at the same time, their faces registering relief and anger.

“Where have you been?” My dad strode over and grabbed me by the shoulders.

“I —”

“The school called first thing this morning, wondering why we hadn’t called in your absence,” my mom said. “Your dad and I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“You weren’t at the tree house,” Chris said. “Or anywhere else that I knew to look.”

It was Chris’s face that did me in, scared and a little lost. I burst into tears and threw myself into my dad’s arms, sobbing out everything that had happened at the bus stop. “I couldn’t go to school,” I gasped between sniffles and sobs. “I just couldn’t. There were only three people at the bus stop and they all hated me. I couldn’t face an entire school.”

“Shh, shh,” my dad said, stroking my head. “It’s going to be okay.” Chris walked over and dropped a hand on my shoulder. “I got a copy of the Intranet thing and read it,” he said. “You know way more pain than I ever will.”

Well, of course it was circulating around the high school. My misery knew no end.