Closed Off To You (Singing Star Trilogy #1) (15 page)

“Well, I know I’m a bit younger than you,” Nathan said, winking. “But I loved The Goonies. I wanted to be a treasure hunter. I wanted to find a treasure boat. What about you?”

The waitress came over and took our drink order. I ordered something for Ella and Lizzie, knowing exactly what they would want.

“This sounds so cliché, but that was my favourite childhood film, too. I can’t believe you know it. You’re five years younger than me.”

Nathan’s smile was wiped away when the waitress came back over and stroked his shoulder. She was younger, about his age. Her blonde hair waved around her head and fell forward as she leant down and whispered in his ear.

“Thanks, but I’m…” Nathan gestured towards me.

The woman didn’t even blush as she shrugged and went back to her job.

“Did she just come onto you?” I asked, my heart thudding against my ribcage.

Nathan shrugged one shoulder as he took a sip of tea. “What can I say?”

My foot pulled back and thrust forward into his shin. It was a complete reaction. I didn’t mean to do it.

His face screwed up as he leant down and rubbed the spot where my trainer had ploughed into his skin.

“What was that for?”

I glanced over at the girl who watched us. She had a smirky grin on her face, knowing that she had caused friction between us. Not that there should be friction between us.

“Sorry, I thought there was a fly on your leg,” I murmured.

His scoff of disbelief made me laugh. The smile gracing his face made me sit back in my seat. Why had I kicked him? What had caused me to react like such an immature teenager?

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

His question hit the mark. He was a good looking man. And I couldn’t have him in the way I wanted. That was all it was. What you can’t have, you want more.

“Of course not. Why would I be jealous?”

You know when you hear yourself talk and instantly regret the whining in your voice? I had reverted back to my pubescent emotions. If I wasn’t careful, I would start to sulk, and refuse to talk to him.

“Don’t be jealous. I’m really not worth that. Anyway, where were we? What about your favourite music? What do you like to listen to?”

Nathan stopped rubbing the sore spot on his leg and looked me straight in the eye. I blinked, looking down at the table.

“I like all sorts of music.”

His hand slunk across the table, flat against the wood, and directly into my eye line. “Everyone says that. I know it’s not true. What song makes you want to dance? You know what I mean by dance.”

He couldn’t keep it simple, could he? He had to delve. Just a little bit.

“Latin music. I like to get up and strip when Latin music comes on. I almost had a pole installed into my house so I could learn how to do exotic dancing.”

My eyes finally met his when he didn’t reply instantly. The sexy grin was back on his face, along with the dimple. I stopped myself from reaching forward and dipping my finger into the small crease in his cheek.

An image of us grinding in the Salsa club came into mind. It was a good memory. One that made me cross my legs.

Ella and Lizzie shoved their way back into the cafe and joined us. Nathan didn’t take his gaze away from me as they settled down.

“What have you been talking about?” Lizzie asked.

“We’re talking about our favourite music. Songs we like to dance to,” I replied, not looking away from Nathan.

He quickly shook his head and took his attention away from me. It was a nice feeling to render him speechless. Probably wondering if I was telling the truth. Which I was.

“I love chart music at the moment. Some really good dance tunes. You’re never too old for clubby music.”

Ella obviously disagreed because she snorted loudly. “Don’t be absurd. Clubbing music is so boring.”

My stomach jumped when something touched my leg under the table. Nathan’s foot snaked around the bottom of my ankle. He was getting me back for shocking him with my dancing confession.

“What music do you love? Don’t answer that. I already know. You love classical.” Lizzie gestured all over the place.

There was something in the way my friends spoke to each other that made me question their maturity. I had never noticed how young they sounded before.

I tried to keep my focus on my friends as Nathan’s foot rubbed up and down my leg. The leggings I wore were thin, allowing his foot to have close contact to my skin. He’d even kicked off his shoe to wind me up.

“There’s nothing wrong with classical. That isn’t my favourite, I don’t know why you always say that. I may be uncool, but I don’t care.” Ella slammed her hand on the table, making us jump.

Nathan shook his head as his eyes darted between the three of us. He was doing a good job of pretending that he wasn’t rubbing his sock clad foot up and down my leg. I thought women were the ones that instigated footsie under the table. Not men in their mid-twenties.

“What about you, Nathan?” Ella asked the only man at the table.

“I love rock music. Not the really heavy stuff, the stuff that means something.”

