Clutch (Custom Culture) (19 page)

Chapter 27

Clutch

“Jeez, will you relax,” Barrett said, “I could bounce a bowling ball off the tension surrounding you.”

I tapped the pen on the counter. “This isn’t tension. This is full blown anxiety.” I looked over at my brother. “What if we find her and she tells me to go to hell?”

“Then we turn around and head back to California.”

“That wasn’t the response I was hoping for. I thought you’d tell me that she would never tell me to go to hell.”

The guy returned with the keys, and I pushed the rental contract across the counter to him. We were the only customers in the place, but it had taken him a good forty minutes to finally get to the point of handing us the keys. He took some glasses out of his pocket and stuck them on to look over the contract. I figured it would be another fifteen minutes before we left the place. His finger slid over the paper and then he stopped and glanced up at me over his spectacles. “You’re from California?”

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. If you’re looking for work up here, I know a few fishing boat captains who’d take you on for sure.” He returned to the contract. “Well, everything looks good. Do you need a map? The roads out here can get pretty tricky. It’s easy to get lost.”

Barrett pointed to his head. “I’m his map. We’ll be fine.”

“Are you all right with a manual transmission? I’ve only got a jeep left.”

“His nickname is Clutch.”

That humored the man. “I guess that means manual will work for you.”

I took the keys in my hand.

“Right out that door and to the right. Can’t miss it.”

We left the counter. I glanced over at Barrett. “Yeah, why the hell should I be anxious? The woman I love will probably hate me even more for following her here that is if we can even find her so that she can break my heart face to face. And, now we’re in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by glacial mountains, and I’ve got you for a map. Why the hell should I be worried? Sounds like an awesome time all around.”

We walked outside, and the wind cut us like sharp blades of ice. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat and scrunched my face down below my collar.

“Told you to bring gloves,” Barrett said.

“I can’t believe people actually live here.”

“You’re just extra wimpy because you’re from the land of bright sun and blistering heat waves. Believe it or not, since it’s spring, this is actually balmy. In January, you’d be taking your balls off and sticking them in those coat pockets.”

The jeep looked as shabby as the tiny car rental office we’d just come from. We climbed inside.

“I hope the heater works,” Barrett said.

“If it doesn’t then I’m sitting on my hands and driving with my knee.” A few turns of the key produced a rattling engine. We pulled out onto a long, two lane highway. A half mile down the road, the heat kicked in. “The scenery looks like it jumped out of a painting.”

Barrett stared out the window. “It’s pretty fucking awesome up here.” He looked down at his gloved hands. “If I hadn’t fucked up like I always do, I’d still be up here.”

“From what you’ve told me, it was your buddy, Gus, who fucked up.” My jaw clenched as I said the guy’s name. Barrett seemed to sense my sudden change of mood. “Just thinking about that guy putting his hands on her—”

“Stop thinking about that, Jimmy. She told me they were just friends. Besides, we’re not in Los Angeles anymore. These guys up here are tough as leather and they stick together. You can’t take this out on Gus. It’s not like he kidnapped Taylor. She packed her bags and left voluntarily with him.”

“Yeah,” I twisted my hands around the steering wheel. “But I still want to kill him.”

Barrett leaned forward and pointed through the front windshield. “Check that out. I’ll bet you’ve never seen that before.”

I leaned down and peered up. A huge eagle with a wingspan as wide as the jeep glided above the road and then disappeared into a copse of evergreens. “That was cool. Hell of a lot bigger than I would have expected.”

“They grow everything bigger up here. You should fit right in. The grizzly bears up here make the California black bears look like toys. There are wolves too. In fact, there’s a whole pack of them that live up near Gus’s cab . . .” He glanced over at me. “I guess you probably didn’t want to know that.”

“Probably not.”

“There’s a motel off the road over here. It has a diner. Let’s check in and go eat something.”

“I don’t want to waste any time. It already took longer than I thought to get here.” “You’ve got to be kidding? That girl has been chasing you for two years. I think you can wait a few hours before you start chasing her back. She’s only been here for a day.”

“I’m not chasing her.” The statement sounded even more stupid aloud than it had in my head. “I’m tracking her.”

Barrett laughed hard enough to steam up the window. He fiddled with the defrost button, but it only made things worse.

“Christ, Rett, I can’t see a fucking thing.”

He reached forward with his gloved hands and smeared the condensation across the windshield.

“Gee, that helped a lot.”

“That’s all right.” He pointed to the left side of the road. “There’s the motel and the diner. The office closes at dark. If we don’t check in we’ll have to freeze our asses out here in this jeep all night.”

