Concealed Affliction (21 page)

I wipe my mouth off with my napkin and look up at him. He really is a beautiful man. I wouldn’t be surprised if he descended from some ancient Viking clan. He could certainly act as one on a television show, in a loin cloth, with his sharp jaw and light brown hair, his broad shoulders and over six-foot body.

“Something like that,” I say.

I grab two beers out of the fridge, opening them and taking a long gulp. He does the same.

“If you’re alright with it, I’ll take it over for a while. If you come back, I’ll move out. I’ve been staying at The Willow, this might be a nice change of scenery for a bit.”

I nearly spit out my beer, recognizing the name of the motel. It’s not shabby, but it’s not a home.

“You’re not joking. You live in a motel?”

He shrugs his shoulders.

“It has a kitchen and a bed, which they make every day. Maid even does my laundry.”

I shake my head.

“Yes Denny, I’m sure she loves to do your laundry, and make your bed.”

He sets his beer down, offended.

“Toni is a very good room keeper.”

I let out a small laugh.

“Yes, I’m sure she enjoys her job where you’re concerned.”

A slow smile creeps across his face.

“I tip well.”

We both know what kind of tipping he’s referring to, but say nothing else on the subject.

“I’m out tomorrow afternoon. If you want to meet me here when I go, I’ll give you the keys then.”

He washes down the rest of his pasta with his beer.

“What do I owe you for the rest of the rent?”

I shake my head and start cleaning up the mess.

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, Elle. That’s what? Like six months almost?”

I contemplate his words and realize he’s right. How is it that half a year has passed since I moved here, fell in love with the cottage and fell for Ryder, moved from the cottage and then fell out with him? My life has been like a merry go round. Ultimately going back to Canada would be getting off where I got on.

Full circle.

“You heard Cabe, Denny. I’m a millionaire. I don’t flaunt it, barely use it. None the less I don’t need the money back and I don’t want it. If you want to pay me back, help Cabe whenever you can to figure out this fuck up that is my life.
That
means more to me than money.”

I turn around from placing the dishes in the dishwasher and come face to face with Denny. His hands are at his sides. He towers over me in my little kitchen and studies my face for a moment, not in an uncomfortable way, but like he’s trying to see all of me. I allow him this moment before he speaks.

“When you told us the answer would always be yes, for killing that guy, did you mean it?”

I look up into those piercing blue eyes of his, not hesitating for a second.

“Absolutely.”

He studies my face for a few more moments before nodding his head.

“Good.”

He leans down and places a kiss on top of my head, before turning around and heading for the front door.

“Thanks for the food, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I give a small pathetic salute goodbye, once again thanking my family and the universe for bringing such awesome people into my life.

Chapter Eighteen

“What color?”

I look at the reflection of the hair stylist in the mirror. She’s a little older than me with bright red spiky hair. I love her color. It’s daring. It’s bold. Knowing I can’t venture down that road today, I settle on what I came here for.

“Blonde, but leave a little light brown throughout.”

She studies me for a few moments before nodding her head.

“Contrast, I like it. I’ll go mix up the colors.”

By the time the blow dryer starts up, I’m lost in thought. I never thought I’d see something resembling the old me in the mirror. I haven’t seen light hair in a long time. I like it, and sometimes I miss it, but I plan to dye it back with a box of dye as soon as I cross the border.

My face is already different from what it used to be. Those sweet cheeks and that southern belle look I had are long gone. Not wanting more questions than I can answer at the border, I settle on my old hair which is the most predominant feature in my passport photo. At the time my hair was in huge curls and nearly down to my ass.

“Well, what do you think?”

The stylist takes the cape off and gives me a reassuring smile. My dark brown is now light in giant curls with lowlights throughout. It’s beautiful. She did a great job, but I know I can’t keep it.

“It’s great. Thank you.”

I pay in cash and head back toward home. I’ve tied up all I needed to here. I got my passport out of my safe deposit box and replaced it with my guns, knowing I can’t take them with me across the border.

