Complete Harmony (10 page)

“Alex and I had lunch an hour ago.”

“You don’t have to eat with me.”

“Give up coconut shrimp and key lime? You crazy?” They shared a good-natu
r
ed laugh and settled into a very weird, awkward silence that stretched on. And on. And interminably on, until finally Laura broke.

“Why are we being quiet?”

“You’re being quiet. I’m waiting.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“For you
to
te
l
l tell me why you
needed
to be rescued from Mike and Dylan.”

“By the way, Dylan read my texts. Thanks for the fake meeting comment, you dork.”

Josie snickered. “Sorry. Is the fact that he’s reading your texts one of the reasons you needed a meeting? Too controlling?
Men like that are total assholes. If you have to control your woman to that point, or send her hundreds of texts a day, you’ve got a screw loose.
”

Laura waved her hand dismissively and took another sip of coffee. Her shoulders began to relax. “No. He just happened to look over my shoulder at the wrong time.”

“
So you’re here because…”
 

“Because I need help with my relationships.”

“
Pffft
. Wrong person to ask!” Josie crowed, taking a long, nervous gulp from her mug. “Wrong, wrong, wrong.”

“Says the woman who runs a dating service. So inspiring.”

“You hired me!” Josie shot back. “No accounting for your taste.”

“Speaking of which, how is business? I assume you made up the PR comment in those texts.”

Josie went from joking to uncomfortable. Uh-oh. “I did, but there was an element of truth. Some online forum like Fark or someone’s Tumblr made fun of us. We analyzed the inbound traffic to the website and followed it backwards. Just nasty stuff.”

“Let me guess. A bunch of guys moaning about how the only good threesome involves two women and one man.”

“Something like that.”

“Whatever. That we can handle. It’s when the gossip sites get hold of the whole ‘billionaire freak’ meme that we need to worry.” Laura could talk a good game, and was significantly calmer about the occasional bubbles of scandal, but it still hurt. When the gossip sites ripped into the life they chose, it was still
her
life. Her men. Her child. The jokes she could chuckle at. The barbs, though, drew blood.

And always would.

Jillian wasn’t an “abomination.” Her threesome life with Dylan and Mike wasn’t “unnatural.” The
folks who spewed intolerance came from such a wide cross section of people that she found herself studying it from a distance, because sociologically it was fascinating. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, atheistic, southern, New Englander, male, female—there were equal-opportunity haters out there, and all had an opinion.
 

Good Things Come in Threes soldiered on, though, gaining a steady clientele as Mike, Dylan, and Laura did everything they could to stay out of the limelight, going as far as hiring a PR specialist who had a sub-niche speciality: keeping clients
out
of the press. What irony.

So far, so good for the two months since they’d hired her.

And Darla was a treasure. An absolute treasure, and a bargain, from what Laura understood. They’d worked together occasionally, but their schedules never gelled well. Laura lived on Jillian time while Darla seemed to need her nights to play with her guys and their band. Josie said life was working well for her niece, and that the move had been good, which was fantastic. Laura knew how hard and radical giving up your known life for uncharted territory could be.

“I can’t prevent people from finding out that you three are, in fact, freaks. Did you ever get that hip injury checked out?”
Josie’s eyes were filled with merry mischief.
 

L
aura blushed. “I’m fine.”

“Alex had to go into a lot of detail that involves physiology and anatomy
terms
I haven’t heard since college when he was on the phone with Dylan that day. You guys really need to stop abusing that sex swing.” The last words came out of Josie’s mouth just as the hot waiter dude appeared with their shrimp and pie.

His jaw was on the floor and he stood, blinking furiously. Dark hair, gorgeous eyes, and the muscled upper body of someone who did hard work for a living. His shirt fit nice and tight against his pecs and his hair was cropped short. Forearms bulged under the strain of the serving tray, but he didn’t seem to struggle with the w
eigh
it.

And he stared.

“Hello?” Josie said, half standing to help. “You’re keeping us from a mouthful of your luscious stuff.”