Nathan didn’t strike me as a rocker. Since hearing Martin scream at the karaoke in my flat, I had assumed he was the only one out of the group that liked that sort of music. I didn’t confess that rock had been my favourite when I was younger.

“What type of bands? Melissa used to be into the American bands,” Lizzie said, yelping in excitement when a thick chocolate milkshake was put in front of her. There was nothing like feeding your inner child. Literally.

“Did you?” Nathan asked me directly. “Which ones?”

Instead of answering him, I got out my phone and plugged in the earphones. Giving it to him, I pressed random and let him know exactly what type of music I liked.

“If you can guess the artist of this song, I’ll…”

My mind went blank. What could I do for him if he guessed correctly? Naughty thoughts swung into my brain as everyone stared at me. Lizzie and Ella knew exactly what would be churning in my little mind. They called me the pervert of the group.

“So, you’ll do something if I guess the song correctly? I need to know what I get if I win,” he said.

The others watched us like hawks. Their gaze darted between us both, weighing up the tension that settled over us. Nathan’s foot still stroked over my ankle. Other people in the cafe could probably see exactly what was going on under the table, but I didn’t care. It was nice to get the attention.

My cheeks flared hot. “What do you want?” I asked bravely.

Ella and Lizzie giggled between them. “Maybe we should leave you to it.” Ella made a motion to move away.

Grabbing her arm, I prevented her from leaving. I had only started the conversation to try and get to know Nathan. I enjoyed winding him up.

“How about I decide what it will be, and when I get it right, I’ll let you know what you have to do,” Nathan stated.

My head moved from side to side. I wasn’t a fool. “Really? You expect me to let you have complete control?”

Nathan quickly looked at the other two. He was a private person, but he was being quite obvious. “What do you think I’m going to do? We’re friends. I always treat my friends with the utmost respect. Whatever I choose for my prize for guessing the song correctly will be harmless…and fun.”

It was like a stab to the heart. Even Lizzie and Ella looked down at their drinks. I pulled my foot back, leaving Nathan’s floating in mid-air.

“Okay. If you guess the answer, I’ll buy you lunch. If you get the song, and the artist, I’ll do your chores around the house.”

Some bossy contestant had set up daily cleaning chores for the household. Nothing too in depth. They hired someone in for that. But a bunch of people living together could get messy.

“Okay. I was thinking of something more exciting than that, but I’ll go with your suggestion.”

Sitting back in his seat, he put the earphone in his ear. His whole demeanour changed as soon as I switched to friend mode. If he claimed we were friends, we would be friends.

“Too easy. Skip,” he demanded.

I let myself be dictated to, but only this once. Doing as he asked, I skipped to the next song.

“Linkin Park,” he said with a grin.

I skipped again.

“Shinedown.”

And again.

“Nirvana.”

Surely he didn’t know all of the artists I used to listen to?

“Erm...” It looked like he had to think about the last one. “I’m only joking, it’s an uncommon Guns N’ Roses song.”

It had been over ten years since I started to listen to rock music. It had spoken to me at that time in my life. I would sometimes reminisce by listening to old albums. I still related to them.

My music collection was vast. I even had separate genre playlists.

“Now, that was impressive.” Ella held her hand out to Nathan. He placed the earphone in her palm. “My turn.”

“You don’t like rock,” I said as the food was brought over.

“I know how many playlists you have on your phone, woman. Get one up that you know I’m going to like.”

“That defeats the object. You’re not supposed to be able to guess them. I’m supposed to be able to win. Nathan tricked me.”

The others chuckled as Ella huffed and shoved the wire back at me. Nathan wrapped his mouth around the burger he had ordered.

“Looks like I’ll be treating you to that burger,” I said, blushing when he licked his lips all the way round intentionally.

“Yes. That’s not my only prize, though, is it?”

I put my phone away and nibbled on my sandwich. “What do you mean?”

He took another bite before washing it down with water. “I got quite a few right. I could have kept going, but I didn’t. You said if I guess the artist, I would win. I guessed quite a few. You owe me more than lunch.”

Grumbling, I looked down at my plate and scoffed a mouthful of sandwich, just like he had.

“You two are funny,” Lizzie said.

Nathan looked towards her. She sat next to him, her elbow not far from his. She flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she gave him one of her cute smiles.