I filled out a slip, listing Denny Black as next of kin in the event I die and my money and guns are still stuck here. Not that they’d really know, since I would die as Jayne O’Connor and not Elle Davidson. But Ryder and Denny would know and I plan to leave the information with Denny just in case. The rent for the deposit box will come out of my account, which has more than enough to cover it. I also stashed twenty thousand in the box; you can never have too much stashed somewhere. You never know when you might need it.

It has certainly come in handy this past year, cash money that is. I silently thank my father for not completely trusting banks and always being prepared. They had a huge safe at their home. A few months after they passed, I located the money, close to a million dollars in cash. It didn’t surprise me. He’d been putting it away in there for decades, always living by the rule that you can never be too careful. I took close to half of it with me and transferred some of it via Western Union before I left Canada. It’s been more than enough to get me by without needing to use Canadian bank cards to alert Braumer of my location, or anyone else for that matter.

I pull into my driveway, noting Denny’s truck is already here. I hop out and meet him at the steps.

“All ready to move in?”

“Yup, got two duffels in the truck.”

He won’t stop grinning at me.

“Diggin’ the blonde, darlin’.”

I shake my head.

“Well, don’t get used to it. I have a box of brown dye in the truck for after I cross the border.”

“Noted,” he replies.

He follows me up the steps and greets Norm when she bursts her healthy ass through the door.

“So, since you don’t have much, I don’t have to worry about my boxes of clothing taking up too much space in the closet?”

“No worries, darlin’.”

I walk into the bathroom and begin packing up my stuff I left out for this morning. There is still no feeling of emptiness as I pack. It’s like my mind is set on Canada and nothing else will get in my way. I know I’m leaving, therefore my body doesn’t stop to give me time to dwell on the fact I may never see this place again.

I grab my toiletries bag and head back into the main room, looking around, making sure I didn’t forget anything.

“You leaving everything in the fridge?”

I peer toward the kitchen, noting the surprise on Denny’s face. It’s still full of food, condiments and beer. A bottle of wine, or five.

“Yes. Don’t drink it all in one night.”

He grins at me over the door and comes out with a beer.

“I didn’t wash the sheets and there’s still a load of towels in the dryer. I hate folding.”

I start walking out the back door, wanting one last view from my porch before I go.

“Darlin’, I’ve slept on dirt. The sheets are fine. Might call Toni to see if she makes house calls.”

I laugh a little and look out at the water. This is it. It’s time to go.

I turn and look at Denny for what too may be the last time.

“I left my guns and some cash in a safe deposit box at this bank. Here’s the slip. I put your name on it, in case I don’t make it back here.”

Denny looks down at the paper in my hands, not wanting to take it, but knowing I won’t leave with it.

“I don’t like when you talk like that, darlin’. Why don’t you let one of us come with you, watch your back?”

I shake my head at him. I never want anyone close to where I once endured hell, where four innocent people have already lost their lives.

“Enough people have died because they were involved with me, Denny. I don’t need any more of that weight on my chest. I’ll be fine.”

I shove the paper into his hands and stare back out at the water. Only it’s not just the water, Ryder is standing there.

“He’s right, Elle.”

I feel an extra layer of ice coat my chest, not willing or wanting him to show that he cares about me. Sure, he cares about the lives of others in general. He just doesn’t give one fuck about the heart and soul of them.

Or maybe he just didn’t care about mine
.

“Well as much as I appreciate the concern, I don’t need it. I paid for information, not a high priced body guard or pep talks from one, Ryder.”

I reach out and give Denny a one armed hug.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Hey, what about the gym room? Did you look after that?”

“It’s yours until the end of the month.”

He gives me a squeeze on the shoulder and I descend the steps. I look at Ryder as I near him, not bothering to put the sunglasses on my face because there’s no emotion to hide in my eyes. I feel nothing. Normally I’d take in the beauty of his body, encased in black boots, dark jeans and his long sleeve shirt pushed up to his elbows.

Normally I’d study the way his almost black hair falls around his face and the darkness of his eyes. They used to make me melt.

I don’t do any of that.

I walk on, with my head held high and back straight. I never thought for one second I’d be able to leave without seeing him again. In fact, I expected it.

“It may not mean much beautiful, but you weren’t just some random woman to me. You’re still not.”