Conall's Legacy (13 page)

CHAPTER TEN

Drake shifted in the stall bedding, his butt numb from sitting in one place, holding Luisa. How had he gotten so wrapped up in her so fast? It’s too soon and too complicated.

But then he breathed deeply of her scent. Felt the slow beat of her heart against his. Felt the outline of her soft breasts pressed against his solid chest.

His arms tightened around her, and his lips drifted to her hair once more. How long could he deny the truth? He’d fallen hard for Luisa. He’d never wanted to protect and comfort any woman as much as he did her. Not even Rebecca.

Rebecca ... How could Drake even consider another woman? He owed Rebecca everything. He thought of her phone call. Thought of the dread he’d felt when he’d considered returning to LA. If he loved Rebecca, why would he do just about anything not to go back? But he had to return. There was no choice. A promise made to a dying friend was sacrosanct. There were children to raise and provide for. How would Becca manage without Conall? But, if he talked her into marrying him, could she make a life with a man who loved someone else?

Drake groaned and rested his cheek on the top of Luisa’s head. He would condemn himself to life with a woman he didn’t truly love, that was his penance and his promise to Conall. He had to go to her and try to build a life for them. If he returned to the desert and to Luisa, he’d be giving up his promise to Conall.

Claimed by emotionally exhausted sleep, Luisa shifted across his body, snuggling close to his comforting warmth. Drake gently lifted her chin, looked at her closed eyes and tear-stained face. He placed a kiss on each eyelid. A soft smile curved her lips, and a sigh slid between them when they parted. Her breath fluttered over his cheek. Drake lowered his lips to her mouth and stole one heart-stopping kiss. His thumb trailed across her cheek, wanting to smooth away her physical and emotional scars.

What scars had he left on Rebecca by letting Conall die? He couldn’t voice his feelings for Luisa--not now, not ever. It was time for a visit to Los Angeles, one he’d have to make alone. Time to seek Rebecca’s forgiveness for the gaping hole he’d blasted into her life. Time to see if she would marry him and let him help her raise Conall’s children. Dread weighed heavy on his mind at the thought. Maybe he had been in love with the idea of the family Conall had, and not Rebecca, after all.

Drake settled deeper into the shavings and waited for the sun to come up. He’d hold Luisa just that long, and then he’d have to let her go. If he were a smart man, he’d fight Rick for his job and return to LA permanently, not just go for a couple of days. It would be all the harder to leave if he came back here again. Back to Luisa.

#

Sunlight hit him right between the eyes as a rooster crowed. A velvet-soft nose brushed his cheek and blew in his ear. Drake started, then realized Knight’s Karma was checking out her bed mates. He caressed her neck, felt the silky texture of baby hair. Queenie munched on bits of hay from the bottom of her feeder, oblivious to the humans who shared her space. The filly moved away to nurse, and Drake smiled at the mother and baby.

He stretched stiffened legs and watched as Luisa’s eyes fluttered open. Her smile spread tentatively.

“I’m sorry. I, ah ...” She shrugged. “I didn’t mean to dump on you, or to make you sleep in a barn.”

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to.” His voice was husky, and he cleared his throat. “Besides, what are friends for?” Hazel eyes sparked gold as she gazed deep into his eyes. His blood hummed, speeding through pulsing veins.

“Are we friends, Drake?” Her voice was soft, sultry, filled with sleep. She nuzzled his neck, nibbled the throbbing beat at the base.

Drake fought for sanity. He held her away.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have to go back to LA, to my job.”

Luisa stiffened in his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought ... well, it doesn’t matter what I thought.”

He saw the hurt on her face, and knew he put it there. Drake caught her arm as she moved to stand. “Luisa, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. We are friends. I care about you.” He struggled for the right words. “I have to settle something before I let what’s growing between us get out of hand.”

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t owe me anything.”

Her doubt was back. Damn it. “It’s not you, Luisa. You’re ... special. I don’t have any right to let this go any further.”

“Say what you mean. Are you interested in me or not? Please don’t play games, Drake.”

Her breath came in short bursts.

“I told you about Conall.”

She nodded.

“I thought I loved Rebecca. Obviously, I don’t. At least not as a man should love a woman.” Suddenly unable to sit still, he set Luisa aside and jumped to his feet. “I don’t know. Maybe I was in love with the life he had with her. Family, kids, home. All the things I missed.” Drake paced the few feet he could in the stall’s confines, then brushed impatiently at the shavings clinging to his jeans.

Luisa rose, laid a hand on his arm, and stopped his movement. “So what’s the problem?”

“I promised Conall I would always be with her to help her and to raise his kids. He made me their God parent.” He slapped his hand against his thigh. “I made that promise to him as he took his last breath in my arms. I can’t break it, Luisa.”

The color drained from her face, and he knew she’d been hit with awful news twice in as many days.

“Well, that’s that then. It was nice while it lasted.”

“Luisa--”

“No, don’t say anything, Drake. I could never ask you to break such a promise. You didn’t do anything the day Conall died. You and Conall made a choice. You both tried to save the lives of other people in that bar. It went wrong. That’s all.”

He stepped closer, but she held up a hand to stop him from touching her. “But,” she continued, “you made a commitment you can’t break and I couldn’t be part of it if you did.”

“I’m being torn in two here, Luisa. I want to help Rebecca, to live up to my oath.” Drake sighed. “You don’t know the whole story.”

“Then tell me. I can’t sort through it if I don’t know what the hell is going on. Why are you having so much trouble accepting this was an accident?”

She wasn’t going to let it go, he could tell. He couldn’t hide the truth from her. Didn’t want to. He dragged air into his lungs, hoping that would make it easier to speak. He realized it didn’t help much.

