Complicate Me (The Good Ol' Boys #1) (11 page)

Stacey walked beside me on the beach, hugging her body firmly around my arm. Her attempts of trying to hold my hand over the last few years were taxing, and she finally gave up. It was dark out, but the full moon illuminated the entire beach, producing a soft glow around us. No one was on the beach. We were alone.

“Come on,” she baited, pulling me under the pier. She laid a towel on the sand, laying her body in the middle propped up on her elbows.

Peeking up at me through her lashes, “Don’t you want your birthday present?” she rasped, spreading her legs open, showing me she wasn’t wearing any panties.

I watched her every move. Stacey was never subtle, and it only made things much easier for me.

“This doesn’t change anything,” I reminded her, sounding like an asshole, but I’d rather she knew what she was about to get herself into than lie.

I would fuck her if she let me but that’s all it would be. Nothing more, nothing less.

“I know,” she stated with hooded eyes and a confident demeanor.

“I don’t have a condom.”

“I do.”

Reaching for my hand she lured me onto the towel, sitting her body on top of my hard dick. I gripped her waist when she started to gyrate her hips in a back and forth motion, leaning forward, close to my face.

“That feel good?” she teased, swaying her hips slower and steadier.

“It would feel better inside you.”

She seductively smiled and slid down my body, stopping when her face was in front of my zipper. Grinning up at me with glazed eyes she unbuttoned my pants and then lowered the zipper, freeing my cock and putting it into her awaiting mouth. I watched her suck my dick like she had something to prove, enjoying the sensation she stirred in my balls. She unwrapped a condom and placed it on the tip of my head, rolling it down in one swift movement. Confirming what I already knew, she used me as much as I did her.

She climbed up my body with a slow, steady stride, till she hovered above me waiting for me to make the next move. I didn’t falter. Grabbing my cock I angled it toward her opening. My eyes shut as I clutched her hips, gliding her down my shaft, making my head roll and my back arch. The feeling was indescribable, way better than having her mouth wrapped around me. With my eyes closed it made it easier to pretend she was someone else, even though I knew she wasn’t who I desperately wanted her to be.

I felt her lips on my throat, licking and sucking all over, intensifying the sensitivity of being balls deep for the first time. I groaned loud and hard. Panting and trying to control the pace of her riding me, she took it as a sign to move faster, grabbing the back of my neck for good measure. She wanted me to look at her. I could feel her sex driven glare on my face. She moaned louder and heavier when I didn’t open my eyes, kissing my mouth, beckoning me to open.

I didn’t, pulling my face away.

It fueled her fire to work me over harder and more demanding, each sway of her calculated hips hitting every spot that drove me closer and closer to release. I couldn’t hold back any longer, it felt too fucking good.

“I’m going to come,” I huskily groaned.

“So come.”

I came so fucking hard I saw stars behind my eyes, my body spasmed uncontrollably. Every inch of me perspired. My chest heaved as I lay there catching my breath and steadying my heart. After this experience it only made me want Alex more. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like with her.

“Want to do it again?” she moaned, resting above me.

I flipped her over. “Fuck yes.”

The second time lasted longer than the first. Stacey told me exactly what to do for her to get off, which felt un-fucking-believable on my cock. I tried not to picture Alex’s face but it was pointless.

When we finished, we went back to the restaurant. The boys were still playing pool, grinning like fucking idiots when they saw me walking up.

“Have a good time?” Dylan implied with raised eyebrows and a cocky smile.

Jacob laughed while looking at his phone. “Not bad, I was expecting you to last a lot less.”

They each handed Austin a twenty.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I argued, looking only at Austin.

“What? Why are you pissed at me? I’m the one that rooted for you. Hence, I’m forty dollars richer.”

I tried not to laugh as I shook my head, eyeing around the room. “Where’s Half-Pint?”

“She left after you left with Stacey, she said she didn’t feel well,” Jacob replied with a shrug, chalking up his stick. “I offered to take her home, but she said she wanted to be alone or some shit like that. I don’t know, I didn’t argue. You know how she is these days. I can’t deal with all the girly hormone shit. She texted me when she got home. That’s all that matters.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the muscles tense immediately. "Yeah," I sighed with a dry mouth and a pounding heart. I needed to get the hell out of there. I could feel the panic taking over. My skin crawled and my nerves were on edge. I knew I needed to leave before I freaked the fuck out, and the boys noticed. Stacey said she was tired and I used it as an excuse to take her home. I drove in a haze after I dropped her off, parking my truck down the road before I even noticed where I was. My feet moved of their own accord up the street and to the driveway, reaching the last porch step of our abandoned house.

