Complete Works of F. Scott Fitzgerald (Illustrated) (468 page)

LINDY:
(From the doorway.)
Yes, she has forgiven him.

(Enter Lindy.)

CECILIA: Lindy, I didn’t know —

LINDY: I was standing here. It makes no difference — I am interested in Captain Holworthy because I started his — his change.

He’s — he’s rather a protégé of mine.

(Enter Jeff.)

CECILIA: I must go now. Mother is waiting for me — waiting luncheon.

MRS. D.: Will you stay and dine?
(Jeff coughs.)
We have not much to offer, but
(Jeff coughs)
— Jeff, will you be quiet! — but we would be so glad to have you.

CECILIA: NO thank you, Mrs. Douglas. I think I’ll be moving along. Good morning.

MRS. D. AND LINDY: Good morning, Celia.

MRS. D.: Jeff, never do that again. Don’t you know we are always glad to have anyone share whatever we have?

JEFF: Yassum, but we ain’t got but one share. You can’t share a share.

MRS. D.: That’s true, but —

JEFF: Dey’s plenty o’ chairs — You don’t have to chair de shares —

I mean chair de chairs — No, I mean share de shares — Mrs.

Douglas, luncheon is ready.

LINDY: The children?

MRS. D.: At the Taylors for luncheon.

LINDY: Oh, I almost forgot — Teacher — “that’s me” — was presented with two oranges today. I’ll get them.

(Exit Lindy.)

JEFF:
(Goes to window.)
Lawd o’ massy! It’s Mistah Charley!

(Enter Captain Charles Douglas.)

CHARLEY: Jeff!

MRS. D.: My boy!

CHARLEY: Mother!

JEFF: Large as life and twice as natural!

CHARLEY: Home at last, Mother. Where’s Lindy?

(Enter Lindy with plate of oranges. She sees Charley and drops plate which Jeff catches.)

LINDY: Charley!

CHARLEY: Lindy! Home again. It seems great.

LINDY: And the war?

CHARLEY: Is over. Lee surrendered at Appomattox twelve hours ago. We did all we could — We were all gone — It was too much for us.

MRS. D.: My poor boy!

CHARLEY: I’m lucky to be alive and have a home to come back to, and a place for food.
(Looks at table.)

MRS. D-: Sit down. You must be famished.

CHARLEY: Ah, milk!
(Drinks and sputters.)

MRS. D.: Why, what’s the matter?

CHARLEY: Nothing. But I’ve learned something.

LINDY: What?

CHARLEY: There are some things worse than prison fare.

MRS. D.:
(Drinks and sputters.)

LINDY:
(Holds up glass.)
Jeff, what’s the matter with this milk?

JEFF:
(Examines it carefully.)
Nothin’.

CHARLEY: Nothing?

MRS. D.: Nothing?

LINDY: Taste it!

JEFF:
(Tastes it.)
Oh, I recollect — I was enockomizing. Dey’s water — a little bit — in dis milk — Jes’ a bit.

CHARLEY: I should say there was. Mother, are we in need of economizing like this?

MRS. D.: Lindy teaches school.

CHARLEY: By all that is holy! I’ll get some work tonight. Mother, can you let me see exactly how we stand?

MRS. D.: Yes, I have the accounts in the parlor.

(Exit Mrs. Douglas, Captain Douglas and Jeff.)

(Enter Jim.)

JIM: Good morning, Miss Lindy.

LINDY: Mr. — Captain Holworthy! Good morning.

JIM: It’s — it’s four years since I saw you last.

LINDY: Four years.

JIM: I was different then — I reckon we all were.

LINDY: Yes, I reckon we all were.

JIM: I’ve always thought that you rather set me right somehow.

LINDY: YOU do me great honor, Captain Holworthy.

JIM: I haven’t forgotten it, either.

LINDY: YOU haven’t?

JIM: NO, I’ve — I’ve thought of it a lot more than you know. I realized long ago what I was.

LINDY: Well, you’ve come back different.

