Complicated Love 2 (6 page)

“About us?” I nod. “I know we need to eat so let’s eat dinner and talk.”

The food is still edible. The pasta and sauce are great along with the salad from the refrigerator. We eat silently for a few minutes and then I have to say it. “I’m sorry I left you. That should have never happened. And Keira,” I want her to look at me. There are tears streaming down her cheeks. I should be shot for the pain I have caused her. “ It will never happen again. I promise.”

She doesn’t speak for a long time. She just wipes at her tears. Then she finally asks, “ Lane, I wanted our baby. I’m so sorry. At first I wasn’t sure I wanted the baby. But in the end I really did.” She sobs uncontrollably.

I can’t take it anymore I stand and pull her into my lap as we sit on the sofa. “I know you did. I shouldn’t have said that stuff to you. You didn’t deserve it. I was scared, and full of grief and so were you.” I wrap her into my arms. I never want to hurt her again.

To make sure she knows how much I love her I reach down and tilt her lips to mine. Then I kiss her with all my heart and soul. Being Keira, she smiles up at me with those eyes and dimples. I can’t control myself. Dinner is over. I need more of her. So I carry my wife to the bed to make love again.

It’s late, we should both get some sleep. Neither of us wants to fall asleep. It feels like we’re dreaming. Being here together feel so wonderful. I thought I’d lost my wife.

“I miss you.” I whisper in her ear.

“You have me. Always.” She whispers into the darkness.

“ How have been down here all by yourself?”  I ask.

“Lonely, really lonely. I miss Sloan.” There is a still silence. We haven’t really talked about Sloan or how he died. I don’t know if Keira knows the details but I suspect she does.

“I miss him too.” I say fighting the tears I have been holding at bay.

“Lane, honey, it’s okay. I know you’re hurting. I’ve wanted to be there for you…” 

“I know you have and I’ve been pushing you away. I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

Slowly , the tears fall. And finally, I sob as my wife holds me while I let the pain of Sloan’s death flow from my heart. She doesn’t shush me or hush me. Instead, Keira rubs my back and lets my tears and grief flow freely until I am wrung out with exhaustion and cry myself to sleep in her arms.

Part V

Epilogue

“Lane,”  Keira panted. “I can’t! It hurts too bad. I can’t do this. It’s too much. “

Lane looked at the pain and anguish on his wife’s face. “Keira,” He was using the quiet hushed tones he’d learned worked best over the last few weeks. “Baby, you said we would do this. We can’t quit now. “

“We? You’re not doing anything but sitting there watching me suffer. It hurts Lane!”

“Baby,” He said in his softest possible voice despite his inner fear, “We promised Sloan, remember?”

“I know what we promised,” She yelled as another contraction hit her with the force of a tsunami. After being in labor fourteen hours, I can’t blame her for her irritation.  “I know the promise. Sloan is cause of this pain. He needs to come out soon. I don’t know if I can take much more.”

“You can do this, just a few more minutes. I can see his head. He’s coming baby. Sloan is almost here.”

With one giant scream and a push, Keira ushered Slone David Callahan into the world. Lane looked at his wife, “Thank you so much. I love you more than words can express.” Keira could only nod at his gratitude. It had been four years since Sloan’s death. When the ultrasound revealed a boy they both new his name would be Slone.

As Keira watched Lane rock baby Sloan hushing his small cries tears rolled down her cheeks. She still missed her big oversized friend. She hated that he took his own life. She hated that she’d never know why. But she stopped asking why long ago and just accepted it. She and Lane had spent many nights crying over the loss of Sloan and the way he died. Both looking and examining all the reasons and thinking of all the things they could have done differently. But Sloan would forever live in their hearts.

She could still feel his excitement and love in moments like today. When her eyes met Lane’s she knew he was thinking about his friend, too. Before either could comment. The room filled with grandparents and great grandparents.

Lane watched his parents as they walked into the room. They were changed people. Somehow watching the grief of Sloan’s parents made them re-evaluate their relationship with their only son. They had made up for their mistakes with Keira a thousand times over. The Callahan’s made a gallant effort to open their home and hearts to Keira. Lane’s mother apologized constantly for her attitude and dismissiveness begging Keira’s forgiveness. Lane’s father turned a new corner as a father and spent time with both Keira and Lane. Lane’s parents were in love like he’d never seen. The extended trip they’d taken was a marriage counseling cruise. His Gramps had suggested the couple take the cruise that was run by a pastor friend of his. The Callahan’s took the cruise and changed their marriage forever.

Lane was more than excited to call his dad at four in the morning to tell him of the impending arrival of Baby Sloan. Lane wasn’t surprised his parents were pacing the floors while waiting for the baby to arrive. And now he was more than happy to hand his son over to the happy grandparents while he checked on his exhausted wife.

Keira’s mother and aunt agreed to give them a few days before invading their bonding time. Gramps and his new girlfriend ,Miss Linda, were still in the waiting area.  Lane was happy to see his Gramps jump back into the dating game. He’d met Miss Linda at a charity event a little over a year ago. Lane enjoyed giving his Gramps dating advice and pointers. At times, he found it hilarious watching his always composed grandfather fidget with nervousness.

As the day wore on, various friends and family members stopped by to meet Baby Sloan. Eventually, Lane had to put a halt to the visitors since his wife was nursing and exhausted. She’d just had a baby. She may have graduated in three years but she wasn’t being smart when she refused to stop the visitors.

The vibration of his phone in his pocket caught his attention. Lane looked at the number on his cell. Someone from his office was calling. Lane was still working at the firm as a full time employee. He’d finally gotten his degree and applied for a management position since his boss was promoted. He’d had two interviews over the last three weeks. “Hello?” He said quietly as he eased out of the room not wanting to disturb Keira and baby Sloan. Both were finally resting.

Keira woke to the sound of Lane’s voice. He was talking softly to the baby. When he finally noticed his wife he smiled that smile that she loved. “Should we tell mommy?”  He said softly to his son. “I think we should.” He sat the hungry baby in Keira’s arms as she readied to nurse him. Lane watched in awe as his son latched on the breast and received nourishment from his mother. Keira cleared her throat to bring his attention to the subject at hand. “Oh.” He smiled sheepishly. “I got the job.”  He said quietly as he stroked the baby’s cheek. Keira never doubted he would get the job. He’d worked hard for the last four years and proved his leadership skills.

Keira looked at Lane, “I am so proud of you.”

“Not as proud as I am of you. Thank you so much Keira for giving us a chance. I know it wasn’t what you wanted in the beginning. I understand that this wasn’t your plan but I am so happy it worked out this way.”

“Me too. I am so glad we are a family. A real family.”

The End