Come Back To Me (9 page)

Edham separated the marbles of many colors from the majority of the pile, the solid-colored marbles.

Beau whispered to Edham, “There are certain marbles that don’t belong to any group. They’re not noticeably big or small, not solid colors, not easily categorized, but don’t cast them aside. Those marbles are the most special ones.” He knew Edham did not understand, so instead he picked up the marbles that had been cast aside and held them close to his chest. “Special,” he said and smiled. He continued, more for his own benefit than for Edham’s, “They’re just finding their way in a big marble world, trying to blend in. It takes a special person to take those marbles as his own. It takes courage and strength to be the one to protect those marbles.”

Edham reached for the marbles.

Zeid guffawed.

Abdul Hadi sneered at the boy and turned his back.

Suha yanked Zeid’s arm and chided him in her native tongue.

Beau had learned enough of the language to understand the mild threat she’d made, “Quiet down before your mother pays the price for your behavior.”

Zeid stewed in silence, eyeing Abdul Hadi with a vengeance and looking at Suha as if she were the devil.

Samira looked like a troubled teen caught between a peer and a parent, afraid to move in either direction. Beau stood next to her and motioned for her to follow him. She walked shyly behind him. Once outside the tent, she inhaled deeply.

“This is difficult,” she said with tentative precision.

Beau nodded.

They sat in silence just outside their makeshift home. Samira stared at the ground, her shoulders carrying years of fear and pain. Her hands lay in her lap, one upon the other.

“Scared?” he knew she understood the words he spoke, fear had been one of the easiest words to communicate. Suha had schooled Samira well. She understood enough of the English language to make sense of their brief conversations.

Samira looked up, her dark eyes held the answer to his question.

Beau leaned his head back against the hard dune.

Suddenly Abdul Hadi’s voice boomed through the silence. He exited the tent in a rush of insistence. Suha followed. Samira was on her feet and hurrying inside before Beau registered Zeid’s wail.

Inside the dwelling, Zeid sobbed, angrily pushing his mother’s arms away and throwing looks of spears toward Abdul Hadi. Suha mumbled under her breath. Beau instinctively grabbed Zeid’s flailing arm and pulled it away from its target—Samira’s body.

“What are you doing?” he commanded. “You don’t hit your mother.”

“Zeid!” Samira snapped, then continued in her language.

Zeid tugged against Beau’s steadfast grip. “What’s going on?” he asked Suha.

“Zeid called Abdul Hadi a traitor.”

Abdul Hadi breathed heavily in the entryway, breathing in short, fast breaths, clouded by anger.

Beau released Zeid’s hand, standing between him and his mother. “Suha, tell Zeid to calm down.”

Suha sighed, as if she had no inclination to do so.

“Suha! You cannot let him do this.”

“The child is angry. He is his father,” she said with disgust.

Beau stared her down. “He’s scared. He does what he knows.”

“He knows hatred,” Abdul Hadi said.

“Then teach him otherwise,” Beau’s voice was firm. He turned to Zeid, and spoke with jilted foreign words, “Hate will kill. Let it go.”

Zeid spat in his direction. Edham gasped, huddling fearfully next to Athra on their bedroll.

“There is no hope for this one,” Suha said.

Beau shook his head. “There’s always hope.” He walked out of the fury-filled dwelling and into the heat of sun, which instantly dried the sweat from his forehead. He had become used to the treacherous heat of the desert—the feeling that a hairdryer was on his skin, full blast, at all times, the way the dry, hot air saturated his mouth when he spoke. Abdul Hadi’s hand on his shoulder startled him.

“You are right,” Abdul Hadi said. “There is always hope.” He handed him a bottle of water. “The boy’s hate, that’s what makes this war.”

Beau had been sent to document the changes in the Iraqi families since the inception of the war. He wondered, now, if perhaps most of those changes were invisible to the eye of the camera. He bowed his head and found himself wanting to apologize for all that the Americans had done, the hurt they’d caused, no matter what the catalyst had been. Instead, he simply nodded.

“You cannot control where you are born, or whom you are born to,” Abdul Hadi continued, “Iraq or America.” He spoke carefully, with practiced English, taking Beau by surprise. “We spend our lives making up for something, no? Something we did, maybe? Something our parents did?” he shrugged.

Chapter Ten

“I think she’s made progress,” Alice said across the bar of the crowded restaurant.

“I feel so guilty. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her.” Kevin eyed a tall brunette across the bar. He and Alice had been meeting regularly since shortly after Beau had died, filling the gap that Beau and Tess had left in each other’s lives.

Alice eyed the brunette. “Please, Kevin, have some taste,” she said with disdain.

“What? She’s totally hot.”

“If you like the kind that tries too hard,” Alice said.

“I happen to admire a woman who does anything hard,” he laughed.

Alice rolled her eyes.

“So what’s the plan for Halloween?” he lifted an eyebrow.

“No plans. I guess Tess will give out candy in her neighborhood, like usual.” Alice had forgotten that Halloween was only days away. She tried to remember what her costume had been the previous year.
Darth Vader
, she remembered with a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Party,” he said, still eyeing the brunette, who smiled back at him.

