Come Alive (15 page)

“That’s not an answer.”

He only grunted.

“Why is it all right for you to hit on me and
not him?”

“Damn it, Olivia,” he hissed. “Don’t provoke me.
It’s inappropriate for me to answer that.”

I reeled back marginally, and he reacted instantly,
pulling me back by my upper arm. A familiar thrumming ignited throughout my
body, and I gasped softly.

“Is there a problem here?” Steve asked from
above, glowering at David’s hand on my bicep. He loosened his grip slightly and
then dropped his hand.

“No, it’s fine,” I answered hastily.

Their eyes locked on each other, and I sensed David’s
breathing deepen beside me. Steve looked between us, wariness etched in his
fine features. I dismissed him with a thank you. I had experienced David when
he was cross, and I didn’t want to be the cause of any problems.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling on his collar and glaring
after Steve. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“You didn’t,” I said softly. “You’re upset. Does
it have to do with Maria?”

He looked confused. “What?”

“You seemed angry on the phone.”

“Irritated is more like it.”

“Did she stand you up?”

He snorted. “No. For some unknown reason, she
was upset that I didn’t invite her. But that’s not what is bothering me.”

“What then?”

“I don’t really feel comfortable talking about
it.”

It was his turn to brush me off, but I didn’t
intend to let him. Unfortunately, Gretchen picked that moment to drop onto the
bench across from us.

“Hey,” she said with a stretched smile.

“Hi,” I said cautiously.

“Who’s the
hottie
that
won’t stop staring at you?”

“Who?”

She indicated across the bar.

“Oh. That’s Steve.”

“Steve,” David muttered to himself, rubbing his
eyes with his thumb and index finger.

“He is s-e-x-y. But you probably don’t think so,
do you?” she asked me.

I shifted and gave her a look.

“
Liv
never did go for
the blonds,” Gretchen explained to David. “But that’s okay, more for me.”

“You smell like tequila,” I told her.

“I took a couple shots.” She leaned forward and
put a finger over her lips. “
Shh
. Don’t
tell
Greg.”

“Aren’t you working?”

“No, no . . . I’m just here to party.”

“Okay,” I said, stifling a laugh.

“I’m going to talk to Steve.”

“Steve? What about Greg?” I asked.

“Oh, he won’t care,” she said, waving her hand
at me. “Look but don’t touch, right?” she shouted and bolted upright. She
swayed slightly and steadied herself on David’s shoulder. “Be back in a
minute.”

I searched the room for Greg until I noticed
that David was staring at me. He shook his head and swiped a hand over his
face. “I’ll be a saint if I get through this night,” he muttered.

“You’re upset.”

“
You
are who’s pissing me off,” he said suddenly. “Not Maria. You.”

“Why?” I asked, trying to pinpoint anything in
particular I might have done.

“You show up here, looking like that . .
. .”

“Like what?” I asked, looking down at the
jumpsuit.

“I want to rip that fucking thing off you.”

I sucked in a breath and flushed. His brazenness
fired a sharp thrill through me. “David,” I exhaled in admonishment.

“Fuck.” He sat forward abruptly, scrubbed his
face with both hands and looked over at me. “I should go.”

“You’re leaving?” I asked as he stood.

“Hey,
Liv
, over here!”
Gretchen called, waving me over.

I lifted a finger in her direction.

She said something to Steve and hurried over. “We’re
all going upstairs to see the view from one of the rooms,” she told us. “You
can come too, David,” she added with a smirk.

I glanced at him. “David was just leaving,
actually.”

“Great,” she said, shrugging. “Let’s go.”

“Wait.” David caught my forearm gently. “Is he
going?”

Gretchen and I looked in the direction he had
jutted his chin.

“Who, Steve?” she asked. “Why, yes, it’s his
room.” She grinned.

David blinked slowly and released my arm. With
another glance at Steve, he said, “I’ll take you to the roof.”

“What about us?” Gretchen asked.

“You, as in, all of you.”

“Great,” she squealed and ran off.

“Mercurial much?” I muttered to myself as I
trailed him out of the lounge.

David and I piled into one elevator with
Gretchen’s co-workers while she hung back to wait for Steve. The girls had been
rowdy in the elevator bank, but now they were silent.

Perfume filled the tiny space, and one girl
flipped hair over her shoulder. “You’re David Dylan, right?”

He nodded.