JIM: Yes, I reckon so. Do you remember the day when — when your brother was captured — what I said to you earlier in the day?

LINDY: Yes — yes, I think I do.

JIM: Well I — I can’t explain but — it’s you that I owe everything I’ve become — and that’s not much, for the last soldier of a lost cause doesn’t bring back much except an empty scabbard.

LINDY: And medals.

JIM: Medals.

LINDY: That little iron cross — Where did you get that?

JIM: Well, General Lee is the only one that can tell. HE — he gives them away instead of cigars; he was out of cigars the day I called.

LINDY: I see you’re more modest than you used to be.

JIM: It isn’t much of a virtue when you have nothing to be vain about. My vanity wants satisfaction in another way now.

LINDY: Yes?

JIM: Yes. I could be proud — very proud if — Miss Lindy, you know what I want to say. You’ve been with me always. You made me go south. You have made me what I am. Whenever I received promotion it was because you inspired me. And — and — will you keep inspiring me?

LINDY: YOU ask me to be your wife?

JIM: Yes.

LINDY: Ji — Captain Holworthy, the man I marry must have my whole respect. I have lived in a war time and have had death and bravery brought very near to me. Bravery and moral courage are to me necessary to respect and love. I — I — Do you remember that morning you told me you had a strain somewhere in your nature of cowardice?

JIM: I remember.

LINDY: Tell me then, if you have completely conquered that?

JIM: And if I have.

LINDY: If you have, I — I will marry you.

JIM: Miss Lindy — Lindy, I am telling you the truth, though God only knows it hurts me to do it — I haven’t conquered it. When it’s something impulsive or where I don’t have to reason, I’ve done many dangerous things, but when I think, I hesitate and give up. I got these trinkets for things like the first. This for a flag I took at Chickamauga, and this for saving Bragg from being shot at Shiloh; but I remember once when Lee asked for volunteers for secret service I didn’t step out with the rest. And when I was in Libby prison before I was exchanged, three fellows who were with me had a chance to escape. They offered me an equal chance — It was an even chance — death or escape, and I didn’t take it. I reckon it’s a yellow streak in me somewhere. I would like to try once more.

LINDY: I see. But your chance of trying is over now.

JIM: I reckon.

LINDY: Well, goodbye Jim.

JIM: Goodbye Miss Lindy. You are right — I shouldn’t have hoped for you. It was all a kind of a dream. (
Starts to go.)

LINDY: You may have a chance yet to prove it.

JIM: NO, I reckon not.

(Exit Jim.)

(Enter Jeff.)

JEFF: On celebration o’ Mistah Charley’s return kin ah get out de best tableclof? He’s got a bit o’ money and he’s goin’ to buy a good dinner.

LINDY: Yes Jeff, anything.

(Exit Lindy.)

JEFF: NOW whah was dat? In — in de oie linen chest what hain’t been used fo’ yeahs. Lemme see.
(Goes to chest and opens it.)
Why I — I feels sumpin!
(Pulls out roll of money.)
Jumpin’ Jerusalem it’s money! Stacks of it! Northern money. Now dat’s one hundred and one hundred is — Gee, I ain’t no mathematician. Now lemme see — How did that money get thar? That chest ain’t been used since Mistah Charley was captured out o’ it three years ago. Why, don’t I recollect he had some army money wit him? But it won’t do to tell him it was dat — He’d send it away to General Lee. I’ll — I’ll — diplomatize — dat is, if I’m as good a liah as ah used to be.
(Steps heard outside. Starts sweeping.)

(Enter Mrs. Douglas and Charley.)

JEFF: Mrs. Douglas, dere’s a mattah ah wants to broach to you.

MRS. D.: What is it, Jeff?

JEFF:
(Hesitates and jumbles.)
On de later desease — demise of youh inflected husband he sum-mumoned me to his bedside jes aftah he died, and thrust into mah hands a small sum o’ money which he said to give you after de triffic encountah which was den ragin’ triumphantly and spasmodically — de very words he used — was done. De circumstances is now justified. Behold!

(Produces money.)