My heart dropped. It shattered right then and there on the ground below me. My whole world seemed to come crashing down on me in a matter of seconds. Everything I thought I had under control, everything I wanted to believe, all of it… gone.

I saw her. 

And I knew.

It wasn’t hard to put two and two together. I don’t know how she found out, but all that mattered was that she did.

My brown eyed girl sat on our blankets with her arms wrapped around her knees, hiding her face. The tiny frame that I adored so much shook uncontrollably, only heightening the deepest sobbing that escalated with each passing second. It was such an intimate moment, not to be shared with anyone, especially me. Alex didn’t cry. I watched her bawl for the first time in my life. I had never seen anyone cry like that before, and it shook me to my core, slicing me whole and making me feel like I was dying. Carving a memory that I would take to my grave. 

There was no going back…

No erasing.

No do-overs.

No deleting.

What I witnessed tonight would be my purgatory. I would now close my eyes and forever see her falling apart in front of me. Shattering before my very own eyes and I found it hard to breathe.

Hard to move.

My feet were glued to the goddamn floor as she continued to weep, sob, bawl, violently sucking in air that wasn’t available. I accepted it all, each tear that fell from her face becoming pieces of me. Circulating through my veins and blood, it flowed endlessly, a river of her sadness and sorrow and of my broken promises. No beginning or ending to her cries, just an infinite current, flooding the hole where my heart should be. The shadow of her trembling petite body reflected off the walls, leaving a trail of regrets in its wake.

Mine.

Hers.

Ours.

Growing up in a small town you overheard a lot of things. People talking, stories told, town gossip. You listened a lot. You learned a lot. Tourists, townies, friends, and especially family all shared wisdom and advice that you think you will never need.

Bunch of bullshit.

They say you have that one moment in life where things could have been different, that one moment that changes the course of your life or the direction you could have taken. That one moment that could forever change you and everything you wanted to be true, everything you wanted to believe in.

One simple decision could alter your entire future.

My entire world.

I would forever remember this moment for the rest of my life. This is the moment that changed everything. This is the moment where I took another direction, another road that led me to my own demise.

My own regrets. 

I should have walked in there. I should have apologized. I should have begged for her forgiveness. I should have promised that I would never hurt her again. I should have done whatever it took to make her look at me the way she had our entire lives.

But I didn’t.

I did none of those things.

Not one.

Nothing was said between us.

No words.

No actions.

I was a coward and couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see her like that. I couldn’t look into her eyes and know that I had hurt her, that I had disappointed her. That I ruined her love and lost her respect for me.

The boy who promised he would never hurt her.

The boy who swore he would always protect her.

The boy who vowed he would never let anything happen to her.

That same boy was me.

I was the reason she was bawling.

I was the reason she was hurt.

I was the reason she was broken.

She knew the truth. It had finally caught up to me. I shattered her illusion that I was hers. I ruined the one good thing I had in my life. The girl that owned my heart was bleeding out for me in a way that I had never seen before. The house was no longer our safe place.

I had brought my hurricane with me…

I couldn’t risk the possibility of losing her permanently if I walked in there and admitted my truths. She wouldn’t love me anymore, she wouldn’t look at me the same anymore, and she wouldn’t be mine anymore.

My brown eyed girl.

The girl that I had loved all of my life.

The same girl that I would love for the rest of my life.

Alexandra.

I gave her the only comfort I could in her moment of despair. I turned around and left. I walked down the stairs and got into my truck. I turned the engine on and drove my sorry ass home. I took a shower and never once looked at myself in the mirror. I pretended that nothing changed. That I didn’t cause her pain, and that she didn’t know the truth. That I didn’t see her sobbing and that she wasn’t even bawling to begin with. That we were still just best friends, and that she was my girl and I was her boy.

My Half-Pint and her Bo.

It was better than knowing…

I. Ruined.
Us
.