Come What May (8 page)

I opened the door and let her walk out first. After I stepped out, I released the breath I was holding. Now it would be awkward at work but I didn’t want that to happen. “Cassandra, wait a moment.”

“Yes, Mr. Preston?”

Why wouldn’t she call me Mike? I asked her twice. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to know that your rejection or interest in me will have no effect on our work relationship.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to know.”

“But can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why won’t you go out with me?”

She fidgeted with her bag then looked at me. “I just don’t think I’m your type.”

“My type?”

She nodded.

“What do you mean by that?”

She seemed uncomfortable. “Call me old-fashioned. I’m not into this modern way of dating. It seems like people sleep together first before they even have a date. It’s just not for me.”

“That’s fine,” I said. “And respectable. I don’t have a problem with that.”

“You just seem like…you get what you want when you want it.”

I refused to lie to anyone. It wasn’t my style. “I have a reputation for being a playboy, and it’s rightfully deserved, but I don’t want that anymore. I would like to go on a real date and get to know you—nice and slow.”

She pondered my words and shifted her weight.

“It’s just a drink,” I said. “No pressure. But I think if you gave me a chance, you would like me. And I’ll treat you with nothing but respect.”

“I don’t know…”

I wanted to pressure her but that’s not how I wanted to get a date. I couldn’t force her. “Think about it and let me know.  If you say no, I won’t bother you again. But I’m a good guy. I promise.”

She was still on the fence. People passed us on the sidewalk, everyone heading to their next destination. The more time passed, the less likely it seemed like she would say yes. “Okay. Just a drink.”

Did she just say yes? “Great. I’ll pick you up in an hour.”

“I’ll just meet you at Clare’s Bar.”

That was weird. I decided not to question it. “Great. I’ll see you soon.”

8

Cortland

Being without Monnique was like living in the desert without water. It was torturous, painful, and absolutely miserable. I thought about her constantly, wondering if she was thinking about me. I hadn’t called her once and she hadn’t called me. Over a week had passed, but our communication was silent.

I wanted to die.

How could this tear us apart? I felt like shit for hurting her, but I didn’t think breaking up was the answer. My heart had been faithful to her. No one else had entered my thoughts or my bed. We were so happy together. I wished I hadn’t questioned her about her ex. Perhaps everything in combination pushed her over the edge.

When Sean and Scarlet went to bed, I sat in the living room and stared at the wall. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything. I was constantly in pain, feeling the moisture behind my eyes over and over. Monnique was the most important thing to me, and she was gone.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted to see her. If I didn’t, I’d go crazy.

I snatched Sean’s keys and took the Ferrari to my house. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw my Infiniti in the driveway. I could see the light from the living room. She was still awake, watching TV.

I approached the door then tapped my knuckles lightly. I wasn’t sure if she would answer. Once she realized I was on the other side of the door, she probably wouldn’t open it.

But she did.

Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing my t-shirt. It reached her knees. The sight made my heart beat in my chest. I missed seeing her wear my clothes.

Neither one of us spoke. I kept my hands in my pocket
s so I wouldn’t grab her and kiss her.

She leaned against the door, looking at me.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

Monnique stepped out of the way, allowing me to walk inside. Once the door was shut, the tension settled in the air. She looked at everything in the room but me. And
all I looked at was her. Because she the single most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“I miss you,” I whispered.

She didn’t speak.

“Monnique, I’m sorry about everything.
Please, I beg you, let it go.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, shutting me out.

I felt my chest give out with emotion. “Every day without you has been horrific. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can barely concentrate at work. I constantly think about you, missing you. I’m dying here, Monnique. Every day is an ordeal for me. I can’t live without you.” I stepped closer to her, my chest almost touching hers. “You must feel the same way.”

Her tears built up with moisture and she nodded.

My hands hooked around her waist and held her close. That’s when I felt my walls crumble. My tears bubbled and fell. “God, I’ve needed this for days.”