“It’s not me. She’s the funny one,” Nathan said. “The first time I met her…”

My foot had a mind of its own again. It rushed forward, grazing off the side of his leg. He didn’t need to bring up the whole bra incident in the middle of the cafe.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

The laughter started off quiet, but Nathan decided to retell the whole story.

“You should have seen her face.” Nathan finished his burger.

“I hear you saw much more than her face,” Lizzie implied.

My mouth dropped open, stretching wide as I looked at them in disbelief. How could they do this to me?

Nathan chuckled. “It was certainly a sight. Not a bad one, mind you.”

Lizzie’s eyes narrowed on Nathan before I caught her glaring. Was Lizzie jealous of what happened between Nathan and me? I knew that she had fancied him from the moment she’d seen him, but she had quickly realised that nothing would ever happen.

Or would it? If Nathan messed around with me, and I was his friend, there was no stopping him from messing around with other friends.

“Melissa is a lot more attractive than she likes to think. We keep telling her, but she won’t listen.” Ella patted my arm where it rested on the table.

“Can you not talk about me as if I’m not here?” I looked away from Nathan when he grinned down at Lizzie. Why was she making eyes at him?

“You’re beautiful,” Lizzie exclaimed.

The statement completely contradicted the feeling I got from her.

“She is,” Nathan said under his breath.

“And on that note, I think we better hurry up, and get back to work. We’ve had enough fun for today.” Finishing my drink, I got up from the table.

My friends raised their eyebrows at me as Nathan followed suit. At least he realised how important it was to rehearse. Not that I had been thinking about it until everyone seemed to turn on me.

“Don’t be so serious, Melissa. We love you.” Ella brushed crumbs from her top as I went over to the waitress and paid the bill. Might as well treat them all.

On my way back, the other three whispered between themselves. They quickly pulled away, their faces heating when I glared at them. I wouldn’t rush to have lunch with Nathan, and the others again, any time soon. It seemed that every time we tried to have fun, I ruined it. Maybe it was just me. I was being paranoid about Lizzie and Nathan. I was being paranoid about Nathan and every girl.

Why did I care so much?

Chapter Thirteen

“Can I talk to you?”

Nathan made me jump. His hands landed on my hips as he backed me into one of the studios. It was empty, the lights turned down low. I didn’t have time to think as he shut the door behind him and moved forward. Putting my hand up, I stopped him as his chest came into contact with my flat palm.

“Don’t confuse me anymore.” My whispered sentence made him pause.

He looked down at me, his pupils dilating when he saw the look on my face.

“What is it?” His deep voice rumbled through my skin, caressing every part of my body.

“I see the way you look at Lizzie. She could handle this better than I can.” I was about to back away when his hand fell onto mine, holding it against his chest.

“I don’t see Lizzie that way. Why would you think that?”

My whole body wanted his touch. I wanted him to do what he wanted. But when I saw everyone else flirt with him, I couldn’t handle it. He was handsome, but he wasn’t mine. He wanted to sleep with me, but he didn’t want to be with me. I was thirty years old. It was about time I started to realise that Nathan wasn’t going to change.

“She’s very pretty. There’s a lot of younger girls here. For all I know, you’re seeing them all. God, I sound just like a teenager.”

I ripped my hand away, turning towards the wall. He didn’t make a sound, not even when he moved towards me. I only realised that he’d advanced when his hand landed on my shoulder.

“I don’t want any of them. I can’t give you everything you want. But, I can give you more than you’ve got while we’re here,” he whispered.

My neck stiffened, preventing my head from falling back to land on his chest. We hardly knew each other, yet I couldn’t keep away.

“How do you know what I want?”

His hand was still. The heat of his palm seared my skin where it made contact.

“I can tell. You want an amazing romance. You want a man who will give you everything. That’s what you deserve.”

The butterflies in my stomach agreed with him. He was right. That was what I wanted. So why did my body plead to let him do everything? Except love me.

“If you know that’s what I want, and that’s what I deserve, why can’t you leave me alone? I really am too old for you,” I murmured.

His fingers squeezed my shoulder so hard, I bit my lip to prevent myself from moving away. His other hand brushed the hair away from my neck. Tugging gently, he slowly pulled me around to face him.

“I don’t know what it is about you. From the moment I met you, I felt this weird attraction. This magnetic pull towards you. But, I know it’s just lust.” He smiled when I glared at him. “It’s like I want to have sex with you all day and every day. I realise that’s not what you want. Maybe it’s not that you’re too old for me, but I’m too young for you.”

