Colin Meets an Emu (6 page)

He tried to shrug his arm out of Colin's grip, but to his surprise, found he could not.

This time it was Billy and Jilly, who performed Chief Jellysox's string trick, and as the big cowboy was being led away to the basement by Colin, he was still defiant. “Buffalo Brian won't like this!” he roared.

“Buffalo Brian? Never heard of him,” remarked Colin dismissively.

“You will! You will!” snarled Brucie. “He's our boss. He's real scary. Brainy too.
He
can read and write as well. He'll make you pay for this!”

“Ooh, we just can't wait,” squealed Jilly, who was thrilled by this adventure.

Colin thrust Brucie through the doorway into the basement. Sammy gave a loud, deep, threatening bark, and all four of the prisoners jumped, especially the one with the waste- paper basket stuck on his head.

“Listen, everyone,” called Chief Jellysox. “I suppose I'm in charge really, because I'm a chief and also chief librarian, so I think we must check all the entrances and windows are locked and secure.”

“Already done,” said Billy. “And look! I've found Billy the Kidder's bow and arrows.”

“Good! Good!” approved Chief Jellysox.

“But what we need is a plan,” said Olivia. “I think there are some things we could try. First of all we need to find some things we can use as weapons, although I think we'll probably be O.K.” As she said this, she was looking straight at M, who seemed to nod his head in reply. Quickly she explained her ideas and Colin made sure everyone was in their agreed positions in the library. The bookmark continued to glow warmly.

 

Outside there seemed to be a strange drumming noise.

“Oh no!” exclaimed Chief Jellysox. “Wardrums!” Then he listened again and his face broke into a broad grin. “They can't even get that right. The drummers are telling them to wash their socks, their…ha….ha…ha…stinky socks! Ha, ha, ha! Hee, hee, hee!” Despite the danger they were in his laughter was catching and they all began to giggle.

“Quiet, everyone!” Billy was nearest the front windows. “Something's happening outside.”

Jilly ran to join him and said, “Some men are unloading a large parcel from a wagon. It's very big and very wide and it's wrapped in brown paper.”

“Yeah, with lots of string,” added Billy.

“It's got a big label on it,” said Jilly, “and it's really heavy. They're staggering up the street with it.”

Olivia had joined them at the window. “They've left it outside the front door. The label says ‘Property of the Library'.”

Chief Jellysox and Colin looked at each other and nodded. They understood what was happening.

The chief librarian said, “They must think we're extremely stupid.”

Colin replied, “Yes, to them we're just ignorant Injuns, who've never heard of the Trojan Horse.”

“Is there a horse in that big box or parcel or whatever it is?” asked Squaw Big Gull, who had just returned from the basement, where she had just finished roping all the captured cowboys together, so that they were all sitting back to back on the floor in a tight bunch, unable to move. They were scared stiff of her and also of Sammy, who kept prowling round them with little steps and emitting his frightening impression of a lion's roar.

“No, there isn't a horse in there,” replied Jilly.

Her brother added, “Yeah, we learned about the Trojan Horse at school.”

Colin explained to Squaw Big Gull. “Their plan is quite simple. They think we will drag that big parcel in here, and when we open it the men inside will jump out and overpower us.”

“That's what
they
think,” muttered Olivia.

Colin spoke up. “Well, let's get the ball rolling, or in this case let's get the parcel rolling.”

He flung open the front door, went around to the back of the giant package, and putting his hands under it, tilted it up and over on itself. The bookmark glowed in his pocket. There were bumps and moans from inside the parcel. Once again Colin put his hands under the package and heaved, rolling it forward over and over through the doorway. The bumps, moans and groans from inside the enormous box increased. Quickly Jilly and Olivia closed the front door again.

“Now,” said Colin. “Let's open it.”

“It's upside down,” said Olivia.

“Good!” said the others.