“Fine, but you aren’t much of a tracker. I doubt Daniel Boone stopped to check into a motel when he was out forging trails.”

“I doubt he forged trails in a jeep either.”

We threw our duffle bags onto the beds in the tiny, dark motel room and headed across the parking lot to the diner. I stuck my hands back in my pockets and averted my eyes from the icy air. There were only two other trucks in the lot besides the jeep. “After leaving Los Angeles where each of us has only a few square feet to ourselves, this place is almost creepy it’s so desolate. It’s like we landed on Venus or something.”

“Neptune,” Barrett corrected me. “Venus is one of the hot inner planets. Neptune is a cold one.”

I glanced over at him. “Impressive. You must have paid attention in class occasionally.”

“Only in third grade science when we studied the solar system. It’s the only topic that caught my attention. We had to make solar system models at home.”

“Oh yeah, you used Mom’s fruit because she wouldn’t buy you Styrofoam balls.”

“Everyone else showed up with these fancy elaborate models to share, and I had to carry in my piece of cardboard with fruit glued to it. Saturn, the grapefruit, kept falling off because it was too heavy. Then I got a D because at the last minute Mom yanked off Earth, the apple, and stuck it in my lunch, glue and all.” He shook his head. “No wonder none of us did great in school.”

“Mom and Dad were great at providing the survival basics, but they seemed to think that was all we needed.”

We stepped inside and a gruff looking man greeted us. “Sit anywhere.”

There were six round tables and only one was occupied by two men. They stared openly at us as we walked to a table and sat down. One spoke up immediately.

“Looking for logging work?” he asked, directing his question at me.

“Uh, no, just here for a visit.”

“Too bad.” He went back to his meal.

Barrett smiled as he stared down at his menu.

“What’s so funny?” I asked. “And, why the heck is everyone offering me jobs up here?”

He looked up at me. “Well, Paul Bunyan, why do you think? You look like you could throw a lobster pot over the side of a boat with your bare hands and push down a tree with a kick of your boot.”

I picked up my menu and leaned back against the chair. “Well, if I’m Paul Bunyan then you must be
Babe
, my blue ox.”

The same gruff looking guy with a prickly, gray beard and deep wrinkles came up to take our order. He looked down at me over his writing pad. “I heard Becker hired a new timber faller. You must be him, huh?”

Barrett’s shoulders shook with a silent laugh, and I kicked him under the table. “Nope, just in town to visit.”

“My mistake. You look like a logger.”

I glanced at the menu. “I’ll have a double order of meatloaf and potatoes.”

He grinned. “Certainly. We call that the lumberjack.”

“Of course you do.”

Barrett handed him the menu with an annoying grin. “I’ll have the single order.”

I leaned forward. “How far is Gus’s place from here?”

“He lives in a kind of remote area. I think it’s about an hour from here.”

I glanced out the wavy glass window at the front of the diner. “Do you mean there are places even more remote than this?”

“Yep. We’re lucky it’s spring though. There will be more hours of daylight. I don’t think I could find my way to his place in the dark.” His mouth drew tight, and a rarely seen, serious expression crossed his face. “What are you going to do when you get there? Gus isn’t exactly a lay down kind of dude. He’ll be pissed when we show up.”

“Shit, Rett, you act like I’m going to just tear into his house and rip the guy to shreds.”

His brow lifted. “Don’t tell me that scenario hasn’t crossed your mind a few times.”

“A few times, yeah. But that’s just what I fantasize about doing. I’m just going to go up there and ask to talk to Taylor.” I looked out at the empty land that seemed to stretch on forever. “Taylor loves adventure and anything dangerous, but there’s no way this place would keep her entertained. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.” I looked at my brother. “I still can’t believe she just took off like that. I thought I meant more to her than that.” The old guy lowered two plates of food in front of me, and I stared down at them. As hungry as I was, nothing looked appetizing. My stomach was knotted with nerves. There was a real possibility that I’d lost Taylor for good, and that thought had ripped a bottomless hole in my chest.

Barrett reached for the ketchup bottle. “You do matter to her, but everyone has their limits. You never told me why she was so pissed at you.”

“I don’t know. The whole thing was such a blur. I was still reeling with rage at Jason for handing me an ultimatum between business with him or Taylor. Then I went to Dray’s fight with Nix. And for some reason, the girls showed up at Tank’s Gym.”

He nearly choked on a piece of meatloaf. “By girls, you mean
The Girls
?”