“Excuse me?”
H
e choked, nearly sending the tray onto Josie’s lap. A quick movement from Laura held it in place, the pie balanced precariously on the edge.

“Caleb, what the hell?” Good old Madge appeared, eyes clear and blazing as she jumped in, delivered the food, and tucked the empty tray under her arm. “You planning to throw the food at people now in an effort to streamline efficiency?”

“No, it’s just—”

“And you!” Madge snapped at Josie. “Are you talking about balls and threesomes and did I hear a sex swing comment?”

“
Y
es,
m
a’am.”
Josie’s face was a careful mask of restraint. If Madge weren’t her boyfriend’s grandfather’s girlfriend (say that five times fast…) then Laura knew Josie would rip her a new one. Instead, she demonstrated remarkable tact, and it made Laura realize how much they’d changed.
 

Both of them.

Stunned silence from Caleb, who—in Laura’s humble opinion—could sit there and look s
hock
ed and pretty all day long.
Stealing a chance to study his rugged cheekbones and noting the alarm in those perplexed eyes, she noticed the similarity between him and…Madge? Wasn’t a grandson
helping to run the place and develop new menus? Bingo. She put it together all by herself, all while eyeing a guy whom she had no right to admire.
 

But hey—a girl could look as long as she didn’t touch, right?

“Good.” Madge cracked a wide grin and patted Josie gently on the cheek. “I’m glad to see Alex is being well taken care of.”

Josie’s turn to choke.
Literally. The bite of pie she’d started to munch on went down the wrong pipe and she whacked herself in the chest several times as both Caleb and Madge beat a hasty retreat.
 

“Heimlich?”

“How about bleach?”

“Bleach? For what?”

“My brain. I don’t need sex tips from Madge. Not about Alex.” She whooped her way back to a normal respiration pattern, then cringed as if she’d tasted something that had gone bad.

“Seems like she and his grandfather have a healthy sex life.”

“
L
alalalalalalala, I can’t hear you!”

“It bodes well for you, actually.”

“What the hell does Madge’s sex life have to do with me?”

“If his grandpa’s going at it in his eighties, then when you and Alex are in your eighties, you have a sense of what to expect.”

J
osie froze, her eyes going huge, her breathing stopp
ing
. Leaping to her feet, Laura came to Josie’s side of the booth and leaned into her face. “Josie!” she shouted with alarm. “Are you choking again? Can you breathe?”

“Why are you screaming in my face?” she gasped. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Your eyes…and you stopped breathing!”

“
B
ecause of what you said. Your fault! Not the pie!” As if to prove a point, Josie stabbed another piece and shoved it in her mouth, chewing pointedly this time
and not gagging, thank God
.

“
What on earth did I say?” Tears threatened her nose and eyes, her face suddenly swollen and puffy, feeling too big for her bones. Knowing this feeling, she realized she was overly sensitive and on edge, in need of a friend and a pow-wow. What she hadn’t expected was an edgy Josie. If the rule said only one of them could fall apart at any given time, then it was Laura’s damn turn right now.
 

“You implied that Alex and I would still be together in fifty or sixty years!”

“Why would that make you freak out?”

“Because I only recently let him take up an enormous amount of my apartment! Nearly half!”

“Josie, a toothbrush in a drawer and some underwear is not ‘nearly half.’”

“Says the woman who defines half a piece of key lime pie using the same metrics.”

“
Touch
é
.” At least they had their own pieces this time. “So you’re still
that
commitment shy with Dr. Perfect? Why? He’s…perfect.” He really was, and Laura never thought she’d say that about any guy Josie dated. The handful of
men
over the years that Laura had been allowed to meet were suspiciously familiar at
the
time, and months later she’d catch a rerun of some reality show about cheaters and realize, oh—that’s why.

N
ot Alex. Every time she thought about the two of them together, she smiled. Just like her and Mike and Dylan. The fit was so…perfect
that
there was no need to search any longer. Done. Signed, sealed, deliver
ed
.

