Read Complete Plays, The Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
Titania
First, rehearse your song by rote
To each word a warbling note:
Hand in hand, with fairy grace,
Will we sing, and bless this place.
Song and dance
Oberon
Now, until the break of day,
Through this house each fairy stray.
To the best bride-bed will we,
Which by us shall blessed be;
And the issue there create
Ever shall be fortunate.
So shall all the couples three
Ever true in loving be;
And the blots of Nature’s hand
Shall not in their issue stand;
Never mole, hare lip, nor scar,
Nor mark prodigious, such as are
Despised in nativity,
Shall upon their children be.
With this field-dew consecrate,
Every fairy take his gait;
And each several chamber bless,
Through this palace, with sweet peace;
And the owner of it blest
Ever shall in safety rest.
Trip away; make no stay;
Meet me all by break of day.
Exeunt Oberon, Titania, and train
Puck
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
If you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to ’scape the serpent’s tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
Exit
Much Ado About Nothing
T
ABLE
OF
C
ONTENTS
S
CENE
II. A
ROOM
IN
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
.
S
CENE
I. A
HALL
IN
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
.
S
CENE
II. A
ROOM
IN
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
S
CENE
V. A
NOTHER
ROOM
IN
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
.
S
CENE
IV. A
ROOM
IN
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
.
C
HARACTERS
OF
THE
P
LAY
D
ON
P
EDRO
, prince of Arragon.
D
ON
J
OHN
, his bastard brother.
C
LAUDIO
, a young lord of Florence.
B
ENEDICK
, a young lord of Padua.
L
EONATO
, governor of Messina.
A
NTONIO
, his brother.
B
ALTHASAR
, attendant on Don Pedro.
C
ONRADE
and
B
ORACHIO
, followers of Don John.
F
RIAR
F
RANCIS
,
D
OGBERRY
, a constable.
V
ERGES
, a headborough.
A S
EXTON
.
A B
OY
.
H
ERO
, daughter to Leonato.
B
EATRICE
, niece to Leonato.
M
ARGARET
and
U
RSULA
, gentlewomen attending on Hero.
Messengers, Watch, Attendants, &c.
Scene: Messina.
A
CT
I
S
CENE
I. B
EFORE
L
EONATO
’
S
HOUSE
.
Enter Leonato, Hero, and Beatrice, with a Messenger
Leonato
I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon comes this night to Messina.
Messenger
He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him.
Leonato
How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?
Messenger
But few of any sort, and none of name.
Leonato
A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
Messenger
Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how.
Leonato
He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it.
Messenger
I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness.
Leonato
Did he break out into tears?
Messenger
In great measure.
Leonato
A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
Beatrice
I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no?
Messenger
I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort.
Leonato
What is he that you ask for, niece?
Hero
My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.
Messenger
O, he’s returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.
Beatrice
He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle’s fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.
Leonato
Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
Messenger
He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.
Beatrice
You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach.
Messenger
And a good soldier too, lady.
Beatrice
And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord?
Messenger
A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues.
Beatrice
It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing,— well, we are all mortal.
Leonato
You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.
Beatrice
Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
Messenger
Is’t possible?
Beatrice
Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.
Messenger
I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
Beatrice
No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?
Messenger
He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.
Beatrice
O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a’ be cured.
Messenger
I will hold friends with you, lady.
Beatrice
Do, good friend.
Leonato
You will never run mad, niece.
Beatrice
No, not till a hot January.
Messenger
Don Pedro is approached.
Enter Don Pedro, Don John, Claudio, Benedick, and Balthasar
Don Pedro
Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.
Leonato
Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave.
Don Pedro
You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter.
Leonato
Her mother hath many times told me so.
Benedick
Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
Leonato
Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.
Don Pedro
You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an honourable father.
Benedick
If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.
Beatrice
I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you.
Benedick
What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
Beatrice
Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.
Benedick
Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.
Beatrice
A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.
Benedick
God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall ’scape a predestinate scratched face.
Beatrice
Scratching could not make it worse, an ’twere such a face as yours were.
Benedick
Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
Beatrice
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
Benedick
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i’ God’s name; I have done.