“Yep, Scotlyn, Cassie and Taylor. I have no idea what prompted it, but there they were, looking as out of place as three delicate daisies in a sea of brambles. Dray had no idea they’d come to watch. Unfortunately, he saw a guy grab Cassie and he decked the guy. Tank disqualified him and he never got to the ring.”

Barrett noticed that I was only picking at my food and aimed his fork at my second piece of meatloaf.

“Go ahead. I guess I don’t have a lumberjack’s appetite, after all.”

He doused the second piece with ketchup and carved it with his fork. “That doesn’t explain why Taylor was pissed at you.”

“Things just rolled downhill fast. Nix and I took Dray into the back room. I’ve never seen him so pissed. Cassie and the girls came into check on him, and he yelled at Cassie. She stormed off. Taylor turned on Dray for being such a douche, but I stopped her and told her to stay out of it.”

Barrett stared at me in slight disbelief. “You told Taylor to mind her own business?”

“Not in so many words, but. …”

He shoved a piece of meatloaf onto his fork. “You’re going to be in the doghouse a long time for that little misstep.”

“Yeah, I guess. But running off to Alaska was a bit of an overreaction.”

He swallowed a big mouthful and drank down some water. “Piece of advice, Bro, keep that obvious observation to yourself. It won’t help your case when you’re talking her into coming back with you.”

Chapter 28

Clutch

“I think I’ve seen more trees in this one afternoon than I’ve seen in my entire life put together.”

Barrett had taken the wheel. He’d claimed it would be easier for him to find his way back to Gus’s if he was driving, and I was glad to let him. It gave me an opportunity to look at the scenery and think about what I was going to say to Taylor once I’d found her. The whole thing was pretty damn ironic. She’d chased me around for two years and now I was chasing her. But, never once did I question whether or not I should have been in Alaska. I had to find her. If she didn’t want to come back with me then I would have to deal with that shitty reality, but I had to know for sure.

A thick layer of dark clouds capped the icy peaks surrounding the town. I tried to coax the heater to produce more warmth, but the rusty, old jeep was giving all that it had. I rubbed my hands together and blew into them. “It’s official. I’m a California wimp. This place is beautiful, but it’s too damn cold. Give me seventy degree Christmas mornings any time.”

“You get used to it eventually. But I can tell you that December and January were a true test of manhood, especially out on the Bering Sea. I would have cried if I hadn’t been worried that my tears would freeze on my face. It was so fucking cold out there, my sinuses burned with frost bite. The wind chill out there was so harsh, if a wave washed over you it would feel like bath water compared to the air. One time I hit my hand hard on the sorting table, and I was sure the thing was going to just snap off.” He turned the jeep up a long narrow road. We headed up into the mountains. The higher we drove, the more patches of snow we saw.

I peered up through the cloudy windshield. “Those clouds look menacing. Will it snow?”

“Nah, it’s too warm for that. Probably just rain, really cold rain.” He stopped in the road and threw the jeep into reverse. “I think I missed the turn off.” He backed up directly down the middle of the road. “Here’s something you don’t get to do in L.A.”

I smiled. “You could do it, but you’d probably get shot by the other drivers.”

He made a sharp right turn onto an unpaved road. “Yeah, this is it.” He pointed through the windshield. “The pine tree that looks like it has two heads is my marker. Lightning strike, according to Gus.” He glanced over at me. “His cabin is just up the road.”

It was all I needed to hear. My heart was beating hard against my ribs. I still hadn’t formulated what I would say to her. Something told me that even if I had a script printed in my head, all of it would float away the second I saw her. Taylor had that kind of effect on me. She’d always had that kind of effect on me. I’d just denied it for far too long.

The sky above darkened with heavy storm clouds, and yellow lights glowed in the few cabins we passed. Thin streams of smoke swirled up from stone and brick chimneys. Barrett turned up onto a steeply pitched path. The jeep chugged up the hill and then a small, rustic cabin came into view. The cabin was surrounded by towering pines, and the roof looked as if it sagged beneath the weight of dried pine needles. Logs of wood were piled high and long enough to cover the entire side wall of the house. Otherwise, the place looked sad and lonely as if no one had ever lived there.

“It looks dark, like no one’s home.” Just thinking about Taylor living in the shabby, unfriendly cabin sent a chill through me.

Barrett parked the jeep, and we climbed out. The small window in the front door was crusted with dirt. We walked up the creaky front steps and I knocked. There was no answer or movement inside.

“Are you sure you’ve got the right place?”

“I’ve been here a bunch of times.” Barrett looked at his phone. “No reception up here. I can’t text him. He’d be pissed anyhow.” He hopped down from the porch and walked around back to a small garage. He smeared the dirt off a small side window and peered inside. “Gus’s truck isn’t here. He hangs out down on the pier at a bar. It’s not that far. Let’s go down there and see if anyone has seen him.”

