Compulsion: Magnetic Desires (2 page)

Gathering up my books, I made sure to hide my drawing under the others, and waited by the door to speak to her.
Please don’t make a fool of yourself.
I scraped my hand through my hair. Everything would go right.

Then she stood right in front of me, and I willed my tongue to work and my mouth to form words.
Be smooth.
"Hi."

"Hi," she said in a shy, melodic voice.

"You’re Clodagh." This was going to go well, if I could only manage her name.

"Clo," she said, "my friends call me, Clo."

"Clo." It rhymed with glow, and she definitely had that about her. "I’m Orion."

"Oh good, you guys have met." Zack put his arm around her shoulder. I gripped my books and fought the desire to slam them against the side of his head. Why did he have to come off as such a sleaze? She couldn’t be enjoying his attention, could she?

It appeared she was. She beamed up at him as they wandered into the hallway.

"Are you coming, Orion?" he called over his shoulder, and I followed behind. How the hell had the girl I wanted ended up with my not-so-best friend?

O
rion hits his fist on the stool. "If only I’d gotten to her first, but I didn’t."

He does up the buttons on his shirt with nimble fingers. "If I could have had that time with her, I would have taken it. Hell, if I had another shot and could be the man I am now, I’d make it happen. I wouldn’t have let him have her, but I wasn’t the man she needed me to be. Not at that point anyway."

August 2004

I dumped my bag by the door. Mom would have a fit if she found it, but she seemed to enjoy yelling in a way I couldn't understand, and was always telling me off anyway. Too frustrated and confused by how the first day of school had gone, I could care less if I got chewed out at home as well. My stomach growled, and I went in search of a snack.

Being consumed with the gorgeous redhead unsettled me. I wasn't a fan of the way my heart jumped, like a bad drummer; making my palms clammy, and my brain disconnect from my mouth.

Not normally an awkward person, being unable to convey my thoughts was troubling. I was proud of my ability to be clear and concise in monosyllabic answers, but today communication had failed me. Um, and uh were not useful, and I’d developed a weird stutter.

The whole day had been like one of those chick flicks Mom liked to watch. I had a crush on Clo, and I didn’t want to think it, but the L word kept sliding into my thoughts. It seemed far-fetched, but the girl had this crazy effect on me.

It was physical. It had to be. That was why when I pictured her naked, my body jerked to attention. Yeah. It was nothing but a physical reaction. I was still embarrassed, but thankful no one had been aware of what happened.

It didn’t matter. She was with Zack, though it didn’t make sense that she would go for him. It had to be because being new, she didn’t know better. It wouldn’t take her long to realize what type of guy he was.

I scrounged through the fridge for things to stick between two slices of bread, and made a passable double-decker sandwich, which took less time to eat than it did to create. Snagging a bottle of soda to wash it down, I went into the backyard. From the racket coming out of the garage, I could tell Dad was home.

"You’re home early," I called out. Dad stood on an old milk crate as he bent over the chassis of his beloved Pontiac GTO. I kicked at one of the tires with my foot. The old car, like my father, had seen better days, but it was still a beautiful car.

Dad glanced at me as he kept working. "Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Zack?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets. "I’m changing it up this year."

"Fair enough." He ran a grease-streaked hand through his silver hair, causing it to stick up in a crest. "You can give me a hand."

"Sure." I tossed the bottle into the trash and went to stand beside him. "What do you want me to do?"

"Damn it." He lost his grip on the spanner. It fell through the engine bay to the floor. "For starters, you can get that for me, then she could do with an oil change."

Getting down on the concrete floor, I slid under the already jacked up car and passed the spanner to Dad before I got tools
.
For as long as I could remember, I’d worked on cars with Dad. I could change the oil with my eyes shut, not that I would unless I wanted to take a swim in the black goop. There were three generations of mechanics on my father’s side, and I loved working on cars. But unlike the rest of my family, I didn’t want to make it a career. It was something I loved to tinker with.

"Hey Dad, I thought I might start coming to the garage after school to help out for a while."

Dad grunted. "I think I can find you something to do."