She didn’t return my embrace but she didn’t reciprocate it either.

“Baby, I love you.”

Her face moved to my chest for a moment then she stepped away. “Every time I see you, it hurts.”

Her absence killed me. “It was over a year ago. Don’t live in the past.”

“I just can’t stand the idea of being second best.”

“You aren’t,” I said firmly. “You aren’t.”

“That’s how I feel. You run to
Scarlet for everything. Not me, her. She was the one you’ve really wanted. Every time we fight, every time it gets bad, she’s your girl. I’m just a girl you see so you can forget about her. I’ll never compete with that.”

“There’s nothing to compete with! I see Scarlet like a sister now. She and I were both going through a hard time and we helped each other through that. Bonds like that don’t just disappear. You’re mistaking friendship for love.”

“I’m sorry. You can’t take back everything. You hid it from me for a reason.”

“Because I didn’t want this to happen!”

She turned her face away from me.

“You can’t leave me. I’ll do anything to make this work, Monnique. You’re the love of my life. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want Scarlet.”

She shook her head. “Everything is different now…”

“No, it’s not. We love each other. That will never change.”

She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears with the backs of her hands.

“Baby, come on…”

“I can’t stand the idea of you seeing her every day. It will just remind me that I was the girl you settled for.”

“It’s not like that!”

“This would only work if you didn’t see her anymore.”

What? What the hell did that mean? “Monnique, what are you saying?”

“We can work this out, eventually. But not if you see Scarlet every day.”

That was practically a death sentence.
“Scarlet is your friend. You can’t just cut her out like that.”

“She’s not my friend anymore,” she said bitterly.

My mind was reeling with the words. I couldn’t believe she would make such an insane request.

“Cortland, it’s her or me. You said you would do anything for me. This is what I want.”

Was this a joke?
“How would that even work? Her husband is my boss. My best friend is her brother. I would have to cut everyone out of my life and move away to make that work.”

She stared me down. “You said you would do anything, right?”

I did. But this was my entire family. Ryan had been in my life for years. We did everything together. And he’s been there for me through this entire breakup. Scarlet was my best friend too. And Sean and I had become closer every since we started working together. A life without them was hard to even think about. I loved Monnique and wanted to spend forever with her, but could I sacrifice everything? “Don’t make me choose…”

Monnique tightened her arms across her chest.

“I can’t do that…”

The tears built up in her eyes. “You moved all the way across the country, forced me to leave my family, just so you could be with her! And you won’t do the same for me. Fuck you, Cortland.”

“No, it’s not like that. She offered me a job I couldn’t refuse. That was the deciding factor and you know that.”

“Get out, Cortland.”

“No! Baby, we don’t need to cut them out at all. Just give it time and you’ll realize you’re overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” The tears poured down. “God, I’m so humiliated right now. I can’t believe I fell in love with you. I wished this never happened…”

That was a stab in the heart. “Don’t say that.”

“I meant it! I just want a man that loves me. I don’t want to be beaten, I don’t want to be
second-best, I don’t want to compete with anyone. You would do anything for Scarlet but you wouldn’t do the same for me. That’s so wrong.”

“It’s not like that.”

She held up her hand. “We’re done. My stuff was already shipped back and I’m leaving tomorrow.”

My heart fell. “What…?”

She turned away from me. “I’m not coming back.”

The tears fell from my eyes. “No.”

She cried. “Just go.”

I covered my face as the tears fell. This couldn’t he happening. I’ve never loved someone the way I loved her. Losing her was unbearable. She was the light in my life.
The happiness in my despair. And she was leaving me.

She sobbed loudly and I sobbed too.

Abandoning her space, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. We both cried, clinging together. I relished the smell of her skin, and the feel of her soft hair. Knowing it wasn’t mine anymore made it unbearable.

