Code Name: Kayla's Fire (35 page)

“Don’t see many of
those out here,” Sheriff Fisker said, leaning his head back and looking upward.

“See what?”

“That cedar you’re
leanin’ against. They’re not indigenous to the area.”

He jumped away from the
tree, looking up like the sheriff. The archipelago, she’d been raised amongst
the mammoth great cedars of the west coast. This was why she’d changed course.
She’d used nature as a sign.
Okay,
sweetheart, I get it.
“Back to the river,” he yelled and made his way to
the stream. The dogs sat on their haunches waiting for their next order. It had
to be here. Slowly he scanned the trees, bushes, then his gaze fell to the
water. The stream wasn’t deep. Flat rocks littered the streambed. The hair
stood up on the back of his neck, telling him he was missing something, seeing
it, but not registering. Nature, direction, Kayla, concealed. He concentrated
on the words like stones on a pathway. Stones! Not three feet ahead of him, he
saw it, and stepped into the shin high water. A pile of rocks, in the form of a
thick arrow, and it pointed downstream. “She doubled back,” he said. All heads
turned his way. “That way, put a dog on either shore.” It took ten minutes, but
the dog on the left shoreline, barked and then began to run. The other dog
darted across the stream and joined its partner.

“Kayla,” he called out.
If she was close enough, she could hear them. If the Shark was still in the
area he’d give up the chase. “Kayla!”

The other men started
calling out her name as well. Tripping along the river’s edge, they descended
toward the ranch house. Doubling back and positioning herself closer to the
ranch house was her only option. When help arrived, she’d be able to make a run
for it. The dogs were ahead of them, running hard after her scent.

He stopped, listening.
Their bark had changed. He’d worked with enough dogs over the years to know
they’d found what they were looking for. An image of her torn apart like the
other women clawed its way through his mind.

Never.

He darted into the tree
line, heading for the dogs. No more than a hundred meters. His lungs burned,
his heart banged in his chest. He overtook the handlers and fought his way
through a thicket of growth, behind it a large mass of rock grew into a
hillside. What would he find? Thorns cut into his skin as he thrashed through
the branches, the thicket trying to trip him up.

Kayla was on her hands
and knees trying to silence the dogs. He picked her right off the ground and
yanked her to his chest. “Oh, God, sweetheart, thank fucking God.” He peppered
her with kisses. The dogs kept barking and more feet approached. The police
converged on them, and the dog handlers quieted their animals with a signal.

“Call it in,” Sheriff
Fisker said to a younger deputy standing beside him.

Thane buried his face
in her hair. He couldn’t stop his hands from touching her, or kissing her.

“Kayla, can you give us
a description?” the sheriff asked.

She tried to extract
herself, but he couldn’t let go, and held her tight to his heaving chest. “I
didn’t see him. I tried to draw him out, but he always kept himself covered. I
don’t know how long he was behind me or when I lost him. I’m sorry.”

Chapter Thirty-One

Once the police cleared out, she and Thane stood staring at each other
in the great room. He shifted uncomfortably, digging his hands deep in his jean
pockets, a dead giveaway that he didn’t know what to do.

“I guess I should—” his gaze darted to the floor, and then back at
her. “Go.”

He wanted to go? “Uh—all right.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
He nodded and slowly turned. “Are you going to Zara?”

Craning his head to scan the dark corners of the room, he said, “No.”

She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, but she wasn’t pulling it
off. Not in front of a man like Thane, who could read her so easily. Time to
take a couple steps back, and analyze what the hell was going on. “Have you
been called back to the base?”

“You’re not going to be alone. Cobbs is on his way.”

“Cobbs?” She clutched her hands together to give herself
reinforcement. Why couldn’t she breathe? Normally this is where she shut her
mouth, turned inward—and just accepted what was. Thane headed for the door. “I
don’t understand.”

Halfway there he stopped. “All I see is how devastated you were when
Lapierre said he wasn’t going to be there for you.” His brows shot together.
“You fell apart, like you had no one else. What have we been doing all this
time?”

She marched over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder, but he turned
away from her. “So much has happened in a short period of time. I was afraid
I’d lost you, again. Greg has always been the one constant in my life.” She
paused. “I should have held it together, but I got scared.”

“You didn’t lose me, but I don’t think it’s good for either of us if
I’m here.” He wandered to the back door and checked it to make sure it was
locked, then panned a look out the windows.

“I didn’t lose you? You went to San Diego and never called. You show
up here with divorce papers, but never tell me what happened with Zara. Then
you leave me again. Oh, you left a wonderful note, guaranteed to lay more guilt
at my feet, and reinforce how messed up I am. What I did to Greg was wrong. I
kept him close, kept him dangling all these years.” Thane peered at her from
under his bangs. His jaw cut to sharp angles, and he worried his bottom lip.
The next words out of his mouth made her reel.

