Colorado Heart (9781101612026) (22 page)

TWENTY-FIVE

C
assie going to the Castles' to stay was not something he expected, and once again Jake didn't know what to do. Just when he thought he had it figured out, that he would give her time to get over her mother's death, yet be there for her to lean on, she went and pulled a fast one on him. So just like every other Saturday night, he was at the Heaven's Gate Saloon listening to Ward instead of spending time with Cassie, which is what he'd much rather be doing.

“What you need is a plan,” Ward said. They sat at a table off to the side of the bar. Jake gave Ward a look.

“No, I'm serious,” Ward said. “So far your plan for getting Cassie has consisted of hanging around and hoping there's trouble so you can ride in for the rescue. Not very well thought out, if you ask me.”

“I haven't hoped there was trouble,” Jake groused. “I've been hoping there won't be trouble so she can see that I'm not there just to help her.”

“How's that working out for you so far?” Ward asked.

“What do you mean? I haven't seen her since she went off with the Castles.”

“And why is that?” Ward said. “Because you can't think of a reason to go out there? Isn't the Cattlemen's Association dance next Saturday night? Aren't you the head of the association? Shouldn't you make sure that everything is going as planned? Weren't you going to ask Cassie to the dance?”

“Well I was,” Jake said. He didn't bother responding to the rest of Ward's questions as he had no response. “But that was before.”

“Before her entire world went to hell?”

“Pretty much,” Jake admitted. “Now I'm not so sure it's a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would be disrespectful to her mother's death.”

“Her mother is going to stay dead forever,” Ward said. “But Cassie might not hang around that long.”

“Dang, Ward, it's only been a week.”

“I'm just being realistic here. I'm sorry her mother died, but what's done is done and there's no changing it. Besides, from what I heard from Dan and Randy, it was a good thing that her mother finally died.”

“Well I'll have to agree,” Jake said. “I only saw her the one time, but it wasn't much of an existence. Not that you'll ever catch me admitting it to Cassie.”

“If it's the thing that's in her past that's holding you back, then you need to get over it and you need to help her get over it too.”

“Once I figure out what you said, I'll think on it,” Jake said.

“You might not know what I said but you know what I meant,” Ward growled.

“I know what you mean, Ward. The problem is how do I get Cassie to accept it?”

“You show her that the future is going to be a lot better than the past,” Ward replied. “I watched you for three years with Leah. You had no problem telling her the way things should be.”

“And she had no problem telling me to go pound sand,” Jake replied.

“Yet you hung in there.”

“And it turned out she was right. But what if Cassie tells me to go away? She's not as kind as Leah. And she's a might more stubborn, if that's possible. Once she makes her mind up . . .” Jake's voice trailed off. He didn't want to think about the alternative to life without Cassie.

“So,” Ward said. “Convince her to see things your way.”

“And how exactly do I do that?”

“Tell her how you feel.”

“That's something I'm trying to figure out for myself.”

“Talk about stubborn,” Ward said. “You could win a prize.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You're in love with Cassie Parker,” Ward said and he sat back to wait for a reaction.

Jake didn't move. He had feelings for Cassie, but love? Love was something he scoffed at when Leah told him she didn't love him. It was something Leah was so certain about when she decided to forgive Cade.

Was love not being able to live without someone? The panicked thought that if you lost them your life would be incomplete? The idea that you wanted to do whatever it took to make them happy, that you would do anything in the world to make sure they were happy.

“You know something, Ward?” Jake said. “I reckon I am in love with Cassie Parker.”

“So, what you going to do about it?” Ward asked.

“Go tell her.”

“That's my boy,” Ward said with a self-satisfied grin. “Now you have a plan.”

*   *   *

“Why hello, Jake, what brings you out our way?” Laurie said as she opened the door.

Cassie scrunched down in her overstuffed armchair at the mention of Jake's name. She was in the Castles' very comfortable parlor, reading a book. Eden sat in the chair opposite her, working on a piece of needlepoint. Hannah was trying to put a doll's dress on one of two black and white puppies that tumbled on the rug between them. While Cassie was trying to become invisible, Eden put her sewing aside and looked to the hallway where the deep rumbling of Jake's voice could be heard.

“I just came to make sure everything was ready for the dance next Saturday night,” Jake said. “And thought I might pay Cassie a visit if she's available.”

“She's in the parlor with Eden,” Laurie said. “Can I get you something?”

“No thanks,” Jake said. “Fu keeps me well fed.”

Eden grinned at her and Cassie made a face. There was no place for her to escape. Her week of hiding was over. She should have known it was too good to last. But she also had to admit to herself that she was glad Jake was here. She had spent the better part of a week wondering if he was going to show up, and the rest of the time torn between what she would do if he did and what she would do if he didn't. And now that he was here, Cassie had no idea what to do or say.

“How nice to see you, Jake,” Eden said.

“Eden,” Jake said. He crouched down. “Hi, Hannah.” The little girl giggled. Finally he turned to her. “Hello, Cassie.”

She'd missed him. The realization hit her in the stomach like a punch. The strong jaw, the stormy eyes and the way he looked at her. There was no denying that she missed having him around. “Hi, Jake.”

“I brought you some candy,” he said and handed her a sack. Hannah instantly snapped to attention, her bright blue eyes wide as she looked at the bag.

“You keep bringing me candy, Jake.” She opened it up. It looked like there was at least one of everything from the Swansons' store.

“And you keep eating it.”

