Close Your Eyes (7 page)

What
have I
done?
Have
I
just destroy
ed
the one and only relationship
I
truly care about?
She and Ryan
had been good friends as children and much more than that
as teenagers
.
Meg remembered the way her heart would constrict almost painfully each time they were together, the sweetness of the first young love sending her spirit soaring. Yet, with some untold instinct she sensed that trying to declare it and push
Ry
to answer in style wouldn’t really work. He cared for her, of course. They dated rather innocently, Matt’s presence making their relationship even better. It seemed natural that he joined them more than once in their outings and adventures, his sense of humor and exuberance bringing out the lighter side of
Ry’s
more serious nature.
At the
time, Meg didn’t really spend too much time thinking about the fact that she was rarely invited to
Ry’s
family home. It went without saying that the Harpers were very private. As long as she was with
Ry
, she didn’t really care.

Things seemed to
cool
off a bit when they went to university
;
studying in different cities putting a damper on their very
young
relationship. They
had slowly
drifted apart. But then,
during
her last year in London, Ry
an
returned
from his two years abroad,
and
their reunion
made
up for all the time lost. They started going out again, cautious
ly
at first and purely on
a
friendly basis. By the end of her last semester
,
things
had
progressed,
and
their love blossom
ed
with renewed strength
, o
r so she
had
thought.
True, Ryan was still rather busy with his postgraduate program and they couldn’t see each other as often as she would have wished for, but it didn’t really matter. The future was bright and full of promises, each new day filling her with joy. Until now…

Megan decided not to drive home right away, because she dreaded her mom’s questioning.

That’s what
happens when you live
with parents
,
she reminded herself
sulkily
.
Since
her parents’
large, elegant home
was
only steps away from her florist’s shop
, living with her parents made perfect sense.
H
er mom’s cajoling that she could stay with them while setting up her business
was
very
persuasive
.
When she
returned from university,
Megan’s
search for a flat in town
turned out to be
slow and unsuccessful
. If she were completely honest with herself, she knew the true reason for
her lack of property-hunting
progress.

Deep down, under all those
layers of indifference
,
she
hid her hope
that Ry
an
would
ask her to move in with him. They had been
seeing each other more and more often,
and
their
relationship
was
evolving into something definitely more special
. They
had been
on many
dates, each making her more and more certain that her first impression
,
over twenty years ago
,
was correct
.
She still had a very soft spot for Ryan
Harper
, however unattainable he seemed.

She got up on stiff legs
.
Ry
an
’s wad of
money left on the table
was
more than enough to cover their rather short meal. She could tell the waiter was watching her from afar, unsure what to do after the spectacle he
had
witnessed only moments before. She walked by, smiling at him lightly and nodding, his
obvious
relief
tempting her to
laugh hysterically
.

Her smile vanished once she got outside
. T
he lead
-
colored clouds of the late November sky match
ed
her mood. A cold wind blew from the
e
ast, icy fingers probing under her clothes and making her
shiver. She should have been smart and turn
ed
around to her car, parked safely in the restaurant’s parking lot.

She wasn’t very smart, apparently.
She turned towards the
trail leading into the local moor, the vast sea of tall grasses, dwarf trees
,
and pools of water
that attracted
birders who enjoyed watching
the moor’s
spectacular wildlife.
Visitors
came in buses, armed with cameras and binoculars, excited and eager to discover yet another species from their birding books.

There weren’t any
birders
now
,
though. It was November, dark and rainy. Even though
she
had met
Ryan
for lunch, the day already looked like evening, the approaching rain visible in the distance over the water.
The trail started just behind the restaurant, the gravel path
quickly
turning into a wooden walkway
above
silent pools of clear water with brownish bottom
s
. Bulrushes waved in the rising wind, tall, pale yellow stalks moving eerily above her head. She didn’t
really
see them. She was alone, free to finally cry and
sob
as she couldn’t back at the restaurant. She walked on, tears blinding her until she blinked
and wiped
away the salty moisture
with
her
cold fingers
.
She looked around, wondering where she was.

The moor split into many parts, some of them delving deeper into the water while others skimmed the outer boundary
where
a hedge separat
ed
the end of the trail from the large open field of the
Harper
s
’
grounds. In the distance
,
she could just make out the buildings of the stables and the large barn, barely visible in the rain that came down in steady sheaths of icy water.

And that was when she heard it, the unmistakable sound of horse’s hooves,
coming
closer
to her miserable, frozen frame. A shape appeared behind the low hedge
.
She blinked, trying to see cleared, both her tears and the fog hanging over the moor making it difficult to see
who
it was. And then she saw them approach nearer. The
rider and the horse
were
wet and glistening.

‘
Meg
an
? Is that you?’ an incredulous voice asked
. Megan
looked up, blinking again
.

Matt
gazed
at her, his
expression
surprised and worried. His horse, a large
,
beautiful Hanoverian
,
stood
with
its
long chestnut legs still.
It
seemed perfectly attuned to
its
rider, and
Megan
absentmindedly
remembered
what
an
excellent rider
Matt
was. He
had inherited
his family’s love of
horses, just as Ry
an
had
.

T
he only time she had seen their grandfather really smile was when he
had ridden
his favorite horse at one of the
town
events
.
Breeding horses was more than a hobby for him
,
and he was actively involved in
the
local horse
shows and races.
He might
be
older now, but
Mr. Harper
still cut a smashing figure on his coal
-
black stallion.

‘
Meg
an
, are you
okay
?’
Matt
asked, jumping of
f
his horse in one graceful motion.
He was very tall
,
she thought absentmindedly
. T
he days of the skinny, freckly boy who raised hell in school
were
well in the past. Broad shouldered and long legged, he reminded her of his horse,
and
the impossible comparison
made
her smile weakly.