“Them,” I said. “Remember, Taylor’s with him.” It was hard to believe, but I was actually hoping she was right there by his side. Then I would at least know that she was safe. The empty cabin had left me with an icy knot in my gut, and now I was even more anxious to find her. I needed to know she was all right.

We climbed back into the jeep and coasted down to the road. Sprinkles fell on the windshield, and Barrett searched for the wiper switch. They worked about as well as the jeep’s heater, and we both instinctively leaned forward to get a better view of the road.

“We really only have to worry about wild animals running into the road,” Barrett said cheerily.

“Could you please stop talking about wild animals. As it is, my stomach is twisting around that chunk of meatloaf.”

“Don’t worry, Taylor can take care of herself.”

“Yeah, when she’s in her sunshiney, suburban neighborhood where there are no grizzlies, wolves or blizzards.”

“It’s spring. I don’t think blizzards are a problem. Unfortunately, grizzly mamas and their cubs are just starting to wake up from their long winter naps.”

I stared over at him, and he quickly remembered my request to stop talking about wild animals.

We drove another half hour. Juneau was nestled tightly between mountains, and even though it was not a large town, it seemed like it took forever to get from one place to another. My worry grew with each long, cold mile of wet road. The defroster in the jeep was a joke, and with my nerves on edge, I was glad Barrett was behind the wheel.

A deep blue bay of water came into view as we drove around the curve of the main road. Barrett didn’t dare take his hands off the wheel, but he motioned to the left with his chin. “If you look through the haze, you can see a small pier behind all the anchored boats. That’s where we’re heading.”

“I just hope we find them there. Something about that deserted dark cabin has my stomach in a knot. I’ve got a really bad feeling about all this.”

“We’ll find her. Don’t worry.” Barrett turned down a short road that ended right where the pier started. He turned off the engine and looked at me. “If he is here with her, he’ll be surrounded by all his buddies.”

“And, you’re telling me this why?”

“Just keep a lid on the temper, big brother, or we’ll both end up strapped to the bow of a ship.”

“I just want to see Taylor and know that she’s all right.” We climbed out. “And I don’t have a bad temper.”

Barrett found an annoying amount of amusement from that declaration. The temperature had dropped profoundly since we’d first stepped off the plane at the airport. Out on the water, it was, as Barrett had warned, cold as fuck. The rain had stopped once we’d reached sea level, but the clouds still hugged the mountain tops assuring us that rain was falling at the higher elevations.

The moored boats bobbed up and down in the dark, choppy water. Loud voices rumbled out of an open doorway. Barrett stepped into the place first. Glowing lights on the walls made the place far more inviting than the inside of the jeep. A few heads turned as we entered. One man looked me up and down and opened his mouth to say something.

“I’m not looking for work,” I said.

“Too bad.” He returned his attention to his plate of food.

“Hey, Barrett,” the bartender called across the room, and a few more heads turned.

I scanned the room for Taylor but couldn’t find her or Gus for that matter. It seemed we’d reached another dead end.

“Hey, George, have you seen Gus?” Barrett asked as he approached the counter.

George looked puzzled and then he motioned with his head. “He’s right there at the end of the bar.”

Gus was draped over a large glass and pitcher of beer, hardly aware of anything going on around him. Taylor was nowhere in sight. I was overwhelmed with worry, and before Barrett could stop me, I stormed over to him and shook his arm to get his attention. I’d gotten everyone else’s attention too.

Gus nearly slipped back off his stool as he lifted his face high enough to see me. The guy was as drunk as anyone could be before collapsing into a worthless heap. His lids drifted down as if keeping his eyes open was a chore. He noticed Barrett for the first time and smiled. “Hey Barrett,” his words were slurred, “what brings you to town? If you’re looking for that crazy bitch, she’s gone.”

I grabbed hold of his shirt and several chairs scooted across the floor. Barrett put a hand on my arm. “He can’t tell us where she is if you knock him senseless.”

I released him.

“Where did she go?” Barrett asked. He glanced back at the angry scowls that circled us. “Everything is fine. We’re just looking for someone.” The scowls remained. They closed in on us, but, at this point, I was ready to take them all out with one fist.

Gus looked up at us again as if he’d forgotten we were standing there. “That chick is as crazy as they come. We’d barely landed at the airport when she was begging me to send her home. I wasn’t about to spend more money on a ticket back to California. She already owes me for the first ticket.”

