Clutched (Wild Riders) (18 page)

Her nimble fingers frantically unbuckled my belt and undid my pants. I helped her push them down enough to free my painfully hard cock, before bunching her dress up around her waist. I let my hands work over the curves of her ass as her slender fingers wrapped around me, stroking me from top to bottom. Time stood still for us—like the universe was finally giving us a break and letting us enjoy this moment together. Our hands and mouths took as much from one another as possible. I lifted her leg up and thrust myself inside of her. The walls of her pussy clenched around me so tightly, I had to remind myself that I needed to savor every move I made.

I wanted to tell her exactly how fucking perfect her body was, but words would only make this that much harder to walk away from. I couldn't tell her how incredible she felt in my arms. Or how being inside of her was greatest feeling I'd ever known. This moment was about us letting ourselves act on impulse and nothing more. To get out of each other’s systems. I drew out each and every kiss. Every thrust. Every single part of our time. Until, I couldn't hold back any longer. Her body clenched around mine as her insides quaked. I withdrew to my tip knowing that the next move I made would be the last and drove into her, hoping to give her a solid memory of how incredible this all was. A memory was all we'd be able to take away from this.

I came harder than I'd ever come before, taking her right over the edge with me. I placed my lips on hers and greedily took one last kiss.

“That was definitely worth it,” I'd told her after we'd caught our breaths. Her dark hair was tangled around my fingers and before I untangled them I pressed my lips to hers needing one more kiss.

“Definitely,” she agreed. Her blue eyes were fuller, clearer even, as we stood there in one another's arms for a moment longer. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to pull myself from inside the warmth of her body. I didn't want to not be able to kiss her again. I certainly didn't want to have to go back to pretending. But we had to. We had to go back out to the reception and put on the show that we'd been performing for what seemed like forever now.

“Here,” I said, pulling myself from her and immediately regretting that we couldn't repeat exactly what we'd just done. I tugged up my pants and walked over to grab her a handful of tissues so she could clean herself up.

Just twice
? It was a stupid thought to have, but it didn't stop it from generating in my head. Once was not enough. Twice wouldn't be enough either. Hell, a thousand times wouldn’t have even done it.

“You should go out first,” she suggested. There was a hint of a smile on her lips as she pushed her dress down. “I need a minute.” There were so many things I wanted to say, but all I could muster up was an “okay” as I walked away from her.

* * *

“W
here have you been?” my brother asked when I returned to the reception. I'd slipped out of the room as inconspicuously as I'd entered, leaving Chayse behind with satisfied grin on her kiss-swollen lips to collect herself.

“Just needed a minute,” I told him as I grabbed my beer from the table. It had been sitting there for a good thirty minutes, but I didn't care. I needed to drink something. It was only a matter of time before the reality of the situation I'd just created took over my thoughts. For now, I was still on the slow descent from euphoria. I'd allow myself the rest of the night to revel in what had just happened between Chayse and me. “You know how I feel about crowds.”

“You missed the garter toss,” he said with a laugh. “Not that you stood a chance.” He pointed over at Brett who was smiling—garter in hand—as Georgia sat on his lap and laughed. I didn't miss the bouquet of flowers she was holding in her hand. The one I assumed she wrestled some other single girl to the ground for. It wouldn’t be long before they were walking down the aisle. I would have never pegged Brett for the marrying type. He was always the life of the party kind of guy. Georgia Bennett had him whipped and he didn't seem to mind it one bit.

I certainly never pegged myself as the contract, rule breaking kind of guy either. My cock was still surging with satisfaction as I thought about what I'd just done. What we'd just done. She'd kissed me with as much passion as I felt. She'd held on to me like she didn't want to let go. She'd come hard around me and shown no signs of being ashamed or regretful.

“My wife would like to dance,” Reid said, leaning over to bump his shoulder against mine. I watched as Nora waved him onto the dance floor as the music started to pick up. A few familiar faces were out there with them having a great time. My mother and father were dancing like it was 1989—running man and all. They'd definitely had too much wine. Brett and Georgia had turned their hug upright and were locked together at the hips and face. I'm not even sure how they managed to breathe. Link Hoffman was trying to start a dance off with one of the other racers from Mill Valley. The whole thing was a spectacle to behold and all I wanted to do was a laugh about it with Chayse. I knew she'd have some very colorful commentary about my uncle's super white dance moves.