“Conall usually hurried home after one beer to be with Rebecca and the kids. I was having a rotten day, and he stayed with me instead.”

Luisa shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“He wanted to cheer me up. And to be sure I didn’t drink too much and drive home.”

“You make it sound like that was a habit.”

“It was. I’m an alcoholic--a recovering alcoholic now.” He searched her face for a sign, some emotion that told him what she thought of a man like him. Compassion stared back.

“That’s not your fault,” she said, shrugging.

“It’s my weakness. No, don’t say it, Luisa. I know it’s a disease. My dad had it, too. I can’t help it, and on and on. I’ve heard it all.” He sighed. “But I still chose to take the first drink--even knowing my dad’s history.”

“That may be, but it is a very strong illness.”

“True, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with the fact that Conall wouldn’t have been there that day if it weren’t for me. Or that I thought I loved his wife. Or that I was the senior officer. He took the bomb and ran with it because he didn’t think my reflexes were good enough to do it.”

“Were you drunk?”

“No, but I’d had a few drinks. I know what he was thinking.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“He was my partner, my best friend. We could read each other from the time we were kids.”

Silence settled, heavy and deafening.

“So what now?” Luisa wrapped her arms around her body. “You’ve a promise to live up to. But Rebecca has a say in the whole thing, too.” Luisa shook her head. “And I won’t be the cause of you breaking your word.”

Drake caught her shoulders and pulled her close. “Now I make peace with the woman Conall left behind and try to make peace with myself.
If
I can ever do that, then I’ll have the right to build something with you. Not before.” A peaceful feeling settled over him, warm and real. This was the right thing to do, he just knew it. He had to go back.

Her hands braced against his chest, Luisa leaned into him and pressed her lips to his. Drake slid his arms around her, let his palms slide down over her hips. He tugged her tight against his thighs and deepened the kiss. He took as much as he dared.

He moved back on a sigh. “Give me some time, Luisa. You need it, too, to deal with your mother.”

“Oh, no, mother! I forgot she was in the house alone.” She tried to pull out of his arms, tried to turn and run, but he held her. He gave her another quick kiss, and sighed against her lips when Luisa molded her length to his for a moment before breaking their contact.

“I need to check on her.”

“No, you don’t.” Marie laughed as Drake and Luisa jumped apart like a couple of kids caught in the proverbial haystack. The horses spooked, and then quickly settled again. Marie leaned over the stall door, a broad smile on her face.

“Mother! This isn’t ... I mean it’s not what it looks like.”

“It wouldn’t matter if it were. You’re not a child. I didn’t mean to surprise you. So, who is this?” She nodded at Drake.

He stepped forward and shook her hand over the door. “Mrs. Montoya, I’m Drake Forrester.” He glanced from mother to daughter, and saw the heated flush gracing Luisa’s cheeks. “I’ll leave you two. Excuse me.”

Luisa hurried out of the stall on his heels. “That’s okay Drake. I want to fix Mom breakfast. Would you like some?”

Drake saw the hope in her eyes and reached out to squeeze her hand. “Not this morning. You two go ahead. I have plans to make.”

The spark of hope in her eyes went out, and Drake considered changing his mind. Luisa and her mother still had things to discuss; they didn’t need an outsider. He lifted Luisa’s chin with one finger and dropped a gentle kiss onto her lips, then touched his lips to her forehead. “I’ll see you later.” He nodded to Marie and strode away, leaving the two women in the awkward silence.

#

Later, Drake watched Luisa from the shadow of a large mesquite tree. He felt Marie’s approach before he heard her. Emotions churned in his chest--Lingering humor at being caught in the barn quickly gave way to the sorrow he felt for this woman and her daughter. The daughter he cared a great deal for.

He glanced at Marie and nodded, waiting for her to speak first. Her gaze followed his when he turned toward Luisa and Royal Knight. The horse stretched into a long, striding gait across the diagonal of the arena. Luisa amazed him. She rode the beast with the stirrups thrown across the front of her small saddle, her feet not moving a fraction against the heaving sides. The saddle was no more than a patch of leather on the massive back.

“She rides beautifully.” Marie’s voice held a wistful quality that drew Drake’s attention.

“How long has it been since you’ve watched her?”

“Five years, three months, and eight days,” she said on a sigh.

“Is that the last time you were here?”

Marie shook her head. “No. I haven’t been here in fifteen years. I went to see her ride at one of the rare dressage shows she’s attended. It was Scottsdale.”

“Was she glad to see you there?”

“She never knew.”

“But--”

Marie cut him off. “She hasn’t wanted to see me. We’ve talked once or twice a year on the phone, but I’ve kept up with her by reading about her horses, the rare show appearances, and, of course, reading her books.”

He lifted one eyebrow. “If it’s so important for you to keep up with her, why’d you stay away so long? Why didn’t you just come here?”

The woman kept her shoulders square, her back straight. More of her in Luisa than Luisa would ever admit, he thought.

“She hasn’t wanted me here. I only came this time because ... Just because.”

Her chin trembled then tightened.

“Mrs. Montoya, I know why you’re here. She told me last night. I’m truly sorry.”

She drew in a deep breath, let it slowly leave her body. “Thank you, Mr. Forrester. Then you know why I don’t have time to be subtle.” She turned to him slowly, staring into his eyes as though she could read truth or fiction there. “What are your intentions toward my daughter?”

Drake choked, coughing to cover his surprise.
The woman knows how to get to a point
. “What?”

“Don’t be coy. What do you think of my Luisa?”

His gaze drifted back to where Luisa passed across the arena again, still working without her stirrups, still moving fast and hard as though chased by demons.

“I think she’s the most special person I’ve ever met.” He looked at Marie. “But that’s
all
I think right now.” Diversion. He needed a diversion. “Why is she riding like that? It looks awfully hard.”