“The place looks so good. I was just telling my
friend that it’s
gonna
be
the
hottest hotel in Chicago.”

I was about to smirk when he gave her a prize
grin. “What about the country?” he asked.

She giggled nervously. “That too.” There was
whispering from the back of the elevator.

I looked away and crossed my arms. The whispers
stopped when I felt David clear some hair from my neck. I whipped my eyes back
to him, and he smiled barely. Just the ghost of his reassuring touch sent
chills over my skin. The elevator dinged, and everyone waited as we held each
other’s gaze.

I blinked and stepped out when someone cleared
her throat. The girls tore across the hall to the penthouse suite. Despite
their excitement, David was calm as he extracted the key from his pocket and
opened the door. I glanced up and around the
dimly-lit
,
romantic space. When I looked back, he and I were alone in the foyer.

“Flirt,” I accused.

“You know I don’t give a fuck about them,” he replied
without missing a beat, his voice low with bass.

I bit the inside of my lip. “I thought you were
leaving.”

“Not while
Steve
is around.”

There was a thundering knock on the door behind
us. Another group flew by me when David let them in, and Gretchen grabbed my
hand. “This is bananas,” she said. My eyes scanned the expansive suite quickly as
I let her drag me onto the roof. Outside, an elongated swimming pool ran the
length of the deck, glowing turquoise on the otherwise dark roof. Glass
partitions edged the perimeter, allowing for an unobstructed panoramic view.

“Look,” someone called, “you can swim out over
the city!”

Gretchen dropped my hand and rushed off, giving
me a chance to admire my surroundings. What I’d seen with David on our previous
trip to the roof was nothing compared to now. The pool jutted off the side of
the building, hovering over the world below. As if you were floating. The
opposite end of the pool showcased the first floor of the suite.

“Beer?” David asked from next to me.

“Where’d you get that?”

He leaned in. “My secret.” He twisted off the
cap and handed it to me before taking a swig from his own bottle. “Cheers.”

“Thanks,” I said hesitantly, trying to read his fluctuating
mood.

We slowly followed the edge of the pool toward
the group, as if we didn’t actually want to get there. He looked into his beer
bottle. “My family . . . They really liked you.
Jessa
too. She says you have an amazing energy or something.”

“I liked her also. A lot. Too much.”

“And that means . .
. ?
”

I cleared some hair from my shoulder. One of the
girls squealed ahead of us. “Just that I had a strange urge to tell her all my
secrets.”

“Secrets, huh?”

I nodded fractionally.

“That girl has a way of getting people to open
up.”

“Must run in the family.” I cursed silently,
knowing the comment hedged dangerous territory.

He didn’t respond right away, but eventually
asked, “Do you feel like I’ve opened you up?”

“Ah, well . . . Maybe a little,” I said,
embarrassed.

“I only wish it were more,” he said casually.
Even in the dark I could feel him peering down at me, trying to see me clearer,
the way he sometimes did.

Without even looking at him, I said, “That’s the
problem.”

“What?”

“The way you look at me. The way I look at you.
It gives too much away. That’s what your sister told me. For Christ’s sake,” I
said, turning to face him. “She thought we were dating.”

“So I can’t look at you anymore?”

“Just don’t like at me
like that
.”

“Like what exactly?”

“She said . . .” I paused, not sure I should
proceed. “She said she’d never seen you look at anyone the way you look at me.”

He took an audible breath but didn’t respond. We
stood back from the crowd, watching them in silence.

“Are you really going to stop seeing
Dani
?”

He tilted his eyes upward to the sky and groaned.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. But yes.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I do want you to be happy,
I just . . .” I bit my lip to keep the words from coming out. “You know.”

“No, I don’t know,” he clipped. “I didn’t do it
for you anyway.”

“I know.”

“This is too much, Olivia, you know that?”

“What is?” I asked, taken aback.

He shoved a hand through his hair. “Nothing. Just
never mind.” With one last look, he turned and walked away.

I fought with myself, angry that I was doing
this to him, to all of us. I wanted to go after him and make things better, but
his departure had an air of finality. Instead, I took the last few steps to
where everyone else had congregated. Steve smiled shyly at me and commented on
how inspiring the skyline could be. I looked across the roof at David’s shadowy
figure. He faced Lake Michigan while taking a long pull from his beer bottle.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

I looked back at Steve. “No, just an
overprotective friend.”