And Josie knew it. Knew it deep in her dried-up little terrified peach pit that masqueraded as her heart. She just needed to give herself permission to let go and be with it, giving Alex a lifetime to get her to let go of the shield that was looser each day.

“We’re not talking about my relationship,” Josie said archly. “You’re the one with problems.”

Hearing it stated that bluntly didn’t sit well with Laura. “Not problems. Complications.”

Josie pointed her fork at Laura’s head. “Don’t you say it!”

“What? That it’s always complicated?”

Josie groaned and threw a sugar pack
e
t at her.

“It is, though. It really is. The complication comes part and parcel with the love.” Both took deep sighs and filled their mouths with blackberry dri
z
zle and key lime perfection. Food was truly perfect with greater consistency than men. And it didn’t hog the bed or leave beard shavings sprinkled all over the sink. Food didn’t leave the toilet seat up or shove balled-up dirty socks between the couch cus
h
ions.

Food also couldn’t fuck you silly and whisper dirty love sayings in your ear while it asked you—begged you—to share a fantasy you’d never told any other person in the world. And then g
i
ve you that little naughty dream right then and there
with strokes and licks and squeezes and pinches and moans that lingered in your mind for weeks
.

But man, if food ever could do that, then men would be done in a second, replaced by kitchens with insemination stations.

So men better be on their toes.

“
Alex is really pretty simple. As a body, I mean. But that brain of his gets in the way,” Josie said in a tone that made Laura wonder if she was just a microchip implanted in a human body.
 

“What about his heart?”

“Even worse! He expects me to be all touchy-feely new-agey and all that shit.” Eye roll.

“And you are too cool for that,” Laura said in her best neutral voice.

“I thought we were past it. Hello? We watched your daughter overnight. I gave him a few inches for his toothbrush and he took a mile.”

“He keeps one spare pair of underwear in your nightstand.”

“Squatter.”

“Now you’re just being argumentative.”

Josie gave her a blank look. “W
h
at does that even mean?”

“You’re arguing for the sake of arguing.”

“You’ve been my friend for nearly a decade and you’re only now realizing that? Gatorade. It’s what plants crave.”

“
What the hell does that mean?”
 

“Let’s just rename you Princess Obvious. Of course I argue for the sake of arguing. It’s in my DNA.”

Laura’s turn to fling a sugar packet
at
Josie’s head. “You are the worst person to talk to when I’m having a man cris
i
s.”

“Men. Plural.
You don’t have a man crisis. You have men crises.
”

“Yeah.” Laura sig
h
ed, pushing the last shrimp away. Her appetite really had dimin
i
shed. “Plural.”

Josie looked a bit sheepish, leaning forward and giving Laura that tilted-head kind of look that made Laura feel as if her exterior matche
d
her interior when it came to the level of confusion she felt. Was she exuding it? Did her eyes shine with some kind of needy bat signal?

“You need to talk to someone,” Josie declared.

“Like a psychologist?”

Josie frowned, considering that one. “No. More like a friend. A buddy who’s been there. Done that. Has the sore body from two at once.”

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true.”

“Like you’d know.”

“Only that one time.”

“Just…don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Make fun of me.” Burying her face in her hands, Laura almost cried. Almost. Raw and one big twinging nerve, she wanted to have the freedom to talk about her problems like a normal person. Just because she had unconventional relationships didn’t mean she wasn’t normal.

“I’m not
making fun of you
. Really.”
Josie’s brow furrowed and she almost looked like she really cared.
 

“Yes, you are.”

“But not in here,” Josie
said
, pointing to her heart. “I’m just teasing. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you.
And good attempt at actually looking sincere. Your fake sincerity has improved by leaps and bounds.
”

Josie stuck her tongue out at Laura in response.
“You need to find another woman who’s in your position.” Josie poured a cup of coffee and shook the pot, listening for the telltale slosh. Nope. She set it on the edge of the table, and Laura knew Madge or Caleb would come by soon for a refill.