Coffee in Common (57 page)

"Huh."
It makes sense, I guess.
"But why can't I get her out of my head? She's just a kid."

"Mark, you've been living like a monk for two years. I know you've not been with a woman, but do you, you know, take care of business other ways?"

"Geez, Lanes. What a question!"

"Okay. Pardon my indelicacy. But the question stands. How long has it been?"

Mark sighed, knowing she wouldn't let it go until she got an answer. "Not since just after…not for a long time."

"Well there you go, dummy. You and Suzy had a great sex life. I know. She used to brag about how often you two did it and how you could…well…you know. Anyway, you've been denied that particular release for a long time, so of course you can't get this new girl, with her smile, out of your head. Your subconscious has associated her with those feelings."

"So?"

"So I think you need to get laid a few times, but since I know you're not about to do that, I suggest Internet porn and your favorite hand lotion."

Greg must have walked into the room just as she said that because Mark heard the surprise in his voice when he asked her what was going on. As he waited for her to shush him, he marveled at how easily such talk came to most women.
Maybe I should branch out and do a
How Women Talk
book?

When her attention returned to him, they spent the better part of an hour talking about the past, about Suzy and his loneliness, and about how the recent episode was tied to all of it.

"Mark?"

"Still here, Laney."

"I just had an idea. Are you going to pursue writing the book on hydroponics?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe. If I can find a new angle."

"Then why don't you get the librarian to help you?"

"I don't think so, Laney. I don't want to…"

"Look, she already knows way more than you do about the subject. And, as you say, she's a just a kid. You could hire her as an assistant. She could probably use the money to help pay off her student loans."

"But…"

"But what? Look, Mark, you can't hide from women for the rest of your life. Working with this girl will be a nice, non-threatening way to ease back into interacting with them again."

"What do you mean? I interact with women."

"Sure you do. You say hello to the checkout girl at the grocery store and you talk to me and Brooke for a minute when you call Greg or Deek. You need regular, ongoing interaction. Actual conversations with real female types and…what's this girl's name, by the way?"

"Shane."

"Well, I think this Shane is just the ticket. Look, go to the library tomorrow. If you get another hard-on when you see her, then forget it. But I'll wager all that's going to happen is she'll be flattered you want her to help with your research."

"I don't know, Laney. I don't think I'm ready to…"

"Mark, I loved Suzy, too. She was one of the nicest people I knew. I was closer to her than I am to my own sister. You know how much we talked, so believe me when I tell you she did not want your life to end with hers. She wasn't afraid of dying, Mark, but she was afraid you'd do exactly what you have been doing for the past two years. Maybe I should have said something to you sooner, but I know she made you promise to find someone else after she was gone. I know she wanted you to live your life with joy and make someone else as happy as you made her. You've shut yourself off from life for too long. And now fate has given you a chance, a nice, safe way to get back into living a life that would make Suzy proud. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if she was sitting up in Heaven arranging the whole thing."

Mark felt an ache in his chest as he remembered Suzy extracting that promise, not once, but at least half a dozen times. He still missed her so much, sometimes he couldn't bear it. But he knew Laney was right. He had to start living again.

"Mark? You still there?"

"Yeah. I'm still here. I was…I was thinking about what you said."

"So?"

"So maybe tomorrow I'll try."

"Good. I'm proud of you. Suzy would be proud of you. Now hang up, 'cause all this talk has made me horny and I'm either going to go jump Greg's bones or pull out the vibrator. Which would you pref…"

Click.

Friday, May 13

5:54 AM

When he awakened, snippets of a dream echoed in Mark's consciousness. He and Suzy were walking across a field of grass. She was saying something, but he could not quite hear her. The recurring dream began just before last Christmas. Even in the few instances where he realized he was dreaming, and tried to focus, he could never quite catch what she was saying.

As he lay in bed, the images fading, his thoughts turned to last night's conversation with Laney. He wondered if she, too, still dreamed of Suzy. Though separated by a thousand miles of highway, the two grew so close over the years, thanks in large part to being cut from the same cloth when it came to things like family, politics, and spirituality. The only really big difference between them was food. Suzy lived for heat and strong flavors while Laney was a steak and potatoes girl. Kindred spirits, he called them once, and soon after they began calling themselves the "Kindred Sisters."

He glanced at the cell phone on the nightstand, tempted to call Greg to find out just how late Laney kept him up last night. That led to memories of how Suzy used to keep him up half the night, how she would refuse to let him sleep until he satisfied her to the point of exhaustion, and he felt the familiar emptiness hollow him out.

"Don't do this to yourself," he said aloud. "Nothing will bring her back. Laney was right…they're all right…you have to move on…you can't hold onto a ghost forever." But as he rolled out of bed, he knew his heart did not want to give up the ghost—her ghost. Still, the life of a recluse was a lonely one, and lately, he could feel the loneliness wearing him down.

His reflection, with its three-day growth of beard, stared back at him from the bathroom mirror and he noticed a few of the whiskers were grey. With a sigh, he pulled off his tee shirt, stepped out of his boxers and into the shower. "Maybe," he said as the stinging-hot water cascaded down his body, "maybe it
is
time."

11:54 AM

"Afflictive," Mark muttered under his breath, "that's what this damn thing is."

