Cloudburst (26 page)

I tried to look away, shifting my gaze quickly from one face to another, and then caught Summer Garfield standing at the corner of the junior high corridor. She stood with a few of the other girls who were looking at Ryder and me, but her face wasn't awash with admiration. Her face was brilliant with red rage almost washing out her black lipstick and mascara. For a moment, her hateful stare took my breath away, and then Ryder turned us toward homeroom, and she was out of sight, but not out of mind, at least not out of my mind.

Even so, our day started out smoothly. Ryder was talkative in all of our morning classes and was even a little friendlier toward most of the other guys in our class. Between classes, we walked together, either holding hands or with his arm around my shoulders. I could see we were the focus of everyone's attention, especially again at lunch. I thought things were going very well. Bobby Jenkins even paused to tell me everyone was giving me credit for turning Ryder Garfield into a human being. But it was toward the end of the lunch hour when I realized things were not going to remain so picture-perfect. I could see it in the way other students were now looking at us. Something had occurred that had radically changed things.

As Ryder and I were heading for our first afternoon class, Jessica tapped me on the shoulder and asked if she
could speak to me. I could see from the expression on her face that she was bringing me some unpleasant news. Jessica was one of those girls who seemed to feed like vampires on someone else's misery. Whose was it going to be this time?

“Go on. I'll catch up,” I told Ryder, and hung back. “What?” I asked, impatient. I was getting intolerant of the immature behavior and planned to say something about it, even though it might lose me friends.

“Summer Garfield is spreading very nasty rumors about you,” she said.

“What do you mean? What rumors?”

“She's been telling girls in her class that you did everything with Ryder at their house yesterday. You did go there.”

“Did everything?”

“Everything!” she emphasized. “She claims she saw you. She says you're just like all the other girls Ryder brought home, star-struck and easy. She's going into disgusting detail.” She smirked. “Are you sorry you told me to keep my mouth shut about her now?”

“No. Don't say anything about that.”

“Sydney told me she heard something. I didn't tell her,” she quickly added with her right hand up, palm out. “You're more important. His sister is telling these stories to everyone she can. People are believing her, Sasha. They've come up to me, because they know we're best friends, to get it all confirmed. It doesn't matter what I tell them or how I defend you. They just smile and say, ‘Sure, sure.' ”

“Okay. I'll take care of it. Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” she said, obviously happy that she
was doing me a favor and it wasn't vice versa. “I'll keep trying to do what I can to stop it.”

“No! Don't do anything. Don't say anything, Jessica. The more you talk about it, the longer it lives,” I said. “Just ignore it.”

I hurried to catch up to Ryder, not sure what I should do. If I told him what Jessica had just told me, I knew he would go absolutely ballistic on Summer and maybe even cause a big scene here at Pacifica. On the other hand, if I didn't tell him and he found out what was being said very soon, which was quite possible, he might be angry with me for not warning him. Once the stories Summer was spreading reached all the boys in our class, especially a boy like Shayne Peters, they would be magnified and exaggerated. They would surely embarrass Ryder, I thought. I had no choice.
I'll have to
tell him,
I thought. The question was when was the most opportune time.

He smiled as I entered class. We hadn't known each other that long, but I saw that he could see something was bothering me. Why couldn't I be a hard read like Kiera? Why wasn't I blessed more with the powers of deception? Why was I so honest inside, especially after the things I had been through? One would think I had been trained by experts when Kiera and her friends abused me. Why was everyone else around here but me so comfortable behind a mask? Ryder's eyebrows dipped toward each other as he raised his palms.

“What's up?” he asked just as the bell rang.

“I'll tell you after class,” I whispered.

Since Jessica had told me what the topic of discussion
had been during lunch, I looked around and saw from the expressions on the other students' faces when they looked our way that Jessica was right. It was already all heard, digested, and believed by most. Of course, it made sense. Why wouldn't they think the son of a very famous Hollywood star and a world-famous mother could get a girl to do anything? Suddenly, I was the one who was feeling abused by their fame, not Ryder.

The moment the bell rang to end class, he was at me. All during class, I couldn't concentrate. Jessica's words echoed.

“Well? What got you so upset?”

“Your sister is spreading rumors about us,” I said.

“What sort of rumors? Rumors about what?”

My own anger had boiled over, and try as I might, I couldn't restrain myself.

“About yesterday, when I was at your house,” I said. I had to lower my voice because everyone was making a point of walking close to us in hopes of overhearing something they could spread.

Ryder's face reddened. “Tell me.”

“All I heard was she's been saying I did everything with you. She claims she saw us.”

“Everything?”

“Sexually, Ryder. Saying it that way leaves a lot to the imagination, and around here, imaginations have no limits or restrictions. According to Jessica, she's telling everyone that I'm just another in a long line of girls you were able to take advantage of.”

The blood rushed into his face. “I'll take care of it,” he said.

“Don't make a scene in the school. Please wait until you get home. You'll be falling right into her trap. She's unhappy, so she wants you to be unhappy, Ryder. Maybe you should just make your parents sit down and talk to her, tell them what—”

“I said I'll take care of it. And I mean now!” he said, and charged ahead of me toward the classroom door.

“Ryder!”

Why didn't I wait until the end of the day at least? I was sure he was heading for the junior high wing of the building. I hesitated just outside the classroom doorway and looked for him, hoping to call him back, but he didn't even get to make the turn in the hallway. Apparently, Shayne Peters and Kory Taylor had stopped him and made some sort of dirty comment. Even from where I was standing, I could see Ryder was steaming. I started in his direction, hoping still to prevent any problems, but I didn't get there in time.

