Coming Home (23 page)

“No.” Ashley still looked at Heather for a minute before turning
to me. “No, you didn’t interrupt anything. Mom called and said you wanted to go
shopping.”

“Yes. Actually it was her idea and she gave me the day off. What
do you ladies say? You want to make a day of it?”

Heather whipped around and looked at me. Shock was clearly on her
face. “What do you mean by you ladies?”

“I mean the three of us, unless you two have other plans. I’m
sorry I shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No, we don’t have other plans.” Ashley took a step towards me
and started to whisper. “You mean you want both of us to go with you?”

“Of course. The more the merrier. Just let me get out of these
work clothes and into something more comfortable to shop in, and you two can
help me pick out my new wardrobe.” I started to leave and turned back around.
“You know I love you, Ashley, but I think I we both need girly advice from
Heather on this one.” I winked at Ashley as Heather started cracking up and
agreeing. Ashley mouthed the words, “Thank you
.
”

Shopping was fun, but lunch was better. It was great to sit and
talk—or listen—with Ashley and Heather. It was obvious how much fun they were
having, and I was enjoying it way more than I thought I would. It was a little
intimidating at first because I didn’t know the first thing about being a
responsible adult with two teenage girls. I was close enough to their age that
I may have thought something was a good idea when it really wasn’t. I hoped
Vicki was okay with the clothes Ashley picked out. I was on my way back from
the restroom when I overheard another one of their conversations.

“She is the best. If my big sister was actually as cool as
Rebecca, I would want to do this with her. Unfortunately she’s not that cool,
and I can’t stand to be around the mega bitch.”

“I told you Rebecca was cool. She actually listens pretty well,
too. I mean for an adult.”

I chuckled to myself before returning to the table. “So, ladies,
what’s next on the agenda?”

“Dessert?” They both asked together.

“Well, of course, but what kind!” I signaled the waitress over.

After a lot of laughter, half of the food the mall had to offer,
and several hundred dollars spent of the insurance money, Ashley and I dropped
Heather off at home and started home ourselves. It was a great day and I was
glad Heather warmed up to me after what I overheard back at Ashley’s doorway.

“You heard her, didn’t you?” Ashley’s question broke my thoughts.
“You heard what Heather said when you came to pick me up.”

“I heard that Heather was upset that you were ditching her again.
Have you been ditching her a lot to spend time with me?” If she was going to
start the conversation, I was going to use it to my advantage to put up
boundaries with her, too. Not that it’s worked for Vicki.

“I can have more than one friend, right?” Ashley seemed a little
defensive.

“Of course, you can have more than one friend, and I know you
have many, many friends. It’s just that when you have that one best friend that
you can tell everything to, well, don’t let her go.” I stole a look at Ashley
to make sure she was listening. “And I think Heather’s trying to tell you
something, but you’re a little caught up in our new friendship to hear it.”

Ashley snapped to attention at that. “What do you mean?”

“Ashley, I heard her say she’s got something to tell you. Are you
telling me you didn’t hear her say that?”

“I guess I didn’t. I’ll ask her tonight what she needs to talk
about.”

“You don’t have any ideas?” I looked at her again to see if she
knew something she wasn’t telling me. I didn’t know Heather that well, but I
could tell something was a little off.

“I have a couple of things in mind, but I don’t want to say
anything until I know. She may not want me to spill my guts. I’m sorry.”

I pulled into the drive and turned to her before getting out.
“There’s no need to apologize. I understand having something you don’t want the
world to know about. But, Ashley, if there’s anything I can do to help, please
tell me.” I got out after she nodded her head. I started to take the packages
out of the trunk, and she appeared next to me with an unsure look on her face.
“What?”

“I think she may have had sex on her date.”

“What? She’s only fifteen. Ashley, you haven’t had sex yet, have
you?” I didn’t know why I was so panicked all of a sudden. It was really none
of my business, but that is way too young and I didn’t want either of these girls
to get into something they couldn’t find a way out of.

“No. I can’t even date yet.” Ashley rolled her eyes as I exhaled.
She grabbed the last two bags and closed the trunk before running to catch up
to me. “Wait! Don’t go in yet.”