Two hours ago, he parked himself in the only spot in the library that kept him reasonably hidden, thanks to some revolving book racks full of science fiction paperbacks, yet afforded a nearly complete view of the front desk. Naturally, the chair was worn and uncomfortable, which only added to the discomfort he felt about what he was here to do.

"Afflictive," he repeated, summing up the whole situation.

Laney's advice consumed him all morning. Denials and rationalizations made the path tortuous, but ultimately, it led where he had not wanted to go since the moment he turned away from Suzy's grave two years ago.

Maybe that's why I keep having that dream. Maybe Suz is trying to tell me to get on with my life, but I won't listen.

He sighed.

Glancing down at the open book he was pretending to read, he realized he could not remember the title. With an uncaring shrug, he lifted his eyes and resumed watching Shane move back and forth behind the front desk, scanning bar codes, answering questions, issuing new library cards; always keeping herself busy.

She was in the back room when he arrived and scoped out the layout, then settled into this torturous butt-bucket. About half-an-hour into his vigil, he decided to donate the cost for some new, comfortable armchairs, but for now, he was glued in position, unable to muster the courage to approach her, afraid of how his body might react and how she might react when he voiced his proposition.

What the hell's wrong with me? I'm acting like a pimple-faced teenager who wants to ask the prom queen for a date. Geez, if Suzy is up there watching, she must think I've turned into a total loser.
Even imagining Suzy telling him to get his ass off the chair and get on with it didn't work.
I need an icebreaker…something to get a conversation going so I'll feel comfortable. But what? I can't just…
Then he realized he was sitting on the answer.

She was arranging the shelf of books being held for patrons when behind her she heard, "Hello, Shane. May I speak with you for a minute?"

It's him!

As she turned, Mark caught the same moment of panic in her eyes he saw Monday, and though it made him feel odd, at least he wasn't getting aroused again.
Looks like Laney was right.

"May I help you?" she asked, praying her face was not betraying the butterflies churning in her stomach.

"I've uh…I've been sitting over by the windows reading for awhile and I wanted to let the library know, well, frankly, the chair was pretty uncomfortable."

"Oh, you must have been sitting on Lord Rich. Why didn't you just move to another chair?"
Thank you, Lord, for not letting me trip over my tongue again.

Oh, crap. I was so focused on getting my ass up here, I didn't prepare for the most obvious question. What can I say. I can't tell her it was the best seat to spy on her. I know…

"Lord Rich? Do all the chairs here have names?"

Mark drank in her smile as she said, "No, just that one. Rich was a 16th century baron who didn't mind getting his hands dirty, so to speak, when it came to torture. He was one of the people who prosecuted Sir Thomas Moore. People have been complaining about that chair for a long time, but the director says there's no money in the budget for new furniture."

"Well, if someone wanted to make a donation so the library could buy some comfortable reading chairs, to whom would one speak?"

She grinned at the formal sentence structure as she looked around to see who might be within earshot, then lowered her voice and said, "The truth is, if you make a donation, odds are they'll use it for something more pressing than a new chair. If you really want the library to get a new chair, my advice is to buy the chair and have it delivered as a gift. Just make sure it's vinyl or leather—something easy to keep clean."

"I see. Thanks." He noticed the panic was gone now, replaced by something else. "You're not going to get in trouble for telling me that, are you?"

"Only if you squeal on me."
Ohmygod, did I really just say 'squeal on me' to him?
She was relieved when he chuckled softly.

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe."

There was a long pause during which Shane held his eyes and suddenly realized he looked as uneasy as she felt inside.
Why would donating a chair make him nervous?

"Look, uh, Shane, I uh…"
Just say it, stupid!
"I was pretty impressed the other day by how much you knew about hydroponics. I mean…well…I guess I just mean I was impressed that someone your age would have read so much about a subject like that and remembered it all."

The butterflies in Shane's stomach shifted into overdrive.
No man except Daddy ever said he was impressed with me!
She felt her face flushing but strangely, she didn't care.
And I'm carrying on an actual conversation with him and haven't stumbled even once!

"Thank you," she said, unconsciously treating him to another smile. "I've always had a good memory and, well…" Her hand swept in an arc between them, indicating the main part of the library. "…books are my life."

That drew from him another soft chuckle.
She's actually pretty easy to talk to. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
"Look, I read
Hydroponics from H
₂
O
and you were right on the money. It really does lay out everything one needs to know. Still, I'm not ready to give up on the subject. I just need a different hook. Do you know what I mean?"

"Sure, you want to find something new about the subject."

"Exactly. But that's going to take a good deal of reading and research, along with some brainstorming. The truth is, brainstorming is almost always more productive when you have someone to bounce ideas off of."

He paused, and took a deep breath, knowing what came next would be hard for him. Shane noticed a sadness come into his eyes as he said, "I used to bounce ideas off of my wife…"

He's married. I should have known.

"…but she's not with me any more and…uh…what I'm trying to say, or ask, really, is…"

Not with him? Okay…so he's divorced.

"…well…you already know so much about hydroponics, and you work in a library, so I'm guessing you're good at doing research, and you're obviously pretty smart, so…well…I was wondering if you'd be interested in helping me with the new book?"

Thanks for reading the beginning of Plaine Shane. The book is available for the Kindle and in print from Amazon or go to http://masonmarshall.com for links to it.

~Dee Mann