“Monnique, I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too…”

I pulled away and pressed my face to hers. Then I leaned in and kissed her. The salt was on my lips, tasting her tears. Her lips were immobile for a moment but then she returned the embrace. We were both so
depressed, we clung to each other for any sort of comfort. My kiss was different, unlike any other before. I felt her lips, crying the entire time.

Her hands moved to the back of my neck, pulling me close. I guided her down the hallway, reaching the bedroom we made together. The furniture was mine, but it was half hers. I stripped her clothes away and she removed mine.

When our bodies combined together, we both cried. I moved inside her, not getting the same sexual satisfaction I used to get. I grasped her hand with mine and moved into her slowly. It was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever done. I wanted to stay inside her forever. I didn’t want anyone to claim her as theirs.

I made love to her lips while I worshipped her body. How could she believe she was any
thing less than perfect when I touched her this way? How could she think Scarlet meant more to me? I loved Monnique with my whole heart. How could there be any doubt?

We both reached our climax but it didn’t feel heavenly. It just hurt. I stayed inside her and held her to my
chest, relishing the last time I would hold her. She fit perfectly in my arms because my body was meant for her. I couldn’t sleep because I was too afraid of the following morning. I stared at her, memorizing every detail of her face so I would never forget.

I finally fell asleep against my will, drifting off into dreams where Monnique was mine forever. When I woke up the next morning, Monnique was gone. The remainder of her stuff was missing. Her presence was gone forever.

For the first time in my life, I cried hysterically, collapsing on the floor.

9

Scarlet

When Sean and I woke up the next morning, we realized the Ferrari was gone. And so was Cortland. We quickly put together the pieces and realized Cortland took it to Monnique’s. I was happy with the knowledge. Hopefully, they worked things out. Even if it was just a lonely booty call, at least they were together in an odd way.

But when we took my car to the house, I realized how wrong I was. I went into the house first and saw Cortland sobbing. Monnique’s stuff was gone and I realized what happened. She left. Sean stayed outside so I could hold Cortland until he stopped crying. Sean only cried in front of me, and I knew he wouldn’t do it in front of another guy. I knew Cortland didn’t want to be seen broken by anyone el
se but me. I held him in my arms and felt him cry into my chest. Seeing him so hurt made my heart break. I broke into tears and cried with him.

Sean took the Ferrari to work
, and Cortland and I went back to the house. He was so devastated he couldn’t speak. He was dead, his heart barely beating. There was nothing I could say to make this better. I sat with him and held him, giving him whatever he needed. As soon as Ryan was off work, he was at Cortland’s side. There was nothing else we could do, but hopefully this was enough.

Cortland didn’t work for the rest of the week. He stayed with Sean and I because he didn’t want to go back to the house he shared with Monnique. He said it was too hard. I made a few trips and retrieved his belongings so he wouldn’t have to walk inside. Sean and I got his car and brought it back.

“You can stay with us as long as you want,” I said as I rubbed his back.

“I’ll talk to Sean.” His voice was hollow.

“You don’t need to ask him. You’re my family.”

“I just don’t want to step on his toes.”

“Cortland, Sean loves you just as much as I do.”

“I doubt that for some reason.”

Sean came into the house then patted Cortland on the shoulder. “How are you holding up?”

Cortland didn’t say anything.

“I want Cortland to stay with us until…he feels better,” I said.

“Okay,” Sean said.

“See, Cortland. You’re welcome here.”

Cortland turned to Sean. “Are you sure? It’s just…hard to be at the house.”

Sean patted him on the shoulder. “You could live with us forever if you wanted to. You could be an adopted son if you want.”

Cortland smiled for just a moment before the frown reappeared.

“Besides, this place is huge,” Sean said. “And as long as you don’t interrupt my evenings with my wife, I don’t care.”

“I would never,” Cortland said.

I rubbed Cortland’s shoulder. “That’s settled.”

He nodded. “Thank you so much.” The emotion es
caped his voice.

Sean and I both gave him a sympathetic look.