Our gaze was connected the whole time he spoke. My heart thudded against my chest. He made all the right points but alluded to the main one. He didn’t love me. And, I didn’t love him. I couldn’t fall that quickly, especially when he didn’t return the feeling. Could I?

“Maybe. Although, I’ve not been acting my age recently.” I smiled suddenly, remembering some of the embarrassing moments of the past few months.

“I can leave you alone. If that’s what you really want. You’re single, I’m single. It just seems a waste not to take advantage of that.” Nathan held his hand in mine, stroking his thumb along my palm.

In the past, when a man had done that, I had pulled away. The sensation was too intense for me. With Nathan, it was different. I didn’t want to pull away. It was like he said, there was a magnetic attraction between us.

My heart beat so hard in my chest, I could hear it in my ears. My skin burned with heat as I imagined what he would do to me. My breath panted in and out as I fought with my desire for him.

“I can see how much you want this,” he whispered without making any movement. “But, I will never try to force you. It’s your choice.”

I could see his tactic. He was seducing me, allowing me to go to him. That was the tiny decent part of him. At least he wasn’t pushing me too hard.

“Why do you shy away from love?” It was too late to pull back the question.

Nathan’s fingers froze where they rested. His soft gaze turned hard. His shoulders went stiff.

“I told you before, it just doesn’t suit me. I can’t give you what you want. If this has to end because of that, I’m prepared for that to happen.” He swallowed. “Even though I don’t want it to.”

I rubbed my hand over my forehead, releasing his hand to do so. He confused the hell out of me. He said he wanted to be with me for sex. He said he couldn’t do love. The reaction in his posture when I mentioned the word love gave me reason to run as far away as possible. But, there I stood. Unable to wrench my feet from the carpet on the floor.

“Let’s make an agreement,” I said. “One more time. This is your reward for getting all those bands.”

Nathan’s gaze snapped to mine. His breath deepened when I smiled up at him.

“Are you sure? I did have some good things planned for my reward…in my head, anyway.”

I chuckled when he reached forward and took my hand. His gaze softened once again as he looked down at me.

“I hate to think what they were. Will you tell me?”

His grin stretched across his face. “How about I show you?”

I shook my head quickly. “That scares me. I have no idea what sort of perverted mind you have.”

We both laughed, relaxing the tension.

“Your brother did mention that, although it sickened him, he’d been told by your friends that you had quite a perverted mind yourself.” Nathan tilted his head to the side.

“Did he now? What the hell was my brother doing talking about me in that regard with my friends? That’s wrong. In fact, shut up. You’ve put me off. I’m not getting horny with you while we talk about my brother. Even if you are talking about the perverted side of things.” I giggled as Nathan pulled a face and shook his head.

He took a step back, pulling me with him. The studio was silent, the dim lights lending to the atmosphere. The perfect setting for what he was about to do to me. Not that I knew what he was about to do. The thought made my palms sweat and my pussy pulse.

“Let’s not talk about that anymore. Let’s not talk at all. I want to revel in our last time together.” His voice dropped low, huskier than I had ever heard it before.

His hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing underneath my eye. The tenderness meant more to me than any other contact we’d had.

“I’m okay with that.”

Reaching back, his other hand started to feel along the desk at the back of the room. I frowned as he swore and pulled away.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

His cheeks flared red as he grabbed something and made a positive sound. He had found what he was looking for.

“Sit down on the chair,” he demanded.

I hesitated. When he raised his eyebrows, I did as he said. He held up a long piece of string that just happened to be sitting in the studio. What the hell was he going to do with it?

“If this is our last time, let’s make it worthwhile.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head, I could feel them. I had never been tied up before. I instinctively knew what was going through his mind. Was I going to let him get his way? Could I really let myself be that vulnerable with a man I wasn’t in love with?

“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.

Nathan dropped to his knees in front of me. I reached out, running my hand over his cropped hair. He allowed me to indulge before he moved his head out of the way and held up the string.

“Have you done this before?”

I shook my head, there were no words. I was thirty, and I had never been tied up by a man. But then, I knew a lot of people that had never been tied up. It was power-play. Something I had fantasised about but never done.

“Have you ever been curious?” he asked.