“Focus, Kevin,” Alice drew his face back toward hers with one finger. “Where? Whose party?”

“Neighbor’s. You don’t know him. He manages a bookstore in D.C. Not your type.”

“Like I care,” Alice quipped.

“Come with me?” he asked. “Maybe we can get Tess out of the house a bit? Dress her up, you know? You two can be Cuddy and Thirteen. I’ll be Dr. House.”

“Right, a hot bisexual and a woman you could never conquer? That should be fun.”

“Seriously,” he said, “it’ll be fun. Besides, Tess needs to get out.”

Alice scanned the men at the bar, caught the attention of a dark-skinned burly man who looked like he smelled of a construction site.
Bingo!

“Louie’s on line three again,” Alice’s voice sprang from the speakerphone.

“Tell him I’m busy,” Tess said.

“I’ve told him that the last million times. You can’t avoid him forever,” she said.

“Watch me,” Tess said. She clicked off the speakerphone and returned to her files.  It had been over two weeks since she’d kissed Louie, and one day less since she’d told him it was a mistake. Then why was she still thinking about it? Why could she still taste him on her lips when the lights were out? Why did she wait by the phone last Sunday for his call, and then ignore it when it finally came? What was she doing?

Alice stood in her doorway, her white, pristine slacks crossed at the ankle, her perfectly-pressed silk blouse open almost to her navel, lying flawless across her svelte figure, and the question Tess had just asked herself rolling off her lips.

“God, Alice, leave it alone.”

“Tess, he’s a good guy. He could mean business for you.” She moved to the chair across from Tess. “Besides, in your…condition—”

“He could mean trouble for me,” she retorted.

“Trouble? Because you guys ride bikes together?” Alice smirked. “I don’t think so. I was thinking security.”

Tess sighed, “You wouldn’t understand. Never mind.” She sank back into the plush leather chair and tossed her pen onto the desk. “Tell me about your latest conquest. Give me something else to think about.”

Alice rubbed the bruise she’d hidden under the sleeve of her blouse. “Nothing special.” Her eyes lit up, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing!” Tess lied.

“O-kay,” Alice said. “Well, there’s a Halloween party Kevin’s going to. He wants us to come—some bigwig in D.C. Whaddaya say? Wanna go with me?”

“No thanks,” Tess said.

Alice had expected as much. “Come on, I wanna go, but I can’t go alone. Besides, you can’t wallow alone in that house forever.”

Tess lifted her eyebrows as if to say, Drop it.

“Please?” Alice begged. “I won’t bug you about Louie anymore. Promise.”

“Promise?” Tess asked. She put her hand on her belly. “I don’t know. It seems wrong.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Even pregnant women go to parties, Tess—and yes, I promise.”

“And we’ll be home by ten-thirty?” Tess added.

“Midnight.”

“Eleven.”

“Okay, okay, eleven-thirty,” Alice stood. “By the way, you’re Cuddy, from that show, ‘House’.” She walked out of the room before Tess could protest.

It was easy for Tess to convince herself that she was going to a business meeting rather than a party dressed as Cuddy in a tight, cleavage-bearing business suit. Her hair had grown to her shoulders and she was wearing it parted in the middle. The button on her skirt pulled against her burgeoning baby bump. She buttoned the jacket, covering the straining fabric.
Oh yeah
, she thought.
I could rock this look for about an hour. I’d be home by ten, easy.

She found the location of the party easily, she simply followed every other person dressed in costume. It seemed the entire northwest section of D.C. was headed to the party.
Who is this guy, anyway
, she wondered. The house was immaculate, a three-level townhome, easily worth over a million. The scent of marijuana drifted out from underneath a closed door.
Great, pregnant woman arrested for smoking pot
. Tess hurried toward the back, marveling at the elegance: mahogany floors, wrought-iron banisters, stone columns.  She moved around Raggedy Ann and Andy and was about to tap the Tin Man on the shoulder to move around him when a very handsome Dr. House appeared before her.

“Cuddy!” Kevin took Tess into his arms. “I’ve been looking for you!” His breath reeked of alcohol.

“Where’s Alice?” she asked, pulling the top of her jacket across her newly rounded bosom.

“Thirteen? I dunno,” he slurred.

“Great,” Tess mumbled, wishing she’d stayed home.

Princess Leah tugged Dr. House away, leaving Tess looking more like an out-of-place businesswoman than a television star.

“Cuddy, come on!” Kevin called over the princess’s shoulder.

The clanking of glasses, laughter, and bits of random conversation filled the air. Tess squeezed through the crowd, heading toward the kitchen. She turned from the hall into the living room, stopping dead in her tracks. His thick dark hair was the first thing to catch her attention, followed by his height. He stood with Kevin, watching him, as he always had.
Of course
, Tess thought.
This was all planned
. She swallowed hard, nervously twisting her wedding band on her finger. She tried to walk toward him, but her legs failed to move. Her voice stuck in her throat. He turned in the other direction, his camouflage shirt stretched tight against his back. Why wasn’t he looking for her? How did he get last year’s Halloween costume without her seeing him in the attic?
Kevin, the key.
The din of the party fell away, leaving her in a trancelike state.