He was proud of me, not that he’d say it. He wasn’t the type of man to open up.

"I need some help around here too, if you're up for it? If helping out won’t mess with your school work."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Well, the gutters on the house need cleaning up, and there are a few loose sheets of iron on the roof here. Plus a heap of odd jobs your Mom wants done. It’s too much for me to manage on my own, but I don’t want to get someone in. What do you say?"

The wrench still clutched to the sump nut, I paused. Dad had never asked for help. Of course, I’d been told to do my chores, and I’d helped with the cars, but that had always been about teaching me how to be an adult, so when I left home I would be able to fend for myself. This was different. He was, in his own way, asking for my help. A fluttery feeling not unlike the one I’d had this morning started in my chest, but the knot in my gut made it unpleasant. Last year, he’d done the same jobs he was describing with a bounce in his step and energy to burn, this year that energy had been replaced with a quiet tiredness. Not that he would admit it.

"How was school?" he asked, interrupting my realization of how mortal he was.

I didn’t know what to say. "There's a new girl."

"Straight to the girls are we? Tell me about her."

I moved the oil tray closer. "There's nothing to tell. She's going out with Zack." The wrench slipped into the black filth pouring from the GTO’s sump. "Damn it."

It wasn’t a big deal, and my outburst was directed more at the idea of Zack with Clo than the disgusting wrench and the state of my shirt.

"You like her, and she's with your best friend. I can see how that could be difficult."

"Yeah, I kind of like her, and besides, he’s a douche." The thick black liquid slowed from a steady stream to a spattering of drops.

"I heard about his shenanigans over the summer. I can't say I'm impressed. Glad to hear you can see that. It isn't the type of man I've raised you to be."

"She’s a nice girl. I don't want to see him hurt her." Even if I hadn’t been attracted to her, I think I would have still been worried about her decision to date Zack.

"Not much you can do. You guys hang in the same group don't you?"

"Yeah." I replaced the nut and slid the oil tray out from under the car.

"I guess you could try to be her friend, and be there when she needs someone. Depends on how much you care."

"Maybe." I stayed under the car, letting the chill of the concrete seep into my muscles. Could I do the friend thing, when I couldn’t manage to talk to the girl? Still, Dad was right. She would struggle to make friends with the other senior girls while she dated Zack.

"Good. Come here."

I pulled myself from under the car, and wiped my hands on a rag Dad tossed to me. The state of my clothes would just be another reason for Mom to yell. Dad opened the door of the car and grabbed the keys. "Your birthday's next week, and it's time you stopped driving my car."

I cocked my head. Was Dad hiding something? There were no other cars in the garage. Dad pressed the keys into my hand. "I expect you to look after her."

"You're giving me the car?" I couldn’t believe he'd hand over the keys to his pride and joy.

Dad clapped me on the shoulder. "Happy birthday. I have my work truck, and you love this old girl more than I do. Don't tell me you don't."

Dad was giving me the GTO. Holy shit, I wanted to hug him, but that wasn’t our style. "Thanks, Dad."

"I guess you better finish that oil change so you can take it for a drive." Dad patted my shoulder, and left me to enjoy my present.

"I
took my father’s advice, not because I wanted to be her friend, or because I wanted to watch Zack make her fall in love with him, but because he had never steered me wrong before. To be honest, being friends with Clo seemed too hard. I couldn’t stop wanting more. I watched her fall in love with Zack, and funnily enough, he seemed to fall in love with her, too."

December 2004

I trekked along the road that led out of town. Mom was always riled up, and Dad would let it slide for a while, before he’d start biting back. I couldn’t remember the last time they hadn’t been yelling at each other about him looking after himself.

For most of my life, they hadn’t argued at all. Now, it was all they did, and more often than not, I would hike the trails to get out of the house.

I adjusted the collar on my jacket, pulling it up over my ears in an attempt to keep the cold at bay, and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Wait up, Orion." I heard her voice from behind me, before Boulder blew past me in a flurry. The brindle mutt was splattered in mud, his jowls hanging open, and his tongue flopped out the side. He didn’t stop. I turned to wait for Clo to catch up.

