Committed to You (25 page)

“As I’ve said before, she’s my best friend. I do love her like anyone cares for their long-term friends, and that is probably what made the kiss appear to be so … ”

“Sensual,” she said.

“Maybe.”

“That’s what the world is saying. Many people are rooting for you two to be together. There’s been a lot of speculation on gossip blogs. What do you think about America’s fascination with you and these two women?”

“I find it interesting. Everyone has come up with a lot of crazy ideas of what we may or may not have been doing.” My mouth went dry, but Jacob warned against drinking water during a live interview, so I did my best to ignore the cool glass of water on the small table next to my chair.

“And are you in a relationship with Ms. Cynthia Wilson?” she asked.

“No. We believed it was best to be friends due to all of the craziness surrounding this. It’s really getting in the way of the things that are more important to us right now. I have some pretty big exams to study for this semester.” I chuckled.

“Didn’t you make the honor roll every semester since starting at Coventon?”

“Yes. I’ve been studying pretty hard. My parents believed education was important so I feel like getting my bachelor’s degree would make them proud as they looked down from heaven.”

“I bet they’re already proud.” She formed her mouth into a smile.

Would they have been? Would they have wanted me to lie too, or tell the truth? What would my mother have thought of the threesome? Would she have been ashamed or accepting?

The interview questions shifted to my plans for the future and teams that I hoped would pick me. Afterwards my publicist, Jacob congratulated me on a successful interview and gave me pointers for ones to come. By the time I got to my car to leave, my agent called to tell me that several athletic magazines offered top money for front cover articles. Most suggested they’d raise their fees for a photo shoot with no shirt. He’d scheduled several for the next weeks. I considered getting a public assistant to just keep up with the various things I had loading my calendar.

As I drove home, the radio reported a hurricane watch for an oncoming storm heading all over Florida tonight. The skies darkened to grays, peppered with darkness and lightening. Coventon’s warm breezes shifted to cold ferocious winds that whipped through the air and bullied the trees outlining the highway.

The weather matched my mood.

Once I got back on campus, half my team, my coach, and several stacks of beer waited by my door to congratulate me. Others laughed, hinting at the fact that I had to be sexing both Evie and Cyn at once. It pushed me on edge after an already hectic day. I snapped at a few, grabbed a beer from the pile, and escaped to my room.

Missed phone calls greeted my eyes. I didn’t even look at who called. I knew Evie hadn’t and that was enough to not check. She’d maintained her space since we all returned. Anytime I came by her and Cyn’s room, she found an excuse to smile and leave me with Cyn. Other times, she didn’t have to race away from me, the rest of the students did the avoiding job for her by constantly gathering around me like I was some goddamn war hero. People crowded me daily—women stuck their breasts in my faces and whispered their numbers in my ear, guys high-fived me and invited me to more parties than I could count, desperately trying to make me their best friend, and the professors were the worst. They winked and patted me on the back, gave me advice on life, whether I had time to hear it or not, and tried to find out why I’d really kissed both Cyn and Evie that night.

How can I be surrounded by so many people and feel so fucking alone?

And the whole time I swam and dashed through people, Evie was lost to me. Since she missed so many days, she dived back into her books, spending hours in the library with her headphones in her ears and nibbling on chocolate bars. I knew that fact because I stood by shelves for many minutes watching her read. When Evie studied, she tuned the world out. It was just her and jazz or blues, mathematical equations and logic solutions. Men worked themselves up to walk over to her and spark conversation. She gave them a few minutes and even a few her number, but they only got a brief amount of time before she sank back into her books.

She’d confessed to me that most of the females on campus had been giving her a hard time. When she walked by, they said fucked up things loud enough for her to hear. Others gossiped about her in their sorority houses, imagining sexual exploits between her and other men that never happened. She’d been partying off campus with her small group of friends more and more, due to having punched several women in their eyes on different occasions.

With all that happening to her, I was the last person on earth she wanted to talk to. So we didn’t. Instead, I texted her simple sentences and waited forever to get a response back.

Me:
Did u see the interview?

Evie:
Yeah. U did great.

I wasn’t sure what to say next. Had she been happy that I lied? Did she think that this interview would finally end all of the media chaos? Did she miss me? Would she take me back? Had I showed her yet that I was sorry and could be trusted to love her like she deserved? I was too big a coward to go down that path, so I picked a simple reply.

Me:
Can I c U tonight?

Evie:
I have plans. Sorry.

Me:
There’s a storm coming.

Evie:
I’ll be fine.

Me:
Is it a date?

It took her forever to respond. I’d drunk a beer and gone back out to the hallway to grab some more. When the phone buzzed, I dove for it and checked.

Evie:
Yes.

I gritted my teeth.

Me
: Who’s the lucky guy?

Evie:
The poor guy u threw out earlier.

The fraternity douche bag’s face popped up in my mind. I’d wanted to gut punch him just for thinking he could have a one night stand with Evie. Instead, I called my buddies on the defensive line to persuade him to leave. With ten big guys standing in front of him, the douche bag had no choice but to get out of Evie’s room quietly.

Me:
Mr. Gold Teeth?

Evie:
It’s just one. Lol. Stop that.

At least she’s loling me now. I don’t know if this is a path toward me getting closer or not.