I saw Chayse walking toward me and felt relief. I also wanted to scream from the rooftops that she was mine.

I just had sex with her and it was fan-fucking-tastic!

No, that wouldn't be completely inappropriate. Just as I contemplated convincing her that maybe it shouldn’t be a one-time thing, that it should be a very regular thing that we did as often as possible—daily, hourly, even—I saw Nick stop her on the edge of the dance floor.

She smiled at him and nodded her head as he whispered something in her ear, pretending to be the good girl I knew she despised, as he prattled on about Lord only knows what under the cover of the music. When he placed his hand on her shoulder and slowly caressed her skin, heat burned from the center of my chest and out to the rest of my body. With my fist in a clench at my side, I watched her turn from his touch and nod her head once more. Her quick actions had stopped me from doing something I would have definitely regretted. I was pretty sure it was frowned upon to beat the shit out of the guy you took marching orders from for touching the one woman you're not even supposed to be touching in the first place.

“Got a lot on your mind?” a voice called out. I turned abruptly from my anger to find Donovan Murray standing next to me.

“Nope,” I said quickly. “Nothing at all.” The man who signed my paychecks was speaking to me and all I could think to say was “nope.” I was idiot. “It's good to see you Mr. Murray.” I held out my hand and tried to recoup for my stupidity. “I know it means a lot to Reid and Nora that you're here.”  He wasn't known for his public appearance so the fact that was here was a big deal.

“I like to support my team,” he said with a smile. “And can we cut the Mr. Murray crap?” He chuckled. “I'm like five minutes older than you.”

“Of course, sir,” I replied, earning a frown from him. “I mean, Donovan.”

“That's better.” He paused. “I wanted to come over and personally thank you for all your hard work. You've managed to take not one, but two of our riders and turn them into superstars.”

“Thank you, but I think it's way more them than me.”

“Don't be so modest,” he said. “You've contributed a lot to their success. I couldn't be happier with your dedication. A smart guy like you could go a long way.”

There wasn't anything too smart about what I'd just done with Chayse a few minutes ago. Not at all. Standing there and having Donovan praise me wasn't helping the guilt I kept feeling.

“Thank you,” I said again.

“If you ever have any interest in the business end of things, I'd love to see what you could do over at headquarters. I'm sure you would have some fantastic ideas for the company.”

“That's quite an offer.” I'd never really imagined myself anywhere but a track. The idea of being behind a desk and making decisions that effected more than just a race was kind of appealing. “I'll definitely keep that in mind.”

“Please do,” he suggested. “There's no doubt in my mind that you could be running the company before too long. Just give me a few more years in the big chair,” he smirked.

“Will do,” I said with a laugh. Just then a pretty blonde woman waved to him from across the room.

“Looks like my wife needs me,” he said, nodding to her. “It was great to catch up,” he said as he walked away. “And don't forget about what I said. There's a spot waiting for you.”

I nodded as I processed the information. Talking to Donovan and seeing Chayse talking to Nick were stark reminders of everything that we stood to lose if we lost control again. We couldn't.

“Rubbing elbows with Murray now?” Chayse had walked over and was now standing a few feet from me.

“Something like that,” I said with a heavy breath. “He just wanted to say hi.” I wanted to tell her exactly what he'd just said to me. I liked being able to talk to her. To get her opinion on things, but that was something couples did and we were not a couple.

“I haven't had a chance to meet him yet,” she said. The disappointment on her face was clear. “I should introduce myself, right?”

“Of course,” I told her. “He thinks you're doing a great job.”

“Really?” The fact that she seemed surprised was adorable. It still caught me off guard that this seemingly confident woman still had moments of vulnerability.