“You—” He cleared his throat. “You both said you only made love one
time, but that’s a lie, isn’t it?”

She did her damnedest not to show the shock.

Thane took a deep breath, his gaze glued to hers. “Is he my son,
Kayla?”

“Yes,” she spouted. “Most definitely, yes.” How in God’s name had he
known? This was the only secret she hadn’t shared with Thane. “How—?”

“Because of the way he held you. Looked at you. You’ve been lovers for
years, haven’t you?”

“We—” She blew her breath out, and took a step back to lean against
the couch. “Yes.”

He nodded sharply. “Since I’ve known you?” he asked carefully.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Okay.” He let out a gust of air.

“Do you want to hit something? Blow something up?”

He walked across the distance separating them. “No, Kayla. I just have
to wrap my head around it, but I don’t know how to do that. It doesn’t matter
when you let Lapierre possess you. It only matters that he did. He knows your
touch, your love. He’s had you all this time. You belong to him, not me.”

“I told him to find someone else, and I know he tried over the years.”

“He was already in love, Kayla.” Thane curled her hair around his
finger for a second, losing himself in the task. “It’s no wonder he hung on for
so long.” Thane’s jaw hardened. “You have so much faith in him.”

“Captain, we filled an emptiness inside both of us with companionship,
the need to belong to someone. He didn’t need me, but I needed him.” She bowed
her head as the tightness gathered in her throat. “I had—no one else,” she
breathed out. Tears gathered in her eyes, and she kept her head lowered. She
swiped at her cheeks, and glanced at the wall. “Thank you for coming back
today.”

“Are you guilty of what Daniel accused you of?”

Her head shot up. “Adultery? No, never.” She pressed her lips together,
seeing where this was going. Walking to the coffee table, she picked up the
money he’d left. “Here, I don’t need this.”

“It’s to replace your emer—”

“Take it. I don’t need it.” She thrust it at him. She didn’t need him
either if his trust in her had fractured.

Thane ran a slow hand through his hair. “You need time—”

“Screw you. You stand there and make me feel like I was unfaithful to
you. Greg and I kept each other from the jumping off the ledge. We grew up
together, and leaned on each other through hard times. I’m not going to feel
guilty for that. You, on the other hand, are the father of another woman’s
baby.” She plunked down on the couch, and buried her face in her hands. “You
have responsibilities elsewhere. Walk away, Captain, but I’m not going to be
criticized for loving a man who stood by me. He’s in my heart, and will stay
there for the rest of my life. I’m only guilty of not telling you about our
intimate moments, which is none of your business.”

Thane rounded the couch, and sat down across from her. He shoved the
envelope he’d left earlier, toward her. She watched as he slid it all the way
across the table so the corner hung over the edge. “You didn’t open this.”

She didn’t intend on opening it, only to find a check for support or
another letter saying he’d fulfill his fatherly duties.

“It’s all on the table, right? No more brothers that are going to pop
out of the woodwork?”

She let out a gust of pent-up frustration. They were back at the
starting gates, and there was no way in hell she was going to run through the
emotional gristmill all over again.

“Open it,” he ordered gently.

“I don’t need anything from you. I can support my son by myself.”

A small smile quirked his lips. “I know you can.”

She was hungry past reason, emotionally sapped, and long past the
point of needing sleep. “I’ll let you know when he’s born, and whether or not
he has ten fingers and toes.” A sweeping gust of fear blew through her. She
could do this by herself. She could be a good mother, at least she’d try.
Nothing could make her give up her son, and nothing could change what
circumstance had lain in her lap.

“Open it, Kayla.”

His beautiful eyes penetrated her, and she wondered how hard it would
be to see the same eyes in her son, and not miss Thane. “I’ll pass.” Covering
all the things on the table with both hands, she pushed them back toward him,
keys, money, the envelope and his phone. “I wish you the best, now it’s time to
ship out, SEAL Captain.”

“I won’t leave until you read this.”

She plucked it from his hand, and tore the flap with her fingernail.
Flipping open the single sheet of paper, her eyes grazed the multitude of
numbers, letters and a graph, but it was the bold word in the right hand corner
that stopped her. “Negative.” On the left side of the sheet there were two
names, Thane Herbert Austen and beneath it Zara Hamuudaah. Very slowly, she
raised her gaze to meet his.

“Manchester did it at the NCIS lab,” he said, removing the question
from her tongue. Thane stood and rounded the table, sitting on it, and
maneuvering one leg between hers, then gently ran a hand over his son, but
worried his cheek at the same time. “I still think I should leave. You need
time to figure out what you want.” He brushed her finger with his. “I wanted…”
He cleared his throat and swallowed. “I wanted to be your safe haven. The man
that meant everything to you, but that position is already taken.”