My jaw was clenched tightly, but I managed to spit coherent words out. “Where is she now?”

The scumbag just shrugged and lifted his beer glass to his mouth. I smacked it out of his hand and it went flying into the mirror over the bar. The glass and mirror shattered, and more chairs scraped the floor. Gus stood up quickly and then stumbled back a few steps before grabbing hold of the bar to steady himself. I could feel the heat of the men behind us as they moved closer.

Focusing on me wasn’t easy but Gus managed it. “I have no idea where that bitch went, and I hope I never see her again.”

Barrett knew me well enough to place a restraining hand on my arm, an arm that was ready to throw a fist into the guy’s face. “Let’s go, Jimmy, she’s obviously not here.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “And you won’t be able to find her if you’ve been pummeled into a pulp by Gus’s pals. We’re outnumbered big time.”

In another twist of irony, Barrett was being the voice of reason. I nodded and fished out my wallet. I tossed a hundred dollar bill onto the counter and looked at the bartender. “For the mirror.” Then I pulled out two more bills and shoved them into Gus’s pitcher of beer. “For her plane ticket.”

Gus lifted his head. “If the cold hasn’t gotten her already then there are plenty of hungry wolves scouring the woods.”

I turned. We’d almost made it out, but the asshole’s last comment was too much. My elbow shot back and made direct contact with his face. He flew backward off the stool. His loyal security guards didn’t move. Barrett and I stood in the center with fists tightened and ready to defend ourselves.

The tension in the surrounding circle melted, and one guy walked over to help Gus to his feet. Another one shrugged. “After that last comment he deserved it. I hope you find the girl.” He looked out the window. The water was angrier and the sky was black with storm clouds. “And soon.”

We got into the jeep as if we had some plan, some fucking clue where to go. Raindrops pelted the windshield and seemed to freeze up in crystal shaped ice pellets the second they hit the freezing glass. Barrett turned on the engine to get some heat flowing out of the dash. Our breath came out in short, cloudy bursts. The black feeling I’d had in my gut earlier had grown, and a sense of complete helplessness washed over me.

With no other idea what to do, I sent her a text message knowing full well that there would be no response. I stared at my phone hoping I could magically draw out an answer, that she would tell me she was safe. I texted Scotlyn and Jason to see if they’d heard from her but neither text went through. “I don’t even have any bars on my phone. We’re in the middle of the fucking North Pole up here.”

Barrett pulled the jeep back onto the road.

“What the hell are we going to do, Rett? Do you know where the police station is? Maybe she ended up there.”

“That’s where I thought we’d start. Try not to freak out yet because you are the guy who always keeps his cool and his head. If you lose it, then I’ll lose it right behind you.”

I shook my head. “There’s no way I can keep my head when it has to do with Taylor. She has been the biggest thorn in my side for two years.” I stared out at the lethal looking storm clouds. With every minute of daylight disappearing, the rain came down harder and colder. I thought about Taylor out there somewhere all alone. “If anyone ever pulls that thorn from my side, I will bleed to death. Shit, Rett, I need her. I can’t even think about life without her.”

“No kidding. I was wondering when she’d finally penetrate through that iron skull of yours.”

The jeep’s windows frosted up, and it seemed there would be no relief from the defroster in the dash. I reached forward and wiped off the condensation with the edge of my coat sleeve, but I only made things worse.

“Great,” Barrett quipped. “I used to at least be able to see where the road ends and people’s yards begin.”

“Sorry. How much farther is the station?” Taking charge of stuff was always easy for me. My confidence had always led me successfully out the other end, and it was rare for me to feel despair but I was definitely feeling it. Dozens of horrid scenarios danced around my head, and I could not rid myself of them.

“It’s still a few miles.”

“She has no money, and worse, she probably doesn’t have much more that a sweatshirt to keep warm. It seems colder than even the coldest winter night in California. There was no way she was prepared for this physically. I can barely stand it myself.”

“It’s a small enough town that someone somewhere had to have seen an unfamiliar, pretty girl dressed in ridiculously light clothing,” Barrett said. “We’ll find her. She can’t have gotten far.”

Visibility seemed to decrease around every corner, and Barrett had to slow the jeep. My body was rigid with tension. I knew if he went any faster we risked hitting something, but it still didn’t decrease my urge to slide my leg over to the gas pedal and step on it.

We entered the downtown area, which, aside from the tall, tree covered mountains looming above the city, looked like any other small town with shops and buildings lining a two way main street. Being closer to civilization and the conveniences of a city, no matter how small, made me feel better. If Taylor had just managed to get to Juneau, she would have been able to find help.