My mouth gulped open before I could gather my thoughts. “Are you planning to beat the crap out of me with a…?” I looked around to see what weapon he could use.

“No, I don’t plan on beating you up. That’s not my style. It shouldn’t be anyone’s style,” he said, placing his hand on my ankle and running it up the back of my leg.

“Do you like to control? Want to make me your puppet?”

His palm travelled up the outside of my thigh and over my hip, squeezing gently when he touched my love handles.

“I’m not going to do any of that. I want to tie you up, so I can please you. It’s very, very sexy.”

Grabbing the string from his hand, I looked down at it. “Why don’t you let me tie you up?”

Nathan shrugged, nodding in agreement. “Okay. I’m happy to let you please me.”

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I debated whether or not I wanted to get the string involved. I didn’t want to give him power over me. He already had enough.

“How about we don’t use it?”

I dropped the string on the floor, leant forward and squeezed the back of his neck, pulling him towards me. He looked a bit disappointed, but he let me distract him from the tying up idea. I wanted to enjoy our last time, not be conscious of what was going on with different games.

“You really would like it if you gave it a go,” he muttered against my lips as he got closer.

I kissed him, gently at first. His tongue tried to gain entrance to my mouth, but I blocked him. Instead, I pulled back so he stopped probing. Moving my head forward, I flicked my tongue over his lips. He opened his mouth, but I pulled back before he could kiss me properly. He quickly caught on and sat completely still. Swirling my tongue around his soft lips, I kissed him gently at the end.

“Little tease,” he whispered.

I chuckled as his fingers buried into my hair at the back of my head, and he plunged his tongue into my mouth, not giving me an option. My arms wrapped around his strong torso, stroking his back. The muscles rippled as he moved his hand up and down my arm. His other hand gripped my hair, so he could explore my mouth with his tongue.

He pulled away suddenly, grabbed my waist, and lifted me off the chair. I gasped at the quick movement as arousal rushed throughout my body.

I stood in front of him, waiting to see what he would do next. He was still on his knees. His hands ran up the back of my legs and over my buttocks. His fingers, squeezed me tight. Working his way round the front, he skimmed his fingertips across my stomach. I breathed in, conscious that he could feel my overindulgence.

“You really don’t need to do that. I like your stomach.”

I looked down at him. A sense of power I’d never felt before rushed through me, slipping straight to my pussy.

“That’s good,” I managed to push through my teeth.

Nathan deftly undid the button on my jeans, taking his time to unzip them, and push them down over my hips. He signalled for me step out of them by tapping on my calf.

I prepared myself to be turned around. When I went to move, he put a hand on my knee to still me.

“It’s going to be different today.”

His eyes travelled down my face and over my body. My top was still on, my breasts safely encased in a bra. His gaze looked straight between my legs. He wasn’t touching me, just watching. Studying every part of me that he could see.

“You trimmed before you came. Were you expecting something to happen?” he asked.

“Stop looking and start doing,” I said, grinning to myself when his gaze snapped up to mine.

He nodded once before moving forward. His lips pressed against my thigh, just above the knee. Tingles spread on my skin as his tongue snaked in a pattern towards the hair on my pubic bone. It travelled up, around, and down the other side. My legs were slightly apart, but my thighs touched, blocking his way.

“Open for me,” he whispered.

My stomach jolted when his tongue pushed between my thighs, not far from where the heat of me was burning hot. I opened my legs, giving him enough room to gain access. His tongue instantly made contact with the crease of my pussy. My head fell back as he lightly ran it up and down, not spreading me apart. He took a deep sniff, smelling the very core of me.

The moan that escaped him made whole body buzz with warmth. It turned me on to know that he liked how I smelt. I had no idea why men were turned on by the scent of a woman.

“You smell amazing,” he whispered.

I couldn’t move. If I wasn’t careful, my legs would start to shake. His breath huffed against me as he slowly, purposefully, pressed his tongue into the crease of me, stretching me open. He ran it over my clitoris and down to my pussy opening.

I clenched my hands at my side as he moved his tongue in and out of me, pulling completely away so I could feel the tip of his tongue sinking into me when he came back. I shuddered as the pleasure built. He sighed when a groan left my lips. His tongue stiffened as he moved towards my clitoris.

“Don’t stop,” I breathed.

He nodded which made his tongue flick up and over the sensitive spot that he knew so well. How had he become such a pro? Not many men knew exactly where a clitoris was.