“I thought you weren’t going to come!” Alice sidled up to Tess.

Tess stared straight ahead, unable to believe that he was finally back.

“I brought a friend,” Alice continued, and pointed to a matador in full regalia. “Tess?” Alice followed Tess’s gaze. “Kevin looks great, doesn’t he?”

“Beau,” was all Tess could manage.

Confused, Alice looked around. After a second, she realized Tess’s mistake.

“Tess, that’s not Beau,” she put her hand on Tess’s shoulder.

Tess shrugged her off and moved toward him. She reached for his arm, grazing the side of his sleeve as he turned toward her. He smiled, a broad, surprised showing of perfect white teeth. The blood drained from Tess’s face. She stumbled backward, turned, and ran down the stairs and out of the house. Louie was close behind.

Chapter Eleven

Beau took one last look at the pocket watch and looped it around the belt hoop of Abdul Hadi’s pants that he now wore, dropping the watch itself into the pocket. Abdul Hadi had instructed him to leave his American clothing behind. Beau’s longer hair and scruffy face provided a modicum of disguise. He glanced back at where the hidden dwelling had been—the sand freshly turned, marking the outline of where sticks had been pounded into the ground, the center flattened, a footprint of where their camp had been. The surrounding dunes lurked behind them with ledges chopped into their darkened walls, an evil villain with a secret. He couldn’t fathom that he’d remained in the tiny enclosure for so many weeks. In the past, he’d have been looking for the best angle, the right lighting, now he yearned only to get home safely, to hold Tess in his arms, and to feel her gentle touch on his face.

They made their way in the dark, Suha and Abdul Hadi leading the group, Zeid silently plodding behind them. Edham kept pace next to Beau. He tugged on Beau’s sleeve and nodded toward his mother, who struggled to keep up with Athra in her arms.

Beau reached for Athra. Samira held tight. Athra leaned toward Beau, taking the decision out of her mother’s hands. Athra laid her head on Beau’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Time disappeared for Beau. He no longer thought in terms of days, but rather in events: when he healed enough to travel, when they reach the next camp. He noticed Samira’s shawl had pulled loose from her face, leaving the lower half of her face exposed to the sun. Her lips had already begun to chap, the skin stretched tight. Beau gently pulled the shawl up.

She glanced at him shyly, a smile in her eyes.

Zeid moved between Beau and his mother.

Abdul Hadi had the strength of a camel, carrying their supply of water and much of the rolled bedding. It looked as though he were hiding a small person within the confines of the bundle. He walked with ease across the dense sand, as if he were used to carrying such weight.

When the children could move no longer, they moved in the direction of the river and made camp. Samira and Suha bathed the children as best they could, filled water bottles, and helped Beau and Abdul Hadi prepare a tent made from the same dust-battered sheets they’d used before. Dirt caked the sheets, strengthening them like strong starch as they stretched the sheet between four tee-peed sticks on either end.

Suha pushed medication into Beau’s hand, curling his fingers around the small pills.

“I’m fine,” he lied.

Suha shook her head. “Jameel, take them,” she said in a maternal fashion and handed him a bottle of water. Her body hunched forward, her eyes heavy.

Beau recognized the fatigue she worked so hard to disguise. His own pain had become almost unbearable. He swallowed the pills and remained outside the tent to suffer in silence. The light of dawn threatened, pinks and grays clawing their fingers across the horizon. He stretched his limbs on the hard sand, rubbing the ache from his leg and hip.

Samira appeared next to Beau, squatting on her heels.

“Sleep,” Beau whispered.

Samira shook her head. She pointed to his leg. “I help,” she said, uncomfortably. “I help Safaa,” she explained, “when he fell, in army. His leg—” she grit her teeth and scrunched her face, as if in pain. “I make better,” she moved her fingers in a deliberate motion.

Beau looked toward the tent, afraid Abdul Hadi might get the wrong impression.

“I help,” she said again and began kneading the area just above his knee.

Beau put his head back in relief, sighing in spite of his worries.

“You hurt, yes?” Samira asked.

Beau nodded, glancing inside the tent, every muscle taut.

Her hands worked on his pain, massaging their way up the side of his leg in a methodical, practiced fashion. She looked at his leg as if it were inanimate and kneaded with determination, not seduction. Beau could not ignore the heated sensation that grew within him.  He laid his hand on hers, stopping her movement.

She stared into his eyes.

He placed her small hand on her own leg. 

“No help?” she asked.

Beau laughed. “It helps, yes. Sleep,” he said and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

Samira returned to the tent, her head bent in disgrace.

Beau opened his eyes. He hadn’t meant to make her feel ashamed. He reached out and touched her back. “You did nothing wrong. Thank you. It helped.”

Samira ducked inside the small tent.

Beau removed the photo from his pocket and stared into Tess’s eyes. As the sun peeked above the horizon, he fell asleep, the photograph clenched in the palm of his hand.