"Where are you off to?" she said, breathless, her cheeks rosy from chasing Boulder, and the sting of the bitter wind.

"Nowhere." I shrugged. "I needed some fresh air."

"There’s a storm coming." She looked up at the sky, watching the clouds thicken and grow darker.

"Yeah."

She fell into step beside me. "Boulder’s made me chase him all morning."

I whistled and called the mutt, and he turned and loped in our direction, a huge doggy grin on his face. "Heel boy."

"He likes you," she said, and I shrugged again. One day I would have to talk to her, the shrugging thing was getting old.

"Can you get him to sit for me?"

I stared at the dog. Boulder wagged his tail and sat.

Clo clipped his lead to his collar. "I wish I could do that."

"We should head back." I didn’t want to go home, but it was going to rain. The wind began to whip around us, sending her hair flying in a messy halo. She shivered, and I considered offering her my jacket, but I wouldn’t be able to get the smell of her out of my nose if I did.

Her house was three blocks from mine, and it was pouring when we made it onto her front porch. Thunder rumbled overhead, shaking the ground as she stared up at me and my world tilted on its axis. It would be so easy to kiss her. Breaking eye contact, I contained the urge.

When she opened the door, Boulder threw himself inside, almost knocking her off her feet, and I reached out to catch her. She felt fragile in my arms, like she needed someone bigger than her to protect her. I tried to think of excuses not to let her go when she regained her balance, but her warmth and supple had me tongue tied.

"Thanks." She followed the dog into the house, calling out over her shoulder, "Aren’t you coming?"

I hovered in the doorway while I decided whether to stay. My desire not to go home won, and I followed her into the living room. A TV, bigger than any I’d seen, took up the far wall, and expensive leather couches filled most of the space. Dirt, and oil from working on cars was embedded in my skin, and the idea of leaving smudge marks on the couch made me cringe. Shifting from foot to foot, I shoved my hands in my pockets while she went to the kitchen, shrugging out of her jacket on the way.

She popped her head through the archway. "Do you want a soda?"

"Sure." I trailed behind her.

"You’re always quiet," she said. "We spend so much time together, but I barely know you."

"I’m, just, me."

She handed me a bottle. "Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do, besides hanging out with Zack and Chris?"

With a flick of her wrist, she twisted the lid from her soda and took a sip. My eyes glued to her, I struggled with my own drink. All thumbs, I huffed out a breath and finally got it off. My cheeks heated, and I took a long gulp of my drink only to choke on it. I couldn’t swallow around the lump that formed in my throat when I tried to talk to her. Anyone else and I had no problems, but with her it seemed I was tongue-tied.

"Are you okay?" She set her drink on the counter and moved to thump my back.

"I like cars," I stuttered, not able to deal with the idea of her touching me when I couldn’t do the same.

Her laugh was musical, and I wanted to tell her it was beautiful. "My dad’s teaching me how to fix them. I enjoy working on them. Seeing how they work."

"I don’t know anything about cars." She cocked her head to the side. "I love to read, and cook."

"Me too." It might not have been the complete truth, but I could make a mean sandwich. "I mean I like to cook. I’m not much for reading. I kind of suck at English."

"Oh." She tapped a finger to her lips. Perhaps, it had never occurred to her that not everyone was good at English. "Do you need help with our class work?"

"No."
Yes.
"Maybe." I wished I hadn’t admitted that I wasn’t as smart as her. The way she gazed at me made me want to tell her I was joking, but I needed her help. And the thought of spending more time with her made it easier to ask for help. "If you wouldn’t mind dealing with my dumb ass, then that would be great."

The rain turned into the storm we’d been waiting for. Lightning flashed, brightening up the sky and the house echoed with the sound of thunder.

"Will your parents be wondering where you are?" she asked.

"I don’t think so." They were probably still fighting, or not talking to each other. Either way, it didn’t matter. I was eighteen, and with that had come a lessening of parental control on my life.

"What about your sister?" She opened the pantry, and pulled out a bag of chips.