I turned to her with a puzzled look. “What’s wrong?”

“I have questions about sex, and I was hoping you could answer
them.”

“Ashley, you should really talk to your mother about this.”

“Could you talk to your mom?”

She had me there. I still wasn’t very comfortable talking to my
mom about sex. Mom knew Ryan and I had been intimate, but I only felt obligated
to tell her before Vicki did. “Can I think about it?”

“I guess, but don’t think about it too long. I don’t want to go
to the internet for my answers.” She tilted her head to the side and smiled.
“And don’t try to tell me you’ve never done it because I bet you and Ryan
have.” She laughed at my obvious discomfort at her statement.

I opened the door and ushered Ashley inside, hoping to switch the
conversation away from what she obviously wanted to talk about. It wasn’t that
I was afraid—okay, I was afraid, but only because I wasn’t sure what her
parents had already told her and what they wanted her to know. I wouldn’t have
been as hesitant to discuss things and answer her questions if she had only
asked in the car instead of on her front porch with her parents inside.

“You blame me, don’t you? Even though you were there, too, you
still blame me for everything with Avery!” Vicki’s voice caused me to stop in
my tracks. I wasn’t sure if I should sneak Ashley back out or close the door
loud enough so they knew we were home. Ashley made the decision for me.

“Come on.” She silently closed the door and took my hand to lead
me upstairs. She closed her bedroom door behind us and started pulling out her
new clothes as if nothing were happening downstairs. “Thanks for taking me
shopping today. I’ve never had a big sister before and it was fun.”

Her nonchalance at the obvious fight her parents were having was
troubling to me. “Ashley—”

“It’s not a big deal.” She shrugged her shoulders. “They fight;
they make up.” She put down her new shirt she was looking at. “You get used to
it.”

I’d never felt the need to protect someone more, and I didn’t
have the slightest idea how to accomplish that protection. I still knew I had
to try. Maybe it was just because she was a child and obviously hurt by the
arguments she’d overheard throughout her childhood, but she was also my friend,
and I could tell she was teetering on the edge. The tears in her eyes told me
she wanted to breakdown, and I wanted her to know she had someone to lean on.

Just going on my own experience of what my mother had done for
me, I walked up and wrapped my arms around her. “It’s okay to be upset. Talk to
me and let it out.”

It didn’t take much coaxing and her tears fell. Ashley clung to
me as if she’d never had a lifeline before as I led her to sit on the edge of
the bed. I rocked her a little as my mom does with me. It broke my heart to
think Ashley felt all alone in the world, because I knew for a fact those two
parents downstairs would do anything for her. I was sure my parents fought, but
I never had to hear it firsthand as Ashley obviously had.

Her breathing quieted and she started to pull back. I allowed her
the space, but remained sitting next to her. “Do you want to talk about it? I
hear I’m a really good listener—for an adult.”

That got a small smile out of her. She finished drying her face
and nose before responding. “There’s really nothing to say.”

I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Come on. You can tell me.” I almost
gave up since she wouldn’t even look at me.

“I don’t know why I’m not enough. Why don’t I make them happy?”
The tears started again and I put my arm around her. Neither one of us heard
her door open.

“Ash, you make me happier than I ever thought possible.” Vicki
came in and I immediately stood up. She was crying, but I didn’t know if it was
because of her fight with Matt or because of what she just overheard.

“Vicki, I . . .”

She held her hand up as I started to explain, but didn’t look at
me. “Ashley? Do you really feel that you aren’t enough for us?” Vicki walked
over when Ashley nodded her head and sat next to her. I quietly walked out as
Vicki pulled Ashley to her and assured her daughter she was the most important
thing in the world.

I walked back to my room to pack an overnight bag. It was obvious
they needed to be a family tonight without any distractions. I most definitely
felt like a distraction. As much fun as it had been being here, I really needed
to start to look for my own place again. I knew Ashley would be upset, but
maybe she could sleep at my place and we could continue our girl talks
occasionally. It wasn’t as if I were leaving her for good. I smiled,
remembering her telling me she’d never had a big sister before. Well, I’d never
been a big sister before and I liked it. The truth was, though, that I wasn’t
and she needed her family right now.

