Commitment Hour (33 page)

“What?”

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Groggily, I rolled up onto one elbow. I felt the weight of breasts on my chest as they shifted position. Was I the Female-Me? But I could feel…down at my crotch…

“Oh gods,” I groaned, looking at myself. “I’m the Neut.”

I let myself slump backward. I was lying inside a glass coffin.

Cappie stroked my cheek soothingly. “It’s a shock, isn’t it?”

“All this time I thought I was the male version…no, he was transmitting and I was just receiving.” Suddenly I sat up. “Steck said the Neut Fullin was dead. Burned black as toast.”

“And you believed her?” Cappie said. “Steck had better control of the armor than that. When your male self started shooting and your female self ran to Steck for protection, the force field didn’t flick on until your woman half was safe in Steck’s arms. Steck could keep the force field turned off when she wanted…so I knew she wasn’t telling the truth.”

“But why did she lie?” I asked.

“We’ll never know. Maybe she didn’t trust the male and female Fullins—she might have thought they’d hate a Neut version of themselves. This might have been a way to keep you safe from them. Or perhaps Steck just wanted to stash you out of sight until everyone else left Birds Home. It would give her time alone with her child: the one version who might truly understand her. Whatever the reason, she wheeled your coffin into the back part of the lab and hid you among the machines.”

I looked around; I was indeed surrounded by machines. Off to my right, a gadget with a large metal drum whirled faster than a spinning wheel; something liquid gurgled inside. “So you were just exploring and stumbled on me here?”

“No, idiot. I started looking for you as soon as your other two selves left. Why do you think I wanted to stay in Birds Home?”

“You stayed for me?”

“Yes.” She leaned over the edge of the coffin and kissed me. Hard.

“But I’ve been such a bastard…” I started.

“No, not you,” Cappie interrupted. “That was the other two Fullins…with the other two Cappies. When I think of all the bad things that happened between us—those are like dreams from a previous life. I remember, but I’m not scarred by them. Isn’t it the same for you?”

I thought back…and I could remember all the times I took advantage of her, the times I cheated or told lies; I could even remember the rationalizations I used to justify myself. But it was all secondhand, half-lost in haze; stories someone else had told me, dreams that meant as little as dreams always do. Only a few memories felt real and vivid: giving birth to Waggett (with Cappie holding my hand); my first kiss (with Cappie); my first time making love (with Cappie)…

Carefully, I climbed out of the coffin and wrapped my arms around her. Two newborn Neuts, warm against each other. The gods had never given me an opportunity to choose my gender, but they had still left me the chance to decide my future.

The choice was easy. “Happy Commitment,” I whispered in Cappie’s ear.