How ridiculous that in these days I dissected every text she sent me. If she sent a smiley face, I brightened up and was nicer to the people around me. For some reason that smiley face gave me good signs that I was making progress. But then there were the days when it took her forever to respond back to my text or say more than a word or two. In those times, I grumbled and snapped at anybody who talked to me. I’d been spending a lot of time in my room, sulking and thinking of ways to get her back. The shit had gotten ridiculous.

Me:
Can I c u 2morow? Thunder Ball is out. U know u want to see it.

Evie:
Maybe. I’ll tell U later.

That was a big no, but I didn’t push her, at least she was texting me for now. She said “maybe” a whole lot more these days. Maybe I could come by. Maybe she would call me back. Maybe we could meet for lunch or study together in the library. Maybe always translated to no.

Evie:
Be safe tonight, Jay. I know u’re surrounded by fans, but make sure u have people around u trust.

Me:
I trust u. I think u might be the only person on this campus I really trust.

She didn’t respond and I knew she had to be over-dissecting the meaning and trying her best to not pull me back into her life. She’d done a damn good job of keeping me away this week. I didn’t think I could get back into her heart without at least being in her presence. That was all I needed. Moments alone with her, hours and days. When we were together, nothing else mattered. That was why she continued to run away as much as she could. She knew there was no denying our love when it flowed and bridged between us.

I gave up on waiting for her to reply and simply texted.

Me:
Don’t forget about the storm that is coming. Are u sure u should go out?

Evie:
I’ll be fine.

Me:
I miss u.

She didn’t say anything, but for me, her silence symbolized that she still couldn’t get me out of her heart.

Me:
I love you.

Smiling, I finished my second beer and started on the third. If I was going to come off as a crazy love drunk idiot to Evie, I might as well have a few drinks while doing it.

Me:
I miss kissing my pussy n the way u used to scream so loud when I licked your clit. I meant what I said that day on Pipe’s hotel living room floor. This is ur dick. No one else’s. I haven’t slept with anyone else. I’m not interested in dating. I’m waiting for u.

Evie:
Is this the moment when u send me a dick pic?

Me:
Would it help?

Evie:
No n U should date.

Me:
U should come over and let me show U why that’s a bad idea.

Evie:
I can’t.

Me:
Then I’ll come to you.

Evie:
No. I have a date.

I was glad she couldn’t see me snarling right there in my room, just growling like a wild animal. I crunched up the beer can, slung it at the wall, and lay down in my bed. That douche bag didn’t deserve her time or attention. He was a loser and idiot. Even worst, he’d fucked up and decided to mess with the love of my life.

Me:
Then 2moro?

Evie:
Maybe.

Me:
I’m taking maybe as yes.

Evie:
Then Ur an idiot.

I laughed and opened another can.

Evie:
What r u doing tonight?

Me: Getting drunk while I think about u.

Evie:
Yeah right. I bet you’re at some huge celebrity party surrounded by models.

I gazed around my smelly room. My roommate, Tito, played many pranks. Currently, he’d left a several pairs of his unwashed jock straps on my side of the room in hidden spots. Every now and then I discovered one—inside the top tile in the ceiling, inside my pillow case, and stapled to the back of my head board. I knew there was another one somewhere, and he refused to tell me. I’d gotten him pretty bad many times this year so continued to be a good sport and find the last one. I’d been thinking he might have opened up my mattress, put it inside, and sewed it back together.

Other than the smell flooding the room, clothes, shoes, and misbegotten bags of food littered the space. Since I’d been sleeping in Cyn and Evie’s room most of the semester I never had to truly live with Tito’s sloppy self.

Me:
Trust me when I say this. There is nothing surrounding me but junk.

Evie:
MmmHmm

I swallowed some more beer. A euphoric state rained down on me, just enough to drag me into a quiet sleep once I was done texting her.

Evie:
Goodnight, Jay. Have fun.

Me:
That guy ur going out with tonight is a douche bag.

Evie:
I think ur jealous of his gold tooth. Just get one. Lol.

Me:
Oh I’m jealous, but it has nothing to do with his teeth.

Evie:
I’m ignoring you. Goodnight, Jay.

Me:
I love you, baby.

There was no need to wait for her reply. It wouldn’t come. She’d dedicated herself to pushing away from me, and so far, I couldn’t do anything about it. The last time she texted or even said she loved me was long ago when we were together. Since we’d returned it had been silence on the other end.

Maybe I should ask Pipe what to do. No. He’s already having his own problems.

I took off my clothes, showered, and crashed into bed, with no motivation to even touch myself and think of her.
I’ll get her back.
I said that a lot more. The only difference from days earlier and now was that my belief in that statement dwindled with each day.
Dating.
I figured I had several weekends before she would go out and spend time with other men. I guess I’d figured wrong.

Fucking douche bag.

Tomorrow I would ask around about this guy and get his information. What I would do with it I wasn’t sure, but the urge to learn about him gave me some hope that maybe I could stop anything from happening between them.

What the fuck would I do if I knew where he lived? Fight him? Tell him to stay away from her? That would just get me in trouble with her.

My phone buzzed. Yawning, I rose and checked the new text message.

Evie:
I love u too.

I formed lips into a smile, lay down on my back, and stared at those letters as they lit up the screen.

Evie stopped texting whoever she`d been chatting with. I bet everything that I owned that it was Jay she’d messaged. I said nothing. It was a treat to have her in the room tonight. Usually she found every excuse she could to avoid being in here with me, but with the tropical storm and possible hurricane coming, most students stayed inside, including her friends.