“Oh,” he exhaled, looking relieved. “I’m glad. I
know this is forward, but I was hoping you might like to go out sometime.”

“I’m married, Steve.”

“Oh, geez. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“It’s all right. My husband isn’t here tonight,”
I said with a friendly smile. “Anyway, where did you say you work?”

He stepped backward. “Actually, I think I might go
get a refill.”

“There might be drinks up here,” I said, showing
him my beer.

“
Er
, I . . .” His
sentence trailed off as he mumbled something and then fled.

“Oh, okay. Goodnight!” I called after him. I
laughed at the unfailing powers of a wedding ring.
Well, almost
, I thought, and my laugh vanished.

I peered down at my hand, wondering pointlessly
how things might be different if the ring weren’t there. I slipped it off and studied
my hand without it, expecting to feel different somehow.

“Where’d Steve go?” Gretchen demanded, and I
furtively slipped the ring back into place.

“He left.” I frowned. “Who cares though? The
question is, where’s Greg?”

“That
is
a good question, smarty-pants. I should go find him,” she slurred, pulling out
her cell phone. “Yeah, he texted me like five times.” She held the phone up
inches from my face. “See?” I nodded, and she poked the girl next to her. “I’ve
seen enough, let’s go get another drink.”

“And look for Greg,” I reminded her.

“Yep. Let’s go.”

The girl announced that they were leaving.
Gretchen gestured for me to follow, and I glanced back at David. The group retreated
as a unit with Gretchen leading the way.

“Come
on
,
Liv
,” she called over her shoulder. “It’s time to
go
.”

“Time to go,” I repeated quietly to myself.
Go, Olivia . .
. .
Go.

CHAPTER 14

THERE
WAS A PART OF ME that wished David would tell me he was done and put an end to this.
Then I wouldn’t have to ride this rollercoaster of emotions every day. Despite
what he might have thought, none of it was a game to me. I felt overwhelming
guilt that I was hurting both Bill and David. That I was standing in the way of
both their versions of home.

Why did I keep returning to this ridiculous
concept of home? Is it not enough to have love and be happy? At thirteen years old,
my home had broken in half in one fell swoop, and I’d never found that sense of
belonging, that sense of security again. What was it about David that had me
longing for that?

Bill was the only future I had ever known. He
was supposed to be my rock, my love,
my
life. I
wondered if knowing he was supposed to be all those things was still enough.
Would I have eventually realized my doubts even if David hadn’t come along?

Do I have
doubts?

I blinked from my daze to find I was glued to
the same spot. The voices in the penthouse suite faded away. I looked across
the roof at David’s almost invisible silhouette. The ache to be next to him was
deep.
To feel his hardness through the softness of his
cashmere sweater, to rescue him from disappearing into the black horizon.

I clenched my hand around the beer bottle,
fighting against what threatened to devour me. Did I even have a choice? It
felt so much bigger than me, this thing. I wanted to bask in his warmth, feel
his mouth on my neck; I wanted to see him gaze at me again like I was the only girl
he couldn’t resist.
Because he was that person for me.
Of all the men I’d dated, and, ashamedly, that included Bill, David was the one
who I felt in my core, as though I only existed as an extension of him. I wanted
to fall just so he could catch me.

I
set my beer down and walked to the edge purposefully. With each click of my
heel, my mind chanted
mistake, mistake,
mistake
, but my heart . .
. .

He
stood unresponsive with his back to me and his hands in his pockets. I stopped
and took a deep breath before slipping my arms around his stomach. My cheek pressed
against his back.

He
inhaled sharply, but after a second, said, “Don’t.”

“I
can’t not,” I whispered back.

He
put his hands over mine and squeezed them hard before removing them. I didn’t
fight him, though I wanted to. After a long moment, I backed away. My hand
curled into a fist over my thumping heart. I longed for him with my whole being;
I had never wanted anything more than to feel him now. But it couldn’t be.
There was a wall between us. I told myself over and over that it couldn’t be,
that it was a mistake, that the day would come when not being able to touch him
wouldn’t hurt
so bad
. .
. .

I
turned and left, focusing on anything but the sting in my chest. My whole body flinched
when he hurled an angry, thunderous curse into the night; but I didn’t turn
around. At the exit, my hand gripped the handle. I rested my forehead against the
door and breathed. My body was turning against me, the longing both physical
and painful. In that moment, I wanted to give it all up just to feel him one
more time.