“Don't want it to go to waste,” Cassie said. She offered the bag to Hannah, who pulled out a peppermint stick, and then to Eden, who pulled out a piece of hard candy.

“No, we wouldn't want that,” Jake said with a grin. “Want to go for a ride? I brought Puck over. I thought you might miss him.”

“I do miss Puck,” Cassie said. “You didn't happen to bring Suzie too, did you?”

“Nope. Didn't want to press my luck.”

Eden giggled.

“Would you like to come along?” Jake asked her.

“Oh no, I have things to do,” Eden said. “I need to finish up my dress for the dance.”

The dance . . . Eden and Laurie had been talking about the dance all week and they expected Cassie to go. But how could she? She was a beggar in hand-me-down clothes, and it was just too soon after her mother's death.

Jake knelt down to pet the puppies. “I heard you got two of them,” he said as Lucky and Lucy alternated between wiggling and wagging. “Do they chew things up as much as my Josie? I swear she'd eat the house if we'd let her.” Hannah laughed at the thought of a puppy eating a house. Cassie couldn't help but smile as she watched him. He was so gentle with Hannah and the puppies, so loving. He would be a wonderful father. She imagined a little boy with hair as pale as the sun, then she shook her head. Why was she thinking about Jake and children together?

“We keep them well supplied with bones,” Eden said. “And they have each other to chew on when the bones are gone.”

“That might make the difference,” Jake said. “Maybe I ought to look for a friend for Josie to play with. I'll give it a thought when we take the cattle to market.”

“Hannah, we should take the puppies out before they wet the rug,” Eden said. “Enjoy your ride.” The puppies followed her halting step as she and Hannah went to the back of the house.

“Shall we go?” Jake turned to Cassie and offered her his arm. She rolled her eyes at his gallantry, but she took it anyway and he escorted her to the front door.

It
was
good to see Puck. Cassie hadn't realized how much she missed him, along with Suzie and Libby and Rosa and Manuel. And her mother. The mother she'd lost two years ago. The vibrant, supportive mother.

She'd come to the Castles' because she wanted to escape her life. Now that she saw Puck, she realized that her life, as it was, really wasn't that bad. And her mother wouldn't suffer anymore, even if her death was tragic. She rubbed her horse behind his left ear in greeting and he nibbled at her pocket where she'd stuffed the bag of candy.

“Give him a piece of peppermint,” Jake said. “He'll love it.”

“You think?”

“Try it and see.” She offered the treat to Puck, who lipped it delicately from her palm. Bright swung his head up and down. “Hey, don't leave him out,” Jake said, and with a laugh Cassie gave the other horse a piece too. Suddenly the day seemed fairer, brighter and happier as Jake stood by her side and they fussed over the horses.

“It's a pretty day,” Jake said.

“Yes it is,” Cassie replied.

“Want some help?”

“Sure.” Cassie put her foot in his hand and he boosted her into the saddle.

“I thought we'd ride around the lake,” Jake said, and they took off at a slow canter to the lake that was the centerpiece of the Castles' valley. Jake didn't say anything and Cassie missed the playful banter they usually shared.

When they reached the far side of the lake, Jake stopped Bright and pointed. Off in the distance Cassie saw a line of elk. They watched as they crossed the valley and disappeared back into the mountains. Jake continued on and Cassie followed until they came to an outcropping of large flat boulders gathered on the lakeshore. He stopped Bright and reached up to help her down.

“Let's talk,” he said.

Cassie walked out onto a boulder that lay half in the water and sat down. She startled a peeper and it jumped into the water with a quick splash. A mother duck and her line of ducklings quack-quacked, and they all took off to investigate the splash. Cassie watched them with a bemused expression on her face. She was curious what Jake had to say.

The problem was, he wasn't saying anything. He was just sitting on the boulder tossing pebbles into the water, which had the mother duck swimming in circles.

“You got something on your mind, Jake? Or did you bring me out here to watch you torture that poor duck.”

“I've got something on my mind,” Jake confessed. “It's you.”

“Me?”

“You aren't going to make this easy, are you?”

“Hey, I'm just sitting here,” Cassie said. “You're the one who wanted to talk.”

Jake took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he sat his hat aside. “May I?” he asked and took her hand. His was twice the size of hers. She knew he could crush it if he wanted to, but he held it like it was one of Laurie's china teacups. “I have a confession to make,” he said, and his eyes bore into hers. They were as clear a gray as she'd ever seen them, calm instead of stormy. Why did she always think about the sky when she looked at his eyes?

“I'm in love with you, Cassie Parker.”

“Ah . . . oh . . .” Cassie began, but Jake put his finger to her lips.

“I don't want you to say anything today. I know you've been through a lot lately and it's not fair that I'm telling you this so soon after you lost your mother, but, dang it, Cassie, you're all I think about, since the moment I met you on the trail that night.” He turned her hand over so that her palm was up and he rubbed his thumb across it as he looked at her hand.

“I know you lost your home and your family. I know you may be thinking about a fresh start someplace else,” he said, and then he turned his eyes upon her once more and Cassie saw the storm gathering in them. “I just want to let you know that you will always have a home right here.” He took her hand and put it over his heart. He held it there for a moment, long enough for Cassie to feel it pounding in his chest, long enough for her to see that love shining for her. For her. “Whenever you are ready for it, Cassie. I'll wait as long as it takes.”

Cassie was too overwhelmed to speak. She didn't know what she had done to deserve his love. He was such a good man, a strong man, a kind man, and he loved her of all people. He deserved better. He deserved someone who was whole and not damaged like her.