Chief Jellysox stepped forward and with a small, sharp knife expertly cut the strings and slashed the package open right down the middle from top to bottom. Groans could be heard more loudly now and perhaps the sound of someone being sick.

“Come out, all of you!” shouted Colin. “Come out with your hands on your heads.”

M was standing next to the giant cardboard box. There was a mad gleam in his eye. This was another adventure he was thoroughly enjoying.

 

Slowly the first figure emerged, crawling on his hands and knees with his cowboy stetson and Indian feathers jammed over his eyes. Four more followed. Each one tried to put his hands on his head, but they all collapsed groaning on the floor, and the last one was also making a retching noise.

Once again Chief Jellysox and Squaw Big Gull made short work of trussing up the new prisoners. They found the string from the parcel very useful for this.

“Is that all?” asked Olivia. “I mean is there anyone left in the box?”

“I think there is,” answered Colin. He raised his voice. “We know you're in there. Come out
now
with your hands on your head.”

“All right, all right!” grumbled a voice from inside the box. “I'm coming out slowly with my hands on my head.”

Then a large man wearing a very large black stetson suddenly jumped out, holding a six-gun in his right hand. The gun was aimed directly at Colin.

“Don't move!” roared the newcomer. “Nobody messes with Big Buffalo Brian! I've come to capture this here Injun library. Yeah, nobody messes with me, and to prove it I'm gonna shoot one of you. How about you, Shorty?”

The bookmark throbbed. Colin grinned. “You can't be serious,” he said. “Where are your manners? We haven't even been introduced!”

“Don't try to get smart with me, Shorty!” snarled Buffalo Brian.

Colin was still grinning. The bookmark was still glowing.

“I mean it. Take that stupid grin off your face!” snapped the cowboy.

Colin's grin only grew wider. Olivia was horrified. She was about to throw herself in front of Colin to save him, when she saw M. She hesitated. At that moment Buffalo Brian spoke again.

“You asked for it, buddy!” His face was flushed with anger, as he pressed the trigger and there was a loud bang. Immediately he screamed in pain. He was now hopping on one leg. The toe of his right boot had been torn off and his foot was bleeding.

Grimly Colin remarked, “I've heard of it, but never seen it before. You have literally shot yourself in the foot!”

Only Colin, Olivia and the children had seen what really happened. At the crucial moment M's beak had gripped the wrist of Buffalo Brian's gun hand and forced it downwards.

 

Meanwhile Squaw Big Gull was quite concerned for the no longer boastful enemy. Her nursing instincts came into play again, and she was doing her best to stem the flow of blood, having removed Buffalo Brian's boot and one extremely smelly sock.

Suddenly Olivia touched Colin's arm. “Who's that?” she asked. She was the first to notice a tall woman standing at the entrance.

The woman advanced towards them. “Just what the blankety blank is going on?” she asked in a rather harsh, rasping voice. Without waiting for an answer, she strode up to Buffalo Brian and stood over him. With hands on her hips and shaking her head sorrowfully, she continued, “Buffalo Brian, what have you been up to this time? Bullying the Injuns again? Will you never learn?” Then turning to Olivia, Colin and the others, she said, “I do apologise for my husband. He gets a little drunk and then does really silly, really stupid things. By the way, I'm Buffalo Bryony. I run the Wild West Show.”

“Pleased to meet you, ma'am,” said Colin and he introduced all the others to her.

 

Within ten minutes all the prisoners had been released. They received a severe tongue-lashing from Buffalo Bryony, who assured Chief Jellysox that these cowboys and her husband would cause the Redskins and the library no more trouble. She shook hands with Chief Jellysox, Colin and Olivia and hurried her troup of very downcast cowboys into their wagons. Some of them had even said sorry, but Buffalo Brian remained silent and miserable because of his wounded foot. Soon they were gone.

“Hey,” said Jilly. “What a great adventure!”

“Really cool,” agreed Billy, patting Sammy.

The bookmark throbbed in Colin's pocket. “It's time we went home,” he said.