I
jerked away from the door when swift footsteps echoed behind me. My chest
constricted. It was seconds before I felt that familiar heat on my back. I
swallowed dryly, staring at the handle and willing my feet to walk out the door.
David’s arm curled around me, and his hand rested on the lock. I closed my
eyes. The deadbolt slid into place with a deafening click.

“Turn,”
he demanded. “Look at me.”

My
body obeyed
on its own,
as did my eyes. He slipped cold
hands underneath my hair and grasped the nape of my neck.
You are my escape,
I said without words.
And everything will be all right
. In his arms, nothing could touch
me; not fear, pain, monsters under the bed, attackers in the alley, the
judgments of others.

He
found my impatient, wet lips with his and calmed them with a sweet,
close-mouthed kiss. I felt his tongue, coaxing my lips open gently. I responded
slowly but desperately, snaking my arms around his back and clutching him close
as though he might disintegrate if I didn’t. My weight sank against him, and he
sucked air sharply from my parted lips.

“Oh,
God,” he said into my mouth. “I want you so fucking bad. I never stopped
wanting you.”

“Don’t
make me go,” I pleaded quietly.

“How
could I ever make you go?” His arms tightened around me, and our lips joined
with the heat of reunited lovers. Lovers who had just overcome their agonizing,
crawling enemy: time.

His
hand slid up my back and tangled in my hair, pulling slightly to expose my
neck. He licked and then kissed a spot under my ear, and I fell limp against
him. Every part of his body was hard, from the arms that held me, to the abs
that supported me, to the erection that begged me. I moved my hips against him,
encouraged by the small groans that escaped the back of his throat.

With
one hand still in my hair, the other dropped to my ass and squeezed me against
him. His lips returned to mine, and he kissed me like he owned me. Passion and
fire exploded between us with only thin layers of clothing between us.

He
was lacing his hand with mine, and tearing himself away to lead me from the
exit. The dark master bedroom was a curved stretch of seamless windows. He
placed me in front of them, with the cityscape at my back.

“Take
that off before I rip it off,” he instructed and backed away to watch.

After reaching behind to lower my zipper, I
stepped out of my shoes and onto the cold marble floor. The jumpsuit peeled
from my body like I was shedding a second skin. I wavered in my black strapless
bra and matching thong, awaiting instruction.

“Christ.” There was anguish in his voice as he
reached and turned me around. He ran a hand down the length of my spine.
“You’re nothing,” he said sadly.

I turned my head over my shoulder and responded
urgently, “I’m nothing without you.”

He kissed my palms reverently and then the
insides of my wrists. His lips moved up my left arm and over my shoulder,
moaning my name softly against my skin. “I never stopped thinking of you,” he said
into the curve of my neck. “My beautiful girl. I’ve dreamed of having you again
over and over.”

His words were bittersweet pangs in my heart. My
fingers fumbled with his button until it gave. When I nudged my head under his
clothing to kiss his stomach, he squeezed my shoulders and muttered. When he pulled
his sweater off, I admired him in his undershirt and boxer briefs; all man
before me, stripped down to the basics.

He extended a hand to me, and I took it without hesitation.
My legs wrapped around him when he lifted me. Yanking back the covers, he placed
me atop buttery sheets against a mountain of pillows. I stayed secured to him as
he ran a firm hand along my leg, fueling the ache. We stared at each other, me communicating
with my eyes what I couldn’t with my words.

“You know why I get that way, don’t you?” he
asked suddenly. “It’s torture to be next to you and not be able to even touch
you. I can’t stay away from you, and I can’t have you.”

I nodded, hearing his words but nearly blind
with lust. “Take this off,” I commanded, fisting his shirt.

He stood and tugged at the collar to yank it
over his head. His boxer briefs were next. I bit my lip at how hard he was,
solid and real,
finally so real,
and
me, trembling with anticipation for him to relieve the heavy emptiness between
my legs.

He was back on the bed, and I pulled at the ends
of his velvety hair so he would settle his weight on me. His long body felt
right covering mine.

I arched into him while his deft fingers
released the clasp of my bra. His immense hand skated up my stomach. His
fingers were coarse against my nipples, which tightened as he pinched them. With
a hand on one breast, he lowered his head to take the other in his mouth. I
gasped, my breast swelling into his open mouth as he swirled his tongue around
it.