Ryder turned and then swung back with his books clutched between his hands, slapping Shayne so hard on the left side of his face that he spun and then fell forward. Without a pause, Ryder continued turning and hit Kory on the jaw. He didn't fall, but he looked stunned. I shouted,
“No!”
but Ryder delivered a third blow, clubbing Kory just above his forehead. His legs gave out, and he sank to the hall floor.

Mr. Huntington, one of the high school math teachers, was in his doorway. At first, he was too shocked to move, but then he shot out and threw his arms around Ryder,
pulling him away from the other two. Shayne had gotten to his feet. He was a little unsteady, but he was determined to throw a punch and did. Mr. Huntington, who stood a good six foot three himself, turned his body so that the punch was deflected off his shoulder.

By then, there was a big commotion in the hallway. Mr. Denacio came running from his classroom to help, and some of the other boys charged in to keep Shayne and Kory from going back at Ryder. All three were then directed to Dr. Steiner's office. I stood there holding my breath. Jessica, Sydney, and Charlotte rushed to my side. There was still a lot of shouting going on, and other teachers were ordering the students to get to their classes.

“What happened?” Jessica asked.

I looked at her, the numbness in me receding and pure rage washing through my body.

“Figure it out,” I said, then turned and headed toward my next class. I held my books tightly against my chest. My body was still trembling, and oddly, what I feared was that my limp would return.

Practically everyone was late for class. After it settled down, I could feel that everyone's eyes were on me. I didn't look at anyone, but I didn't hear much, either. It was as if a meteor had hit the building. It all had happened that quickly. I didn't volunteer to answer any questions, and I didn't take a single note. Occasionally, I glanced at the doorway, hoping Ryder would appear, but he never did. When the bell rang to end the period, my girlfriends were around me again, this time all trying to be comforting.

I didn't see Ryder at all for the remainder of the day. I didn't see Shayne or Kory, either, for that matter, but by the end of the last period, word had spread that all three of them had been suspended and told to leave the building. This meant that none of them could return without his parents or a parent coming in to meet with Dr. Steiner. I headed for the parking lot, still bewildered.

Jessica made a point of telling me that she had not said anything to anyone, especially Shayne and Kory.

“I swear,” she said. “They heard it all from someone else.”

“Okay, Jessica.”

At the moment, I didn't want to speak to any of them. They sensed it and kept their distance. When I stepped outside, I saw Summer standing with some other girls who were usually picked up by taxis or limousines. I realized that she had to be picked up that way since Ryder had been sent home, driven off the school grounds. It was probably for the best. I could just imagine him trying to drive and losing his temper at her at the same time.

Maybe I was a little crazy by now. I knew it would shock my friends, but I walked over to Summer Garfield and asked her if she wanted a ride home.

“What?” she asked, unsure that she had heard what she had heard.

“I can bring you home.”

“I'd never get into a car with you now.”

“Why? Are you afraid of me?” I asked.

She looked at the other girls, who were almost as shocked as she was. “I'm not afraid of you.”

“So?”

“I don't want to be in the same car with you,” she said, taking a step back.

“I know what it's like to hate yourself,” I told her. “You don't know it yet, but I'm the best friend you have.”

She was unable to think of anything to say. I smiled and walked away. When I got into my car, I turned on my cell phone and called Ryder. I thought he wasn't going to pick up, but he did just before the message system clicked on.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“You don't want to know.”

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know, Ryder. Where are you?”

“I'm on the beach at Santa Monica,” he said. “Just to the left of the pier.”

“You didn't go home yet?”

“No. I don't want to ever go home.”

“I'll be right there.”

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me?”

“I said I'll be right there.” I hung up before he could utter another word.

The pier was always busy because of the restaurants, the merry-go-round, and the Ferris wheel. On weekends, it could be wall-to-wall with people, mostly tourists. I remembered how my mother and I would try to sell her calligraphy and my lanyards there because there were so many people in one small area, but the police usually moved us away. Sometimes we were just there to get something to eat ourselves. I recalled one time when my mother insisted we go on the Ferris wheel and I go on the merry-go-round.

To me, even at that young age, it seemed to be a terrible waste of the little money we had at the time, but she was adamant. She so wanted us, especially me, to feel as though we had a normal life, even if it was only for twenty minutes. On that Ferris wheel and with me on the merry-go-round and her smiling and watching, we had put our misery on pause. Smiles and laughter were rare birds that flew in, alighted on our faces and in our hearts, and then left us longing for the whisper of their wings, the sound of their songs.

I remember when we walked away from the pier, leaving the music and the chatter, the lights and the aromas of food behind and entering the darkness again. The pier was one place I had avoided all this time. I was afraid of the memory, like someone who was afraid that where she was now was really all a dream. The moment I was near or on the pier, I feared I would wake up and be homeless and lost again.

However, it did seem to be a fitting place to meet Ryder now, considering how dark and unhappy we both were. After I parked, I walked slowly toward the pier and then turned left. The sun was still quite strong and bright, even though it was sinking into the western horizon. Back when Mama and I were homeless, the sunsets weren't romantic. They were beautiful, of course. The clouds would sometimes take on a pink-grapefruit shade, and then the turquoise would deepen around the puffs. Other times, they just looked as if they were embarrassed and blushing. To me, they would brighten more as the sun dipped. It was like a last shout and cry.

The reason we sat quietly as the sun set was that we knew darkness would soon follow. As if they had been sleeping under the sand, other homeless people would come out. We'd see people wandering without any particular destination in mind. It was simply important to keep moving, even if it was in a large circle. Mama used to say that they were all hoping for a train or a car that would stop to take them away. Some, the ones who were recently homeless, still had that spark of hope lighting their eyes, and some had already fallen through disbelief into a mindless oblivion, where they didn't have to keep questioning and complaining or even hoping. They could drift like one of those lost clouds.