I spent time with Cortland every chance I could. Sean was normally possessive and controlling when it came to me. He wanted me all to himself and refuse
d to share me with anyone. But he was being so understanding about Cortland’s breakup. And he never complained or gave me a hard time about it. And I loved him even more because of it.

I came to Sean’s office to have lunch with Cortland every day. I knew the silent moments were the hardest. There was only so much work that could distract him.

I entered his office and placed the salad and sandwich on his desk. I made the same for myself. He pushed his papers to the side then picked at his salad. Cortland was very quiet and didn’t have much to say. But that was fine with me. I knew how much he loved Monnique and it would take him a long time to make any progress. We ate together in silence. Sean was just down the hallway but he didn’t pester me to spend lunch with him. I would give him a kiss on my way out.

I touched my stomach when I felt a light pain. It shot through my side and directly in the center.

Cortland eyed me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” The pain disappeared as soon as it came. “I’m fine.”  I continued to eat my salad.

Cortland studied me before he turned back to his food. “I think I’m going to sell the house.”

That didn’t surprise me.

“I never want to live there again.”

“I understand.”

“Or maybe I’ll rent it out. I don’t know.”

“You could live with us forever,” I said with a smile.

“Is this
Full House
? I’m going to take care of your kids?” He had a faint smile on his lips. It wasn’t much, but it was an astounding improvement for him. For the past week, he was completely dead.

“You are their uncle.”

He finished his salad then moved to his sandwich. I noticed he was eating more than he usually did.

“Cortland, for what it’s worth, you’re such a great catch. Monnique is an idiot for letting you go. She’ll never find a man nearly as great as you, and she’ll regret the decision she made. I promise you that.”

He abandoned his sandwich, suddenly losing his appetite. “Scar, I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“There’s another reason why Monnique left. I guess I should tell you. Everyone knows but you, including Sean.”

That made my heart race.

“When we slept together a year ago, I…it meant something more to me than I let on. Somehow, I fell in love with you. But I knew how much you loved Sean. I didn’t have a chance with you, and if Sean was the man you wanted, I wouldn’t get in the way. When you got back together, I moved on. And when I saw Monnique, I never thought about you in the same way.”

His words winded me. This entire time, I thought he saw me as just a friend. I didn’t know how to process that.

“I hope this doesn’t change anything. It was a long time ago, and Sean doesn’t care. I told him a long time ago. But that’s why Monnique was so upset. She thinks she’s a rebound after you, that you’re the woman I really want and I settled for her. She couldn’t be more wrong, but she never believed me.”

I nodded. “I don’t know what to say…”

“I see you as nothing but an annoying sister,” he said. “Don’t worry about that.”

“I’m just surprised.”

“I hope we can move past it. I really need you right now…”

“Cortland, I’m not going anywhere. But I am caught off guard. Since Sean already knows and doesn’t care, there should be no problem between us. It was a long time ago. Let’s just forget about it.
”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“I’m still surprised she ended the relationship. Clearly, nothing would ever happen between us.”

He shrugged. “I got on my knees and begged her to stay with me. Believe me. I tried everything…”

I hated seeing the depression on his face. It was heartbreaking.

“She told me we could work it out under one condition.”

“What?” I asked.

“If I never see you again.” He didn’t look at me when he said it.

“And you refused?” I couldn’t believe he did that.

“I couldn’t cut you and Ryan out of my life. You’re my family. I hated losing Monnique but…I just couldn’t do it. I told her I shouldn’t have to choose.”

That hit me straight in the heart. “Cortland…”

“You know I love you guys. Everyone knows how much I love Monnique, but I couldn’t be with someone who would alienate me from my family. That isn’t the type of relationship I want. She should have just believed me when I told her, showed her, how much I loved her every single day of our relationship.” His eyes bubbled with moisture.

I rested my hand on top of his. “You’ll get through this.”

“Maybe…but it won’t be for a very, very long time.”

When I imagined losing Sean permanently, I understood the pain he spoke of. It was permanent, irrevocable.