CHARLEY: (
Takes it.)
Why, what’s this?

MRS. D.: Why, I didn’t know Arthur had any money when he died.

CHARLEY: Mother, it’s twelve thousand dollars good money!

MRS. D.: If Jeff is telling the truth —

CHARLEY: Jeff?

JEFF: Mrs. Douglas, ma mouf is as clean from lyin’ as is de grass from de snow — in de wintah time.

CHARLEY: It sounds true. Mother, we’re rich! It’s yours!

MRS. D.: It’s too good to be true.

CHARLEY: And I’m off.

MRS. D.: Where?

CHARLEY: TO see Cecilia.

(Exit Charley.’)

JEFF:
(Aside.)
No sah, dere ain’t nothin’ like a little judicious lyin’!

(Enter Lieutenant Percy Altwater.)

PERCY: Mrs. Douglas, good morning. I fancy you are surprised to see me.

MRS. D.: I remember you perfectly, Mr. Hotwater.

PERCY: Altwater, my dear lady — Altwater.

MRS. D.: Excuse me.

PERCY: Certainly. Do you know, I hesitate to tell you why I returned. Do you know, I fancy Cupid has been at work and brought me back, fair as a — a — What am I fair as?

MRS. D.: A dancing elephant.

PERCY: Yes, a dancing elephant — er — oh, that doesn’t sound just right, does it?

MRS. D.: Doesn’t it, Mr. Warmwater?

PERCY: Altwater — Altwater.

MRS. D.: Excuse me.

PERCY: And as I was saying, I made the acquaintance of a most fascinating young lady at your house, Miss Virginia the tailor — I suppose they meant dressmaker. But even if the poor girl is a dressmaker, I would wave aside caste and er — marry her.

MRS. D.: Very condescending of you, Mr. Breakwater.

PERCY: Altwater — Altwater. I think so myself.

MRS. D.: But she isn’t a dressmaker. That’s just her name.

PERCY: Miss Virginia Dressmaker — That’s a very odd name.

MRS. D.: NO no! — Miss Virginia Taylor.

PERCY: Oh!

(Enter Virginia.)

VIRGINIA: Good morning, Mrs. Douglas.

MRS D.: Here is a friend of yours, Virginia.

VIRGINIA: Mr. Sweetwater!

PERCY: Miss Dressmaker!

(Exit Mrs. Douglas.)

VIRGINIA: I am delighted to see you again.

PERCY: Did you get my letter?

VIRGINIA: Yes, and the coat-of-arms.

PERCY: Rather a pretty crest, isn’t it? I picked it up at a stationer’s in Richmond.

VIRGINIA: Horrors!

PERCY: I’m sorry. You’ll forgive me?

VIRGINIA: Yes. Who would not forgive the lost soldier of a last cause.

PERCY: Yes, but I’m not lost.

VIRGINIA: A slip of the tongue — I mean, the last soldier of a lost cause.

PERCY: Just so. It’s rather sad.

VIRGINIA: Sad? It’s all pathetic.

PERCY: Allopathic?

VIRGINIA: All pathetic.

PERCY: Miss Virginia, I’ve something to say to you.

VIRGINIA: It’s coming! — Isn’t it perfectly thirteenth century!

PERCY: Will you — will you —

VIRGINIA: Oh, I feel faint! Catch me! (
Fakes a faint.) (Percy springs forward.)
No, on the other side — It looks better.
(He helps her sink into chair.)
All right. Now go on.

PERCY: Will you marry me?

VIRGINIA:
(Dreaming.)
She looked tenderly into his dark brown eyes —

PERCY: But my eyes are not dark brown.

VIRGINIA: Sh! — And lisped — whispered tenderly —

PERCY: But this isn’t a novel, you know.

VIRGINIA: Now you’ve spoiled the whole thing. I want to look back upon my proposal as something romantic.

PERCY: But this is my proposal. Will you —

VIRGINIA:
(Jumps up.)
Wait! It must be on bended knees in the flower garden, with the roses —

PERCY: And the bugs —

VIRGINIA: With the green grass —