“Really.” I grinned. “You are fantastic rider.” She returned the smile. “So... what was that about?” I asked. “With Nick?” She left enough distance that we didn't look suspicious, but not enough that I couldn't smell the sweet scent of her perfume. A smell that only a few minutes ago had been intertwined with the smell of sex and desperation. I wanted to take her right back in the room and do it all over again. Knowing that she was standing there with no panties on under that dress—thanks to my greedy paws—was about to send me over the edge. I was starting to feel like I was losing my mind. The constant battle in my head was going to drive me insane if I didn't get a handle on it soon.

“He was just being Nick,” she said. “Wanted to remind me again that we need some team photos.” We both rolled our eyes and laughed. It was always the same thing with Nick. The brand. The money. The ways to use the brand to make more money. It was becoming laughable. “Oh, and he wanted to let me know that I have a flight back to Texas booked out of Lambert on Sunday morning. Early Sunday morning,” she said again shaking her head. “He really has no idea who I am. Early mornings are not my thing.”

“No they are not,” I chuckled. I had a fleeting thought that I'd be more than happy to wake her up on Sunday morning with my alarm clock... or my mouth, if she'd agree to give me one more night with her. The minutes that we'd shared together were already proving to not be enough. But that would have been completely selfish of me.

Just once.

That was all it was. I'd have to get by with remembering how amazing it was. There couldn't be a second time. Nope. She was out of my system. She had to be.

A
nxiety struck me the second that Hoyt walked out of that dressing room. We'd had sex and I was still trying to figure out exactly what to think about it all. Not that my brain was even close to working correctly. My body was still humming from his touch and causing my mind to cease functioning. It was mind blowing, to say the least. My body had never felt more in sync with another human being's. Every move I made, he matched with the same passion and wanton desire. There was no fear in his eyes as he pushed himself inside of me. There was no over thinking. There was just doing and he did it oh so well.

“Just once,”
he'd said. In the moment, I thought that I could do that. I thought that I would be able to walk away. About half way through the most incredible orgasm I'd ever had I knew I was wrong.

There was no way in hell that would be the last time. It couldn't be. Can you imagine if Johnny and Baby only danced once? That would have been a goddamned travesty. What had happened between Hoyt and I had been something special and for it to never happen again was incomprehensible. Nobody puts great sex in a corner and tells it to never happen again. Nobody.

I wanted to talk to Hoyt about it, but the chaos of the wedding didn't allow it. Before I knew it, it was over and Georgia was driving me back to the hotel.

“Did you have a good night?” she asked, looking in the rearview mirror at where I sat in the center of the backseat.

“Not as good as him,” I joked. Brett was already passed out and asleep in the front passenger seat. As for my night...incredible. I could still feel my sex throb when I thought about what had happen. The feel of Hoyt inside of me was haunting me. In a good way.

“He went hard,” she said. She reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I think he'll be regretting it tomorrow.” I could see that she was already preparing her mental game plan for taking care of her guy. She was already his designated driver and nursemaid. She didn't seem to mind one bit judging by the smile on her face when she looked over at him. That's what you did when you were a part of couple. You looked out for one another. You helped each other out. You stood by them when they needed you.

It was what I wanted to be with Hoyt. I'd never felt the way I felt about him with anyone else. Especially after the sex. After sex I was usually all “Thanks. Buh-bye now.” But with Hoyt, it was different. It hadn't worked anything out of my system. It had worked the idea that we could be amazing together inside instead.

Sure, he was a control freak who loved to over think the simplest things, but he made me feel like I actually mattered for once in my life. I was falling hard and fast. Too hard and fast to stop myself.

I might not have ever really been in love, but the way I felt with Hoyt had to be what all the hype was about. We laughed together. We had the same interests. We made each other better people. We'd had nearly wall shattering sex. I wanted to tell him all of these things and more.

“He's lucky to have you.”

“He really is,” she said. “But I'm lucky too.” She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled as we pulled into the parking lot of the Halstead Inn. Quaint as it was with its ten rooms and staff of three, I hated that I was going back to my room alone. If I had my way, I wouldn't be alone for long. Like Georgia and Brett, I wanted someone by my side. I wanted Hoyt.