“Don’t make up excuses. I can see you don’t believe this is your son.”
She shook her head. “The irony would be laughable if it wasn’t so damn
heartbreaking.” She leaned back and covered her eyes.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

“For what?” Her synapses were burned to a crisp.

He pulled her hand into his, and traced the curves and valleys. “For
stampeding into your life. Screwing it up. Throwing it off balance.”

“I’ll be fine.” She shifted and pushed herself up. Waddling to the
door, she opened it.

He clasped his hands together and hung his head. “I can’t be second
best in your life, Kayla.”

She glared at him. “You’re still making excuses, and you don’t need
to, Thane.”

 
Thane’s phone rang and he
picked it up. “Why not?” he said, then waited. “Hope everything is all right.”
He disconnected. “Guess I’m staying. Pat says he has a family emergency.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “No, you’re not.”

“Kayla, I can’t leave you here by yourself.”

“No problem.” She charged toward the table, and whisked his keys from
it. “Here.”

Thane shook his head as if disgusted with her.

“Let’s go.” She forked her fingers through his, and pulled until he
got to his feet.

“Where do you want me to take you?” Uncertainty lined his words.

“To see Manchester. I can see you doubt me, so we’re going to put it
to rest right now.” You can leave me once you know the truth.” She wheeled
around, putting both hands on his back, and pushed to get the mountain of a man
in motion. “Move it.”

Thane halted and turned, causing her to stumble into his arms. Leaning
over he kissed her forehead. “Thank you, but we don’t need to go.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Tomorrow morning is early enough. Let’s get some sleep.”

They both paused outside the bedroom door, his attention rooted on the
floor. She watched his lips begin to say something, but it never got air.

She stared at the rafters. “I wasn’t upfront about Greg because I
didn’t want to lose you, but I’ve lost your trust which means the same.”

“Kayla, I do trust you.”

 
“I guess I don’t have a job any
more. I should call Captain Redding and resign properly. Without a job, I have
to return to Canada. If I can sell the condo, I’ll take a few years off so I
can stay at home with him,” she said rubbing her belly. “We’ll work it out.”
For now, all she wanted to do was close her eyes.

She left him standing in the hallway, but as she slipped under the
covers, she felt the bed sink behind her. They might as well have been sleeping
in separate rooms. Without his arms around her, everything was cold.

* * * *

“Well, now we wait I suppose,” Kayla said shielding her eyes from the
sun as they returned to the ranch after taking the test at the NCIS lab.

He held his hand out to her. Thane’s concern had already evaporated
this morning when she woke. He’d brought her coffee in bed, kissed her over and
over again, even when she tried to push him away. That inflated ego-sexy
persona she knew well, was back.

He leaned over, and brushed a hot kiss with far too much meaning on
her lips. “Let’s go for a swim.” Folding his fingers through hers, he pulled
her toward the lake.

Oh no, they weren’t going back there. “I need to call Don. I want to
get the paperwork rolling on the condo. And I need to buy a car.”

He shook his head. “You don’t need a car or a for sale sign, unless
you intend to move in with me.” Drawing her hand to his mouth, he kissed it,
and then leaned in, running his tongue along her bottom lip, making her squeeze
her thighs together. “I don’t need to see the results of the test. I need us.”

“No, you don’t. We are one big mistake. Accept it, like I have.” She
scanned the forest encompassing the driveway. She loved it here, she’d be sad
to leave.

“Look at me, woman,” he said harshly. “If you think I could watch you
walk out of my life, think again. I am the only man you will ever know, in the
biblical sense, for the rest of your life. You can kick, scream and push me
away, but I am never leaving your side. I trust you. I believe in you, and
without you, I’m a mess. I made you promise that even if we fought, we would
love each other, and the first hurdle we came against, I abandoned you. I’m
just as guilty as you are of being human and being insecure. I didn’t do this
test to relieve my mind. I did it for you. By doubting you, I kicked the small
stool I stood on out from under my own feet. I love you so damn much I can’t
think straight. I never could. I never will. That’s your fault, and you’re
going to take care of me, so I don’t fall apart. Got it?”

Her mouth gaped open, and then she snapped it shut.

“That’s right, I’m your responsibility. Now start taking care of me.”
He bounced a kiss off her lips, and gently tugged on her arm.

“Really?” she whispered. Thane’s fingers threaded through her hair,
and he laid one steaming hot kiss on her.

“Really,” he said, beaming at her. “You have some exercises to do, and
then we go swimming.”