Commando (19 page)

The idea of having his children shimmered through her like a rainbow after a violent storm. Her eyes widened with surprise, and then grew lustrous with pleasure as she felt Jake move his hips. A soft smile touched her mouth as she slipped her arms around his shoulders.

“Yes…” she murmured. “Yes…”

Night had fallen long ago, and the firelight in the stone fireplace was dancing out across the large living room. Jake was in his blue terry-cloth robe, barefoot, and Shah stood in her pink chenille robe next to him. The Christmas tree standing in the middle of the huge room was now fully decorated, the lights bright and colorful.

Jake slipped his arm around Shah’s waist, drinking in her shadowy beauty. The firelight graced her smooth features, emphasizing the clean lines of her face. It was a face softened by love, he realized humbly, the love she held for him alone. As he led her over to the large sheepskin rug that lay before the fireplace, Jake brought a bottle of white wine with him.

Just the idea, the hope, that Shah was pregnant with his child filled Jake with such euphoria and humility that he felt on the verge of tears. Loving Shah was like holding sunlight in his hands. Whatever fears she’d had, she’d relinquished earlier, in the heat of their loving. As she sat down next to him on the sheepskin, the firelight reflecting across them, Jake understood the courage she had shown.

He filled two crystal glasses with wine and handed one to Shah. Barely touching the rim of her glass with his own, he said, “To our love, and to the courage it took you to love me in return.”

The words, like a warming blanket, enveloped Shah. She smiled up into Jake’s shadowed features, feeling herself respond to the burning look of desire in his eyes. Holding her glass against his, she whispered, “And to the man who gave me the courage to love…” Taking a sip of the wine, she put it aside and touched Jake’s cheek, now in dire need of a shave. The darkness of the stubble only made him look more dangerous, more alluring, to her.

“What if I am pregnant, Jake? We didn’t take any precautions.”

He shrugged and set the wine aside, drawing Shah into his arms. She came willingly and languished within his embrace, her head resting against his shoulder as they watched the fire dance before them. “Wouldn’t bother me.” He tipped his head so that he could see her expression, which was thoughtful, and perhaps a bit worried. “Would it you?”

She smiled tentatively. “No…”

“Then what has you worried?”

“I—Nothing, really. It’s just all so soon, so new…”

Jake held her for a long time. “You’re right,” he admitted. “We love each other. We have the time now.”

Turning in his arms, Shah faced him, his eyes dark with disappointment. “We do, but I don’t feel you believe that.”

He caught her hand and pressed a kiss to it. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Tears touched her eyes. “Jake, you had your family torn unexpectedly from you. I feel that now that you love me you’re afraid something terrible will take me from you, too.” Smiling gently, she caressed his cheek. “I won’t disappear on you, but you’ve experienced otherwise. You love children. And you were born to be a family man. It’s written all over you.”

Jake squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head, Shah’s hand warm against his face. She was right on all counts. At the time, he hadn’t thought of protection for Shah. Unconsciously he’d made the decision for both of them, and that hadn’t been right. Raising his lashes, he stared into her wide, compassionate eyes. “You’re right, sweetheart. We do have the time. I’m sorry.”

“Never be sorry,” Shah begged him. “I guess I’m just now understanding how very deeply you love me, Jake. You knew from the moment you met me. But I had to let you grow on me, because I was leery of you as a man.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to the grim cast of his mouth. “We’ll grow together, Jake. A day at a time.”

He nodded and ran his hand down the textured surface of her robed arm. “What if you are pregnant?”

“Then,” Shah whispered, placing her arms around his neck and forcing him to look up at her as she knelt between his thighs, “you and I will be parents sooner rather than later.” The joy she saw in his eyes made her heart break. Smoothing his hair, she added, “Did you know twins run on my mother’s side of the family?” Grinning suddenly, Shah gave him a little shake. “Serve you right, Jake Randolph, if I do have twins! Instant family!”

With a rumbling laugh, Jake caught Shah in his arms and laid her gently on the rug. Her laughter was breathless, and undying love for him burned in her dancing eyes and in the sweet curve of her mouth. “Marry me, Shah.”

The sincerity, the pleading, in his gaze tore whatever hesitancy she had left within her completely away. The word whispered from her lips, low and trembling. “Yes…” She threw her arms around him and hugged him with all her womanly strength. He buried his head beside her, nuzzling into the silk of her ebony hair.

As Shah lay in Jake’s arms, the firelight flickering over them, she had never felt more happy. Her heart was open, receiving, and Jake was responsible for it, for freeing her from the prison of her past. Shah realized that not every day would mean forward progress, because wounds took a long time to heal properly. As she lay there, feeling his heart’s steady beating against hers and his powerful arms snugly around her, Shah felt a contentment she had never before known.

“I love you,” she said, kissing him with all the tenderness she held within her. As she eased away from his mouth, Shah met and held his warm gray gaze. “Forever…”