“Oh, by the way, Colin, before I forget to tell you,” remarked Olivia, “I hope you don't mind, but I've invited Abigail to our wedding.”

Colin was puzzled. “Who's Abigail?”

“Squaw Big Gull of course. She's really rather nice. I like her”.

“O.K.” replied Colin. “If you say so, but I hope she doesn't indulge in too much of the fire-water!”

“What do you mean?”

“I've seen Mrs. Biggle in action before. I just hope she doesn't get too drunk!”

Olivia shoved him playfully on the shoulder. Then all of a sudden they were back with Sammy at Colin's house, and, yes, Colin was clutching another souvenir – a black stetson with two feathers stuck in the brim. He wondered though how well the wedding would go, although first he had to introduce Olivia to some other friends of his. But that's another story.

 

 

 

Colin had just placed his special bookmark, which was now glowing a deep red, between pages 380 and 381 of his own special book. M was not with him today. The emu had gone back home to Colin's cousins Billy and Jilly, and was already involved with them in some other adventures. Colin glanced at his two companions. Olivia was clutching his right hand and was holding his little dog Sammy firmly under her other arm. In his left hand Colin was holding a rather large, rather long bag. He looped the handles of the bag over his forearm and, gripping the bookmark safely in his fingers, after checking that it was in the right place, he said, “Let's go.”

Moments later - at least it seemed only a few moments - they found themselves in a wooded glade with sunlight streaming through the leaves of the tall trees all around them. It looked to be a glorious summer's day.

“Where are we?” asked Olivia. Sammy woofed happily, as he already knew.

Colin was grinning mischievously at her. “I told you this was going to be a surprise. I hope, in fact I'm
sure
, you will like it.”

Olivia grinned back at him. “Oh, all right then. Go on being mysterious, if it pleases you so much.”

“Come on,” said Colin. “There are some people I want you to meet.”

Sammy trotted happily in front of them along the woodland path, stopping occasionally to sniff at things and odours that interested him, and looking back at Olivia and Colin strolling arm in arm.

“Wherever we are, this is just perfect,” Olivia said softly. The next moment, however, a distant sharp cry came from somewhere ahead of them in the trees and they heard squabbling voices raised in anger.

“How dare you!” one of the voices yelled. “How dare you! I am a respectable merchant. I pay my taxes
and
I go to church!”

“Ho, ho!” a mocking voice replied. “You may go to church, but my master says you owe him money.”

“What!” The merchant's voice screamed with rage. “Who is he? He is a liar!”

“A liar?” The owner of the mocking voice pretended to sound surprised. “A liar?” it repeated. “Are you saying that a man of the church is a liar? Come, sirrah, that is a vile and wicked accusation. He will not be pleased to hear of it.”

The merchant's voice rang out clearly indicating his disbelief. “A man of the church? I say again, you scoundrels, who is he?”

 

Meanwhile their natural curiosity had drawn Colin and Olivia towards the quarrel, but instinctively they knew to remain hidden in the trees. Sammy too remained quiet.

Another voice, harsher and more guttural, broke into the argument. Go on. Tell ‘im, Grulph. ‘E won't be so defiant then. Har, har!”

“Well?” challenged the merchant.

“Ever heard of Abbot Abbott? His man at St. Weynolf's Church reckons that last Sunday you only gave two groats to the church.” The man called Grulph paused dramatically, as if to let the information sink in. Then he went on, “Of course Abbot Abbott likes it not, when people are mean to the church, because then they are mean to him. He says he is not a wealthy man, yet he has to pay for his clothes, which have to be fine in keeping with his position in the church, he has to pay for his food, which has to be enough to keep him fit and healthful for all his duties and hard work for the church, he needs to pay for all the wine he needs to entertain the important people he meets in his work for the church, and don't forget he has to pay all his men, like the two of us here. So I say again, you owe us, er…I mean,
him
quite a few bags of gold. Isn't that so, Urquart?”