I wouldn’t leave without telling them that I was leaving. It just
wasn’t something I was looking forward to. I checked Ashley’s room and it was
empty. I went downstairs and heard Matt telling Ashley how lucky they were to
have her as their daughter, and I didn’t want to interrupt that. I stayed on
the stairs for a few minutes to let them have time and took my phone out to
text Ryan.

Up 4 Company??

He texted me back almost immediately.

Always Up 4 U. :P

I grinned like a school girl at his immature response to my
innocent question. Apparently, we each had our own meaning for the word “up,”
and I was glad he was able to send the text to the correct person this time.

“Are you going to Ryan’s?” Vicki looked at the bag next to me on
the stairs and back to me.

“That obvious?” I grabbed my bag and walked down the stairs as
Ashley came around the corner.

“You’re leaving? Please don’t go.” She hugged my waist. “Nobody’s
fighting anymore. Please don’t leave.”

I looked at Vicki and then down to Ashley. I was completely
stunned. I’d only been here for a few weeks and the friendship we made was the
closest friendship I’d ever had, but to hear her pleas for me to stay were
shocking. Ashley was surrounded by friends everywhere she went. I never thought
I would have meant as much to her as she had come to mean to me.

I finally wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her back to let
her know I meant what I was about to say. “I’m leaving for tonight.” I hugged
her tighter as she started to speak. “Just for tonight. You need some time with
your parents, and you don’t need me around for that.”

“But everyone has made up now. Please don’t leave.” Ashley started
crying, and I sat on the stairs with her.

I could tell Vicki left without even looking up. What was with
this family? They should have been happy to have one night without anyone
invading their space. One night to be together as a family alone without an outsider
they have to explain all of their private jokes to. One night where they could
be themselves and enjoy each other.

“Ashley, please.” I pried her off of me to look her in the eyes.
“I’m only going to Ryan’s for one night. I’ll be back tomorrow. You can check
my room. Everything is still up there.” I held up the bag. “Just enough clothes
for one night.”

“You’ll be back tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow. I’ll be here right after work. I promise.” I
squeezed her hand, hoping she would believe me and would be okay tonight. I
narrowed my eyes and looked at her closer. It looked as if she were trying to
suppress a smirk or a smile. “What?”

“You’re spending the night at Ryan’s? I guess that answers my
earlier question that you didn’t want to talk about.” She no longer hid the
smirk that spread across her face.

“She’ll be sleeping on the sofa, though. Won’t you, Rebecca?”
Matt stood in front of the steps.

Vicki came by and smacked him on the arm. “Leave her alone.” She
looked at Ashley and Matt. “Both of you.” She picked up my bag and started to
walk towards the door. “Ashley say goodnight. I need to have a word with
Rebecca before she leaves.”

I turned back to Ashley. “Just talk to them, okay? Tell them
everything you’re feeling and let them help. I know they love you more than
anything. Don’t doubt that.” Ashley nodded. “And then I’ll come back tomorrow
after work, and we can talk about it if you want.”

“I’d rather talk about how you spent your evening instead of how
I spent mine.” Ashley had that smirk back on her face and I couldn’t help but
grin at her.

I looked up to make sure Matt had left us alone and looked back
at Ashley. “No promises, but I’ll think about it.” She hugged me again before
running after her dad.

I took a deep breath before heading out to Vicki. I wasn’t sure
what she was going to say to me. Maybe she was mad that I was consoling her
daughter instead of making her aware that Ashley overheard the fight. Maybe she
was embarrassed that I overheard the fight. Maybe she was going to ask me not
to come back. I knew I had already decided to get my own place again, but I didn’t
want to be asked to leave. Before full panic set in, I stepped outside with
Vicki.

“Vicki, I’m . . .”

“Thank you.” I just look at her stunned. “Thank you for giving us
time tonight. I didn’t realize Ashley felt the way she does, and we need to
have some very open discussions with her.”