The longing between my legs tormented me,
impatient to be acknowledged. He explored me leisurely though, with his lips
and his hands, revering each curve of my body. In some spots he grasped me urgently,
and in others, his touch was so gentle that I was sure I’d imagined it. I kept
my hands tangled in his hair for fear that I’d wake up from this dream
empty-handed.

“Olivia,” he moaned into the space between my
breasts. Goose bumps lighted across my skin as his hand slipped into my
panties. “Christ,” he bit out. His other hand grabbed mine. “Feel how fucking wet
you are,” he demanded, pushing my hand between my legs. He guided our fingers
into me.

“David,” I begged.

“That’s for me, baby. Does he get you dripping
like this?”

I bit my lip and shook my head, my body tensing
with arousal.

He released my hand, but his fingers continued sliding
in and out of me. “Does he make you come?” he asked, his face hovering over
mine.

I shook my head again.

He growled from his chest. “I’m still the only
one. That part of you is mine.” He withdrew his hand, and I lifted my hips as
he removed my panties with unnecessary concentration.

“David,” I begged again.

He kissed the inside of my knee. “What, baby?”

“I’m ready. Now.”

“You are more than ready,” he answered. The
panties dropped, and he climbed back over me. He locked his lips on mine and
made love to my mouth, softly and sweetly. “I was rough with you last time.”
His words were careful, like his kisses and caresses. “Now that I have you
again, I’ll fuck you slow so I can savor every second of it.”

I gasped, growing even wetter from his words but
also with frustration that he wasn’t already inside me. My frustration grew when
he stood up. I rose onto my knees and watched him pluck his pants from the
floor, raiding the pockets.

I waited at the edge of the bed. We were playing
with fire, and what scared me most was that I was lucid enough to stop it. But
all I wanted was to cover myself in his broad, defined shoulders and spend our
precious moments nestled in his smattering of chest hair.

I reached out for him. There was a crinkle of
foil, and he produced a condom. “I want to feel you, David, all of you, everything
single thing,” I ranted as he rolled it over his cock.

“You will, baby, you will.
In
time.
When you’re mine.” I bit my bottom lip eagerly and in that moment,
I believed him. I never removed my eyes from him, scared even to blink and miss
a millisecond of his beauty.

He crawled over me, forcing me onto my back. He
placed his lips on mine and then trailed kisses down my neck as his hips found
their place between my legs. My hands rejoiced over the hot skin of his hard,
muscled back. He cupped my jaw and looked down on me. “Are you sure about
this?” he asked with surprising tenderness.

I’d wanted to be this close to him for so long. The
thought of losing him now chilled me to the bone, triggering a tremble through
my body. “I’ve been empty since I left you,” I whispered to him. “I need this
– I need you, one last time.”

“But I need more.” Unable to comfort him with
words, I reached between us. “I need more,” he repeated. His low whisper
rumbled into a groan when I touched him, and he grew stiffer in my hand.

He reached down too and wrapped his hand around
mine. We both watched our hands rub the crown of his cock against my opening. “Please,
I’m so ready,” I insisted, because my folds were quivering with anticipation. I
flexed my hand around him, urging him in.

He looked back at me. “I like you slow,” he
said. “I can see on your face how badly you want it.”

“I want it,” I breathed, “bad.”

My body jolted when he plunged into me, burying
himself
to the base. I exhaled with a loud moan. He was so
swollen and hard inside of me, the thought alone coiled my insides. His thrusts
began short, like he wanted deeper than our bodies would allow. He gathered me
in his arms and flipped us over, keeping me against him. One hand splayed against
my lower back, and the other higher, pushing my compliant breasts against the
hard surface of his chest.

I straightened up to deepen the angle and stilled,
savoring the feeling of having him wholly inside me. I lifted and sank back
onto him while bracing myself on his abs. I felt them flex as he sat up and secured
my body in his brawny arms.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, clearing hair
from my face. I could see into him, read the adoration, the desire, the hurt in
his eyes.

“It’s you,” I breathed. “You’re what I need,
David. Make me whole again.”

He groaned and covered the sides of my face with
his big hands. My mouth parted, and I sucked in a breath as I began to rock onto
him. He touched the tip of his nose to mine, and I transferred every heartbeat
from my mouth to his while he lapped them up greedily.